“Do you mean His Majesty? Why all of a sudden?”
Ian showed a puzzled expression at my request, crossing his eyebrows as if he had no idea why he should assist Ruth at the noble meeting.
I hesitated, touching my chin as I saw Ian’s questioning eyes, expecting further explanation. Until now, it had been natural for him to help me, but this time the situation was a bit different.
Matters like amending imperial laws, which could significantly change the future, should be independently chosen by Ian, regardless of me. Whether to help or not. So, Selena, don’t be disappointed even if Ian shows a negative reaction here.
Murmuring to myself as if making a vow, I took a deep breath. Then, after enjoying the sensation of calm filling my chest, I slowly started the conversation.
“Um, it’s… I want to make some amendments to the imperial law.”
“Exactly how so?”
“Hmm. For starters, I want to change it so that women can also inherit a family name. And, I want to strengthen the rights of illegitimate children so their lives are no longer endangered, ensuring that children from the subjugated classes are protected.”
“…”
This was my personal thought, separate from what Helen had said.
I saw my sister, I saw the Countess Winter, and I saw children that became topics among nobles. I saw nobles pointing out issues with the imperial law, and leaders attempting to change those problems.
But how could I, being who I am, oppose the amendment of the Imperial Law. Instead of sincerely helping.
Of course, I’m not sure how Ian would think about this issue, but even if his perspective differs from mine by any chance, I must understand. Can I understand…?
My determination, which had been progressing well, suddenly wavered. My head tells me it’s okay not to push Ian, but my heart is shouting that I would be quite disappointed if Ian had a different opinion.
I deliberately ignored the worries wriggling in my heart and waited for Ian’s response, trying to keep my inner calm from letting frivolous thoughts take hold. It felt like an eternity.
Then, he finally spoke after deep thought.
“If that’s the case, I would have helped His Majesty even without your request. So, please don’t feel too self-conscious.”
“Really? That’s a relief.”
It was sincere, without a trace of falsehood.
A relief. Because Ian shares the same thoughts as I do.
While I secretly breathed a sigh of relief, Ian’s eyes softened. His smile was like seeing the buds around us blossom into a full bloom, creating an illusion of such.
“Yes. I was just surprised to hear His Majesty has such ambitions, that’s all.”
“Well, His Majesty does seem indifferent to everything.”
I remembered Ruth’s impassive face and nodded.
The Ruth I had observed until now rarely showed his emotions outwardly. The only exceptions were when he was coldly angry or when he let his guard down due to intoxication and revealed his true feelings.
Thus, he usually had a face so serene it lacked any hint of disturbance. And perhaps because of this, he often received comments suggesting he appeared indifferent to everything.
No sooner had I finished my thoughts than Ian shrugged his shoulders and corrected me.
“It seemed more like he didn’t have the luxury to care about such things. Almost as if he was always running from something.”
“Ah.”
Running? Ruth?
Perhaps because I had never felt that way, Ian’s perception felt strangely alien to me.
As I was feeling puzzled, Ian changed the topic.
“Anyway, that aside. Speaking of the hunting contest, sister.”
“Yes?”
“That…”
He hesitated for a few seconds, as if it was difficult to verbalize.
I glanced down after looking at Ian, who was lightly moving his pale lips.
Then, I saw his long fingers fidgeting like when he was younger. Capturing this scene, I couldn’t help but let out a faint laugh. Because Ian moving his fingers like that surely meant he wanted to ask me for something.
Let’s see. What Ian could possibly want to ask me related to the hunting contest is… Oh.
“Do you want to ask for a handkerchief by any chance?”
“How did you know?”
“There are things that are known.”
I asked in a tone mixed with laughter, without needing to ponder for long, and Ian’s eyes fluttered.
Then, I pulled up the corners of my already lifted lips even more and added, “Actually, I made a handkerchief last year knowing you would participate in the hunting contest. I was sorry I couldn’t give it to you then, but this worked out well.”
“Is that so?”
Ian’s face brightened upon hearing my story. He was like a child who received the toy they wanted from their parents, even before they had asked for it. Looking at him quietly feeling happy, I too felt joy spreading through me.
Last year, I forgot how busy Ian was with his family affairs and diligently made him a handkerchief. When I engraved his name and lavender flowers on the black handkerchief, the result was much more beautiful than expected, and I looked forward to the hunting contest with a fluttering heart.
However, Ian said that receiving business cooperation from a noble of a neighboring country was more important than participating in the hunting contest.
As a result, the handkerchief I had made with so much effort was relegated to being stashed deep inside a drawer before it even saw the light of day.
I was at a loss about what to do with it, but it was fortunate that Ian was participating in the hunting contest this time.
No, it was more than fortunate. I was happy. Finally, I could give him that handkerchief.
“Yes. Besides, I made it a black handkerchief so it would be okay even if it gets stained with blood. So, you must not only look at it but also use it. Understand?”
“How could I possibly use something made by you carelessly? I’ll tie it to my sword and keep it for life.”
“…Well, then. Do as you wish.”
I gave up trying to convince Ian, who was showing a strong will, and smiled. One way or another, the handkerchief belonged to Ian, so it was right for him to do as he wished.
Oh. Speaking of which, I think Lilia also asked me to make a handkerchief.
While talking about the hunting contest handkerchief with Ian, I suddenly remembered Lilia. At the same time, Lilia’s calm voice resonated in my ears.
“I’m okay. Just knowing you’ve made good use of my handkerchief is enough to make me happy.”
“But still……”
“If it still troubles your heart, could you gift me a handkerchief at the hunting contest held four months from now?”
Now, with only about a month left until the hunting contest, I need to hurry and make the handkerchief for Lilia.
As I organized my thoughts and clenched my empty hands, it was then Ian glanced at the wall clock and, with a regretful smile, started to put back on the leather gloves he had placed on the table.
“It’s already been an hour. I should be going now. I have a meeting soon with the Hedwin firm.”
“Ah, I see. Then you better hurry, Ian.”
“Yes. Take care, sister. And……”
His gaze deepened as he looked at me motioning for him to go quickly, suggesting he shouldn’t linger.
That gaze held neither sadness, happiness, nor even anger – only an inexplicable sense of relief.
“I’m glad to see you can stand on your own now.”
“Hm?”
“I mean, you look good. Enviously good.”
“……”
Unable to understand what he was talking about and scrunching my nose, Ian let out a hearty laugh and gently tapped my cheeks. As he rose from his seat, he took my hand.
“I’m glad you’re getting better, sister.”
Really. Adding a softer tail to his words, he left the reception room before I could even ask a question.
Ian’s retreating figure looked so refreshingly bright that I couldn’t bring myself to stop him. Instead, with a defeated expression, I murmured softly,
“Ian. You’re outshining everyone in your recovery.”
A caterpillar eventually becomes a pupa, and a pupa eventually becomes a butterfly. It’s an unwritten law of this world and an unchanging fact.
Therefore, the children who were once submerged in indelible stains will also advance someday. Escaping from a long darkness, they chase a ray of sunlight that shines upon them.
“It’s splendid.”
They are finally becoming adults.
***
Ian had left, and when the warmth in the living room started to fade, I too left the living room.
Then, I slowly walked around, looking at the maids who were diligently cleaning.
I knew very well that somewhere here there were people after my life, but I wanted to enjoy this moment of peace, if only briefly.
For that reason, a distance that would have originally taken only 10 minutes took 30 minutes instead, as I intentionally took the long way around.
Maybe it’s time to head to the bedroom. Isabella must be waiting. Not long after, when I belatedly thought of Isabella, I stopped for a moment and then shook my head.
Isabella, instead of worrying about my late arrival, must have gone to help her friends with their troubles.
Therefore, there was no need to return early just for her. Let’s stay a little longer before heading back. I turned my steps away from the bedroom and walked back the way I came.
But I hadn’t taken many steps before I stopped again.
“Oh?”
I opened my eyes wide in surprise at the person walking towards me from the opposite direction.
The pink-haired woman, who was yawning and walking at the pace of a tortoise, was none other than Lilia, her clothes in disarray as if she had stayed up all night, holding a pile of documents in her arms.
“Lil…!”
“Ah, isn’t it the lady?”
I was about to call out to Lilia first when suddenly, she lifted her chin and looked at me, then sketched a weary smile.
