Asha led Marquis Oleg to the corner of the hallway outside the drawing room and looked at the silent princess, with a dazed expression.
The same was true of of Little Marchioness Tataricha next to the princess, who was not interested in him. When the embarrassed Marquis Oleg was about to say something, Princess Anastasia looked at him with a soft expression and opened her mouth.
“She’s not hurt.”
“…Yes?”
“Lyudmila. She isn’t hurt anywhere, and she was lively. She ate well, slept well, although she worried a lot due to the disagreement with the marchioness.”
“…”
“I thought it might be best for the two to give them space to talk about their issues. That’s why I brought you here.”
Her words seemed to convey an understanding of Marquis Oleg’s anxious thoughts about his daughter’s well-being, even without knowing where she might be injured, how she ate, or what her mood was like.
In the moment of Marquis Oleg’s speechlessness, Princess Anastasia clapped her hands together.
“Oh! But me asking you to tell me where you made the porcelain doll is true. It seems Alyosha is interested in them these days.”
Marquis Oleg pursed his lips. His heart sank when his wife said she didn’t know where their daughter went after she ran away crying. The thought of her possibly falling somewhere if she was unwell made his body ache.
The darkness seemed to envelop him at the mere contemplation. Just as he was instructing the servants to search every corner of the estate to find out where his daughter was, a letter arrived at the mansion from the palace.
Princess Anastasia, on her way to visit Marchioness Tataricha’s estate, happened to be accompanied by Lyudmila. The contents of the letter revealed that Lyudmila was planning to stay overnight at Marchioness Tataricha’s estate.
While Marquis Oleg felt relieved to know his daughter’s whereabouts, anxiety crept in as he contemplated the sudden rebellious act of his usually well-behaved daughter spending a night in another noble’s mansion. The best course of action for Marquis Oleg and his wife was to wait until the next morning’s breakfast time to learn more.
As Marquis Oleg stared at the closed door of the reception room, Princess Anastasia, who had been observing, turned to him with a playful smile. Marquis Oleg momentarily reconsidered whether the princess, who was looking at him as if she could see through him, was indeed fifteen years old. However, his thoughts were quickly dispelled by Anastasia’s words.
“And Lyudmila has never bothered me. I took her yesterday, too, because I wanted to be with a good friend, although Lyudmila and I did go to Lake Bishti together.”
“… Your Highness, you don’t have to take care of my daughter…”
Marquis Oleg blurted out his words. If he were to say that there was no need to comfort his daughter, it’s obvious that the princess would say that’s not the case, but it felt as if he was continuing to deny what the princess wanted to hear.
Nevertheless, Princess Anastasia’s soft green eyes seemed to penetrate his heart, understanding his worries about whether his daughter would be hated by others due to her simplicity, or whether she would be accepted by her peers.
Little Marchioness Tataricha whispered to Princess Anastasia.
“What if the two can’t reconcile?”
“Well, what should we do? Let’s suggest making something delicious and think about it. The marchioness must have been quite surprised, so…”
“Shall we make that?”
“Tarte-Shasha?”
“Yes.”
“Should we? Should I make it? Figs aren’t in season yet, so I’ll go with peaches. With the bottle I brought this time.”
As Princess Anastasia was quietly discussing with the little marchioness, she suddenly turned to the marquis as if something had crossed her mind. Marquis Oleg flinched.
“Why… Why do you say that?”
“Come to think of it, the marquis came all the way here without warning. You’re worried about Lyudmila, right?”
Suddenly, the conversation turned back to him. Unable to discern what Princess Anastasia expected in response, Marquis Oleg could only purse his lips. At that moment, a passing thought crossed his mind.
‘Princess Anastasia seems to enjoy making sweets…’
However, by the time Marquis Oleg realized that Princess Anastasia might have such an interest, it was already too late. Princess Anastasia smiled mischievously at him.
━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━
“Lyudmila, do you have any idea how worried your father was? And to end up at Marchioness Tataricha’s of all places… Nevertheless, you’re safe. Let’s go home now.”
The marchioness spoke quickly in a trembling voice. Lyudmila, who had been silently observing, blinked her eyes.
“Mother, what I said yesterday was truly a sin…”
“I didn’t tell your father about it. He doesn’t know. Don’t worry, let’s go.”
The marchioness took Lyudmila’s hand and tried to pull her away. Lyudmila was momentarily about to follow her.
Her father still knew nothing. He might not even consider it more than a simple disagreement. In that case, why create more friction with her mother?
At that moment, she remembered the eyes of Princess Anastasia, who had looked at her as she left with her father. Somehow, it felt like she could sense everything in those eyes. Trust, affection, confidence, support, comfort, and warmth. She learned at that moment that when a person’s eyes hold many emotions, they shine like stars.
As much as she wanted to step back, she couldn’t. Lyudmila stood her ground, facing her mother.
“Mother.”
“Lyudmila, please!”
“Mother, I’m sorry. Perhaps what I said was just to… to hurt you. I’m truly sorry.”
In reality, she already knew. She said those words because she wanted to hurt her mother, the one who had raised her so tenderly.
She was aware that expressing a desire not to live like her mother was the sharpest thing she could say.
“But there’s something I want to do now, Mother, because I’m healthy…”
“You don’t know when or how it might change!”
The marchioness screamed and grabbed Lyudmila’s hands.
“I was so grateful to God when you suddenly got better. But the healer who treated you is nowhere to be found now. What if your health deteriorates again…?”
“Then I’ll ask Lyubov for help.”
Although Lyudmila mentioned her sister’s name while speaking, the marchioness firmly shook her head.
“Why don’t you understand your mother’s heart! Our daughter wasn’t like this. Lyudmila, huh?”
She wasn’t like this…
Lyudmila smiled bitterly at the words. She remembered what Natalya said.
– Shouldn’t you have rebelled earlier? At seventeen… no, at eighteen, it’s natural to start rebelling.
And if it wasn’t for Natalya’s words, she wouldn’t have had the luxury of thinking like this.
“I’m so sorry to disappoint you… but I still want to run the business I’ve told you about. I want to be happy… I think I’ll be happy doing that. I think it’d be great.”
In the days when she just watched others invade her room, the diminishing number of employees, the pale faces of her parents, and their move to the north…
There wasn’t a single day of joy during that time. Occasionally, there were moments of joy, like when her little sister brought a small doll and chattered on about various things, or on days when her health was good and she could stroll in the garden holding her mother’s hand, or when her father read her a book.
But if she were asked if that was happiness, Lyudmila couldn’t answer. What she wanted to do most after regaining her health was to do things that would meet her parents’ expectations. She wanted to do what she hadn’t been able to do until now. She wanted to repay what she had received.
That’s all she wanted all along.
“Then, I’ll be happy, Mother.”
But she saw a way to pay them back in a different way. Tears welled up in the eyes of the marchioness, who touched her chest.
“Lyudmila, do you not want to get married? We just wanted someone to take care of you, because we can’t be there forever. There will be no one to protect you…”
“Mother.”
“However, I understand that was my short thought. Would you rashly marry not knowing what might happen to your body? You have Lyubov, and she will protect you.”
Tears welled up in the marchioness’s eyes.
“If you don’t want to get married, you don’t have to. You can live relying on Lyubov.”
Lyudmila shook her head.
“It’s not that I don’t want to get married. There’s something I want to do…”
“If it’s about running a business or leading the family, it might seem good to you, Lyudmila. But it’s not. It’s such a difficult thing.”
The marchioness shook her head in a hurry.
“The world is full of malice that you don’t yet know. What you want to do may be a path where you have to overcome countless people trying to deceive you or hurt you!”
“…”
“Your father may seem noble in everything he does as one of the five marquises of the empire. I understand. But Lyudmila, reality is different. Your father can barely trust a handful of people. Leading someone, wielding authority, honor, or wealth, in reality, is such a thing. If you fail, there’s only pain, and even if you succeed, joy is fleeting because you have to ride the tight rope again.”
She didn’t want her daughter, who had suffered physically as a child, to know about going through distrust and hatred, and she wished she could see only the beautiful and lovely things in the world.
“You don’t know how to deceive people, right? You should assert that what’s right is right. You’re so much like your father. Your father is struggling so much because of that personality…”
Lyudmila grabbed her mother’s hand and shook her head.
“I know. I don’t know, but I want to know. I’ll try not to bother the family.”
“That’s not what I mean, Lyudmila! It’s not about you causing trouble. It’s about the possibility that what you want to do for happiness might make you unhappy. Try failing, even if you get hurt in the process…”
“But because it’s something I chose, I’ll be happy even if I fail.”
“How can you be happy when you failed!”
Lyudmila fell silent for a moment, then slowly touched her chest.
“As a child, I was sick the whole time. Didn’t that make you unhappy, Mother?”
“Don’t say nonsense!”
This time, the marchioness shouted loudly. Her tone was firm and negative.
“Is that right?”
“You worried because I was in pain. I understand. But does that automatically make you unhappy? Just by being by my side, you were happy, right?”
The marchioness stopped speaking. She understood what Lyudmila wanted to say.
“Even Mother… Mother was happy seeing her sick daughter, right? I, too… I will be happy just challenging something new.”
Lyudmila clasped the marchioness’s hand. Tears seemed to well up in her eyes for some reason.
“While doing the things I mentioned, if I feel my body is deteriorating or if it seems to be too much, I’ll rest. If it feels overwhelming, I’ll ask Lyubov.”
Tears fell down the marchioness’s face.
“Your stubbornness is just like your father’s…”
“I think I resemble you more, Mother.”
“I don’t have that kind of stubbornness! I don’t have it, that’s why, I lost to you…”
The marchioness wiped her daughter’s cheek. Over her hand, Lyudmila’s tears fell heavily.
“I just wanted you to laugh from now on… Why are you crying, my daughter? Don’t cry. Huh? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Don’t cry…”
Lyudmila closed her eyes tightly. Even though she closed them, tears kept flowing.
“I’m truly sorry for what I said yesterday. Really… I’m so sorry. Truly…”
The marchioness embraced her daughter, who seemed to have grown up now.
“Lyudmila, your illness doesn’t mean you’re a failure or a disappointing daughter. It simply means that God has shown us how precious you are to us…that you’re an irreplaceable existence that we cannot give up on, regardless of what happens.”
Lyudmila fell into her arms and shed tears for a long time.
