“…..”
For some reason, my lips were tightly sealed, showing no intention of opening.
It was unclear whether this was due to the struggle to find an answer to his question, or if there simply was no answer to give, with the exception of the fact that I was extremely embarrassed at the moment.
He asked if I had tried to escape the fence of fear created by myself?
Reflecting on Ruth’s question, I unconsciously clenched the hem of my dress.
Of course… Of course…
Of course…
In the end, I swallowed the answer that I couldn’t conclude with a period. It was a bitter feeling, as if I had been hit in the back of the head with a large weapon.
The harsh truth I finally realized was that I had never once tried to confront my fear. Instead, I was dragged around by it, only resenting the fear while I, in reality, did nothing at all. I didn’t even try to do anything.
As I remained silent, Ruth, with a reassuring smile, fiddled with some documents he had placed on the bed and said,
“Try taking on this opportunity.”
“This opportunity?”
“Yes. The birthday banquet of the Lady of Abyss, I mean.”
“Why would that…”
“Do you really think the Duke of Hazel would miss that occasion?”
“Ah.”
I see. I hastily took a breath, suppressing the words I couldn’t bring myself to say. It was because I realized late what Ruth was trying to say.
At Helen’s birthday party, I should no longer retreat but face the Duke of Hazel. So, it’s about overcoming the fear that has confined me.
…Is that possible?
After the realization, practical questions came to mind. Despite trying for 11 years, only now has the memory of that spring started to fade. Yet, here I am, worrying whether further efforts will actually dilute the instinct deeply rooted in my bones.
Noticing my anxiety, Ruth got up from the bed, approached me, and kneeled on one knee. Then, matching my eye level, he spoke softly.
“I will be by your side. So, have courage.”
“Why do you desire my growth so much? What benefit does it bring to His Majesty…”
“Not a benefit, but atonement.”
“Atonement, you say?”
As soon as I heard Ruth’s unexpected expression, I suddenly remembered Cedrics talking to the Duke Dright about ‘atonement.’ At the same time, I recognized the weight that the expression carried.
Then, what color is Ruth’s atonement? The same deep navy as Cedric’s? Or the light apricot like my sister’s?
While I was pondering his intentions of speaking about atonement, Ruth, after checking the body clock, stood up, glanced at the documents lying on the bed, and then with a nod towards the documents, he asked.
“If it’s not a problem, may I take it and look into it more closely?”
“Of course. There won’t be any problem.”
“Thank you for understanding. I will investigate the Duke of Hazel and a maid named Derena, and if I find any evidence to support your suspicions, I will let you know right away.”
“Yes. Thank you, Your Majesty.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Ruth responded to my thanks with a smile and picked up the documents with a light gesture. Then, as he was about to step towards the bedroom door, he turned back to me.
“Oh, and.”
“?”
“Lilac scent suits you better.”
“Why suddenly that…”
Huh?
I looked at him quizzically as he casually mentioned the scent of lilacs, and he shrugged nonchalantly, amplifying his attractive smile.
“Just because.”
It was a vague reason, but it seemed that was really all there was to it. Perhaps that’s why I didn’t feel the need to probe further. It was just strange that he kept mentioning the scent of lilacs.
As I stood there dumbfounded with a big question mark on my face, Ruth said it was time to go and left the bedroom.
I remained standing there in a daze until his platinum hair was completely out of sight, focusing all my senses on the faint scent of lilacs that was drifting from somewhere.
***
The next day, the courthouse where the trial of the Marquess of Dright was taking place was so crowded that there was hardly room to stand. Those present were likely nobles who came to enjoy the fall of what was once considered a shining star of integrity, pretending it was not what it really was.
This just goes to show how cruel high society can be.
I sat in a relatively quiet corner on the second floor, frowning at the people who booed the entering Marquess of Dright. It was ridiculous how attitudes towards someone could change so drastically in just one month.
While I was grumbling to myself with a pout, someone approached me with calm steps.
“?”
“It’s been a while.”
Caught off guard, I turned my head quickly to find Cedric, with his light-absorbing white hair, giving a bright smile. In truth, the soft curve showing just a hint of his neat teeth was more of a gentle smile than a bright one.
Just before I could greet him with the joy of seeing him after so long, I noticed that Cedric had lost weight compared to the last time we met. Thanks to this, his already slender figure seemed even more slender.
He must have been through some troubles.
I pondered the emotions Ian must have felt when he was injured during training, attempting to grasp how troubled Cedric must have been over the past few days, but eventually gave up.
Undoubtedly, it must have been excruciatingly hard, almost inconceivable. I myself would lose sleep and fail to digest meals properly if my sister or Ian were detained on a charge of murder.
“You’ve been holding up well.”
I had a sense of the tough battle Cedric had been fighting alone, and when I softly spoke a few words, his brows furrowed for a moment before relaxing. Then, with a slightly cracked voice, he responded.
“I must find the strength, mustn’t I?”
“Still, it’s alright to lean on me a bit if it gets hard. After all, we are comrades who have shared such significant events.”
“…Is that so.”
“Yes. Although, I may not seem very reliable.”
I added with a shrug, prompting a quiet chuckle from Cedric. Amid his nodding, Ruth’s voice emerged from behind.
“So, you were here.”
“Your Majesty.”
“Your Majesty, it’s a pleasure.”
Recognizing him just by his voice, I greeted him with a broad smile, while Cedric, with a slightly stiff expression, bowed to Ruth.
Cedric’s greeting was casually acknowledged with a wave as Ruth strode over to my side.
“Given the nature of the case, the trial might take a while. Do you plan to watch it from the start?”
“Um, yes. Since the case is what it is, I’d like to watch the entire trial of Count Dright from beginning to end.”
“I see. It does seem like something you would do.”
Ruth nodded in agreement with my decision to see it through no matter how long it might be, then glanced at the empty seat next to me.
“May I sit next to you?”
“Yes, you may.”
As soon as I gave my permission, Ruth took the seat with an air of nonchalance, crossing his arms. Seeing us seated, Cedric too planted himself in a chair, and so the trial of Count Dright officially commenced.
The trial proceeded with the charges against Count Dright, the investigator’s claims, followed by the defense attorney’s arguments for Count Dright’s side.
Initially, everyone in the court was quite disappointed upon hearing that Count Dright was accused of murder. However, once it was revealed that the victim was a vulnerable person like an illegitimate child, opinions seemed to lean towards understanding.
All of this was within mine and Ruth’s expectations, so we weren’t significantly disturbed by the developments, although there was no helping the nervousness.
Now that I think about it, Lilia was supposed to come; why isn’t she here?
I kept alternating my gaze between the still vacant seat and the grandfather clock, which belonged to the eldest son of the Harvest family. As the minute hand moved, my heart rate increased.
It had been about 45 minutes since the trial had begun. Suddenly, the courtroom door burst open. With it, the attention of everyone inside the courtroom shifted in that direction.
“I am sorry for being late.”
The person who kicked open the door and entered was none other than Lilia. It was curious timing, especially since I had been wondering about Lilia’s whereabouts.
Thankfully.
Internally relieved, I firmly held back the corners of my lips that wanted to curl up.
People were initially surprised by her appearance, and then doubly so when they saw her taking the seat that belonged to the eldest son of the Harvest family.
“Ah.”
“So the rumor is true…”
“To think they would go this far for a mere bastard.”
Murmurs started to arise here and there. Some were shocked that a great family like the Harvest was involved in this matter, while others scorned the Harvest family for doing so much for a mere bastard.
I watched the reactions of those people, nervously clenching and unclenching my fists. I disliked the feeling of sweat forming on my palms.
But apart from the tension, as we expected, the arrival of Lilia overturned the situation that had been favorable for the Marquis of Dright. Not only that, but the Harvest side had a competent lawyer whose eloquence was exceptionally remarkable.
In the midst of the Marquis of Dright’s fate being gradually determined, I suddenly remembered a fairy tale I had heard from my sister.
The fairy tale was about a prince who tries to rescue a princess under a spell but falls into a witch’s trap and faces adversities. I heard that it was so popular that it even got adapted into a play. Despite making everything similar to the fairy tale, there was one difference in the play.
While the fairy tale’s ending was a closed happy one,
“…therefore, this court sentences the defendant to life imprisonment.”
the ending of the play was open.
