05. Worship
Gather together and come; assemble, you fugitives from the nations. Ignorant are those who carry about idols of wood, who pray to gods that cannot save.
[Isaiah 45:20]
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Chapter 97
After finishing dinner, Yongcheol approached me after sending Yeon and Jun inside.
“Hey, hey. Min Ahyeon.”
Yongcheol glanced at me as he spoke.
“What’s going on between you and General Shin? Did something happen?”
So he’s been restless like a dog with an itchy butt because he was curious. I snickered and casually replied.
“Oh, we fought because that jerk said something rude. End of story. Are you done?”
“No need to be so sarcastic just because I asked out of curiosity…”
Embarrassed by my sarcasm, Yongcheol sat down on the sofa opposite me. Then he handed me a glass filled with warm mulled wine.
“Just in case, I wanted to ask again.”
I sipped the mulled wine and raised my eyebrows. Then Yongcheol opened his mouth.
“Your car?”
Ah.
Damn it.
“No, didn’t you go to the Gwanak gate to get your car? You said you’d get my jeep rebuilt… Hey. You forgot, didn’t you.”
I smiled brightly as if I hadn’t been sarcastic at all and deliberately shrugged.
“Something like that did happen, Yongcheol. Your sister had a really tough time in Gwanak.”
Yongcheol’s face immediately turned red, then he freaked out shortly after.
“Whatever, hardship or not, give me back my car!”
“Haahh, there was something else, let me tell you. Really crazy kids.”
“Min Ahyeon!”
“Savior or something.”
“…Huh?”
Yongcheol, who had been yelling, suddenly clamped his mouth shut when the word “Savior” came out.
“Savior? You mean that religious group? They came to our store not too long ago.”
What?
I leaned forward, resting my butt on the edge of the sofa.
“Tell me in detail.”
“Why the scary face all of a sudden?”
“Just tell me.”
It’s only natural that I’m acting so sensitive about this. After the shit that went down at the Gwanak shelter, there’s no way those bastards could have come here without a hitch.
“No, it was nothing really. They were just like the usual people who came here. Had some drinks, asked some questions, gave some encouragement, and left. That’s it.”
“How did you know they were the Savior? And what did they ask?”
“One question at a time. They mentioned they were Savior, so that’s how I knew. If they hadn’t said anything, I wouldn’t have known.”
I furrowed my brows, repeatedly clenching and unclenching my hands.
“So. What did they ask?”
“They showed some kind of picture and asked if I knew about it.”
“Show me.”
“Hey! They took it with them!”
Yongcheol hurriedly added.
“It was a wing shape. Just one wing.”
One wing. It seemed familiar yet unfamiliar.
Memories are always subjective and lack objectivity, so even if it was a picture I hadn’t seen before, I could mistake it as something familiar. So I made a mental note of what Yongcheol said, so I could react immediately if I saw a similar picture next time.
I sat back upright and asked again.
“And they didn’t say anything else?”
“Just that Yeon and Jun were cute. That’s it, then they left.”
“…..”
I didn’t think that was the end of it. If I really believed they simply came to ask about a ‘picture’, I’d be too naive. There’s no way that’s all there was to it.
Suddenly, I had the thought that their visit was a warning to me. That they know where I live, my friends, my people—a warning not to overstep. The question was just an excuse.
Ah, as that thought crossed my mind, I let out a sigh and brushed my hair back.
“I’m heading out tomorrow, by the way. Won’t be back for a while.”
“Yeah, I know. Get a car while you’re at it.”
“That damn car, seriously! Anyway, since I’ll be gone, secure the place properly. Stock up on guns too. You know what I mean?”
While I was saying all this, Yongcheol’s expression also turned serious. He withdrew the smile from his lips and said.
“From what I know, they don’t seem to be that dangerous. What’s the problem?”
“You’re disqualified as an informant, Yongcheol. There are no more dangerous people than those bastards.”
“Yikes.”
Seeing Yongcheol’s face crease, I bit my fingernails.
“Moving the store…it’s not possible, damn it. We can’t move without permission.”
Shelters are strictly managed under the military, so there is no freedom of residence. We can’t move houses or leave the shelter arbitrarily. It’s for public safety, but it’s useless when safety seems to disappear like now.
That made me think of Shin Hae-jun, but I quickly dismissed the thought. After our huge fight, I was in no position to ask him a favor. And I had no plans to see him again after this was over anyway.
“I’m sorry. If I hadn’t fought with Shin Hae-jun, I could have asked him.”
“No, hey. Why are you apologizing? Don’t do that. I’m really scared something might happen.”
“Secure the place properly. Got it?”
“Y-yeah.”
We witnessed the anxiety and unease on each other’s faces, but chose not to mention it and quickly changed the subject instead. We had to.
“So, where are you going tomorrow?”
“Taean.”
“Oh, the squid there was delicious.”
“Will there be any now?”
“Just saying.”
So we spent the night making this kind of pointless small talk, deliberately ignoring our unease, deliberately trying to think nothing would happen.
But the more we talked, the more anxious we became. So, I had to make a decision.
I had to ask for help.
Ah, not from Shin Hae-jun.
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Screech!
The large Jeep Wagoneer driven by Oh Habin stopped in front of Yongcheol’s store. Shin Hae-jun, sitting in the passenger seat, rolled down the window and stared intently at the store entrance. Then he glanced down and checked his wristwatch.
About 3 minutes left until the agreed meeting time. Min Ahyeon wasn’t someone who showed up exactly on time for appointments. She tended to come out before the scheduled time, waiting for the other person. Unlike Shin Hae-jun, who always arrives 10-20 minutes late, she was different from these small things.
So maybe she couldn’t understand me even more.
Shin Hae-jun recalled Ahyeon from yesterday. Ahyeon seemed to not understand how Shin Hae-jun, ‘being the same experimental subject, became a loyal dog to the military’, but Shin Hae-jun wondered the opposite—how could she, as a fellow experimental subject, be so fearless. This was the difference between compliance and defiance.
Having spent a long time as an experimental subject, Shin Hae-jun chose compliance as a way to survive. He had to comply to get food, to sleep, to avoid pain. Yes, that’s how he betrayed his friend by complying.
But Ahyeon was different. Ahyeon chose defiance as a way to survive. She acted as if the time spent trapped in a glass tube was her last compliance in life. Wasn’t joining the military to search for the research facility, straight after getting out into the world, far from compliance but rather defiance of reality?
So, Shin Hae-jun, whenever he saw her… a part of his heart stirred uneasily.
Should I have lived like that too? Should I have acted like Min Ahyeon? Could I have saved my friend that way?
No, no… no matter how much he thought about it, it was impossible. How could Min Ahyeon live like that? Why could she stand so upright without bowing to anyone? Why could she say no to wrong and yes to right? Why, what makes you different from me?
After long contemplation on what made Ahyeon and himself so different, Shin Hae-jun finally reached a conclusion.
Ahyeon and I simply live in different universes. There was no intersection between Ahyeon’s world and his own. That’s why Ahyeon could live upright despite being an experimental subject, while he lived like this because he was a test subject.
“Hah.”
Shin Hae-jun let out a hollow laugh. Now that he had sorted out his thoughts, he felt pathetic for having wanted to feel camaraderie with Ahyeon as a fellow experimental subject. What a fool. Shin Hae-jun clicked his tongue in self-mockery.
“Oh, Lieutenant Min… no, Min Ahyeon is here.”
Snapping to attention at Oh Habin’s words, Shin Hae-jun looked past the car window. He saw Min Ahyeon approaching, a backpack slung over her shoulder. The dark circles under her eyes and haggard appearance showed she too had stayed up like him last night.
Shin Hae-jun raised his chin, and Habin immediately unlocked the car. Ahyeon, who had been heading for the passenger seat, saw Shin Hae-jun and opened the rear door instead. The moment she did, a curt curse slipped through her lips.
“This… crazy…”
Ahyeon yelled at Shin Hae-jun.
“Didn’t you say Lieutenant Seo would be here!”
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