“Episode 21”
“Could you grant me two requests?”
When Prince Joshua opened his mouth casually, halfway through his cocktail, Daphne decided to hear him out.
“Let’s hear it.”
Though he apologized abruptly, the fact remained that he had indeed helped her. If she had incited violence against a prince, she could have faced several years in prison or even execution. And her brother’s stern gaze would have been an added bonus.
“First, would you dance the first dance with me at tonight’s ball?”
Isn’t that something I should be doing rather than Prince Joshua? If I really wanted to fawn over someone, I should have done it differently. Then maybe I wouldn’t have felt so suffocated.
“He’s really handsome, but why do I feel so annoyed?”
Seemingly realizing her self-deprecation, he gently took her hand.
“Is it not possible?”
He even had a cute expression—was it okay to use such a term for him?
“No, it’s not that it’s not possible. It’s just that it feels strange because Prince, Your Highness, is trying to do only good things for me.”
“Why is that strange?”
“We haven’t known each other for long.”
It would have been more refreshing if I were a spirit and needed him, but Joshua didn’t seem like that kind of person. But Joshua seemed visibly crestfallen at my words.
“It hasn’t been that long for me.”
“…Ah, I’m sorry.”
“I’m not trying to hear an apology.”
When the big handsome guy looked gloomy, I unexpectedly found it cute.
“You might have thought little of it, but it meant a lot to me.”
Joshua squeezed my hand tighter as he spoke.
“The time I spent following you around at the Blantay Manor, that was as meaningful as anything else. It was a time when I could forget about the palace and the name of prince.”
“Uh…”
“And kind Alicia never once told me not to follow you. Even though she pretended to be annoyed for a moment.”
Laughter erupted from him as if his throat was hoarse.
“I even wanted to see what it was like to be a guard for once, and I couldn’t just leave you alone. Even though it was just a clumsy excuse, you accepted it.”
“That’s…”
“You were so kind and affectionate to people that I couldn’t help but admire you. I could have followed you forever.”
“I feel like you’re looking at me too kindly, Your Highness.”
It was embarrassing to the point of being blush-worthy. But it was just their way, so there was nothing I could do about it.
“Well, and Blantay also did so much for you just because you were friends from childhood.”
That’s a bit different.
I did it because I wanted to fawn over him.
“To me, except for his face…”
I stopped myself mid-sentence when I saw Joshua’s lips close shut.
I was rather puzzled by his reaction.
I came all the way here because of his damned face.
“Did I say something like that before?”
“Yes, you even said that his face was the most important thing.”
I felt a rush of heat from my toes to my head at Joshua’s nonchalant words.
Where did I waver from and to…!
“Anyway, so are you really going to refuse? I really want to repay kind Alicia, who looked after me in my childhood, even though I only caused trouble.”
His purple eyes sparkled with earnestness.
If he came out like that, how could I refuse? No, rather, I should be the one begging…!
“I wish Lucas Medley could have felt the hardships of society too.”
There are many things in the world that don’t go as planned, and I wanted to break through the solid greenhouse walls that had kept me sheltered.
I nodded with a cool face and asked him again.
“What is your second request, Your Highness?”
The music started.
Joshua skillfully led the dance, wrapping his hand around mine and placing his hand on my waist.
“It’s been a while since I received such openly hostile glances,” he remarked as he shifted his weight to the right.
“His Majesty Lucas tends to be quite honest with his emotions,” I replied.
“Yes, my brother doesn’t know how to hide his feelings. Not very noble-like, indeed.”
Even when the tempo faltered slightly, Joshua noticed and seamlessly continued the dance.
“Rather than that, are you not going to keep calling me?”
As he lightly spun me, Joshua gazed at me as if urging me.
So, the second request was exactly this.
“Do you feel comfortable calling me by my name when we’re alone?”
“Well, yes.”
“Then may I ask for your permission to address you as Alicia? Allow me to call you by your name.”
“Yes, go ahead.”
Up to that point, it was nothing out of the ordinary. He was a prince after all, and being called “Miss Alicia” seemed rather lukewarm, so being called by name was more comfortable.
“Then please call me Joshua as well.”
“Huh?”
“It’s only fair, isn’t it? It feels a bit odd for me to call you by name while you address me formally as ‘Your Highness.'”
I wanted to shout, “No, you’re the prince and I’m a noble lady. There’s a difference in status!” But under Joshua’s soft words, all I could do was nod obediently.
However, it felt awkward to say the least, and I subtly avoided using his title, which seemed to disappoint him.
“Are you really going to continue calling me Miss Alicia?”
“I quite like it. That’s why I call you that way.”
“You have a strange hobby.”
“Memories are beautiful, aren’t they?”
He chuckled softly.
On one hand, I felt relieved. If all royalty were as simple as Lucas, this country would be in big trouble.
“Originally, the plan was to make Lucas the emperor because that was the only way he could survive.”
It was a plan that had since been discarded, but at one point, I almost ruined the country with my fangirling.
Thinking about it now, I’m the villain of the century, aren’t I?
But as my thoughts cleared, I also felt somewhat relieved.
“However, if I call you that way, it could cause quite a stir.”
“A stir? How so?”
“Many journalists are present at the National Ball. Just by dancing with Your Highness, tomorrow’s newspapers will be beautifully decorated.”
“That’s quite an honor.”
An honor!
I glanced at Joshua’s foot momentarily before giving up.
“I won’t interfere this time like last time. Besides, it’s something I can hardly stop anyway.”
“I’m not hoping for you to stop me, either. And I’m not so irresponsible as to not keep my word.”
“What do you mean…?”
“You said you would handle everything even without me trying.”
Wasn’t I just talking about that situation?
But within his gentle gaze, it was difficult to find any falsehood or hypocrisy.
Lucas’s usual gaze was nowhere to be found in his eyes.
“I never had any intention of stopping you.”
“Oh…”
“Are you trying to use me, Alicia?”
“Use you?”
“Of course, if you truly don’t want to do anything for His Majesty, then I’ll stop as well.”
When Joshua said that, the music gradually came to an end.
He gracefully finished the dance and then, ignoring the curious glances that followed us, guided me to the terrace area.
After closing the door with a soft click and drawing the curtains, he spoke in a low voice.
“If not, then I want to help you.”
“Help me?”
“Perhaps no one knows better than you, Alicia, how much effort you’ve put into His Majesty.”
His previously gentle face sharpened.
A sense of impatience seemed to emanate subtly from him.
“Yet it seems he hasn’t noticed your affection at all.”
“Even if that’s true…”
“Because then you might be able to endure it.”
“What?”
“Left alone, the young lady from your childhood might make a choice that would torment her.”
As autumn crept in, the night breeze brushed past the terrace, sending a chill through the air.
Was it the movement of my determined spirit, or was it encouragement pushing me forward?
Although he hadn’t said much, I felt like I might burst into tears and confess strange emotions.
“You’re capable of doing anything on your own, but I’ll be relieved if you do nothing. But…”
Joshua’s finger reached my ear.
As he tidied up my hair that was swept by the wind, he continued speaking.
“Alicia, you’re not thinking about what will happen after everything ends. Just like you said to His Majesty Lucas earlier.”
Today, my heart felt truly strange.
At Joshua’s prodding words, I almost wanted to cry right then and there.
As he said, it would be nice if I could just ignore whatever Lucas did, but I already felt unjust and angry.
That child made me feel this way.
She messed up all the emotions I cherished, making me defend myself and protect myself.
At times like this, I no longer wanted to choose the path of patience and endurance.
No, I realized that she wouldn’t just leave me alone, not after the letter incident, not after the condemning gazes at the ball.
Lucas had no intention of answering me, only of using me until the end.
So, I didn’t think like Joshua said.
Not the me who would crumble everything I had carefully built, not the me after everything ended.
The me who suppressed my emotions, Joshua pulled me in and hugged me tightly.
“So, use me, Alicia.”
