꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷THERE IS NO WAY YOU LOVE ME꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷
Eyes that had been tightly shut flew open.
Both Alyssa, who had escaped from a relentless nightmare, and Kieran, whose silver-gray eyes met hers, let out a long breath at the same time.
Her pale face and jet-black hair were soaked in cold sweat.
Kieran gently brushed her hair back.
“Are you alright?”
Kieran had woken up about ten minutes earlier.
He thought he had heard a small creature whimpering in its sleep, but when he realized it was Alyssa’s stifled sobs, his drowsiness vanished instantly.
Alyssa had often suffered from nightmares before, but tonight’s was especially bad.
She curled into herself, trembling and sweating as if in agony—her breathing growing dangerously faint.
“D-Did I wake… wake you?”
Alyssa’s voice was groggy, and her eyes, more than concerned, were filled with fear.
Kieran couldn’t bring himself to say yes to that expression, so he shook his head.
“The moonlight was bright, that’s all. It just woke me for a moment.”
“I’m sorry… Please go back to sleep…”
After the head maid’s execution, there had been times when Alyssa had nightmares like this, and Kieran had woken her.
But unlike those times—when she had soon fallen back asleep with a peaceful face—this Alyssa, even with her bleary eyes, couldn’t seem to rest. She stared at Kieran with unease, as if she wouldn’t be able to close her eyes unless he lay back down.
In the end, Kieran reluctantly lay back on his bed. Only after a long while did the sound of her steady breathing return.
Even so, Kieran couldn’t fall asleep until the pitch-black sky had turned a faint blue.
Alyssa’s breaths, though mostly even, would suddenly hitch, breaking the rhythm.
Before dawn, she quietly sat up.
There was not a trace of sleep left on her face as she straightened her expression and slipped out of the room like a ghost.
Kieran, who had been holding his breath until the door shut, finally let out a long sigh.
It had been a sleepless night for both of them.
“Good morning.”
As if to make a mockery of that long, restless night, Alyssa greeted him with a bright smile as if nothing had happened.
She sat perfectly still, waiting alone in the dining hall.
Her calm demeanor felt strangely unnatural.
“…Good morning.”
Kieran sat down in his seat, keeping his expression neutral. Though Alyssa smiled, his mind was tangled with thoughts.
He had no intention of carelessly prying into her deepest, most personal trauma. But doing nothing at all didn’t feel right either.
“Do you have any plans after breakfast?”
He asked as lightly as he could, so as not to burden her—but Alyssa flinched at the question.
“Ah, n-no.”
“Perfect. I was thinking of having some tea, but it’s a bit lonely on my own. Would you spare a little time for me?”
Kieran continued as if he hadn’t noticed her tremble. At that, Alyssa slowly lifted her gaze, like a rabbit peeking out from its burrow.
“…Yes, I will.”
The barely-given reply felt like a small victory. Kieran smiled brightly, almost without realizing it.
From then on, the mood at the table eased just a little. That gentler atmosphere lingered until the servants came to clear the dishes and brought in the tea set.
Kieran used the excuse of pouring tea to move to sit beside her. Alyssa stiffened again, but when the fragrant aroma of the tea filled the air, her eyes widened slightly.
With elegant and restrained movements, Kieran brewed the tea and gently tilted the teapot to pour it. After adding a couple spoonfuls of sugar, he offered the cup to Alyssa.
As she took the cup and sipped it, her face flushed with the warmth of the tea.
It was the most peaceful expression he’d seen on her in a while. She glanced at him, seeming slightly uneasy, and Kieran shifted his gaze to his own cup instead.
He had only a vague idea of what was making her so anxious. It would be nice if she could eventually explain it, but if talking about it caused her pain, he didn’t need to know.
Just this—just this much calmness was enough…
“Gasp—!”
Crash!
A sharp sound shattered the moment.
Startled, Kieran turned to Alyssa. The teacup had slipped from her hands and broken into several pieces on the saucer.
Red tea spilled out between the shattered fragments, seeping into the white tablecloth. Alyssa sat frozen, pale, staring at the mess.
“I’m so sorry! I—I broke the cup…!”
Her hands trembled violently as she hurried to gather the broken shards. Her slender fingertips touched the still-hot tea, turning bright red, and blood welled up where the jagged porcelain cut her skin.
“Stop!”
Kieran grabbed her wrist, more forcefully than he intended. The urgency left no room for delicacy.
“This isn’t what’s important right now.”
He tried to keep his anger in check, but Alyssa could sense it immediately. As she sat there, hand bleeding and trembling, a wave of despair hit him.
“Why did you do that?”
“……”
“I’m not trying to blame you.”
Even though his voice was close to pleading, Alyssa trembled for a long while. At last, she moved her lips with great effort.
“…My face. I saw my face.”
When the red tea stilled, her reflection appeared like a mirror. It startled her—it was too horrifying to bear.
Kieran didn’t respond, perhaps because he hadn’t caught her barely audible whisper. As Alyssa tried to speak again, he pulled something from inside his coat.
It was a black pocket watch, unadorned and plain. The kind that could be found anywhere, yet oddly familiar.
Without realizing it, Alyssa lifted her head—and met Kieran’s gaze. At that moment, he turned the watch’s hands.
In an instant, darkness fell so thick it blurred the distinction between ceiling and walls. Nothing was visible. Alyssa opened her mouth, then closed it again.
‘Why do you look so sad?’
The words hovered on her lips but were swallowed by the darkness.
“You won’t see it anymore.”
His silhouette flickered faintly in the dark as he spoke. When she blinked a few times, a galaxy unfurled behind him.
A sky full of stars shimmering as if they might pour down at any moment. She remembered the pocket watch he’d been holding.
“Does it feel a little better now?”
His voice sounded closer than before. Darkness moved closer, gently enveloping her hand.
He carefully pried her fingers open and took the shattered porcelain pieces away. With a soft cloth, he cleaned her wounds and wrapped them with a few gentle turns.
It was barely a scratch—nothing compared to the scars already etched into her hands.
Even so, he tended to her with such careful fingers, as if afraid he might cause her pain.
With her other senses dulled, the feeling of his touch was all the more vivid. The tenderness in it was unmistakable.
Strangely, in that pitch-darkness, she began to calm. The suspicion that had gripped her for days, yanking at her thoughts like a hand in her hair, started to loosen.
She had been on edge, reacting anxiously to every glance, every touch from him. She kept thinking she didn’t deserve this kindness—and feared he might take it away.
But now, just a little, she found the courage to stay.
“Did you… maybe not see me that day?”
The warmth reaching her was kind enough to sweep away all her fears. Maybe—just maybe—nothing had been ruined yet.
Her small voice spread gently through the still darkness. Kieran didn’t respond immediately, only stared at her shadowed form.
If he said he hadn’t seen her… Alyssa would feel at ease.
There was no way to prove otherwise. It would be a truth that held—at least until someone else tore off her mask again.
And even then, he could simply pretend not to know. Close his eyes to it all.
Knowing this, even so… Kieran couldn’t bring himself to lie.
‘Would it really end there?’
She might never again flinch at her own reflection. But she would also never be able to face even the tiniest shard of a broken mirror.
If she kept wearing the mask, the nightmares would never stop. Not for the rest of her life.
He had to choose: the bitter truth or the sweet lie.
Kieran hesitated for a long time. But in the end, he made his decision.
“No. I saw you.”
That day… and truthfully, even before that.
He had closed his eyes and pretended not to know, but he couldn’t anymore.
“But I’m still here. I’m still by your side.”
There was a quiet desperation in his voice. He wanted to see what kind of face she was making now.
“I don’t know how others might have seen you. I’m not claiming to be any sort of saint.”
He tried to stay calm, to speak gently—but his words kept speeding up. It was clumsy, awkward, desperate.
Probably not a very dignified sight. Kieran gave a wry smile. Come to think of it, had he ever once been perfectly polished in front of Alyssa?
“It’s just that… the face I saw wasn’t frightening at all.”
It didn’t matter if it came off as foolish—as long as the meaning reached her.
“The corners of your eyes turned up just slightly. Your brows were a little lighter than your hair, and your eyelashes were long.”
The image of her face, fleeting as it had been, stayed vividly in his mind. Whether it had been beautiful or ugly—it didn’t matter.
“That’s all. There was nothing strange about it.”
Saved up my moonlight dollars or whatever they’re called for this and it was so worth it. He’s so patient. 🥹 Hopefully our girl can calm down a bit.
Thanks for the update! Looking forward to following this story. ✨
Words can’t describe how much i love these two🥹💗
Thank you very much
Please tell me the name of the new web site where you publish your novels so I can continue reading your novels. I don’t have a Discord account because Discord is banned in my country.
Please don’t forget to write the name of the web site
Hiii so i haven’t decided the new website yet since i’d have to ask to transfer the whole novel there but it’s either gonna be prizma or lily on the valley. Don’t worry i’d make an announcement here too about which website is it gonna be on. Btw can you access novel updates website from your country?
Thank you very much. I will wait for your novels and the new web site name.
Yes, I can access novel updates website from my country