At first, he left the conference room as usual, but then his pace quickened, and later it turned into something like running.
There are things that can only be avoided by death. For Mikhail, life itself was like that.
Born into the imperial family of the empire, he was the most outstanding among his siblings, and it was his duty to become emperor. He was confident as he looked at the map of the vast territory of the empire, but this confidence lasted only until he was ten years old, and only for a very short time.
As time passed, the more he looked at the map, the more he occasionally felt suffocated. If it weren’t for the breeze that blew at those times, he might not have been able to endure.
Ironically, it was Mikhail who most intensely wished that the greedy princes and princesses around him were bright, competent, and had excellent judgment, charisma, and action.
It didn’t matter who. Anyone but himself. He even thought that if any of his siblings were worthy of becoming emperor, he would help them, but things didn’t go as he wished. Their greed was so large, deep, and hollow that it couldn’t be satisfied even if it swallowed the entire empire. He couldn’t pretend not to see it.
The rich and abundant food, the shirts made of smooth silk, the boots and accessories crafted with the finest leather seemed to choke him, screaming that he must now pay the price for all he enjoyed.
Mikhail had been paying that price all his life. He even involved his children in paying that price. He poured all the affection and attention he should have given to his children into the empire. He simply assumed they would understand.
Like the hand that ached from writing all day long but couldn’t leave his side, like the feet that throbbed from climbing all day long but couldn’t leave him, he thought they too would understand this inevitable hardship. That they couldn’t win against it and couldn’t reject it.
They were his children, not his hands and feet, but he didn’t know that. He almost never knew…
“Your Majesty! You have arrived.”
“Asha?”
“She is asleep now.”
As he entered the Taimir Palace, Asha’s maid, Lise, guided him inside, trying to hide her worried expression.
“It’s not the season to catch a cold… But her fever is not as severe as usual.”
Despite Lise’s explanation, Mikhail could not relax his expression. When he drew back the bed curtain, the girl with a flushed face from the fever was asleep.
“She’s almost twenty, and she still can’t take care of her own health…”
Mikhail clicked his tongue as he spoke, but no one thought he really meant it. It had been too long since that royal child had come to the imperial palace.
Mikhail sat by Asha’s bedside, placing a cold towel on her forehead, and sighed. He had already heard from the chamberlain that she was not seriously ill.
– Although her fever rose, it was not higher than previous years, and she fell asleep early due to fatigue.
Even so, he wanted to come running.
But it was a life where he should not have come running. The sick child was not going to die immediately, there were plenty of people to take care of her, and many people were waiting for him with important matters.
From the moment he opened his eyes in the morning until the sun set, he lived a life of worrying, contemplating, and reviewing the lives of every single imperial citizen he did not know or had never met, not himself or his family.
But not anymore.
Mikhail looked closely at his granddaughter’s face with a much lighter expression.
“How can you become independent and leave the palace when you’re so lacking?”
His past life had been one of waiting. A life of waiting for his successor to grow upright, a life of enduring and holding on, a life of waiting for the end.
At some point, it stopped being like that. Occasionally lying in bed, the emperor was startled to realize that he wished to live forever as he was then.
He wanted to live forever like this. Then his granddaughter wouldn’t have to grow up. She could remain eternally innocent, doing only what she wanted and avoiding what she didn’t want, living with only the most beautiful and wonderful things in the world.
Because he would be able to protect her forever. But in retrospect, his granddaughter had never been like a child, even when she was young. And as she grew older, she never wished to remain a child.
Now, soon to reach adulthood, she would clench her fists and declare that she would open a shop, sell sweets, and pay taxes. Even that felt like a plan arranged for his sake.
“Grandfather…?”
“Sleep a bit more.”
He quickly stroked her feverish cheek with pity. His granddaughter blinked her eyes, nodded, and closed her eyes again. Now he could spend the remaining time growing old slowly and peacefully. Like an old oak tree, as the spirits who had watched over them all their lives said.
━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━
“His Majesty watched over you before he left.”
Asha said, taking a sip of the ginger tea Lyudmila handed her, grimacing before managing to relax her expression. Meanwhile, Natalya placed her hand on Asha’s forehead, then on her own, frowning as she looked at her hand.
“My hand feels the hottest.”
“That’s probably true.”
Asha said with a smile, making Natalya cross her arms and plop into a chair.
“Were you both alright?”
“Of course. Only Your Highness was unwell.”
“I’m telling you, I wasn’t sick. I just… slept a lot.”
Asha said just as the cat, Shunivalen, meowed and leapt into her arms.
“It seems a bit more chaotic than usual these days. Is something going on?”
Asha noticed the palace seemed much busier than usual and asked. Lyudmila and Natalya exchanged cautious glances before speaking.
“There’s a rumor that His Majesty is soon going to abdicate to the Crown Prince.”
“Oh, really? It’s about time.”
“What?”
Lyudmila’s eyes widened. Asha tilted her head.
“Grandfather has gotten quite old. It’s time for him to retire.”
“Retire… retire?”
“Alyosha must feel the same.”
“How can you say that about the Crown Prince?”
“Karnov has already become a Duke and I a Grand Duchess, but Alyosha still hasn’t achieved anything.”
“The Crown Prince needs to become Emperor to achieve anything, so that’s only natural!”
“Right. So, it’s about time.”
Lyudmila looked momentarily confused, wondering if the issue could really be defined so simply, but quickly shook off the expression. She had learned over the years that not overthinking was best.
At that moment, news came from outside that Karnov had arrived. Natalya looked somewhat displeased but, after a pout, gave Asha a light hug and stood up.
“We’ll be going now, Your Highness. Please get well soon.”
Lyudmila hesitated slightly after saying goodbye, unsure whether to hug Asha as Natalya had. Seeing this, Natalya gave Lyudmila a firm push.
“Whoa! Natalya…! Your Highness!”
As Lyudmila stumbled over Asha, barely catching herself on the bed, Karnov entered.
“Greeting the Royal Highness…”
“…”
“This scene looks a bit odd.”
To Natalya’s remark, both girls exclaimed simultaneously.
“No!”
“It’s not!”
━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━
Karnov surprisingly laughed when he heard Lyudmila’s comment about stumbling during a ‘farewell hug’ with Asha. Lyudmila, whose face had turned red up to her neck, pinched Natalya’s arm and quickly left Asha’s bedroom. Asha let out a deep sigh.
“Don’t tease Lyuda, Karnov.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You teased her with your expression.”
Karnov sat down in front of Asha’s bed and quickly scanned the surroundings without missing a thing. The half-drunk ginger tea Asha had set down, the nearly dry towel, a few get-well gifts from her friends, and her returning healthy complexion.
“Who was it that said you can’t catch a cold from a bit of cold wind?”
“It’s not a cold. I just… slept a lot. I was tired.”
Asha responded in embarrassment and quickly changed the subject.
“Have you finished preparing for the Empire’s Protection DayDay of Guardians event? Is it okay for you to be here?”
“I just stopped by for a moment, no worries.”
Asha rolled her eyes and then brought up something she’d been wanting to ask.
“Karnov, Lyuda mentioned that grandfather talked about abdicating earlier. Is it true? I just realized Alyosha hasn’t visited me yet…”
Asha mumbled, sounding a bit disappointed, unlike when she was in front of Lyudmila or Natalya. Karnov reached out to touch Asha’s hair but hesitated and withdrew his hand.
“…He hasn’t directly said it yet… but it probably won’t be very soon. Maybe early next year. Alexei came by briefly in the early morning.”
“I see…”
Asha felt embarrassed for saying such things to Karnov and pulled up the blanket.
“Are you sad that Alexei will soon become Emperor?”
“I didn’t think I would be, but maybe a little. Can’t someone other than Grandfather or Alyosha be Emperor?”
“Who else?”
“Hmm… Uncle Maxim is kind, so maybe Uncle Valery.”
“When I saw him recently, it looked like he would run away if the topic of the throne even came up.”
“Tsk.”
Asha grumbled, and Karnov chuckled softly. Asha glared at him.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Can’t I laugh as I please?”
“Don’t laugh as you please! Only laugh when I tell you to!”
“This isn’t the Grand Duchy of Pesheranskaya, Grand Duchess Pesheranskaya.”
“Grandfather said my room is also my domain. Maybe.”
Karnov looked around the smallest domain in the empire. That action made Asha’s face turn red.
“Okay, that’s enough! Go finish preparing for the Empire’s Protection Day, Duke of Sedvoyer!”
“Can I laugh now?”
Asha pulled the blanket up to her forehead and waved her hand outside the blanket. Karnov’s low chuckle grew closer, then slowly faded away.
