I always knew that my father had an affair while my mother was pregnant.
But no one told me she prematurely went into labor after seeing the mistress’s one-year-old son, Noah Esperd.
My mother believed that Noah, who strongly resembled her husband, was my father’s son.
And In shock, my mother prematurely gave birth to an eight month old baby. The baby was inevitably born with weak lungs and a fragile heart, and the doctor clearly said the child wouldn’t live long.
That child was me.
“And Noah was not my father’s son…….”
Upon waking up after traveling back in time, I had to take deep breaths because I died realizing that Noah and his mother had caused all the pain I had endured my whole life.
Yes, I was killed by Noah Esperd.
* * *
“How dare you……”
How dare you kill me!
My hands were shaking violently. Rage coursed through my entire body and a burst of heat rose to my face.
I grew up without parents because of Julia Esperd.
Father never came back to us, and I heard that my mother died of a broken heart.
Noah, that child, he was the one who had destroyed my body, my family, my life; he was the mastermind behind everything.
“Huhk. Cough!”
I couldn’t breathe.
Holding onto my chest, I wheezed and grabbed Scott’s wrist.
Scott quickly put a pill on my lips, and I swallowed the bitter medicine without water.
I wanted to live.
I had to live.
If Noah Esperd was responsible for the beginning of my wretched life, then I would be the one deciding when I die.
So, I absolutely had to live.
“Ughhh!”
I will kill you!
“Hurrk!”
I’ll definitely kill you. I won’t let it slide.
“The medicine isn’t working!” I heard Scott say as he quickly took out a syringe from the drawer.
Breathing, something that was so simple and natural for everybody else, why was it so difficult for me? Perhaps it’s because I was an unwanted child, rejected by this world just like I was by my father.
So Noah, who made me this way, along with his mother, wouldl have to pay the price for what they’ve done to my life.
“Kgh.”
“Carly. Come on, calm down! It’s okay. Damnit, I wouldn’t have told you if I knew you’d react like this.”
Calm down? I couldn’t calm down.
Things were okay!
But the sedative would make all of that possible.
As Scott injected me with the seringue’s content, my breathing gradually eased up. But that didn’t make me feel better.
“Are you okay?” Scott questioned, as he stoically dealt with my seizure, but beneath that calm exterior, there was concern he couldn’t hide.
“Why didn’t you tell me now?” I angrily uttered.
“Are you okay?” Scott repeated, ignoring my question.
“I asked you why you’re only telling me this now! You should have told me! Even if everyone else didn’t, you should have given me a hint. Why did you let them turn me into some stupid puppet!”
“Don’t get excited. I don’t want to give you another injection.”
“Scott!”
“Scarlett.”
My breathing, which had been unsteady, began to settle down as I was gradually affected by Scott’s calmness.
In truth, it was probably more because of the drug and the injection mixing up in my system, and I decided to welcome the numbing sensation.
Then, in a slightly hoarse voice, I asked.
“Are you saying …… She is dying?”
“Yes.”
“What about that woman’s son?
“That’s not something you need to concern yourself with. Do you resent him?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Father-“
“I don’t have a father,” I cut him off.
Was there such a thing like father in my memory? Did he hold a place in my heart for any emotion other than resentment?
“Who else knows?”
“No one knows she is dying.”
My gaze moved to Scott’s expensive cufflinks.
They were diamond-encrusted.
It was one of the gifts Aaron, my second oldest brother, who enjoyed showing off his wealth, gave to him on his birthday as a token of appreciation.
I grew up in such a family, surrounded by siblings who enjoyed slapping their money on people’s faces. Yes, my upbringing was far from ordinary.
And within that family, there was no father figure.
“Find that woman’s son for me,” I persisted.
“That’s difficult.”
“Why.”
“His whereabouts are very elusive. He just disappeared like smoke one day, and ever since then I’ve looked everywhere but I was never able to find him.” Scoot explained, shrugging his shoulders before reaching out to stroke my hair.
“Please, don’t let me regret telling you the truth,” he added.
“I don’t mind you guys turning me into a greenhouse plant, but I don’t want to be a stupid puppet who knows nothing.”
“What’s the difference between the two?”
“Well, no one controls plants, but a puppet has no choice but to live under the strings of its masters.So, if you hadn’t told me the truth, I’d have resented you even in death.”
Scott mulled over my words, contemplating the difference between the two, but then he smirked, “Alright. If you want to be a delicate plant, just say the word, and we’ll make your wish come true.”
Despite Scott’s effort to lighten the mood, I couldn’t laugh at his joke.
I lived with the curse of that day ever since I came back, but that guy is missing? I said inwardly.
I needed to find him and make him feel the same pain Isaac and I felt.
It would be only fair.
He deserved to suffer like I did.
“That man…….”
Noah Esperd’s purple eyes flashed in my mind.
And as they did, the arm where pieces of glass had pierced me started to feel itchy, sending shivers from my shoulder down to my leg.
That man still frightened me.
“Give me the information you have on Noah Esperd. And I’ll also need the surveillance report on that woman. Even if she is on the run, she’ll come crawling back when she hears that mother is dying. After all, she is a petty human being.”
“What are you going to do?”
Will she really show her face? I pondered.
“I want to meet her.”
Scott’s eyebrows immediately furrowed at my words, but I ignored his reaction, and continued talking continued,
“I thought I’d ask her before I die how sweet it was to have an affair with a married man.”
“If Susan finds out, I’m dead,” Scott sighed, as he ran his palm over his face.
“Then do you want me to casually meet that woman, and come back? Do you want me to just forgive her like a good hearted protagonist in some novel? Do you think it would end like this? Shouldn’t she pay the price for her sins? I won’t be satisfied until she kneels before me until the day of her death. You may have forgiven her, but I haven’t. This is just the beginning!”
“Yeah. You’re right……. I’ll send the information by tomorrow. I don’t know what you are going to do, but I need you to make sure not to compromise your health,” Scott seriously stated.
But instead of reassuring him, I just smiled ambiguously.
I didn’t make it past nineteen the first time around.
I knew how things would end for me.
Every single path would ultimately end with death, and knowing this, I can peacefully let go of everything.
* * *
After Scott left, Mr Smith, the lawyer, came in as promised.
“Long time no see,” I greeted him.
At my words, Mr Smith raised his glasses with a slightly puzzled look.
Only then did I remember he had never met me before. We didn’t meet yet in this second life.
The first time I saw Mr Smith was when I was lying in a hospital bed a few days before my murder. Unfortunately, he left us due to a train accident.
“I was confused for a moment,” I quickly said “This is the will I wrote with Mr Johnson when I was about fourteen,
“Is there anything you’d like to modify?” the lawyer asked.
“Yes.”
In reality, money means nothing to my family. The White family had been wealthy and prestigious for generations.
And If my wealth was a bucket of water, then my siblings’ fortune was a deep lake.
“I inherited a fortune after coming of age a few months ago, and wanted to start a scholarship foundation in my name. So. please place all my inheritance there.” I explained, watching Mr Smith make a note of the request.
“I also have a lot of real estate, cash, bonds, and stocks that I own. In case…..” I stopped talking and closed my eyes for a moment.
A grim future that had nothing to do with Noah Esperd, flashed in my mind.
When I opened my eyelids, Mr Smith was looking at me with questioning eyes.
Lowering my voice, I continued in a tone, “I need you to keep this between us, can you swear to keep it a secret?”
“Yes. Don’t worry. I swear to God.”
“If my niece Abigail’s health starts to deteriorate……. I mean, if a serious health issue were to arise.
My head suddenly throbbed with pain, forcing me to cut my words short.
Abigail, the only child of my older brother John, suffered greatly from a fever. It affected her legs, rendering her unable to walk, and in the end it took her eyes.
I suffered greatly seeing her in that state. It was crucial for me to prevent it from happening again.
“Especially if something goes wrong with her eyes… Natalia has great potential when it comes to medical magic, so I’ve commissioned research at the Wizard Tower. I want my eyes to be removed and stored after my death and as soon as Natalia’s research about magical transplantation is complete, I’d like my eyes to be given to Abigail. Since we are family, there should be less chance for her body to reject the organ. And of course, I’ll pay for everything.
Mr Smith’s face contorted. He seemed repulsed by the idea of eye transplantation judging by how he shuddered. He then cleared his throat in an obvious attempt to mask the sympathy he was feeling.
“All matters related to ships and construction will be left to Isaac, and since his mum, Susan, doesn’t have a villa to her name, I might as well leave mine to him too.”
At that moment, I heard familiar footsteps outside the door.
I quickly whispered to Mr Smith to hide the papers and stood up to greet the visitor even before the door was opened.
“Croissants!” I exclaimed, running to embrace my little croissant, Isaac.
My adorable nephew, whom I missed even though I saw him every day.
I placed him on my hip and hugged his tiny body tightly. His slender body and warmth soothed me once again today.
And as he was in my arms, I felt very grateful that I’ve come back in time.
While my death was a destined matter, Isaac’s was an event that could be changed.
It should be changed no matter what.
“Croissants. Did you miss your aunt?”
I planted a kiss on Isaac’s curly red hair and he giggled while nestling himself closer to me.
“Did you have fun at school? Hanging out with Auntie is the best, right?”
“Auntie, stop calling me Croissant.”
“What should I call you then? Apple pie?”
“Auntiiieeuhh!”
One look at my adorable nephew, and I was convinced that no matter what happened, I would definitely kill that man.
A few minutes later, Susan came in slowly, but stiffened when she saw Mr Smith.
“Mr Smith, what are you doing here?”
I’m screwed.
I casually turned to face Susan, pretending that Mr Smith being in here was an insignificant matter, “Do you know him?”
“He helped me with Aaron’s last lawsuit.”
I knew the quick-witted Susan couldn’t be kept unaware for long, so I decided to hit the nail on the head.
“Isaac. Isaac, do you like ships or trains?”
“Me? I like trains!”
“Oh, then our Isaac might grow up to be a railroad king like Uncle Aaron! If that’s the case, let’s pass on the mining rights to my Isaac and leave the cash and realestate to Abigail.
Susan, with a stern expression, suddenly interrupted me. She looked terribly upset by this situation.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“It’s better to tidy up in advance.”
“There’s no need for that.” She refuted. “Mr Smith, I apologize for this unnecessary visit. I was actually planning to contact you for the bill of exchange case, but I didn’t expect to see you here. What about we meet on Monday?”
Without giving me a chance to intervene, Susan dismissed Mr Smith.
Perhaps, even for him, there was no room for choice when dealing with a client as powerful as her. She was the major shareholder of the White Bank after all.
Well, entrusting a will to a lawyer who specialized in corporate disputes was rather ridiculous in the first place.
“Isaac, we’ll have to save the card game for another time. Uncle Scott is here, so go ask him to join us,”I sweetly said to the little guy.
As soon as Isaac was gone, Susan shouted.
“Scarlett White, what do you think you’re doing!”
“Trying to figure out what to leave to my dear nephew. If the trains won’t work,what about land or cash?”
“I don’t need your pennies. Why are you acting like this all of the sudden?”
“Well, it’s not the first time I’ve cried and lost my temper for no reason.”
“What’s going on? Tell me, we’re on your side,” Susan pleaded.
“You’re on my side?”
Even though she lied to me?
Her words repulsed me.
If she was truly on my side, why had she kept quiet about Noah Esperd?
A mixture of emotions swirled through me; I felt betrayed by the sister I’d come to rely on the most.
As I looked at her, I saw irritation built up on face as she was trying to understand why I was doing this.
So, I impulsively blurted out the truth,
“Noah Esperd killed me!”
