Alyssa mechanically brought food to her mouth. Her mind was so blank that she couldn’t even tell if she was using a fork or a spoon.
And for a good reason—Kieran was sitting across from her, sharing the meal.
Clang.
When Kiaran tore a piece of bread and put it in his mouth, Alyssa dropped her spoon. His gaze shifted to her, and Alyssa felt slightly faint.
Since Kieran had arrived he took his meals in the sitting room attached to his quarters. So when he appeared in the first-floor dining room where Alyssa usually ate, she assumed he was just exploring the castle.
She intended to leave so that Kieran could look around freely. However, Kieran stopped her.
“I’ve come to dine with Your Grace. Is there something urgent? I’ll wait.”
Alyssa was flustered. She had meant to leave to avoid him, but he said he would wait until she returned.
Caught off guard, Alyssa awkwardly sat back down, and Kieran, as if it were the most natural thing, sat across from her.
Everyone else was equally surprised, but Kieran calmly instructed the servants to bring out his place setting. In no time, the table was set for two.
“Is something wrong?”
Kieran finally asked Alyssa, who had dropped her spoon.
There were so many reasons.
Why had he come to see her? Was it really okay for them to dine together? Was the distance too close—could he smell something unpleasant from her…?
“…You don’t have to force yourself to eat it.”
Alyssa had many things she wanted to say, but that was what came out first.
The food on the table was so simple it bordered on poor—just potato soup, bread, water, and a little butter.
For Alyssa, this was a typical meal, but for Kieran, it was not. Despite their limited means, Alyssa always tried to prepare the best meals possible for him.
Even the meals she carefully prepared might not suit his taste, so this food must seem like garbage to him.
“If you wait a little longer, I can have a proper meal prepared. So—”
“It’s fine.”
His calm response came just then. Alyssa, who had been staring down at the table, lifted her gaze.
Kieran was calmly dipping the hard bread into the soup and eating it. Alyssa was surprised to see him chewing the bread without so much as a grimace.
“This is more than enough, so there’s no need to go to any extra trouble.”
The food was far from excellent by any standard, but Kieran’s nonchalant demeanor made it clear he wasn’t being sarcastic.
‘Nobles in the capital wouldn’t even touch something like this.’
Yet Kieran continued eating as if he had been eating such simple fare all his life. Alyssa briefly wondered if this was some new trend in the capital, but then dismissed the thought.
There was something more important to consider. Why was Kieran sitting here, across from her?
Even the servants avoided Alyssa, so she usually ate alone without anyone attending to her. It must have been uncomfortable for him, so why…?
“Is it really that uncomfortable to eat with me?”
“You’re right, I—what?”
Alyssa instinctively started to agree, but then she realized the subject of the sentence was different from what she had assumed. She froze, surprised, while Kieran remained as composed as ever.
“I know that you dislike me, Your Grace. But I am your husband now, so I hope you might accept me, at least a little.”
Alyssa blinked, processing Kieran’s words, which were delivered without any change in tone. Although Kieran’s actions had always been hard to understand, nothing had confused her as much as his recent statement.
“I don’t dislike you.”
Lacking eloquence, Alyssa cut straight to the point in an attempt to clear up the misunderstanding. She wanted to ask why he thought that, but she had no idea where to start.
“There’s no need to say that just to spare my feelings,” Kieran replied, tilting his head slightly. His calm gaze remained unchanged, making Alyssa even more anxious.
“It’s true. I don’t understand why you would think that…”
“Because you’ve been avoiding me.”
Kieran interrupted Alyssa’s stammering words with a simple statement, leaving her momentarily speechless.
“You didn’t even show your face on the day I arrived, and during or after the wedding, it was clear you were uncomfortable around me. You’ve never sought me out since, and even now, you seem so uneasy.”
There was nothing wrong with what Kieran said; he was entirely correct about her discomfort. But Alyssa swore she had never disliked him.
“I’m not trying to blame you. In fact, I understand completely. There’s no need for you to feel any attachment to me.”
Kieran continued, perhaps mistaking Alyssa’s silence for agreement.
“However, I would like to be acknowledged as the master of this household.”
With those words, Kieran looked directly at Alyssa. His calm green eyes quietly observed her.
“First of all, I don’t dislike you. I really don’t.”
Under his expectant gaze, Alyssa carefully chose her words. Kieran’s misunderstanding was deep and persistent.
“It’s true that I’ve been avoiding you, but it wasn’t because of you. I just assumed you wouldn’t want to see me.”
Kieran frowned slightly, as if he couldn’t comprehend her reasoning. He spoke, his confusion evident.
“Why would you think that? We hadn’t even been properly introduced before I came here.”
When asked how one could dislike someone they didn’t know, Alyssa awkwardly lifted the corners of her mouth.
“Because you wouldn’t have wanted to marry me. And more than anything…”
Alyssa trailed off, unsure how to explain.
It might seem strange to Kieran, but to Alyssa, it was an obvious fact.
Even if the meeting with Kieran hadn’t been a forced marriage, she would have felt the same way.
No matter how they had met, Alyssa would have expected him to dislike her.
It wasn’t just Kieran; everyone was like that. Alyssa knew that everyone she had met so far and everyone she would meet in the future would dislike her.
“…There are very few people who genuinely like me.”
That’s why Alyssa found Kieran’s reaction fascinating. It had been a long time since someone didn’t dislike her.
Kieran appeared somewhat taken aback by her small admission.
“I can’t speak for others, but… I neither like nor dislike you.”
“That’s a relief.”
Alyssa responded sincerely, smiling faintly. Not for her own sake, but for Kieran’s.
Alyssa knew better than anyone how dreadful it would be for someone to marry her and even more so for people who disliked her.
“I don’t know why you think I would dislike you, but is that why you’re worried about the authority of the master of the house?”
Kieran nodded with a somewhat puzzled expression in response to Alysa’s question.
Alyssa understood how important the head of the household’s trust was to those who left their own families and joined another through marriage. The standing of such individuals within the family could greatly depend on how they were treated by the head of the household.
‘I didn’t expect you to be worried about that.’
Although it was a common principle, Alyssa hadn’t thought it would apply to her and Kieran’s situation.
The Albrecht family, Kieran’s house, was one of the wealthiest and most influential families in the capital. In contrast, the Benoit Duchy, though it had the title of a duchy, was less significant than many baronial families.
Without the Emperor’s decree, no one would dare propose a marriage into such a family. Hence, no one would dare treat Kieran poorly, even if Alyssa did not lend her support.
“I don’t know anything about the internal affairs. That has always been the authority of the mistress of the house and will continue to be. I cannot interfere, so please do as you see fit.”
Even though Alyssa didn’t understand Kieran’s concern, she said this to alleviate his worries. It wasn’t just a false reassurance.
“Are you saying I can manage the internal affairs as I wish?”
Kieran asked with a somewhat ambiguous expression.
“I believe the internal affairs are managed by the head maid. So, I would need to receive all authority from her.”
That was to be expected. Alyssa nodded without hesitation, and Kieran looked at her as if something was amiss.
“It will likely be quite a challenge. Isn’t the head maid like a mother to you?”
The mention of a mother-like figure took Alysa by surprise.
A mother-like woman. His words were true. The head maid had been like a mother to Alyssa.
‘Young lady, look in the mirror.’
The murmuring voice of a woman echoed in Alyssa’s ears. She shook her head.
Just thinking about it made her fingertips tremble. But that was unrelated to the current issue.
“And even so, there must be things for which I’ll need your permission.”
“At least not concerning internal affairs.”
Kieran smiled at her resolute answer. It was a very faint smile, but it was the first time she had seen him smile.
In response, Alyssa found herself staring blankly at Kieran without realizing it. He, unaware of her gaze, scanned the disordered table and clicked his tongue softly.
“Then it seems the first task I must undertake as the Duchess’ husband is already determined.”
Bit of a roles reversal – interesting!
Yes, yes! that’s why I started reading this! Instead of the Duke of the North, there’s a Duchess of the North lol
Communication! that’s all that was needed! 😭
This is interesting, a switch roles