The sense of reality disappeared.
‘Am I dreaming?’
Pain arose in her finger when John bit it. John kissed it again as if to soothe the pain. The tickling made her realize that this was reality.
“Why the ring all of a sudden?”
“I was worried because you weren’t wearing what I gave you when I proposed.”
The Grand Duchess’ ring that John used when he proposed. She tried to use in, but for some reason she was scared.
‘For some reason, it doesn’t feel like it’s mine.’
Originally, she couldn’t use it anymore because she didn’t like wearing a lot of accessories.
“Does John even care about that?”
“I care about everything.”
John got up and hugged her.
“Probably more than you can imagine.”
“…”
“What else are you curious about?”
John let out a low laugh in her ear. She felt his hot breath in her ear. As soon as she woke up, she was confused by the sudden situation.
“How long have I been down?”
“You collapsed not long ago. About half a day ago?”
That level was almost the same as waking up from sleep.
“Thank god. Did anything else happen?”
“There was.”
John answered as he slowly left the room.
“I thought I was going crazy because you suddenly collapsed and I was so worried about you.”
“That… It’s a big deal.”
“Yeah, it’s a big deal. So it was very difficult for me.”
While she rolled her eyes at him, not knowing how to respond, John casually left the room and went down the stairs.
‘We didn’t go back to the Grand Duke’s residence, we stayed at the villa.’
She wondered if it’s true that she woke up after half a day’s sleep; it was dark outside the window.
‘I feel like I woke up for some reason.’
She asked John, thinking something crazy.
“Where are we going now?”
“But how was it?”
“Huh?”
John held her waist and made eye contact with her. She felt strength going into his strong hands.
“I confessed.”
Desire welled up in his red eyes. His persistent gaze swept over her tense face like a lick. She felt particularly nervous, perhaps because she wasn’t sitting anywhere.
“I wonder what’s on your mind.”
“…”
“Are you sure you don’t want to answer?”
Her heart was pounding loudly.
‘I wanted to tell you as soon as I woke up, I love you.’
‘I love you, I’m sorry for not saying it until now.’
John’s confession of love that she had been waiting for so long. When she actually heard that confession, she had no sense of reality, as if she had stolen someone else’s confession.
‘That’s what I was curious about.’
She held her pounding heart and asked cautiously.
“Can you say it aga-again?”
“I love you.”
John spoke so easily, as if he was saying something so obvious.
“I love you, Estelle.”
Her name was in his confession of love. John’s handsome face, which she would have become accustomed to by now, felt unfamiliar.
The cold eyes, distinct features, and exciting red eyes that felt sharp at first looked only at her and once again confessed his love.
“You don’t know how much I regret not telling you right away when you collapsed.”
To be honest, it felt so good that all the sensations in her body became clear.
‘John loves me.’
The look in his eyes seemed a little different than usual, but it was still the same John, who never said he loved her in the original. So, now it’s completely different from the terrible original. But at the moment when she should have felt complete freedom and stability, she felt strangely anxious.
‘John did what I wanted. But why am I anxious?’
She lifted her hand and cupped John’s cheek. John frowned and smiled again.
“How about you?”
When the confession she had been waiting for came back to her, she began to feel a strange sense of pressure.
‘Do I love John?’
Contrary to her desire and fear to keep checking John’s heart, she was not confident in her own heart.
‘John told me everything so honestly.’
In times like this, she couldn’t turn off the answer.
“John, I…”
‘Can I answer anyway?’
“It’s okay, Estelle.”
At that time, John pulled her body closer. Then he rubbed his cheek near the top of her head.
“You don’t have to say it right now.”
John’s deep, subdued voice reached her heart.
“I will make it so that you can give me the same answer.”
* * *
At the Emperor’s throne room.
The saintess, who had just arrived from the castle, walked gracefully to the front of her throne, escorted by a guard knight. In the gorgeous throne room, the pure white saint’s dress looked like a white flower. Stella lightly lifted the white veil covering her face and she grinned.
“Hello, Your Majesty. I am Stella, a saint of the Holy Kingdom.”
And she gracefully displayed imperial etiquette.
“It is an honor to meet Your Majesty the Emperor, the light and future of the Empire, the shining and glorious sun.”
The Emperor, greeted by the saint, lifted one side of his mouth.
“This saintess is a little different.”
Usually, the most important thing for a saint was Atea, the god she worships in her holy kingdom. So, until now, all saints did not give imperial greetings in front of the Emperor. However, the saint Stella did not feel any worries or fears.
“Saint Stella could be a very friendly relationship with this Emperor.”
Stella innocently opened her eyes wide at the Emperor’s words. A blush of vitality appeared on her neat and clean face.
“Thank you, Your Majesty. I was also very happy that His Majesty, the Sun of the Empire, did not forget the Holy Kingdom. We can definitely become closer friends.”
Stella held her hands and lowered her long eyelashes shyly.
“I can do that if the saint treats me well.”
The Emperor carefully looked at the saint’s appearance.
‘I feel different from her appearance.’
Unlike past saints who were always frugal, this saint was wearing a pretty dress and gorgeous jewelry like she was a noblewoman.
‘If you think about it, she was different from the moment she appeared.’
Unlike other saints, who typically make their debuts in the castle, Stella made her official appearance at the presentation hall of her Kingdom of Royam.
‘Until then, the Holy Kingdom had kept the saint’s existence hidden.’
She didn’t know why, but the Emperor didn’t care who the saint was or what kind of person she was as long as it benefited him.
“Will the saintess truly purify the polluted forests of the empire as she said in the letter?”
“It’s a natural duty as a saint.”
Stella smiled sweetly, putting her hand on her chest.
“Rather, I feel sorry for having to carry out my duties so late.”
“I’m so glad that this is what her saintly will means.”
In the empire, there was a place called Pescalos, a polluted forest. Pescalos was the forest where the first Emperor of the empire took his oath. As its symbolism was high, the empire always wanted to restore Pescalos. But no one could access it due to contamination.
“But isn’t there a reason why the saints haven’t purified themselves? Even though she knew that only a saint could purify Pescalos.”
It took tremendous divine power to purify the polluted forest. The saints of the past tried to take care of the sick rather than using their sacred power to purify it. Moreover, Pescalos was a place that God polluted to punish arrogant humans.
“I also understand the meaning of past saints. But God told me that now the Holy Kingdom must keep pace with the Empire.”
“Hoo. Okay?”
“And with my honest heart, I also have a great desire to be of help to many people, including His Majesty the Emperor.”
“Is there anything in return that this imperial family expects?” asked the Emperor, delighted with the saint’s words.
“How can you expect a reward for doing the right thing? For me, it is enough for His Majesty to think of the Holy Kingdom.”
The nobles around the Emperor were impressed by Stella’s shy smile.
‘She’s a saint who looks like she was painted. He is a very beautiful and kind person.’
‘From now on, we will see more of the saint in the empire’s social circles.’
The Emperor burst into laughter at the saint’s humility.
“But I can’t not give anything in return. Please tell me what the saint needs while staying in this empire.”
“Ah, if you really say so…”
The saint lowered her long eyelashes and spoke in a weak voice.
“I need someone to protect me from danger while I stay in the Empire. According to the old custom.”
A saint who was a symbol of the holy kingdom and has strong divine power is often exposed to danger. So, there was a custom in the empire to give such a saint a nobleman to protect her, marry her, and settle her in the empire. Of course, it was a custom that fell into disrepair as the relationship with Holy Kingdom fell apart. The emperor readily raised her head and asked.
“Is there anyone who wants it? If possible, I will give her the noblewoman she wants.”
“Then, Your Majesty. Is it okay if I say whatever I want?”
“Of course.”
Stella shrugged her slender shoulders, not knowing what to do, as if she was in trouble. The nobles around her laughed and supported her at that sight.
“Saint, you may speak at your convenience.”
“You’re right. Who would refuse to be the saint’s guardian?”
Stella rolled her puppy-like eyes at the people’s defense.
“If that’s the case…”
The corners of Stella’s mouth went up as if she was embarrassed.
“I wish it was the Blanchett Duchess.”
* * *
John took her to a hill with a good view of the night sky. They lay down on the mats spread out on the hill and looked up at the sky. Soft grass swayed in the wind, and there was the sound of waves crashing in the distance.
“The stars are very pretty.”
The stars in the night sky were usually visible, but this was the first time she had seen them shine so beautifully.
‘Now that I think about it, have I ever seen the sky so clearly?’
The stars in the night sky gave her a strange feeling. At that time, John, who was lying next to her, looked at her and asked.
“Do you know why I brought you here?”
“Well, is there a reason?”
“They say this is one of the places in the empire where you can see the stars well. So it has a different name. Estelle Lovelinde.”
Estelle Lovelinde, Star Festival in ancient language.
“It’s similar to your name, isn’t it?”
“That… Wow.”
Somehow, she felt like she knew why John had brought her here.
‘It’s because the meaning of my name is star.’
Her name, Estelle, was written on a note at the orphanage. The meaning of star was very pretty, but she didn’t like stars very much.
“Does John like stars?”
“I like looking at the night sky.”
John answered in a calm voice.
“You can see stars no matter where you look in the sky. So I often looked up at the stars. At times like that… I felt like I wasn’t alone.”
“Wow, I’ve had similar thoughts.”
At first, she was very happy when she found out that her name was star. Every time she looked at the night sky, she felt like she wasn’t alone because there were stars around her during her difficult times.
“But you know what?”
But now, when she looked at the stars, she thought differently.
“That star looks bright like that, but it doesn’t actually shine.”
When she was receiving education at Libertan, her teacher laughed at her while she was reading about the stars.
‘You’re ignoring all the etiquette that tells you to study, and you’re reading about the stars. It’s definitely not because your name is Star, is it?’
‘Please give it back, sir.’
‘Well, the stars fake the sun’s light as if it were the sun’s rays, so it’s like Estelle who has to imitate and imitate our Lady Stella.’
“Everyone says it’s just an illusion because it shines with the light coming from the sun. In the end, it is like a shadow that cannot exist without the sun.”
After that, every time she looked at the stars, she realized that she was fake. Even though she pretended to shine, she was actually a fake with nothing.
“But do you think those stars are pretty?”
She looked at John with fearful eyes. John answered without hesitation.
“Yeah, still.”
“Why?”
John’s hand held hers nearby. She also asked, giving strength to his hand.
“That star you are looking at, its light is all fake. In fact, it doesn’t shine at all. But you still think that shiny fake thing is beautiful?”
“Yes.”
John’s handsome face came closer.
“Because the comfort I feel every time I look at that star is real.”
A voice full of confidence resonated in her heart. He lifted their joined hands close to his face.
“It doesn’t matter to me where that light actually came from.”
“Then, what if…?”
Before she knew it, her voice became wet.
“What if all the comfort you felt was fake? But can you still consider that comfort to be real?”
At that moment, she realized why she hesitated to answer.
‘Am I the one that John loves?’
Meanwhile, she continued to doubt John’s heart.
Even though John treated her very well, he made her very afraid. He sometimes took advantage of her anxious feelings as if he were playing a prank. So she wanted to keep checking his feelings.
‘Maybe I’m not sure if it’s true that this is love.’
Because she had never been truly loved. So, even if this was fake and not real, she had no way of telling the difference.
“Estelle.”
John slowly kissed the bridge of her nose.
“What I want now is you. It doesn’t matter if it’s fake or real. Because you are the only thing that is important to me.”
She felt like the tightly closed walls of her heart were shaking. Tears fell again.
“Am I really precious? Even though it could be fake?”
“Look with your own eyes.”
John’s eyes turned to the sky. She looked at him and saw the beautiful sky. The stars in the dark night sky were shining beautifully.
“Those stars really shine. Because I think so. It won’t change to the latitude that comforted me back then. No matter where that light came from, what was next to me was not the sun but the stars in the night sky.”
A star crossed the dark night sky, shining with its tail. After that, more and more stars moved and decorated the night sky.
Meteor shower.
The stars rotated as if drawing a picture in the sky, illuminating the surroundings. In that beautiful scene, only John was visible to her eyes.
“John.”
Maybe she was conceited. She knew that John’s affection was fake, so she would never waver. Since she knew that his heart was not directed at her, she would be able to protect herself.
‘Because my heart is the only one I have.’
But at this moment.
Right now, the whole sky was shining, his handsome face was exciting, the sound of his heart could be felt as clearly as if you were holding it in your hand, and everything about him has become special.
“Me too.”
Just as a butterfly couldn’t go back before it spread its wings, and a flower that had already bloomed couldn’t go back before it buds. She couldn’t go back to how she was before she became aware of this loving heart.
“I love you too.”
John kissed her lips without saying a word.
It was such a happy moment, but strangely enough, tears flowed endlessly from her eyes.
—————————————————————
Translator Note:
Hello there! This is RJR. I hope you liked it <3
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