Chapter 17
After Richard discovered my illness, I didn’t see him for a while.
It was, in a way, a relief.
Facing him after he had uncovered everything I had been hiding wasn’t exactly comforting.
Thanks to Olivier, who was overly protective of me, I had to spend three days idly lying in bed.
But staying in bed is something only those who are used to it can tolerate.
Lying down all the time made my back ache, and I felt suffocated.
Besides, my symptoms had greatly improved thanks to the palliative medicine Dr. Norman had given me, so I could easily walk around the mansion. I couldn’t understand why they insisted on keeping me confined to bed…
Of course, I could understand a little.
They were probably worried that something might happen to me. I knew that all this stemmed from their concern for me.
However, I had lived a life of neglect for over ten years.
After my mother passed away and my father seized all the power, the maids who had been close to me were driven out for absurd reasons, and the new maids, wary of my father, treated me coldly.
Expecting any kind of kindness from them was a stretch.
After all, they were employed by my father.
Because of this, the concern shown to me by the Theodore’s household was unfamiliar and awkward.
Unable to bear spending any more time in bed, I sat up.
Resting for a day or two is one thing, but doing it continuously was driving me crazy.
Moreover, I felt uncomfortable, as if I was falling behind on the tasks I needed to complete.
“Madam!”
Olivier hurriedly approached when she saw me trying to get out of bed.
“Are you feeling unwell?”
Olivier seemed worried that I might collapse if I moved.
I was truly grateful for her concern, but I couldn’t just stay put.
“No, I want to go outside. I have things to do.”
“But you’re not well; you need to rest…”
I firmly grasped Olivier’s hand, which was trying to stop me.
“No, if I keep staying like this, even a healthy body will become weak. Please, just let me go.”
Moved by my plea, Olivier finally nodded.
“Then, I’ll follow you.”
“Of course.”
Olivier told me to wait for a moment and then returned with a few maids.
There were about six of them, and I nodded in acknowledgment.
If this would ease Olivier’s worries, moving around with them wasn’t a bad idea.
After all, I wasn’t uncomfortable having attendants follow me.
“Where would you like to go?”
“Hmm…”
My initial goal was simply to get out of bed.
Next, I wanted to finish the list I had started writing.
I was about to head straight to my study when I hesitated.
“Let’s go to Richard’s study first.”
I hadn’t seen him in a few days, so I thought it would be good to show my face.
Even though he had said he would get the medicine for me and that he wanted me to live, I didn’t fully believe that those were his genuine feelings.
Perhaps he thought he needed to keep me alive until he got what he wanted from me.
Even if he had said those things with the intention of using me, it didn’t make me particularly sad.
After all, that was the kind of relationship Richard and I had.
But when I arrived at his study, it was empty.
After all the effort to get here, I felt deflated by the wasted trip.
Having no other choice, I began to wander, wondering where to go next.
As I walked, I naturally found myself strolling through the mansion’s garden, and the sound of a horse’s hooves led me to the stables.
The stables of the Theodore estate housed around twenty horses.
Among them was Lana, the horse I had ridden with Richard last time.
Lana stood out more than the other horses due to her bright, radiant coat.
“Madam, are you feeling alright now?”
The stableman I had met before came running up to me, clasping his hands together, and asked, “Are you feeling alright now, Madam?”
I suddenly remembered that it was he who had carried me back to the mansion when I collapsed, and I smiled softly.
“I heard that you carried me back to the mansion. Richard may have already rewarded you, but I will make sure to reward you myself soon.”
“Oh, Madam, it’s enough that you’re alright. I was just doing what I had to.”
“What’s your name?”
“Derren, Madam.”
“Alright, Derren. I’ll be in touch soon.”
After finishing his greeting, Derren brought Lana to me.
As I gently stroked Lana’s muzzle, we shared a moment of connection. It was as if Lana knew I had collapsed; she cautiously turned her head toward me and blinked quietly.
I hadn’t realized before how endearing horses could be.
Then, I suddenly noticed that Richard’s black horse wasn’t in the stable.
“Now that I think about it, where’s Richard’s black horse?”
“The Count took his horse and left early this morning, Madam.”
“Did he?”
“Yes, Madam.”
No wonder he wasn’t in his office.
It seemed Richard was out, just as Derren had said, which explained why I couldn’t find him.
“Well, I’ll come back later then. Please take good care of Lana.”
After bidding Derren farewell, I left the stable.
I couldn’t help but wonder why Richard, who usually spent all his time in his office, was out today.
“Olivier, do you happen to know where Richard went?”
“No, I’m sorry, Madam. I don’t,” Olivier replied apologetically.
But I understood why Olivier didn’t know.
She was by my side all day, so she wouldn’t have been able to keep track of Richard’s whereabouts as he moved around.
I had intended to at least show my face, but I felt disappointed that I hadn’t been able to run into Richard at all.
I probably shouldn’t have pushed myself to come out, especially when I wasn’t feeling well.
Just then, I ran into Richard as he was coming through the main gate.
His black horse from the other day was with him.
“Diarna? What are you doing here?” Richard asked, displeased at seeing me wandering around.
“I noticed you were gone, so I thought I’d look for you.”
But Richard looked at me with a puzzled expression.
“You were looking for me? Why?”
“I realized I hadn’t thanked you for your concern.”
“That was unnecessary,” Richard replied curtly.
I felt hurt by his cold response, even though I had come to express my gratitude. But I didn’t let it show.
“Were you out somewhere?” I asked.
“There was something I needed to take care of.”
“Would it be alright if I asked what it was?”
Richard remained silent for a moment before speaking.
“I went to look into getting your medicine.”
Contrary to my expectation that he wouldn’t tell me, Richard answered straightforwardly.
His words were so unexpected that I was momentarily stunned.
“My medicine?”
“Yes. It’s called the Rosier flower. There was an auction in the territory today, so I went to see if it might be available.”
I looked at him, astonished by his words.
Richard shook his head as if it was nothing.
“There’s no need to look so moved. I didn’t succeed.”
Even though he had failed, the fact that he had thought of me was enough to move me.
“It’s a rare flower that might bloom once every hundred years, so it’s alright if we don’t find it in this lifetime.”
I said this to assure him that I wasn’t disappointed, but Richard seemed displeased by my words.
He frowned in disapproval.
“You have a way of deflating people’s spirits even when they’re trying to help.”
I had to admit, it was probably disheartening for him to hear such dismissive words when he was trying to be considerate.
“…I’m sorry.”
I awkwardly smiled and apologized to him.
“So, you wanted to see me to have tea together?” Richard asked, crossing his legs and taking a sip of tea after lightly inhaling its aroma.
I was momentarily mesmerized by his graceful and elegant movements before snapping back to reality.
“Yes. I’ve been so bored lately. Everyone’s treating me like a patient.”
I avoided saying that I wanted to make an appearance because I didn’t want to hear any unnecessary remarks.
Richard tilted his head, listening to my explanation.
“But you are a patient, aren’t you? In fact, you look like the most serious patient I’ve seen in years.”
“Well, that’s true.”
My point was that I was exhausted from being treated like a patient by Olivier and the maids.
“If it’s just tea, you could have had it by yourself, couldn’t you?”
Richard looked at me with curiosity.
I leaned against the table, resting my chin on one hand, and met his gaze.
“Sure, if it were just about drinking tea. But what’s the fun in that? You know there aren’t many people I can have a conversation with here, don’t you?”
Olivier and the maids weren’t suitable conversation partners for me.
Whenever I spoke to them, they always tried to treat me with excessive reverence, so the conversation never flowed naturally.
But Richard was different.
At least, he and I were on the same level here.
“That’s true. How’s your health?”
His tone was overly formal.
To anyone else, it might have sounded as casual as commenting on the weather, but I found his indifferent concern rather endearing.
“I’m well enough to be out.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“But really, why aren’t you angry?” I suddenly asked.
Richard raised his eyebrows, looking confused.
“Why did you think I’d be angry?”
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