To You Who Will Kill Me

Chapter 002

I’d known for a while that my father had a mistress while my mother was pregnant with me.

But nobody ever told me that my mother went into premature labor after seeing Noah Ashford—the mistress’s one-year-old son.

Apparently, my mother thought Noah, who looked just like his mother, was my father’s son.

The shock caused her to give birth at just eight months. That child was born with weak lungs and heart, often sick, and was told it wouldn’t live long.

That child was me.

“He wasn’t even my Father’s son…”

The moment I opened my eyes after traveling back in time, I had to take a deep breath. All this pain—my frail body—it’s all because of Noah Ashford and his wretched mother.

And in the end, Noah Ashford killed me.

***

“How dare he…”

How dare you kill me? You, of all people!

My hands trembled. Rage coursed through my body, my face burning as if it might burst.

Because of Julia Ashford, I grew up without parents. 

My father abandoned us for his mistress, and my mother fell ill from heartbreak and passed away.

That boy was not only the son of my enemy, but also the reason my body, my family, and my life were ruined.

“Haah… Ugh.”

I couldn’t breathe. I clutched at my chest, gasping and wheezing, as I grabbed Scott’s wrist. 

He pressed a pill against my lips. I chewed the bitter medicine without water, choking it down.

I wanted to live. I had to live.

If Noah Ashford had been there at the beginning of my life, then at least my death would be on my terms. So, I had to live.

So I needed to survive.

“Ugh… ngh!”

I’ll kill him.

“Ugh!”

I’ll kill him, no matter what. I won’t let him go.

“The medicines aren’t working,” Scott muttered.

He quickly retrieved a syringe from the drawer.

Breathing, something so simple and natural for others, felt impossibly hard for me. Was it because I was an unwanted child, rejected even by the world itself?

If that’s the case, then Noah Ashford and his mother owe me a heavy price for what they’ve done to my life.

“Ugh…”

“Callie, calm down. It’s okay. Damn it. If I knew you’d react like this, I wouldn’t have told you.”

I couldn’t calm down or be okay. But the sedative made everything possible. As Scott injected the sedative and muscle relaxant into my arm, my breathing gradually became easier. But that didn’t mean my heart was okay.

“You okay now?”

Scott was used to dealing with my episodes; his response was calm and steady. But his face betrayed the concern he couldn’t hide. Gasping for air, I spat out my anger.

“Why are you only telling me this now?”

“You okay?” Scott repeated.

“I asked why you’re only telling me now! You should have said something! Even if everyone else kept it from me, you could’ve at least dropped a hint! Why’d you let me be such a clueless idiot? A puppet!”

“Don’t get worked up. I don’t want to give you another injection.”

“Scott!”

“Scarlett.”

Unlike me, Scott stayed calm, his composure contagious. My erratic breathing started to stabilize.

It was probably more due to the drugs kicking in, but I decided to welcome the coolness clearing my head.

In a voice that had softened just a little, I asked, “…She’s dying?”

“Yeah.”

“And her son?”

“That’s not something you need to worry about. Do you resent her?”

“Do I have a reason not to resent her?”

“Your father—”

“Don’t. I don’t have a father.”

Did I even have a memory of him? Was there ever a time he held any place in my heart other than bitterness?

“Who else knows?”

“No one knows she’s dying.”

My eyes fell on Scott’s expensive cufflinks. They were a gift from my second older brother, Aaron, who liked to show off his wealth, and they were given to the family on his birthday as a token of thanks. They were decorated with diamonds.

That was the kind of family I came from—a house dripping with wealth and affection, exaggerated at every turn.

But my father was never part of it. Not once.

“Find her son.”

“That’s not easy.”

“Why not?”

“He disappeared. One day, he just vanished like smoke. I’ve looked everywhere.”

Scott shrugged as if to end the conversation and reached out to ruffle my hair.

“Don’t make me regret telling you the truth.”

“I don’t mind being treated like a greenhouse flower, but I don’t want to be a dumb puppet who knows nothing.”

“What’s the difference?”

“A flower chooses to stay in the greenhouse for its safety. A puppet has no choice, controlled entirely by its master. If you hadn’t told me the truth, I’d have died resenting you.”

Scott pondered the difference between a flower and a puppet, but then he laughed and replied.

“Fine. If you want to be a flower, so be it. We’ll handle the dirty work. Just say the word.”

I spend every night trapped in the curse of that day, and now you’re telling me he’s missing?

I want to find that man and make him feel the same pain Isaac and I endured. 

Only then will it be fair. Only then will justice be served. I deserve revenge. He deserves to be hurt, just like I did.

“That man…” 

Noah Ashford’s violet eyes flashed in my mind.

The memory made my arms itch where large and small shards of glass had pierced. A shiver ran down my spine, from my shoulders to my legs.

Even now, he terrifies me.

“Get me information on Noah Ashford. And I need surveillance reports on him. Whether he’s running or hiding, if he’s dying, he’ll show his face. He’s human, after all.”

“What are you planning to do?”

Will he show herself? He might not even be human.

“I’m going to see that woman.”

Scott frowned, but I ignored it and continued.

“Before she dies, I want to ask her something. How sweet was her affair with a married man?”

“If Susan finds out, I’m dead.”

Scott rubbed his face with his hands, letting out a sigh.

“Did you think I’d just walk up to her, smile, and say, ‘I forgive you because I’m as kindhearted as a storybook heroine’? No. She needs to pay for what she’s done. Groveling at my feet before she dies wouldn’t even begin to cover it. She deserves to rot on her deathbed. Maybe you’ve all forgiven her, but I haven’t. This is just the beginning!”

“Fine. You’ve got a point. I’ll get you the information by tomorrow. Whatever you’re planning, just promise me you won’t overdo it.”

I didn’t reply, just smiled faintly.

I’d died before I could turn nineteen.

I already knew how my story ended—no matter what path I took, death waited for me.

That’s why I had nothing to lose.

***

After Scott left, lawyer Mr. Smith arrived as scheduled.

“It’s been a while,” I said.

He adjusted his glasses, looking a little puzzled.

That’s when I realized he didn’t remember me. The last time I’d met him was before my murder, when I was bedridden.

“I must’ve been mistaken. Anyway, this is the will I drafted with Mr. Johnson when I was fourteen. Unfortunately, he passed away in that train accident before me.”

“Is there anything you want to change?”

“Yes.”

In truth, money meant nothing to my family. The White family was wealthy and powerful, generation after generation.

If my inheritance was a bucket of water, my siblings’ fortunes were deep lakes.

“I inherited my share of the estate when I became an adult a few months ago. I’d like to use it to establish a scholarship foundation. Please allocate all of my inheritance to it.”  

I continued speaking as I watched Mr. Smith jot down my instructions.

“I also have quite a lot of properties, cash, bonds, and stocks. If…”

I closed my eyes, a grim future flashing through my mind. This had nothing to do with the murderer, Noah Ashford.

When I opened them again, I saw Mr. Smith looking at me with a puzzled expression. I lowered my voice.

“Let’s keep this between us. Can you swear to that?”

“Of course. You have my word. I swear before God.”

“If my niece Abigail becomes physically disabled… I mean, if she develops a serious condition.”

A dull pain throbbed in my head.

Abigail, my eldest brother John’s only daughter, had suffered from a severe fever before. It left her with a limp and caused her to lose her eyesight. The fever had even spread to me, and I’d barely made it through.

I had to prevent Abigail’s eyesight from deteriorating further.

“Especially if she has problems with her eyes… Natalia’s ethics in medical magic are low. I’ve already requested research from the mages at the tower there. If I die, they’ll preserve my eyes. Once Natalia’s transplant magic research is complete, they can transplant my eyes. Since we’re family, there should be less risk of rejection. And I’ll cover all the surgery costs.”

 

Smith’s face twisted. The idea of eye transplants seemed to disgust him, and he shivered, trying to hide his pity with a cough.

“As for the inheritance related to shipping and construction, I’ll leave those to Isaac. And since Susan doesn’t have any vacation homes, I’ll leave all my villas to Isaac as well.”

Just then, I heard familiar footsteps outside the door.

I whispered to Mr. Smith to quickly hide the documents and sprang to my feet just as the door opened.

“Croissant!”

I ran over to greet my “croissant”—my dear Isaac—scooping him up into my arms.  

No matter how often I saw him, my loveable nephew always made me feel overjoyed. My sweet, precious little one.

I held his small body tightly against me, resting him on my hip. His warmth and delicate frame gave me comfort once again. I was so glad I’d been able to turn back time.

While my own death was inevitable, Isaac’s death was something I absolutely had to change.

“Croissant, didn’t you miss your auntie?”

I planted a kiss on Isaac’s curly red hair. He giggled and snuggled closer to me.

“Was school fun? Playing with me is better though, right?”

“Auntie! Stop calling me Croissant!”

“Then what should I call you? Apple pie?”

“Auntieee!”

Looking at my beloved nephew, I became more certain than ever: I had to kill that man.

Isaac’s mother, Susan, entered the room shortly after, her pace unhurried. The moment her eyes landed on Mr. Smith, her face hardened.

“What brings you here, Mr. Smith?”

Crap.

Trying to play it cool, I acted as though his visit was no big deal.

“Oh? You two know each other?”

“He helped us out during Aaron’s lawsuit the other day.”

Of course, sharp as ever, Susan must have already guessed why Mr. Smith was here. So I decided to get ahead of her.

“Isaac, do you like boats or trains more?”

“Me? Trains!”

“Oh, our Isaac wants to be a railway tycoon like Uncle Aaron! In that case, I’ll leave all my mining rights to you. And for Abigail, cash and real estate-“

Susan frowned and cut me off. She was clearly furious about the situation.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s always good to get things in order early, don’t you think?”

“There’s no need to do this now. I’m sorry for making you come all this way, Mr. Smith. We’ll be in touch soon about the bill of exchange lawsuit on Monday.”

Before I could say anything, Susan dismissed Mr. Smith and sent him on his way.

Given that she was a far more important client than I was, Mr. Smith had little choice. After all, Susan was the largest shareholder of White Bank.

To be fair, it was a little absurd for me to rely on a corporate lawyer for my will in the first place.

“Isaac, we’ll play cards later, okay? Your Uncle Scott is here—go ask him to play with you.”

Once Isaac was out of the room, Susan immediately exploded.

“Scarlett White! What the hell are you doing?”

“Just figuring out what to leave my beloved nephew. Isn’t he fond of trains? Should I leave him land or cash instead?”

 

“We don’t need your petty cash. What’s gotten into you lately?”

 

“It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve cried and thrown tantrums for no reason.”

“What’s wrong? Tell me. You know we’re on your side.”

“On my side?”

Lies. Her words only made me angrier.

If Susan was really on my side, why had she stayed silent about Noah Ashford?

A wave of resentment surged within me, betrayal twisting my stomach. The look of confusion on her face, not understanding why I was upset, only irritated me more.

Then, impulsively, I blurted out the truth.

“Noah Ashford killed me.”