CHAPTER 20
It was her second time going for a walk with Charlotte. The memory of that early morning walk, when Charlotte had smiled and offered to embroider her scarf, was still vivid. Thinking back to that moment filled her with a faint warmth, like a campfire amid a fierce blizzard.
That wasn’t all. From the day Vivianne discovered the Duke’s true identity to the day he returned to Rodinia, it was Charlotte who had stood by her as she struggled in agony. Yet, their relationship had been ruined overnight. Just yesterday, they had glared at each other, brimming with hostility. That memory weighed heavily on Vivianne’s heart.
“About what happened yesterday… I’m sorry, Miss Windler.”
Vivianne apologized without hesitation, genuinely remorseful for her behavior toward Charlotte the day before.
“I absolutely do not harbor any ill feelings toward you, Miss Windler.”
She glanced at Charlotte occasionally, but Charlotte’s expression remained cold and distant. Growing impatient, Vivianne stopped walking, and Charlotte’s gaze finally met hers.
“Why are you still in this manor?”
Vivianne’s lips, poised to apologize again, fell silent. Under the intense sunlight, Charlotte’s sharp question left her breathless. She understood exactly what Charlotte’s gaze conveyed. Charlotte’s unspoken sincerity clawed at Vivianne’s heart.
“Your friend tried to kill the Duke, you behaved disgustingly toward him, and now I am asking you why you’re still here in this manor.”
Vivianne’s lips parted and closed as if she felt wronged. If she could, she would have to go back 14 years to explain why she had no choice but to stay here. However, she didn’t want anyone to know about the issue she needed to resolve with Edwin.
“I completely understand why you’re upset, Miss Windler. I was mistaken. Theo is the only one I have, and the Duke… well, he forced Theo to go hunting…” Vivianne hesitated, glancing at Charlotte before correcting herself.
“I couldn’t help but worry when the Duke said he was going hunting with Theo. I feared something tragic might happen. When I finally saw my friend in the forest, I lost my composure.”
Despite her lengthy explanation, Charlotte’s cold gaze showed no hint of change.
“And because of that, I acted disrespectfully without understanding the full context. I apologize,” Vivianne said.
“Did I ask about any of that?”
Charlotte’s tone was so sharp it sent a chill down Vivianne’s spine.
Vivianne lifted her head, meeting Charlotte’s gaze, now laced with even more disdain—a look so scornful it felt like a blade was cutting and stabbing her.
“I asked why you’re still here. Why you won’t leave this place?!”
In the end, Vivianne couldn’t answer. Charlotte let out a deep sigh and turned her gaze away.
“The truth is, some time ago, I saw you, Miss Aveline, coming out of the Duke’s room late at night.”
Vivianne’s thoughts stopped, along with her heart.
“I tried not to jump to conclusions. Surely a noble lady of your standing wouldn’t so readily throw yourself at him.”
Her face flushed as if she had been slapped. An unfamiliar sense of shame washed over her.
After her parents’ absence and the maid Maria fleeing, Vivianne had been left alone, tormented by countless doubts and unproven certainties that haunted her. Even so, she had endured.
She had always told herself there was no need to be swayed by words that weren’t true, that the judgments of strangers couldn’t leave a single scratch on her life—until Charlotte’s brutal assessment struck her.
“But some time later, the Duke called me and handed me your scarf. Do you know what he said?”
A scarf? The only scarf that came to mind was the one the Duke had taken when she met him in his room late at night—the one she’d used to cover the bruise on her neck. And when she tried to get it back, he said he’d thrown it away.
“He said that since I had offered to embroider it, I should go ahead and embroider it, then bring it back. That’s what the Duke instructed me to do.”
“But the Duke told me…”
“And you have the Duke’s tie as well.”
Vivianne’s parted lips froze. Charlotte, weaving together the connections between the scarf and the tie, seemed entirely convinced.
“Shall I explain why you can’t leave this manor?”
“…”
“As a noble, you want to keep your dignity intact and can’t bear to stay somewhere shabby, so you’re using every means necessary to cling to the Duke’s side, aren’t you?”
“No, that’s not the reason…”
“I’ve decided that’s how I’ll see you from now on, Miss Aveline. So, leave the manor before you get into more trouble.”
Vivianne’s mind went blank in the face of Charlotte’s unyielding stance. Humiliation and shame brought her to the brink, but she knew she had to hurry up and explain herself.
But it was difficult to find even the beginning of the tangled thread. If only she could leave this place as Charlotte demanded—if only she could escape to Edwin—she might finally reunite with her parents, whom she had been desperately searching for, and there would be no more guilt gnawing at her every time she looked into those blue eyes. She would also have the hope of building a life again.
“… I have a debt.”
Through trembling breaths, she forced her scattered thoughts into a single explanation.
“My mother owes the Duke money, and for some reason, she hasn’t been able to return yet. So, I decided to take responsibility for paying the interest on the debt. I don’t really have any credit, so the Duke is letting me stay here out of consideration… or something like that. It’s not for any other reason. The kind of things you’re thinking, Miss Windler… haven’t happened and won’t happen.”
Vivianne defended herself vehemently. She didn’t want to be defined as some kind of scandalous woman under Charlotte’s unfair assumptions. She had lost everything, but she had to protect her last remaining pride.
“Then how do you explain the scarf and the tie?”
That was as far as she could go. There was no way forward. Her lips, unable to find an answer, opened and closed like a fish gasping for air. Meanwhile, the fire consuming her heart turned to ash, piling layer upon layer inside her.
“Then let me ask you this instead: are you actually repaying the debt to the Duke?”
Could this be the breakthrough? Thinking she had been offered a good question, Vivianne answered immediately.
“Yes. I’m doing my best… as much as I can…”
“How? Are you selling your embroidery to pay off the debt? Do you really think selling something so trivial will make a dent in what you owe?”
There was no escape from this question either. The overwhelming sense of helplessness dragged her into an endless downward spiral of despair. There were no excuses left. At this rate, Charlotte would only see her as someone who had thrown herself at the Duke to preserve her noble dignity.
“Can’t answer that either, can you? Even you know that it sounds absurd. You understand, don’t you, that selling embroidery to pay off a debt is laughable?”
Charlotte sighed, looking bored by Vivianne’s absent-minded expression.
“I don’t want to get involved with someone like you. The kind of person who would do anything to survive. So don’t ever talk to me again. It’s embarrassing to even look at you.”
Charlotte, who stabbed Vivianne repeatedly with the cruelest words, turned and walked away. Vivianne watched her small figure grow distant, then collapsed to the ground. It felt as if someone deep underground was grabbing her ankles and pulling her down. Or perhaps she was bound in shackles, taunting her to bear their weight.
If only she could cry—it might feel a little better. But her gray, dry eyes held no tears. It was as if a massive rock was lodged in her throat, and everything she wanted to scream remained trapped inside.
After finishing a walk that brought her nothing, Vivianne dragged her heavy feet back to the manor. Her body and mind felt disconnected, the soft green fabric of her dress swaying faintly at her feet like a dream. Then reality returned as she bumped into Edwin again in the hallway where she had seen him earlier.
She immediately turned away as Edwin approached, holding a book that might as well have been a law tome. Exiting the main hallway, she headed to the right. She hid behind a pillar in the much narrower corridor but even leaning against it was too much for her, so she slowly sank to the floor.
The bullet mark on her dress—Edwin’s mark—became clearer. She pulled at the tattered hem of her skirt. She had been in a daze ever since Edwin had grabbed her body yesterday.
If she had reconciled with Charlotte, perhaps her feelings would have changed. But not only had they failed to reconcile, she had only earned unwanted misunderstandings.
Maybe I should just cry. Instead of feeling trapped in an endless wave of helplessness whenever I think of the man who grabbed me and looked down on me.
So that I can protest with tears filled with anger, instead of circling endlessly in a dark cave, misunderstood as someone who gave herself to the man who holds my life in his hands.
Yes. That’s what I should do. Let’s cry… cry it all out.
Vivianne pulled her knees up and buried her face in them. But a huge lump in her chest blocked her tears.
“So, leave the manor before you get into more trouble.”
Should I leave? Should I run away? Will everything be okay if I disappear to a place where no one can find me? Would the Duke come after me? And if he did, what would happen then?
Someone was whispering in her ears. Was it an angel? A demon? Who was tempting her to flee from the trap-like manor?
The flood of unanswered questions came to an abrupt halt when something heavy and blunt suddenly struck her head. Startled, Vivianne lifted her hand to the top of her head. Standing before her was Edwin, leaning against the pillar and pulling away a thick book. Even under his lowered eyelids, his long, dense eyelashes cast deep shadows.
Before she could think of getting up, his hand abruptly reached out, grabbed her arm, and pulled her to her feet. Vivianne stood, unwillingly.
“Do you have something to say to me?”
Her voice, hardened by yesterday’s events, was dry and curt. She instinctively took a step back, unwilling to let Edwin get any closer, a fact he noticed but chose not to challenge. He made no effort to close the distance either.
“Not particularly.”
His calm blue eyes murmured quietly.
“I don’t know why you followed me all the way here, but if you have nothing to say, I’ll be going now.”
“Wasn’t it you who had something to say?”
As she was about to bow her head, his unexpected question caught her off guard. Who had chased whom all the way here? And yet, the Duke was now asking if she had something to say.
“At first, I thought you were avoiding me.”
“So now you’re saying I wasn’t? I was avoiding you, Your Grace.”
“If you were going to avoid me, you shouldn’t have been so annoying, Miss Aveline.”
Edwin deliberately stepped closer. Though not as close as when he had grabbed her before, Vivianne flinched and took a step back. In her haste, her right heel caught on her left foot, causing her to stumble. Fortunately, she didn’t fall. After regaining her balance, she moved farther away.
“It’s contradictory to claim you’re avoiding me when you make yourself stand out more than anyone else.”
As he moved closer again, his hand reached for her skirt. Vivianne tried to evade him, but Edwin was quicker. Just as he had done yesterday, he grabbed her skirt.
“Please… let go. I’m afraid someone might see.”
Vivianne’s face turned pale as she desperately tugged at her skirt with all her might. The veins on Edwin’s pale hand were clearly visible as he gripped the fabric tightly. The sound of rapid friction made her nervous.
“When you wear such extravagant dress as this one…”
Edwin tugged harder. Vivianne’s body jerked, though she didn’t fall into his arms.
Watching him warily, she kept her distance, determined not to let herself be overpowered by him again.
“Doesn’t avoiding me seem entirely pointless, Miss Aveline?”
Contrary to her plea, he pulled once more, causing her to stagger again.
Finally, Edwin released her skirt, and the sudden recoil sent Vivianne stumbling two steps back.
Edwin stared directly into her defiant gray eyes and burst out laughing in amusement. His blue eyes, reminiscent of the waters of Lake Lannoy but as cold as winter, reflected the guilt Vivianne felt deep inside. Unable to bear it, she lowered her head.
The sound of his retreating footsteps broke the tense silence. As the oppressive air lifted, Vivianne gasped for air and sank to the floor once more.
Today had been full of events that had left her legs weak and trembling.
