꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦THERE IS NO WAY YOU LOVE ME꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦
Once again, a suffocating silence filled the room.
When Alyssa turned around, she saw Mirika staring at her, her face flushed bright red.
“I-I-I’m sorry! T-that’s not what I m-meant!”
Mirika had never been particularly smooth with her words, but now she was completely stumbling over them.
“…M-my Imperial language is still not very fluent. I was just t-trying to keep my words short and ended up being r-rude.”
She bit her lip tightly from time to time, as if embarrassed, but she did not stop speaking.
“I-I just thought you might be b-bored, so I s-suggested it. I apologize.”
Mirika finished her sentence and bowed deeply. Alyssa stared at her blankly.
Mirika had struggled to find employment until she was hired at the castle through her brother Kanut’s connections.
On her first day at the castle, Kanut had come looking for Alyssa with an unfamiliar expression.
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but… please take care of my sister.”
Gone was the usual overconfident man—he now fidgeted in front of her as if she were a debt collector.
“She might not seem like much, but she’s really good at her job. Just one month! Please, just give her one month!”
Alyssa nodded. She didn’t know exactly what kind of issue there was, but if it wasn’t resolved within a month, she planned to let Mirika go, just as Kanut had said.
However, contrary to her expectations, Mirika was flawless. There wasn’t a single task she couldn’t do, nor did she ever make mistakes.
Though she was curt, she was undeniably competent. Seeing that, Alyssa had long forgotten Kanut’s words—until today, when she finally understood the reason behind them.
“I-I don’t s-stutter when speaking Elshar. I-It’s just that I’m not yet f-fluent in imperial language. I-I will fix it as s-soon as possible.”
Mirika’s low voice carried a sense of urgency, and her stuttering worsened as she spoke.
Watching her, still unable to lift her head, Alyssa was overcome by an odd feeling. Before she even had time to think, her mouth moved on its own.
[T/N : The bold words are what Alyssa is saying to Mirika]
“It’s okay.”
The words fell evenly, without emotion. Mirika slowly raised her head, her face filled with surprise.
Alyssa was just as startled. She hadn’t meant to judge Mirika either way.
But in that moment, she understood her—because Alyssa had once stuttered, too.
As a child, no one had spoken to her, so she had been slow to learn language. Even after she learned to speak, most people disliked hearing her voice, so she naturally chose to remain silent.
That tendency had been fine when she was just a useless freeloader in the ducal household. But after she became the heir, it was a different story.
Alyssa was harshly trained by the previous duke and the head maid to correct her speech. Even in a life devoid of pleasant memories, the years she spent trying to fix her stuttering stood out as particularly horrific.
If she so much as stumbled over a single word, she was severely reprimanded. She couldn’t just stay silent, and the more she tried to speak correctly, the worse her stuttering became.
She had resented her own mouth for not obeying her will. There were nights when she repeated a single mispronounced word over and over until she could say it properly.
“You don’t have to speak perfectly.”
Alyssa knew just how painful it was. She had endured that torment herself, and one person suffering through it was enough.
Whenever she stuttered, the previous duke and the head maid would wrinkle their faces in disgust and say—
“You’re an idiot. A brainless fool who can’t even speak properly.”
“You pronounce everything so clearly now. You must have practiced a lot.”
Alyssa had done the same. She wanted to prove she wasn’t slow-witted, so even when she stuttered, she made sure her pronunciation was flawless, down to the last syllable.
“So…”
Mirika blinked in surprise, her face looking unexpectedly youthful. For some reason, Alyssa felt a lump rise in her throat.
“It’s okay.”
The words she spoke to Mirika echoed back in her own ears, as if whispered to herself.
Upon hearing them, Mirika slowly smiled. As the stiffness melted from her face, she finally looked like the young girl she truly was.
“Thank you…”
Her smile was as fresh and delicate as a wildflower. It was a smile Alyssa had never once worn herself.
It felt like she had been struck hard on the back of her head. Her own voice reverberated in her mind, circling over and over.
She realized—perhaps she had wanted to hear those words, too.
She had forgotten. But back then, she had desperately longed for someone to say them to her.
Now, after finally hearing those words in her own voice, Alyssa felt hollow, as if something inside her had been emptied.
Mirika deserved to hear those words.
Even if it hadn’t been her, surely someone would have told Mirika the same thing.
But Alyssa was different. No one had ever told her it was okay. And not even she could say it to herself.
‘Don’t forget, you fool.’
Like a will, like a nightmare.
Alyssa could no longer face Mirika and turned away.
She wandered aimlessly through the vast castle. There were a few places that came to mind, but nowhere she could go.
The kitchen would be bustling with chefs and servants preparing meals. Kieran might be resting in the bedroom. The training grounds were occupied by knights, and she couldn’t bring herself to return to the office.
Avoiding people, she walked toward the quieter, more secluded parts of the castle—until she stopped.
A uniquely cold and silent air lingered at the tip of her nose. Lifting her head, she immediately recognized where she was.
This place, isolated and quiet even within the castle, was where the former duke had once lived.
He had moved elsewhere in his later years, but during the time his wife was alive, he had resided here without fail.
As a child, Alyssa had never dared to come near the former duke’s quarters—except for once.
And even then, she had only made it to this very spot. A young Alyssa, trembling in the corridor, unable to knock, had waited anxiously before finally standing in front of her father.
His cold gaze, looking down at her, was terrifying enough to make her skin crawl. But Alyssa could no longer endure her mother’s touch. Stammering, she forced the words out.
“I-I… I am n-not… the d-duchess’s… child…”
Only after hearing those words did the duke seem to recognize the child before him as his own daughter.
“I kept something useless alive.”
He had already been displeased by his wife’s wretched state after childbirth. And now, hearing such words from the child made his irritation boil over.
“Get out of my sight. If I see you again, I’ll kill you.”
It was the first time she had heard her father’s voice, and it was filled with murderous intent. Frozen in place, Alyssa couldn’t even breathe.
Now, long buried in the ground, the man still stood there in her mind, looking down at her. Just like in her childhood, she hesitated before turning and running away.
She ran for a long time before finally stopping—but even here, there was no tranquility.
It was the servants’ quarters where the head maid and her closest attendants had stayed. Here, she had been beaten mercilessly after being falsely accused of stealing jewelry.
Beyond the staircase was the maid who had raged at her for staining her clothes with soot. At the end of the hallway, in a small room, was her mother, dragging her in front of a mirror.
The people were gone, but their stained memories remained.
She didn’t know where to go.
Wandering aimlessly, Alyssa eventually stopped in front of a door.
As she opened it, light spilled into the room.
The moment she saw the large portrait inside, she lowered her head.
Instead of reopening the door or fetching a lamp, Alyssa moved forward with practiced ease.
The stale scent of dust and paint filled her nose in this windowless chamber.
This was the room where the portraits of past dukes and duchesses were stored. Since the caretaker rarely visited, young Alyssa had often come here.
Though even this place had not been truly allowed to her, it had been somewhere to hide, if only for a little while.
Reaching the wall, Alyssa sank down, curling into herself.
No one needed her. There was nowhere in this castle where she was truly welcome.
And yet, she couldn’t leave. No matter how miserable her existence was, she wanted to cling to life.
A small place would be enough. Even just one person would be enough.
Was there truly no one?
At that thought, Alysa lifted her head from her knees, startled—not just by the distant sound of approaching footsteps but by the sudden realization that struck her.
“Even so, I will call for you, just like today.”
Ah. There was someone.
She still couldn’t fully believe it, but someone had told her she was allowed to stay by their side.
The footsteps drew closer. Alyssa could recognize a person just by the sound of their steps.
It couldn’t be. There was no way he would come looking for her.
And yet, despite herself, she hoped she was right.
‘Please, let this be real. If miracles exist, I won’t ask for more—just this once.’
She wanted to see Kieran.
Then, the door opened, and a man stood silhouetted against the bright light behind him.
Finally 🥰🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
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