Chapter 11

* * *

Once Doha took on the role of Ophelia’s understudy, the first place she visited was the library.

This was because she had to rely solely on Bunny’s memories for information about this world.

Bunny was quite knowledgeable for her young age and rather clever, but she was only ten years old.

‘I’ll probably get a home tutor like before, but it’s better to study in advance.’

Doha pulled out all the basic books she could find and stacked them neatly in the cart.

-You there?

Doha was suddenly startled by a familiar voice.

-If you are, answer me.

It was a command.

‘Surprising.’

Doha retrieved the earring she had put in her pocket, momentarily forgetting about it.

While she hesitated whether to answer or not, the voice that had been urging her to respond stopped.

After a while, the child mumbled dully.

-Did you throw it away after all?

What’s ‘after all’ supposed to mean?

Doha swallowed a sigh.

In fact, she could choose to remain silent and ignore the situation.

Considering the current circumstances, ignoring it was the most sensible and rational decision.

However,

“Why?”

It was unexpected, but being misunderstood as having thrown it away after carrying it with her for so long felt unjust.

And the voice, pretending to be indifferent but carrying a resigned tone, was somehow uncomfortable to hear.

-You didn’t throw it away.

“You told me not to.”

-You didn’t even sell it.

Artifacts could fetch a good price, especially those containing magic in gems known as “mana stones.” The higher the purity, the higher the price, and they could be reused by erasing the existing magic and applying a new one.

“Why would I sell someone else’s belongings? If I do that, you’ll forever lose the chance to contact the person you’ve been waiting for.”

-…

Then, after a brief silence, he responded with a weak laugh.

-What does that have to do with you?

I think I’ll just bury it in the road.

Suppressing a strong impulse, Doha bluntly asked, “So, what’s the matter?”

-Just checking if you’re around.

It was a rather trivial matter.

However, Doha had a gut feeling that this child didn’t contact her just because he was bored.

Listening attentively to the child’s words, Doha asked, “Why does your voice sound like that?”

-What about my voice?

“It sounds completely different.”

-“It’s probably just your imagination.

It couldn’t be imagination.

Having admired the beautiful voice when she heard the last time, Doha could clearly distinguish the difference in tone.

‘Something must have happened.’

She considered asking but decided against it.

It didn’t seem like the child would easily provide an answer.

Doha roughly assessed the child.

It seemed like suppressing emotions and pretending to be indifferent had become a habit, and the child appeared incapable of revealing any emotions.

‘I must be the only person he can confide in.’

It was a conviction based on experience.

Doha recalled the image of a young child huddled in the dark, releasing only colored breaths, with dried tears and no strength to scream, saved only by the wrinkled hands of a grandmother.

That was the past Doha.

So, she decided not to push.

In situations like this, it was better to silently keep watch without saying anything.

“I’m alone too.”

-…

“No one to meet, nothing to do, just idle.”

Surprisingly, the child fell silent.

He didn’t ask how she knew he was alone.

It seemed like loners could somehow understand each other.

Doha moved to another spot, randomly picked up a book, and sat at the desk.

“I’ll be reading books alone all day today, so feel free to talk if you have anything to say.”

-…

Really silent.

It felt like the first testimony they shared was surprisingly talkative.

Looking up at the exceptionally clear sky, Doha said, “The weather is really nice today. How about outside?”

The child, who had been breathing without any response for a while, mumbled so softly that it could barely be heard when Doha listened carefully.

-The sun’s up….

It seemed like he just noticed that the sun had risen, judging by his delayed reaction.

Maybe he had looked up at the sky.

In a voice filled with cracks, he muttered.

-The sky is blue.

“Yeah, without a single cloud, high and clear, and a deep blue….”

-… There’s one cloud. It looks like a rabbit.

“In fact, that’s me.”

“… ”

The joke didn’t land with the child.

Doha threw that line, remembering the moment when the child questioned if she was a ‘rabbit’ upon hearing the name Bunny.

Even though there was no reaction, not even a disdainful one, Doha continued to flip through the pages of the book, occasionally responding to the child’s remarks with small talk.

She read for a long time.

The sharp sound of flipping paper.

The sound of the wind shaking the window.

The rustling dance of colorful fallen leaves swirling in the air.

‘It’s peaceful.’

Doha suddenly realized.

Gazing at the sky and the scenery outside the window, she wondered how long it had been since she enjoyed such leisure.

At that moment, the child suddenly spoke.

-Night will come again today.

It wasn’t a question seeking a response, but rather a muttered statement.

-Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the next day too.

Instead of giving a sarcastic remark questioning why the child would state the obvious, Doha asked a piercing question.

“Do you find the nights scary and long?”

The child, who had been consistently brief or silent, responded immediately this time.

-I dislike darkness.

“Do you find the dark scary and long?”

-I said I dislike it.

Oh, what a picky one.

Doha chuckled and said, “You know, in the winter night sky, if you look closely, there’s a rabbit floating.”

-…

“It’s true.”

Out of the blue, Doha brought up constellation stories she had fervently studied in her childhood. The reason for delving into such useless knowledge was simple: the darkest nights were the most frightening to her, and she sought ways to overcome the darkness.

“If you connect the stars in the sky with lines, they form various objects, figures, and animals, and among them, there’s a shape that looks like a rabbit.”

-So what?

“Closing your eyes won’t solve the darkness. In fact, it grows inside, feeding on anxiety, and expands even more.”

She explained in a calm voice, closing the book she had been reading.

“So, when night falls, you have to open your eyes wide and look closely at the night sky.”

Most anxieties can be resolved by facing them directly. The fear that deep darkness will engulf you is often just a misconception, and once you peer into the darkness, it might not be as daunting as it seems.

“Then, in the night sky, there will be a large, bright moon, countless stars pouring down, and a humble rabbit floating around.”

-A simple rabbit…

“When winter comes, try finding it once. Surprisingly, it might be hard to find.”

It didn’t matter if the constellations in this different world were different from what Doha knew; the most important thing was confronting the fear of darkness to find the constellations.

“That rabbit is actually me.”

Doha threw another bad joke.

“I’m watching over you from the sky.”

This time, she expected a serious response, but the child answered after a long pause with a low voice.

-Yeah…

Maybe the child willingly responded instead of remaining silent.

It pleased Doha more than she expected.

‘Huh.’

Why this warm and fuzzy feeling?

Maybe her nerves were somewhat relaxed from the distant exchange with the Three Wealthy of Cradle and dealing with the big space.

No, even way before that.

Since the time before Doha became Bunny at the end of death, from the days when she was the scapegoat of the Park family, a lot of tangled emotions in her heart seemed to be gradually melting away.

In attempting to comfort the child, she found herself being comforted instead.

Doha chuckled softly.

-Why are you laughing?

Thinking she was teasing, a straightforward response came back.

“I don’t know, it just feels good.”

-What feels good?

This moment.

This moment, talking with the unknown child without asking anything about each other, exchanging words with voices.

In this moment, Doha didn’t have to be an actress for Park Corporation’s president’s youngest daughter, or Ophelia’s understudy.

She didn’t have to analyze someone’s physiognomy and astrology just to survive.

Unable to explain everything in detail, Doha summarized her current feelings in one sentence.

“I’m just trying to make you feel better.”

They don’t even know each other’s names.

In front of this child, whom Doha knew she would never meet again, she could speak without any pretense.

“So, let’s stay in touch more often.”

-…

If they continued to communicate like this, eventually the child would open up and share their circumstances.

“It’s a bit ridiculous to initiate contact and then build a wall first, but…”

-…

She found it cute. In a way, the child was like a stray cat, and Doha felt like she was the owner who wanted to be chosen.

Perhaps they could be a hiding place for each other, where the child could catch a breath when needed, without knowing much about each other.

No, in fact, the child was already a refuge for Doha.

As she entertained these thoughts, Doha was able to let go of her anxiety and regain her composure.

‘Yeah, let’s think calmly.’

There was no need to rush.

Bunny was just ten years old, and there were still eight years until she would become an adult.

They could gradually get to know each other.

While contemplating this, suddenly the testimony ended with a simple -Yeah.

It turned out to be the response to the suggestion of staying in touch.

* * *

“Hey!”

A threateningly large stone flew and hit Damien on the head, rolling down to his feet.

Having completed the call, Damien looked down at the stone on the ground.

“You stubborn jerk. Not even a single scream.”

“Well, of course! How can a mute scream?”

“Oh, is that so?”

The children gathered on the opposite side of Damien burst into laughter.

The child slowly raised their head – a small, slender figure in ragged clothing, with a makeshift hood pulled over his head. Dusty, tangled hair covered their face, revealing only chapped lips and a slender jawline.

“Our mom came to the garbage dump because of you.”

“Yeah, it’s all because of you. Because of you, we’re starving every day!”

“Annie died because of you. You should die too!”

One child threw another stone he held in their hand.

Damien casually watched the stone fly in a graceful arc towards his head and effortlessly caught it.

Without saying a word, he turned to face the children.

“This, this monster!”

“Hey, the monster is coming to kill us!”

“Run away!”

The children, who had formed a group, screamed and scattered in all directions.

“…”

Damien, for a moment, stared at the suddenly empty alley, then focused on the child whose steps were notably slow as they gradually distanced themselves.

He reached out his hand, as if to grab the child’s throat in the empty air.

Then, as if measuring, he patted his own hand.

He was convinced that if the children had not thrown stones but had rushed towards him, he could have surely strangled several of them.

‘Monster…’

Damien wiped away a thin drop of blood running down his chin with the back of his hand.

Chaotic sounds reverberated in the ears.

The sound of swinging swords, screams as if tearing apart, the splattering sound of blood, desperate cries…

At the edge of the field of vision, structures made of garbage and makeshift tents that could hardly be called homes were tangled in disarray.

In a street where no one cared if someone died, just crouching quietly made you hate the darkness.

Hating the darkness because you couldn’t predict what you might do in its embrace.

Engulfed in uncontrollable rage, he felt like becoming the monster they talked about.

‘Winter night sky, you know, if you look closely, there’s a rabbit.’

Damien looked up at the sky.

The cloud shaped like a rabbit had dispersed in the wind, disappearing without a trace.

He probably wouldn’t see it again.

‘Rabbit constellation…’

But the stars might still be there in that spot.

The seasons in the north were harsh.

Even now, as the sun set, there was a concern about freezing to death.

Yet, while touching his reddened hands, Damien found himself thinking that he hoped winter would come.