“?”
Upon hearing the unexpected expression, my brows furrowed involuntarily.
Given the way he talked about “theater” it couldn’t possibly have a good connotation. And that raised questions.
Theater. To think of it as theater…
I pondered why Ruth would specifically use the term “theater” while rolling the familiar word around in my mouth. Soon, a fragmented piece of the past slowly surfaced.
“But since the lady is human, it’s impossible to fully understand what’s inside others based solely on appearance. At times, you might feel like you’re dealing with a clown who hides true feelings behind laughter.”
“…Then what should I do in those situations?”
“Well, in those times, you just need to become a clown yourself, my lady.”
Ah.
The sigh escaped me as soon as I recalled the conversation with Countess Sirael from our second lesson. It was a sigh born from an unforeseen realization.
Now that I looked at it, the “clown” mentioned by Countess Sirael bore a striking, even identical, resonance with the “theater” Ruth spoke of.
What did Countess Sirael say afterward? Knowing that would likely help me understand why Ruth would compare a noble gathering to theater.
I swallowed my saliva and tapped my soft lips softly with my index finger, a habit that involuntarily surfaced.
After pondering for a while and stealthily glancing at Ruth, the moment our eyes met, he gently smiled at me. It seemed that he was waiting without saying much, as if he intended to give me some time to think from the start.
Feeling somewhat relieved by this, I pondered a bit more and eventually took a quick breath.
“If you look at the actions of the past empresses, there are countless words that can fill the gaps: hypocrisy, sacrifice, kindness, deceit, weakness, and so on. This means, my lady, that you also have many options available to you.”
“……!”
“Choose wisely whom to keep by your side and whom to dismiss, my lady. More precisely, decide whose objectives you will tolerate.”
…I remembered.
“So, at the noble council, does everyone hide their own agendas while tolerating each other’s objectives, leading the situation as they wish?”
“I knew you would guess, but I didn’t imagine you’d do it so quickly. Yes, that’s right. In the noble council, everyone wears a mask and plays a part to achieve their own goals.”
As I spoke the conclusion I had reached after much thought, Ruth’s laughter grew. It seemed he was quite pleased that his expectations of me had not been disappointed.
I was so tense from his positive reaction that I relaxed the tight muscles in my stomach.
The reason I could understand that Ruth described the noble council as a play was all thanks to Countess Sirael. Precisely, because she depicted the jester as someone who hid his own intentions while tolerating those of others.
I was calculating when I would meet the Countess of Sirael again as I gave all the credit to her. Ruth, who was fiddling with his cufflinks, continued to speak.
“So, that’s why I chose the noble council. Because people are most easily deceived when they think they are deceiving others.”
“What?”
“Well, you know…….”
People are easily deceived when they think they are deceiving someone else?
As I looked puzzled by the seemingly contradictory statement, Ruth hesitated for a moment before opening his mouth.
“It’s like looking in a mirror. When we look directly at a mirror, we see only our front. But we often think we’ve seen our whole appearance just from the front.”
“That’s true.”
“But what we often overlook each time is that we have more than just our frontal appearance. There’s also our back, our sides. And this means that just by seeing our front, it doesn’t mean we’ve confirmed our ‘appearance’.”
What Ruth meant was clear. What we consider our appearance when looking in a mirror is not actually our ‘appearance.’
Feeling my heart race as if struck by lightning at this new perspective of seeing the world, I raised one eyebrow.
But why is he saying this now? Weren’t we talking about the noble council?
While I was chewing over the questions that led to more questions, Ruth crossed her long legs and chin-tucked.
“The reason this phenomenon occurs is simple. Since we humans can’t see every situation omnisciently, we end up being subjective.”
“……”
“Being subjective makes us focus only on what we can see.”
So that was why.
Right after hearing his added explanation, my eyes widened involuntarily. I felt as though I could finally understand why Ruth used us looking in a mirror as an example.
Seeing my confusion clear, Ruth shrugged his shoulders lightly.
“Deceiving people is the same. When we think we’re deceiving others, we don’t have the leisure to look around. That makes us more susceptible to being deceived.”
“Indeed. Then, how do you plan to arrange the board?”
After I nodded and asked, he was silent for a moment before let out a breath.
“We’ll have to start with the case of capturing the Young Duke Dright. So when people’s attention turns to the Dright family’s succession fight, I intend to mention that the Dright family now only has a second son left, and then amend the law to allow women to become heirs as well.”
Of course, that’s just the beginning, and this opportunity will also be used to amend laws related to illegitimate children and children from the subjugated class.
Ruth added this at the end of his sentence with a smile tugging at his lips.
I pondered Ruth’s plan, visualizing a blueprint in my mind, and sighed aspiringly. It was indeed a good strategy. It was the only way to achieve what we wanted without being too obvious.
But that was precisely why I hesitated.
“How do you think people will react to changing the law?”
“Of course, they won’t like it.”
Ruth, understanding the issue I cautiously raised without much trouble, slowly lifted his eyelids. Then, he gently swept his neat lips and slightly curved his eyes into a crescent.
“But if the Obelton, Dright, and Abyss families agree, it’s not entirely impossible. Plus, the Hazel family might be helpful if things go well.”
That’s right, of course. The four great ducal families.
I then remembered that our agreement was aimed at securing the support of the four great ducal families. And that we have been successfully fulfilling the contract so far.
As he argued, if we have the support of the four great ducal families, there won’t be much trouble in amending the law. Not only that, but it’s also likely to succeed in drawing the attention of the council of elders.
But even if we consider the Obelton, Dright, and Hazel families, isn’t the Abyss family not yet on board? No matter how much Helen has expressed a desire to cooperate with us…!
My train of thought abruptly stopped there. It was because I belatedly realized why Ruth included the Abyss family in his plan.
When I looked at him with trembling eyes, Ruth approached me, bending at the waist.
“You said last time, didn’t you? That if the enemy woman of the Abyss family helps herself become the head of the Abyss family, she would cooperate with us.”
“…Yes.”
“If it’s okay with you, I would like to accept that offer.”
What would Ruth do if I said I still feel uneasy about joining hands with Helen?
I indulged in pointless imaginings and twisted my face with great effort, producing a forced smile.
For Ruth, the card named Helen is currently more important than Serbia. Therefore, it was crystal clear which card he would discard should friction arise between the two.
Moreover, I had already decided a few days ago to accept Helen’s proposition, not wanting my personal feelings to make Ruth’s path more difficult.
Once my thoughts were organized, it was easy to feign agreement.
“I think that would be good, too.”
“I’m glad we agree. If the enemy woman of the Abyss family helps us, things will go much smoother. We can simply have her stand in for the Duke of Abyss, who is ill, at the noble council.”
Just as I was about to agree, my vision suddenly became blurry as if I would have staggered greatly had I been standing.
Why is this happening all of a sudden?
Just as I was beginning to doubt the strange phenomenon that appeared to me, Ruth weakly grabbed my shoulder.
“Milady?”
“Oh, yes.”
“Are you in pain?”
“No, it’s not that, I just feel a bit dizzy.”
Thanks to him, I quickly regained my sense of reality and staggered at a slow pace. It was to avoid causing him unnecessary worry.
However, my effort was in vain as Ruth instantly hardened his expression and murmured softly,
“My, it seems I’ve kept you with me for too long. Especially when you were already struggling.”
“It’s not that hard…”
“If you make such a face and say it’s not hard, no one will believe you, milady. It seems you must first learn how to lie.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“Of course, it’s a compliment. It’s quite something for someone who stays in the palace to not be good at lying.”
Though it was unclear where the compliment was, I decided not to ask.
He smiled, pleased that I had accepted it, and brushed back his platinum blonde hair with a gesture.
“Anyway, let’s go and rest now.”
“Yes. I’ll get up now. Have a nice day.”
“You too.”
After receiving his brief reply, I responded with a nod and then, for some reason, dragged my heavy body out of Ruth’s office.
“……”
Why do I keep feeling the urge to collapse while walking down the corridor that has somehow turned orange?
***
As Ruth said, whether I was in bad shape or not, as soon as I returned to the bedroom, I collapsed onto the bed. And when I opened my eyes after a while, a day had already passed, and it was the day I was supposed to meet Ian.
