After arranging to meet Ian at the royal palace three days later, I practically lived in the royal library. I needed a break from all the hard work I had been doing until then, and I wanted to take some time, even just a few days, to calm my troubled heart and regain some composure.
However, no matter how much I tried to focus on the books, remnants of the realization I had that day remained, haunting the back of my mind like a ghost, suddenly emerging at times to choke me, then disappearing again just when I felt like the letters on the pages were starting to dance.
As a result, it took me two to three times longer than usual to finish a single book. The content I force-fed my eyes would just as easily leak out.
And so, day after day passed.
“…Thus, the oligarchic politics of the Molotonian Empire came to an end.”
I whispered the conclusion of the book, softly running my fingers over it. The touch felt unexpectedly novel.
Staying in that state for awhile, I eventually came to my senses and closed the book with a slap. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. Maybe because a day had passed, I was fine while reading, but as soon as I finished a book, I felt as disconnected from reality as a wind-up doll that had run down.
Here we go again.
I brushed the hair that had fallen over my shoulders back and let out a sigh. Reading, which I had started hoping for good results, had instead backfired.
“Should I give up.”
I muttered as I glanced at the pile of books I had set aside to read today. They still looked like a mountain, and at this rate, it was clear I wouldn’t be able to finish them all in one day.
After a brief hesitation, I decided to leave the rest for later and got up from the sofa. The sofa was positioned near a small window, and despite that, it was in a spot that received a particularly good amount of sunlight, as the lazy sunbeams were still sneaking in.
I carried one or two books at a time, moving around between the bookshelves to put the books back in their original places. Thanks to not having forgotten where most of them belonged, organizing the books went smoothly.
Except for the last book I had been reading.
“Where was this one?”
As I walked, trying to recall through my hazy memory, I suddenly heard a quiet voice from somewhere.
“…done it.”
“Hm?”
I stopped walking and looked firmly in the direction from where the woman’s voice seemed to be coming.
The tone sounded like she was having a conversation, and I was about to ignore it, but I found it odd that someone would be talking in a secluded part of the library. I suddenly had a feeling that it was something I shouldn’t just ignore. It was an indescribable pull.
After a moment of hesitation, I made as little noise as possible and headed towards where the sound was coming from. Then, leaving just one bookshelf between us, I stopped and sneakily checked beyond the bookshelf.
“!”
There was a maid with auburn hair that I had seen in the hallway a few days ago. She was holding a tiny glass bead that seemed to be a communication device. From the looks of it, she was apparently communicating with someone through that device.
I quickly covered my mouth that had opened unwittingly and leaned back against the bookshelf, anxious that the loud beating of my heart might somehow reach the maid.
The scent of flowers… Now that I think about it, there was a floral scent coming from the maid.
I carefully monitored the maid’s every move, thinking back to that day. To be precise, I was watching a woman who was pretending to be a maid. The strong scent of flowers and the communication device proved that this woman was no ordinary maid.
As I was guessing the identity of the woman, she spoke in a smooth voice.
“Anyway, the rumor has been successfully spread. By now, the maids must be viewing that person negatively.”
…Rumor?
It was a familiar word and irked me even more because another of my headaches was ‘related’ to a rumor. If by any chance what the woman was talking about was ‘that rumor’…
I suppressed the growing confusion and continued to listen to the woman’s story. It was an unfounded confidence, but it seemed like one of the mysteries that had remained unsolved might be unraveled through her.
“Is the compensation still the same? If not, I would like to quit now.”
-Haven’t you already missed your chance to quit? Anyway, don’t worry. The compensation will be paid as agreed.
“Understood. Then, I will continue to manipulate public opinion among the maids.”
-Good. You’re doing a lot of work. Keep it up like this.
Compensation. Public opinion. Manipulation.
These words, seemingly unrelated yet tightly intertwined, gnawed at my nerves as the conversation among the maids unfolded.
While my mind was preoccupied with this, a grave voice came through the communication device held by the woman once again.
-Keep a close watch on Lady Obelton. Make sure she doesn’t notice anything until she is dealt with. Make her believe that the world she knows is all there is, understand?
“Understood.”
“……!”
At the moment he mentioned “Lady Obelton,” a stone fell from above with a thud. It didn’t take long to realize that what seemed to be endlessly falling was not a stone, but my heart.
I felt my blood run cold, nearly vomiting, but I held it back. Vomiting on impulse would reveal my existence to the woman in an instant.
Clearly, the instruction was to keep a close watch on Lady Obelton without letting her notice anything until she was dealt with.
As my body trembled, I mulled over the words the man had said. The “Lady of Obelton” he referred to must indeed be me. It could only be me.
So, it means he’s instructing a woman disguised as a palace maid to manipulate public opinion amongst the maids, and to keep a close watch on me without my noticing.
The implication must be that they plan to kill me. But why? Did I ever wrong someone to warrant such hatred?
Lost in thought, I felt as if thousands of bugs were crawling on my skin, a sensation that didn’t fade no matter how much I tried to shake it off, the bugs stubbornly clinging on.
While I was struggling to calm my unpleasant feelings, I heard the woman making noises and then cutting off the transmission. I also noticed her checking her appearance before she left with light steps.
“Sigh.”
It was only after the nauseating floral scent she emitted had disappeared from the surroundings that I finally lowered the hand covering my mouth. My trembling hand still bore the lingering scent left by the red-haired woman.
After zoning out for a while, I belatedly returned to reality and collapsed onto the floor. I couldn’t stand properly due to my legs giving way, and I wanted nothing more than to hide in a mouse hole to escape the gaze of others.
Someone here intends to kill me. Perhaps the reality I know is a world fabricated by someone else.
So, is the situation I’m in now real? Or is it a play disguised as reality? And if this is indeed a cunningly devised play, am I a jester? The jester of jesters?
I tensed my body tightly. The castle of sand collapsed in an instant under the crashing wave. My already chaotic heart now screamed out.
“Shh.”
The more I reached out with my thoughts, the deeper my senses sank into the abyss, until the moment when the ground soaked with indelible blood unfolded before my eyes. It was then, a sudden appearance of white gloves pulled me out of the darkness in a breath.
“My lady.”
“…Your Majesty.”
The figure in front of me, whom I looked at with a shaky gaze, was Ruth with a worried expression.
Kneeling on one knee to meet my eye level, he placed his hand over the back of mine.
“Is something the matter? Your complexion is…!”
Before Ruth could finish his question, I hugged him without a second thought. I felt like I needed to wash off the filth clinging to me with his cedarwood scent to survive.
Surprised by my sudden embrace, Ruth froze for a few seconds, then let out a chuckle and slowly reached out to pat my back as if to reassure me that everything will be alright since he’s here.
“I don’t know what happened, but take a rest, my lady. It’s safe here, no one else is around.”
“…….”
I found myself tearing up at the sight of him comforting me without asking for any reasons. My nose tingled, signaling that tears were on the brink of falling.
Normally, ‘Serbia’ wouldn’t easily show tears and would have held back. However, I couldn’t do so at this moment. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t hold them in.
“Sob.”
Finally, the tears burst out. I cried so much that it seemed like my tear ducts were broken, drenching Ruth’s shirt with my tears. By the time my crying ceased, the warmth from his embrace was more comforting than my tears, which made me start sobbing all over again.
I love you. I’m sorry. Help me. I like you. Save me. There were many words swirling in my mouth, but what actually came out was something else.
“Please say you’ll stay by my side.”
“I’ve always been right here.”
“Tell me I’m not alone.”
“That’s why you’re not alone.”
“Tell me you don’t love me.”
“…”
Ruth had been responding to my murmuring complaints, but his words stopped when I asked him to say he didn’t love me, even though it should have been the easiest thing for him to agree to.
At that, I hugged Ruth tighter. Somehow, I wanted to confirm that at this moment, he didn’t love ‘Serbia,’ but was in love with ‘that child’.
Wondering if he had seen right through me, Ruth slowly moved her hand again.
“Yes, I do.”
Her voice was deeper and muffled.
“I do not love you.”
A perfect sentence formed. It was exactly what I had wished for.
What kind of expression was Ruth wearing as he gave this reply? A satisfied grin? An annoyed look? Or perhaps an irritated face? I considered all the possibilities and frowned, smiling ruefully.
No matter what expression he had, I felt it was good that I hadn’t seen it.
