There Is No Way You Love Me

‘It’s a good thing it’s spring.’

Alyssa often repeated this fact as she huddled in the dark room.

The Benoit duchy was bordered by the forest of monsters, and for generations, they had fought against the invading beasts.

If it were any other season, Alyssa would have been too busy to hide away, but spring was the only season when the monsters didn’t attack humans.

Thanks to that, Alyssa could lock her door and relax. She worried about being noticed by Kieran as he toured the castle.

But Alyssa’s efforts didn’t last for long.

Knock, knock.

“Your Grace, you need to get ready.”

Hearing the sound from behind the thick door, Alyssa sighed.

As a couple, there were inevitable moments they had to face. Today, it was their wedding.

‘It’s too soon.’

The wedding was prepared in just three days after Kieran’s arrival. The emperor’s decree had been given much earlier, and weddings in the north were extremely simple.

Reluctantly, Alyssa approached the door and opened it, allowing a few maidservants to enter with the wedding dress.

Not used to being attended to for clothing, Alyssa stood awkwardly as the maidservants quickly helped her change.

Standing there with an uncomfortable expression, Alyssa unconsciously fidgeted with the hem of her dress.

Though born as the only daughter of the duke, Alyssa’s life was vastly different from that of a typical noblewoman.

For the inhabitants of the Benoit duchy, who had to fight continuously to protect their land, what mattered was not manners or grace, but strength alone.

As a child, Alyssa received no special treatment due to being a daughter who could not succeed the title.

Even after proving her abilities and being recognized as the heir, she lived almost entirely on the battlefield.

As a result, her usual attire consisted of armor, uniforms, shirts, and pants. She even wore these until dusk to save money.

‘This is the first time I’ve worn a dress.’

The dress, made of pristine white fabric, was embroidered with silver thread. Though it wasn’t puffed up due to the minimal use of fabric, it appeared luxurious enough to Alyssa.

The white gloves were similar. Though they had no lace or embroidery, they were clean and free of stains.

While Alyssa, like a child, was distracted by the dress, a hesitant young maid carefully asked, “Um, wouldn’t it be better to style your hair?”

At those words, both Alyssa and the maids who were adjusting her clothing turned to look at the young maid.

“Don’t touch my hair.”

Alyssa’s cold voice left the young maid at a loss. In contrast, the other maids remained unfazed.

“B-but it would look much prettier if your face were more visible…”

A faint, almost imperceptible laugh followed. It was a sound so quiet that an ordinary person would not have heard it, but Alyssa’s sensitive ears caught it clearly.

Instead of scolding the maid, she calmly acknowledged the comment. It must seem strange. Someone who hides their ugly appearance by letting their hair fall, it might sound absurd to think that revealing her face could make her look beautiful.

“The young maid must have made a mistake, having just arrived at the castle. I’ll just make a light adjustment.”

The leading maid placed her hands on Alyssa’s hair. She simply loosened the tightly bound hair and re-tied it, but it looked relatively neat.

With only this minimal adjustment, Alyssa headed directly to the wedding venue. With each step she took, the soft fabric of the dress brushed against her legs.

Feeling this sensation, she harbored an unfamiliar hope.

She had never worn such fine clothes in her life. While a single garment might not change a person, maybe, just maybe, she would be somewhat presentable.

But the moment the doors of the dining hall were opened and she faced Kieran, even the faintest hope shattered into pieces.

Kieran, with his silver hair neatly tied back, looked like a finely crafted sculpture. He was strikingly beautiful, standing out immediately wherever he was.

Though there was no part of his appearance that didn’t capture the eye, Alyssa’s gaze lingered the longest on his ceremonial attire.

The black suit, perfectly tailored to fit Kieran, gleamed with a smooth shine. As Alyssa looked at the delicate embroidery at the hem, she lowered her head.

Her own dress, made of white fabric, came into view. It was pitifully shabby compared to Kieran’s elegant attire.

In that moment, Alyssa’s face flushed with embarrassment. How foolish was it to think that wearing nice clothes would make her presentable?

Kieran was someone Alyssa felt she could never measure up to. Although this dress was the finest she had ever worn, to him it would look like mere rags.

The dress, which had seemed so magnificent moments before, now felt utterly inadequate. With a sense of desolation, Alyssa walked toward him.

When she reached the end of the aisle, she stood as far from Kieran as possible.

“Please hurry.”

Without even glancing at him, Alyssa urged the officiant to proceed with the wedding.

Even without turning her gaze, she could sense how Kieran must be looking at her. She was his wife, clad in a hideous dress on top of an already terrible appearance.

The very thought of being with her must be dreadful for him, so she wanted to finish the ceremony as quickly as possible and disappear from his sight.

“Your Grace.”

So when the voice calling her came from beside rather than in front from the officiant, Alyssa doubted her own eyes.

“May I have your hand?”

Why? Alyssa wondered inwardly as she extended her hand obediently. Kieran’s hand lightly grasped hers.

At that moment, Alyssa flinched and trembled.

“Why, why are you holding my hand…?”

“Since we are to become a married couple, I don’t see why a little contact should be an issue.”

While Alyssa was too stunned to continue speaking, Kieran responded in a calm manner.

His tone was slightly sarcastic, but it was nothing compared to what Alyssa had anticipated.

She had expected Kieran to despise or find her repulsive. She thought he might walk out of the ceremony as soon as he saw her, or even hurl insults.

But he did none of that. He merely held her hand.

As the bishop began the ceremony by placing his hands on their heads, Alyssa was still in a state of confusion.

People avoided her as much as possible, hesitant to touch her. Many believed that her ugly appearance was a sign of divine curse, given her constant battles with cursed beasts.

Even the officiant’s hands, placed over Alyssa’s head, hovered slightly above her. Yet Kieran continued to hold Alyssa’s hand without moving.

“With this, I declare you both to be husband and wife.”

After reciting the marriage vows in ancient language and offering a brief blessing, the officiant withdrew his hands.

Only then did Kieran release Alyssa’s hand. He did so gently, without casting her aside, and he did not wipe his hands or discard his gloves afterward.

“Since it’s over, may I leave now?”

Alyssa, who had been lost in a daze, nodded at the question. Another worry she had briefly forgotten now came back to mind.

The wedding had been incredibly modest. There were no flowers, no pipe organs, no guests to celebrate; only the bishop’s vows as witnesses to their marriage.

The weather matched the somber tone of the ceremony, adding to the gloom. Despite the excessive use of candles, they barely made a difference.

Nobles living in the central regions were said to hold grand weddings, with days of festivities. Yet, this wedding was so sparse.

Alyssa worried that Kieran might be displeased, but he remained calm and composed.

“I’ll see you later.”

After giving a polite bow, Kieran left the room, leaving Alyssa in a state of confusion.

His demeanor seemed oddly warm and gentle.

---

In the quiet room stood only the man with silver hair.

Kieran was in the process of removing his ceremonial attire. Not only now but even when wearing it, he had done so alone.

Typically, nobles would have attendants to assist with dressing, but Kieran did not show any dissatisfaction.

‘This is the Duchy of Benoit.’

It was not as wealthy as his family home, so it did not have many attendants or servants, and since they did not seem eager to please Kieran, it made sense.

Most people within the castle did not like Kieran, from the lowly servants performing menial tasks to the master of the estate herself.

When the emperor sent Alyssa a decree to marry, it was the first time Alyssa had tried to defy the emperor’s command.

Even though she had always dutifully carried out her tasks despite unfair treatment, this was the first time she had so vehemently rejected an order.

It was clear enough from her reaction that she disliked Kieran, but her complete absence until the day before the wedding confirmed it even further.

Kieran observed all of this with calm detachment. He was no longer angry; he was simply a bit frustrated.

‘Perhaps you will always be like this.’

He had once thought that he would eventually get used to her coldness. However, no matter how many moons passed, how the seasons changed, or how accustomed he became to being called Kieran Benoit, that would never happen.

Not even until the day he withers away.

He was certain of all this. There was a reason why it had to be this way.

Kieran gazed at his reflection in the mirror with downcast eyes. The familiar scene of the room and his still unfamiliar self were visible within it.

He had lived this life once.