Chapter 9. Fragrant Rose
Cedric decided to go back to the Dright ducal residence to deal with the things he had planned before he got busier with more tasks. And with a supportive heart, I took Helen’s invitation that I had left in the corner of my bedroom and went to look for Ruth.
Somehow, it felt like it had to be today. Maybe it was because I had heard the sincere stories of the young Duke Dright, but today, I felt a courage welling up within me several times stronger; but putting that aside, it just felt like that kind of day.
As agreed with Isabella, Ruth was dealing with the paperwork that had piled up after meeting with the owner of the magic tower, Tommy, earlier. So, it would be alright to visit him for a very brief moment, assuming of course, that no unexpected variables arise.
Holding the invitation tightly in both hands, I walked towards Ruth’s office, taking deep breaths.
It felt as if there was a huge hole somewhere in my lungs, a vast sense of liberation that I hadn’t felt before washed over me like a flood. It was a sweet liberation, one I could die drowning in without any regrets.
Considering I hadn’t heard particularly good things from the young Duke Dright, it should have made sense for me to feel upset, yet why did I feel this way? As I walked, pondering the essential reasons that I might have missed, I came back to my senses and found myself already in front of Ruth’s office.
Should I knock now?
I stood staring at the firmly closed door, weakly clenched my fist, and brought my hand close to the door. Just as I was about to knock on the door with a slight movement of my wrist, suddenly, the door opened, and Lilia emerged from the office.
“Lady?”
“Lilia…?”
“What brings you here, my lady?”
“Ah, I came to see His Majesty. Is he busy by any chance? Should I come back later?”
“Not at all. You’ve come at just the right time. His Majesty has just finished dealing with urgent matters and is resting now.”
“That’s a relief. Could you please check if it’s alright for me to enter?”
“Of course. Please wait a moment.”
Upon my request, Lilia, who flashed a pleasant smile, disappeared inside the office for a moment. Then, she came back out with an even brighter smile and gestured towards the inside of the office with her chin.
“His Majesty says it’s fine. Please come in.”
“Thank you, Lilia. I’ll excuse myself for a moment then.”
I expressed my gratitude to Lilia for making it easy for me to enter and stepped in lightly. As soon as I did, a mix of familiar scents of black tea and cedarwood welcomed me.
“My lady.”
As I was deeply inhaling the air, Ruth, who slowly took off his glasses that had slipped down his nose, called me softly. It was a plain voice without a hint of emotion, but I wasn’t hurt by it. I knew by now that there was no malice towards me from him.
I responded to his call with a smile in my eyes and sat down in my usual spot even before he could say anything.
Given Ruth’s personality, even though we had grown closer, he wouldn’t place ‘Serbia’—a symbol for something significantly confidential—within a visible range, so I had deliberately kept a proper distance.
Seeing my actions, Ruth momentarily tilted his head in confusion but soon burst into a soft, hearty laugh and sat down across from me.
“You seem to fit in quite well here now, young lady.”
“Of course. I’ve been living in the palace for over two months now. It’s been a long time since we were like oil and water, floating separately.”
“Indeed, you might be right.”
“Would you like a cup of tea?” Ruth glanced at me as he ordered a cup of black tea for Lilia.
I slowly shook my head as a sign of refusal. I only planned to briefly convey Helen’s invitation, the rumors circulating around us, and the matter regarding Duke Dright, then leave. Besides, Ruth was probably busy, and I didn’t want to waste his time unnecessarily.
Instead of insisting after my refusal, he acknowledged my decision with a nod, waited for Lilia to leave the office, and then started to speak.
“So, what’s the deal this time? At first glance, it seems you’re all worked up again, rendering our break from the trial of Duke Dright pointless.”
“Well, you could say that. But this time, things just rolled my way without much effort.”
“Really?”
“Yes. First off, I received an invitation to Lady Helen… that is, the Duchess of Abyss’s birthday party. According to the invitation, which requires bringing a partner, it seems the Duchess of Abyss wishes for His Highness to attend with me.”
I handed him the invitation, carefully unfolding it and subtly pointing with my index finger to the part that mentioned the necessity of bringing a partner.
Ruth’s brow furrowed as he quickly scanned the invitation, but soon smoothed out.
“Quite bold.”
“That’s what makes her even more attractive.”
“I’m not sure about attractive, but I do recognize the audacity. Nevertheless, we need the Duchess of Abyss as a card in our hand, so we have no choice but to attend this party.”
“Do you have the time? If not, I could go alone…”
“Attend a party that requires bringing a partner, by yourself?”
“…Well, then, maybe I’ll go with Ian…”
“Lady.”
As Ian pondered in his mind when the day of the ball would be, Ruth took a sip of the tea Lilia had brought and said,
“Usually, a partner mentioned at such a ball refers to a lover.”
“I know that, but His Majesty’s matters come first. Besides, since Lady Abyss, the organizer of the ball, doesn’t have a lover either, she’ll be attending alone.”
“But ignoring the conditions set by the ball’s host might not spare you from negative views.
Besides, the idea of sending the lady alone makes me uneasy.”
“Pardon?”
“I’m talking about that scar on your wrist. Wasn’t it from the ball held at Duke Dright’s residence?”
“Uh…”
I blankly stared at Ruth, who was bringing up the past incident. I was quite shocked because I hadn’t realized he remembered that incident. No, I never even thought that he would care if he had seen my wound.
…Happy.
Why am I so pleased over something so trivial? A small concern like this stirred joy in my heart, as if it’s his way of showing he’s always been there.
As I stood there, awkwardly moving only my lips like a fool, Ruth slightly lifted one corner of his mouth and moistened his lips with black tea.
“Let’s attend the banquet together, then. And while we’re at it, it might be good to discuss cooperation with Lady Abyss of the Duke’s family.”
“……”
“Well, is that all you came for?”
“Ah, no. There’s actually something else. I think I found a maid who is spreading rumors related to us.”
“Hmm?”
As I belatedly regained a sense of reality and stuttered out each word, Ruth’s eyebrows crossed. Then, gently stroking his smooth chin with hir finger, he spoke in a suddenly somber tone.
“I was vaguely aware that malicious rumors targeting Lady and me were circulating, but I never dreamed they had spread far enough to reach Lady’s ears.”
“……You didn’t know? I thought you knew but pretended not to hear on purpose. That’s why I hesitated a bit about whether to bring it up or not.”
“As if I would do such a thing. Lady, what I hate the most are those who cause harm to others solely for their own benefit. So, if something like this happens again, come to me first. Don’t try to handle it on your own with such distress.”
“Ah, I had no idea you felt that way. But really, I’m fine on my own, and I haven’t been too stressed, so you don’t need to worry about me.”
“Haah…”
Ruth immediately let out a sigh upon hearing my carefully chosen reply, and with an annoyed gesture, he briskly swept his dazzling platinum hair aside.
Watching him, I didn’t shrink back or show any change in expression, merely sitting still. Everything about him was exactly as I had expected.
Initially, understanding how busy Ruth was, better than anyone, I wanted to handle such matters myself to be of help to him. Moreover, I thought he wouldn’t be too concerned about such issues.
No matter how viciously rumors spread, if Ruth stopped paying them any mind, they’d die down soon enough. Until now, I believed that suffering for ‘Serbia’ alone would bring happiness to everyone.
But recently, my thoughts began to change. Can the happiness achieved through my sacrifice indeed be called happiness? And, is the misfortune that arises from my greed entirely my fault? Amidst these growing doubts, I eventually stopped retreating and confronted both the maids and the reality of the rumors surrounding me.
And the result was,
“I’ve said it time and again. You can afford to be a bit more selfish. All of this is your right. Using me under unfortunate circumstances as per your agreement with me, and even offloading problems you can’t handle alone onto me. All of it is your right. The right I’ve given you.”
It was successful. It felt refreshing. To the point where I wondered why I hadn’t lived like this before.
Listening again to the words of Ruth that changed me, I stretched my lips out to the sides. Later, when it’s not Serbia anymore, the moment I stand before Ruth as myself, I swallow down the words I want to tell him.
Ruth, you are.
“Then…”
Make me unsatisfied with being myself.
“There is a request I would like to make to His Majesty with all due respect.”
Yet, make me believe that being myself is enough.
“Could you find the family behind a maid named Derena?”
Maybe that’s why I can’t help but love you.
“This matter is a matter of life and death for me, so I do not wish to delve any deeper into it.”
Perhaps, it was just fate to be this way.