After I managed to gather the emotions welling up inside me in his arms, Ruth took me to his office, saying we should talk for a bit. Judging by his stern face, it seemed he was determined to dig into whatever had happened in the library.
All the way to the office, I kept an eye on Ruth while pressing down on my burning eyes with the back of my hand. After actually crying, a belated sense of embarrassment crept up on me.
Soon after arriving at the office, Ruth gestured towards the sofa as I stood there awkwardly rolling my eyeballs.
“Sit down.”
“Ah, yes.”
Seeing me quickly take a seat, Ruth chuckled softly and sat down opposite me. Then, tapping the armrest of the sofa with his index finger, he began to speak.
“As for the tea…”
“It’s alright, I’m not thirsty.”
“I thought you’d be thirsty after crying so much. Well, alright then. Let’s get straight to the point.”
He turned the subject, gleaming his meaningful violet pupils at me for outright refusing the tea.
“First off, I won’t ask about what happened in the library. I believe you had your own reasons.”
“…You can ask, if you want.”
“Hmm?”
My response seemed unexpected, crossing Ruth’s eyebrows.
Watching his expressive face change, I curved my lips into a circle.
At first, I didn’t want to tell Ruth that someone was out to take my life. The reason being, he had many other things to care about besides my affairs.
However, after crying my eyes out, my thoughts changed. This matter concerned my very life, and it was too hard for me to endure alone. Thus, before I was completely shattered beyond repair, I wanted to seek Ruth’s help, provided he was willing.
Moreover, listening to the woman and man’s conversation, it seemed like the reason they were targeting me was also related to Ruth.
I recalled the words the woman had spoken, clenched my hand, then released it. After ensuring the raw sensations that throbbed within me had calmed down, I broached the subject.
“Today, at the royal library, I accidentally found out that someone is after my life.”
“What?”
Ruth, having heard my first sentence filled with grave reality, questioned back with a cool, hardened face. A faint but clear anger was present in his voice.
Gazing at him, I calmly raised the corners of my lips even more.
“There seems to be someone who wants to dispose of me. From what I gathered, they’ve been planning this for more than a day or two, as they even said to keep an eye on me without raising my suspicion.”
“Miss, wait a moment.”
“Ah. The person who issued the command was a middle-aged man, but I’m not sure because I only heard his voice. And the one who received the order from him was a maid with reddish-brown hair… The distinctive thing about the maid was the strong scent of flowers coming from her…”
“My lady.”
Ignored by Ruth’ call, I continue to speak, and he responded with a deeper, darker tone.
Barely coming to my senses, I took a deep, quiet breath. As my lungs filled with air, the subtle trembling I hadn’t been aware of gradually ceased.
Ruth, who had been silently watching me, eventually donned a tender smile, brushed back his platinum blonde hair covering his forehead, and asked.
“So, was that why you were crying so sorrowfully?”
“…”
I refused to respond to him. In truth, I couldn’t. I was too preoccupied with trying to control the flood of emotions that had overwhelmed me in an instant.
Then, at some point, a self-deprecating chuckle escaped me. What’s the use now? Since I’ve admitted that I love Ruth, it’s only natural that I can’t stop being irresistably drawn to him.
It’s the law of nature.
It was around the time I stopped tightening the grip on myself. Ruth, silent as if lost in shallow thoughts, was fidgeting with his chin.
“Do you remember what I told you when we went out?”
“When we went out?”
“Yes. Precisely, before we went out to the casino.”
Before we went to the casino…
I followed his explanation and tried to recall. Soon enough, a not so old memory settled in my mind.
“Listen carefully, young lady. I will tell you the rules you must follow from now until our outing ends, or rather, while you are fulfilling our contract.”
“Rules?”
“Yes.”
The three rules that Ruth laid out for me, who was impulsive to act.
“First, do not act on your own. Always discuss with me before you do anything.”
One, to communicate.
“Second, if something happens, come to me first.”
Two, to ask for help.
“And lastly, the third, do not die.”
Three, not to die.
Chewing the inside of my cheek, I reminisced about the advices he gave me that day. It was a way to avoid crossing the line given to me as a ‘Serbia’.
Seeing me put in such effort, Ruth spoke with a refreshed tone.
“I did say that, didn’t I? Always talk to me before doing anything, come to me first if something happens, and don’t die.”
“Yes.”
“So why did you try to handle everything by yourself? Even when your life was hanging by a thread.”
“….”
“You can rely on others. You have the right to. If it’s hard, say it’s hard; if you’re sad, whine about it. That way, you won’t fester inside.”
To whine. That I have the right. Me, a ‘Serbia’?
Suddenly, Ruth and I seemed terribly far apart.
Though in reality, we were close enough to touch if I just reached out my arm.
Why is that? Where does this emptiness stem from? From loving Ruth but having to be a ‘Serbia’? Or, or…
My thoughts didn’t go further.
“So, what I wanted to say is, the young lady won’t die. Because I won’t just leave her to.”
“Why?”
As if it was any other day, I could have simply laughed off Ruth’s assertion. My question to him had come from a simple impulse.
In a word, it was instinct.
To find his cracks.
Something in my subconscious whispered to me.
To find his cracks and, like earlier at the library, to choke his breath. If not, you will fall apart. You will be swept away by the overflowing river and disappear.
It was a naive voice. At the same time, it was a voice not unfamiliar to me.
Just before I could discern the identity of this whispering, Ruth replied.
“Hmm. Let’s say it’s because of the contract for now.”
“‘For now’?”
“Yes. Actually, I don’t really know myself. Why I’m doing this. Why I keep…”
Ruth spoke in a vague manner then stared intently into my eyes.
His eyes, which always reminded me of violets, somehow resembled the dawn at this moment.
For a while, he maintained this position and then, as if making a witty joke, he let out a slight chuckle.
“…Why I’m bothered by your eyes. I don’t know, me too. So, I wish someone would give me a clear answer.”
“!”
“Don’t worry. It’ll soon be like a passing interest. There won’t be anything that’ll make you uncomfortable.”
I witnessed my heart pounding fiercely only to die instantly, and I swallowed the bitterness. Just swallowed it down.
Predicting the future was paradoxical, but it seemed possible for Ruth. He would indifferently cut off any personal feelings that sprouted in his heart to keep his arrogant promise of not making me uncomfortable.
The Ruth I knew was like that. Unlike me, who was matchlessly foolish.
I couldn’t figure out whether I should be sad or happy about something, so I just moved my lips.
Ruth, misunderstanding my reaction negatively, skillfully changed the subject.
“Oh dear. I’ve talked too much about trivial matters. Anyway, so, the reason a maid with thick auburn hair emitting a strong scent of flowers is targeting you is because she’s the pawn of someone against you?”
“Uh, yes, that’s right.”
It was only after he reset the conversation back to the beginning that I could escape from the abyss.
Ah.
Regaining my rationality, I let out a soft sigh.
Despite doing well until now, I kept making meaningless mistakes, perhaps because too much was thrown at me at once.
“Understood. I’ll look into it. If she’s within this palace, it won’t take long.”
“Thank you for caring.”
“It’s nothing much.”
As I expressed my gratitude, Ruth shrugged and raised his eyebrows.
“Right. Speaking of which, when I see you, there’s something I wanted to pass on.”
“Yes?”
“It’s been decided to arrest the Duke Dright in two days. We already have enough evidence, so there’s no need to delay any longer.”
“Ah, I see.”
So they are arresting Duke Dright before Duke Hazel. And in just two days.
I had guessed the former, but I didn’t know the latter would be this soon. I was expecting it to take at least two weeks.
I internally agreed with Ruth’s decision and asked.
“Then, what are the charges against Duke Dright?”
“There are too many to list, but to mention the most significant, it would probably be murder.”
“Just as we expected.”
“We? That was entirely your idea.”
Ruth playfully corrected my muttering as if to make sure I knew that half of our achievements were thanks to me. My eyes curved into crescent moons at his quiet consideration.
“So, the Young Duke Dright will definitely be sentenced to prison, right? No matter how much money he has, he can’t cover up a murder.”
“Right. Even though he is from one of the four great ducal families, he won’t be executed, but,”
Ruth’s mouth twisted sarcastically as he talked about the expected fate of the Young Duke Dright. His expression was like that of a mischievous scamp, but it seemed as if there was a well-sharpened sword hidden within.
“It looks like he’ll be getting life imprisonment.”
