Chapter 77
Shin Hae-jun and Oh Habin find themselves in quite a tricky situation.
“Ah, damn it! Who let those bastards in? Huh? Was it you?”
“Can’t we just kill those fucking bastards?”
The reason for the strong backlash from people as soon as they entered the Gwanak Shelter was clear.
“Ah! But they said they need to confirm something, so how can we stop them?”
“What do they need to fucking confirm! Have they ever contributed anything to keep us alive?”
“Why can’t we stop them! Just kill them all!”
Their anger was not directed at Shin Hae-jun and Habin themselves, but rather at the organization they belonged to—the military.
In fact, this immense outrage they displayed was understandable. Why were there separate groups like the Seoul Shelter and others to begin with? Wasn’t it because the government and military, utterly failing to stop the incoming infected, abandoned everyone except their own bases?
People still remember. The numerous refugees heading towards the government forces stationed in Jongno. The hundreds of thousands crossing the Han River bridges. And the thousands of missiles raining down on their heads.
It was unavoidable, they said.
Due to the incubation period of infection, they could not distinguish infected from uninfected, so people could not be let into shelters. But allowing them to gather was simply a nuisance, they said. So go back, go back… If they didn’t go back, there was no choice. The bridge explosions, the shredded flesh and blood splattering created a scene of utter hell. Were there any survivors amidst that? No, there were none.
Those who couldn’t cross witnessed the colorful explosions from the other side of the river. The unlucky ones who managed to cross could only tremble helplessly, unable to go anywhere. The government had abandoned its people. There was no one to protect us. Yes, being unable to enter the Seoul Shelter meant enduring that sense of betrayal, despair and rage.
The people of Gwanak Shelter were one of the groups carrying that bundle of emotions. As such, they utterly despised the military, so much that they spoke of wanting to kill any soldiers they saw.
In front of these people stood Shin Hae-jun and Oh Habin.
“Excuse me. Are you listening to what we’re saying?”
A woman wearing large glasses approached Shin Hae-jun and Habin.
“So, please leave now. If you stay here any longer, it won’t be pretty.”
She seemed to be holding onto her sanity amidst the agitated crowd, but her trembling voice and unfocused eyes suggested she was barely containing her excitement. So Habin sensed the situation, and Shin Hae-jun responded as gently as possible.
“We’ll just find one person and leave. Please allow us to check inside for a moment.”
He gestured towards the library, but the woman remained stubborn.
“Didn’t you hear? It won’t be pretty.”
“We’ll just find one person,”
“Ah! Damn it! Just get lost, will you!”
Unable to contain herself any longer, the woman exploded, stomping her feet and tearing at her hair.
“I’m going crazy every time I see your faces! Get out! Get out of here!”
Repeatedly slapping her head and cheeks as if harming herself, she glared at Shin Hae-jun with tears in her eyes.
“My parents exploded right in front of me. You know? Our parents who said we’d be fine once we crossed this bridge, they died just like that! It’s because of you! Because of you!”
Shin Hae-jun’s fingertips twitched, not out of guilt for her resentment, but because he couldn’t comprehend it at all.
Why was it his fault? Was the outbreak of the infected his doing? No. If he had just sat idly by as the infected came pouring in, would any survivors be left like this? No. The choices they made were truly unavoidable. They had to do that in order to protect at least some people and maintain at least the shell of a government.
Why can’t they think rationally? Why are they so emotionally driven? It was difficult for Shin Hae-jun to understand them as they were. But that didn’t mean he could openly express such thoughts. No, for now, he just had to stay quiet.
“Keep your mouth shut in front of people.”
“Once the government recovers, we’ll be the ones in power.”
“Public sentiment. Right. We have to win over public sentiment, don’t we?”
It was because of his stepfather, Shin Gi-tae’s order.
So he couldn’t just enter the library where Ahyeon was, and he had to listen to people’s complaints until the end. If it were up to his temper, he would have shoved his gun barrel in and forced his way through long ago.
“Be nice, understand?”
Shin Hae-jun clenched his fist again, recalling Shin Gi-tae’s words once more. Then, the woman shouted again.
“Hey. Why are you keeping your mouth shut? Say it, the excuses you’re good at. You have those, don’t you? ‘It couldn’t be helped, we had to sacrifice the minority for the majority’, ‘Thanks to what we did, we could protect the people in Gangbuk’, spout that bullshit!”
Aaack! Screaming and raging, the woman whipped her head around and glared at Oh Habin this time. Habin had kept his gaze lowered the whole time, but even that seemed to displease her.
“And why are you acting like that? Huh? You didn’t know anything, you just followed orders, is that it? Huh? Damn it, is that the end of it if you say that? Huh?”
“Joo-young. That’s enough.”
Then, a man with a neat appearance appeared and grabbed the arm of the woman named Joo-young.
“Just looking at him, he seems too young to know anything. Right? He probably just did what he was told. Getting angry at a kid like that won’t change anything. The real ones you should be angry at are……”
The man turned his gaze towards Shin Hae-jun.
“General Shin Hae-jun, right?”
Shin Hae-jun didn’t answer, but the man didn’t seem to expect a reply since Shin Hae-jun’s face was already well-known. He grinned and spoke in a slightly louder voice.
“You have quite a fierce look in your eyes. You might just kill us all at this rate. Ah, that’s right. You can kill us, can’t you? Since you’re the brigadier general. Killing a few civilians wouldn’t be a problem, right?”
Shin Hae-jun took a deep breath. He recalled it again. Be nice, with the mindset of being a public servant. He recited the order.
“Our military is doing its best to protect the citizens.”
“What bullshit.”
“Our military has been conducting operations to eliminate the infected while striving to protect civilians……”
“Aaack! I don’t want to hear it! Get out! Leave!”
Joo-young screamed as if having a fit, but Shin Hae-jun’s expression remained unchanged. He had only come here to find Min Ahyeon, meaning to find Ahyeon who was likely doing something inside the library at this very moment. So, no matter what happened, he had to find Ahyeon and take her away.
“I’ll just look for one person and leave.”
“I told you it’s not possible.”
“I’ll just go in for a moment and come back out.”
“I said it’s not possible!”
Shin Hae-jun’s jaw muscles tightened visibly, clearly enraged. At that, the man burst into mocking laughter.
“Why, you could just kill them and go in?”
It’s not like Shin Hae-jun never momentarily had that thought. But didn’t he say it already? Shin Hae-jun was already following Shin Kit-ae’s orders.
He must not harm civilians. Why? Because they can’t let the military suffer damage when the government is rebuilt later.
He must not show a violent side in front of civilians again. Why? Because we need them.
Shin Hae-jun slowly closed his eyes. Not knowing Ahyeon’s current state, he felt frustrated just wasting time like this. But what angered him most was that it was solely because of ‘orders’ that he had to stand rooted here like a statue.
“I’ll ask you a favor,”
“Um.”
It was Oh Habin, who had remained silent until then, who cut off Shin Hae-jun’s words.
Habin stepped forward toward the people with a resolute expression, and they rolled their eyes a bit fearfully at his approach. But the words from Habin’s mouth were completely different from expectations.
“I, I don’t feel no guilt just because I followed orders, you know.”
Habin swallowed hard as he wiped his trembling hands over his face.
“Following orders was my choice. I didn’t directly push the missile button, but I did participate in indirect mass killings. That was me.”
He let out a few dry coughs as if feeling nauseous, then lowered his head again.
“So, as a result of that choice, I’ve been carrying the guilt every single day.”
Habin had been plagued by nightmares ever since that day—the day the bridge was blown up, people were dying, and amidst all that, they were fighting the infected while building higher and higher concrete barricades. Thoughts like ‘I killed them. I chose to kill them. I’m a criminal too. I’m a murderer…’ tormented him constantly.
“We all feel that way. We’re all like that.”
Oh Habin said, looking at Shin Hae-jun. It was a look that said, “You’re the same as me.”
However, Shin Hae-jun had never thought the same way as Habin. Guilt? Wasn’t sacrificing the few for the greater good only natural? The ones being irrational were these people and Habin’s strange reasoning. Shin Hae-jun let out a sigh.
“So please, just let me go in. I need to find my nuna.”
“……”
Perhaps the people hesitated, glancing around, perhaps somewhat swayed by Oh Habin’s words.
But someone shouted from behind.
“Do you believe these bastards? No! Absolutely not!”
The atmosphere shifted again. The people glared fiercely as they advanced toward Shin Hae-jun and Habin.
“Get out! Get out of here!”
“Scram, you bastards!”
Pushed back by the crowd, Hae0jun gripped his gun tightly before loosening his grip.
“Be kind to the citizens.”
He couldn’t defy Shin Gi-tae’s words. Following his orders was non-negotiable. So…
“Sergeant Oh. It seems better to withdraw for now and try again later.”
Bang!
Shin Hae-jun’s words were cut off. Bang! Bang! Gunshots rang out consecutively from inside the library.
Min Ahyeon was inside that building.
And those gunshots didn’t come from Ahyeon’s revolver she always carried.
So then there was a problem with Ahyeon…!
Shin Hae-jun looked around frantically. But because the crowd blocked them, he couldn’t rush into the library. Should he use force against them?
“Be kind.”
He couldn’t do that. I, I can’t do anything….
Bang!
Another gunshot rang out.
This time, not from inside the library.
But from the handgun Oh Habin was holding.
“I said we need to go in.”
Without hesitation, Habin aimed his gun at the people and shouted.
“Get out of the way!”
He then hurried into the library.
“Ahyeon Nuna!”
What Shin Hae-jun couldn’t bring himself to do—to find Ahyeon…
Shin Hae-jun could only blankly watch Habin’s back as he ran further away. He had no choice but to do so.
🕂
Thank you for reading! ♡
