There was No One Beside Her

“Well.”

“What?”

“Anything displeasing to your eye is entirely my humble fault. I apologize for any disturbance caused.”

The apology carried an air of innocence, accompanied by a simple smile that added a ridiculing touch to the previously tense atmosphere.

The Queen Dowager’s fingertips trembled slightly. She felt ignored by this seemingly insignificant act and struggled to contain her frustration.

“How dare you ignore me!”

“I didn’t intend to do so, but I apologize if it came across that way.”

Cecile continued her stride without remorse, each step forward executed with perfect composure.

As the door to the bedroom finally closed, the Queen Dowager found herself blushing with shame. She grit her teeth, exasperated at having revealed a momentary weakness to those beneath her.

“That, that thing has finally lost her mind!”

____

Within half a day, the story of Cecile’s encounter with the Queen Dowager had spread far and wide, albeit in a thoroughly distorted fashion.

‘They say she was hit the first night.’

‘They say the emperor secluded himself, drowning his sorrows in alcohol.’

‘They say the infuriated Empress hurled her belongings at a maid.’

These rumors, tinged with malice, were meticulously propagated by the Queen Dowager, far exceeding the previous levels of intensity before Cecile’s return.

However, Cecile wasn’t taken aback by the distorted narrative. She had encountered similar situations in the past.

‘Before, it was orchestrated by Dorothea.’

It appeared that things were different this time. For some peculiar reason, Dorothea, her maid, displayed an unusual calmness.

The situation mirrored the previous whipping incident. Ordinarily, she would have demanded Cecile to obey her command, but she refrained from doing so this time.

‘What could be the case?’

Dorothea was a close associate of the Queen Dowager. This meant she was an enemy of Cecile.

But in an instant, her demeanor changed abruptly with a flick of a hand. The timeframe was too brief for there to be any discernible reason.

‘Well, I guess it doesn’t matter.’

Cecile closed her eyes. Even if Dorothea did indeed spread such rumors, it held no significance for her.

She harbored no curiosity towards the instigator of the gossip sessions throughout the Imperial palace.

In truth, she wished not to dwell on it.

She experienced anger and resentment, and at the same time, everything seemed futile. These emotions didn’t seem to belong to herself.

‘It’s all annoying.’

Cecile closed her eyes.

____

It was a double blessing bestowed upon the empire– a nationwide celebration coinciding with the coronation of its new sovereign.

Favored by divine benevolence, the emperor and his consort were individuals of virtue, possessing youthful vigor and embodying a fiery spirit.

Regardless of status, well-wishers flocked to the empire to extend their congratulations on the commencement of the couple’s new reign.

The resonant notes of music filled the streets on every occasion, accompanied by the brilliant detonation of firecrackers, creating an atmosphere where laughter echoed unceasingly.

The opulence of the imperial banquet hall mirrored the jubilant fervor. It was densely packed, leaving no space for free movement.

Seated at the head table within the banquet hall, Cecile found herself amidst the celebratory ambiance. However, the adjacent throne, the grandest and most expansive, remained unoccupied.

As the Empress made her entrance without escort, a subtle murmur pervaded the surroundings, seemingly tinged with mockery.

“What on earth is this?”

“There have been rumors circulating, claiming His Majesty the Emperor was overly drunk last night and failed to attend the first night.”

“Oh my. And what of the Empress…”

Whispers persisted, accompanied by furtive glances toward the Empress, subtly poking at her expense.

Certain nobles were well informed of Queen Dowager’s deliberate propagation of rumors about Cecile, orchestrating her presence amidst the banquet hall. 

However, no one dared sympathize with Cecile.

The nobles hesitated to garner the wariness of the powerful figure that was the Queen Dowager. On the contrary, they worked to amplify their derisive comments in a bid to capture her notice.

Each insidious whisper and pointed glance bore into Cecile with a relentless intensity, as if poised to consume her.

Despite this, Cecile maintained an unwavering expression.

She surveyed her surroundings with a countenance resembling that of a lifeless doll, leisurely blinking her eyes.

Observers, perceiving her demeanor, clicked their tongues, branding her shameless.

“Some claim destiny is unchangeable. Isn’t the supposedly fake Empress destined for imminent expulsion?”

“This explains why even His Majesty the Emperor treats her with such disdain.”

A raucous, piercing laughter reached Cecile’s ears.

It was a laugh so grating that in the past, she would struggle to endure it by tightly gripping the hem of her skirt and gritting her teeth. However, there was an absence of emotion within Cecile.

To her surprise, Cecile found herself strangely calm.

She maintained her composure, scanning the crowd with her bright blue eyes and bestowing blessings upon those who greeted her.

This repetitive cycle continued for hours, during which her body began to signal hunger due to the lack of a proper breakfast.

However, despite the churning in her stomach, Cecile remained unperturbed, as if the hunger itself did not belong to her.

‘Could it be that I’m losing my sanity?’

The sudden realization struck her.

The thought lingered as Cecile contemplated why she had ceased to desire even the most basic human needs.

Around that time, it was her turn to meet her family.

As her family members witnessed Cecile standing before the podium, they greeted her, emotions evident in their eyes.

“Cecile. No, Your Majesty. Long time no see.”

Thrilled voices. Tears welling in happiness.

However, Cecile found herself unable to resonate with their emotions.

In ordinary circumstances, she would have abandoned proper decorum and rushed to embrace them, but now was different.

‘They look the same’, was Cecile’s initial retort.

She recalled her family’s reaction to her supposed death.

‘Dying without a single warning? It is only right to hint at such a deadly matter. The imperial household is furious at the thought that they were toyed with.’

‘What are we supposed to do now! Are we supposed to die together?’

She was accustomed to the indifference of others.

But it was different when even her own family failed to mourn her apparent demise.

The remnants of her still-tender emotions manifested as an unpleasant foreign sensation surrounding her chest.

When Cecile had supposedly passed, instead of grieving, they had been crouching like guilty criminals.

‘I don’t want to see them.’

The notion of facing them for even a brief moment proved to be daunting.

Her doll-like countenance displayed a subtle frown, though her mother, seemingly oblivious, approached Cecile and extended her congratulations.

“I sincerely congratulate you on your noble position.”

Cecile absentmindedly observed her mother’s footsteps and softly asked.

“What day was yesterday?”

“Hm? Oh, wasn’t it the day the ceremony was held?”

Her mother responded with a hint of confusion at the unexpected inquiry.

However, while Cecile witnessed her mother’s puzzled expression, she refrained from adding any further explanation.

Instead, she maintained silence, then recited the forgotten facts in an empty voice.

“No. It was my birthday that day.”

Her family member’s expressions paled at Cecile’s words.

Yes, it was indeed her birthday, a day marked by the rising of the full moon, illuminating the world as she was born.

However, from the moment she became a saint, the human aspects of her existence became anything less than necessary.

Even her birthday held no significance for her saintly persona. It was just another day—void of celebration or acknowledgment.

There was no need for them to remember Cecile’s birthday, so her sudden comment seemed to baffle them.

Moreover, how significant Queen Dowager’s authority could be. For such meaningless words to befall her ears on such a fine day and trigger an unpleasant event.

Cecile’s mother responded urgently, her complexion pale.

“My, how could you say that? I can’t believe you’re still caught up in such personal matters.”

Cecile, however, wasn’t particularly hurt by these words. She merely expressed a mild surprise.

“I forgot too. What day was it, I wondered?”

There was no emotion detected in her voice. She continued speaking calmly.

“But it then occurred to me. Perhaps because I was able to meet with my family?”

At this inquiry, her family’s faces turned a shade of blue.

Her mother struggled to articulate her thoughts, her lips trembling slightly. The rest began to fidget and glanced at their surroundings.

Cecile turned away, harboring no expectations. She rose from her seat.

“I’m tired. I’ll just go in and rest.”

“Your Majesty, you can’t do that here and now.”

Her father admonished, urgently grabbing her. Despite his reprimand, Cecile turned away.

‘How laughable.’

Everything seemed devoid of meaning. The purpose of her being here, occupying the role of empress, remained unclear.

‘It doesn’t matter anyway.’

Her family’s concerns, worries, and potential aftermath were no longer her priority.

She moved at a slow pace. However, unlike her composed demeanor, those who followed her bore expressions filled with anxiety.

Leaving a gathering where many highly valued guests existed would undoubtedly spark controversy.

Furthermore, the snarky Queen Dowager would likely reprimand her for breaching etiquette.

Anticipating the Queen Dowager’s reaction, especially knowing the Emperor had yet to make an appearance, there would likely be a demand for Cecile to relinquish her position as Empress.

Amid these thoughts, Dorothea stepped forward.

She halted Cecile with her urgent tone.

“Your Majesty, it is still too early to leave.”

“I’m tired.”

“I will do my best to resolve the situation as quickly as possible.”

Dorothea’s plea was uncharacteristic and impulsive, whether driven by a sense of duty to protect the imperial family or a fear of the potential consequences.

Cecile, however, did not halt her steps.

With few able to block the Empress’s determined stride, Cecile swiftly reached the entrance of the banquet hall.

The passage lay in darkness, devoid of any lights, due to the Empress’s abrupt departure.

And within that dim obscurity, the Emperor, who had yet to show his face since last night, made an appearance.

_________

I’ve been waiting for his ‘highness’ to make an appearance. He too busy to be with us, after all.