Episode 43: Rendezvous in Dreams (5)
Come to think of it, Kaiton had been talking informally ever since she stepped foot in here. Even when imitating Crawford, he always stuck to honorifics, even with his rude tone. But now, he spoke casually as naturally as breathing. As if calling someone in a friendly relationship. As if they were very, very close.
“…If you call me, you should say something.”
Muriel said, irritated for no reason. It’s not like she was the one who was calling. She didn’t know where the real Muriel had disappeared off to, and here she was, having to deal with his temper tantrum.
Perhaps Kaiton did not notice Muriel’s petty jealousy, he brushed aside Muriel’s hair and calmly opened his mouth. Every time he opened and closed his mouth, his jaw twitched, as if he were thinking this too was ‘a word that should not be said.’
“I hate it when you call me Crawford.”
He spoke anyway. Muriel felt a faint thrill that she could hear his inner thoughts, even though she knew he was going to erase her memories.
“…Even though you promised you’d never forget. Calling me Crawford as if I’m a stranger again… I can’t stand it.”
Because it was a promise she didn’t remember, Muriel could only bite her lip and feel sorry.
“…So much so I want to tear you apart.”
“Well, um….”
To say something so aggressive with such a tender expression. Seeing Muriel pursing her lips in dissatisfaction, Kaiton cautiously whispered his last words carefully, as if exhaling.
“It’s so painful that it’s hard.”
“Ah….”
In truth, Kaiton’s resentment was highly unfair. Muriel had pleaded with him not to erase her memories, promising she wouldn’t forget. It was he who had erased them with his own hands and then complained about her forgetting his name. It was just ridiculous and absurd to blame her, but Muriel, unaware of this, felt bad.
As Muriel frowned, contemplating what to say to him, Kaiton looked at her quietly and said many things without words.
Of course, he was going to erase her memories anyway, but he seemed unable to convey it with words, so he poured them out with only his eyes.
Why did you forget me?
Wasn’t it you who first recognized me?
Wasn’t it you who found me, pulled me out of an abyss, made me dream when I was stuck in that plateu?
You really don’t know me.
Really.
Did you really forget me?
Kaiton swallowed the words that would make him shed pathetic tears if he dared to speak even a little.
“I’ve wanted to ask for a while….”
Muriel, who fully received that gaze, quietly opened her mouth. Her voice carried a hint of grimness.
“Don’t ask.”
Kaiton’s response was quick. It was dismissive. His throat was tight, making his voice raspy and moist, but his tone was firm.
“Why? How would you know what I’ll ask…”
“It’s obvious. You’ll say something upsetting that’ll turn me upside down.”
Hmm… When Muriel sensed his disapproval and tensed up, Kaiton, knowing that she would ask anyway, cleared his throat. Muriel considered the distant threshold as a kind of permission signal and cautiously opened her mouth.
“Have we… ever kissed?”
“…What?”
A cold silence struck the two.
Kaiton furrowed his brow for a moment, momentarily stunned. Muriel, like driving a wedge, added, “Have we ever kissed? Here or in the past.”
Kaiton didn’t answer, but Muriel already seemed to know the answer. He made a face as if wanting to wash his ears, then clicked his tongue in a bewildered manner, changing his facial expression in various shades before roughly running his hand through his hair.
Muriel silently waited for an answer, even though she felt that she’d asked for nothing. She was still puzzled. If it wasn’t that, why was he looking at her with such eyes…
When Kaiton poured out many words with his eyes, Muriel could hear the sound of her own heartbeat. Because of her pounding heart, her mind became distraught, and she even felt anxious.
Why was he looking at her with such eyes?
Her heart, as if infused with his emotions, fluttered, trembled, and swayed like a wave, causing a queasy sensation. His moist eyes, filled with both resentment towards Muriel and a longing to see her, gently brushed her cheek with a tender gaze. His penetrating gaze, filled with a poignant longing, overflowed, making it difficult to meet his eyes.
So…
She had no choice but to ask.
What the hell was between them?
There must have been some connection in the past…
As her thoughts extended, a strange speculation emerged in her mind, as if a gust of wind would blow through her head.
“Why…”
This time, Kaiton, with a different look in his eyes, muttered as he opened his mouth. This time, his gaze looked confused. Eyes that appeared startled yet slightly heartbroken. She felt like his dark black eyes suddenly contained so many colors.
“Why are you asking that?”
…They were eyes that captivated her in many ways.
While now they clearly contained emotions like this, at times they were deep and dark that she could not read them at all. Sometimes they would settle quietly, and other times they seemed to flicker like flames. While she was thinking that all those colors were truly eye-catching, Caiton caught Muriel’s attention like she’d wandered off the path. He raised an eyebrow, as if urging her to answer.
“Well…”
Muriel struggled to speak, weighed down by Katiton’s scrutiny. It wasn’t easy for the words to come out. She felt like he might get angry…
“Well, what is it? Say it properly.”
As Muriel hesitated, only licking her dry lips, Kaiton grimaced and filled his face with impatience.
“Just… those eyes you have.”
“What eyes?”
“…”
“What eyes? Answer me properly, Muriel.”
“…Don’t you know that better yourself?”
Huh? Kaiton looked at Muriel as if she had said something unexpected, but judging by the flickering of his pupils, it seemed like Muriel’s words had been properly conveyed. Muriel sighed and exhaled a long breath before speaking.
“You have eyes that seem like you’re going to cry when you look at me… So I just… wondered if we were close before.”
“…”
“…Or not. Why do you look at me with such affectionate eyes? I almost thought you liked me again…
“I did like you…”
Kaiton shut up so quickly it felt like It was just a joke he had thrown to lighten the mood. But before she could finish her next sentence, Kaiton denoted the bomb.
“…I, I think I might have misheard something just now…”
Embarrassed, Muriel stiffened like ice and spoke in a rigid voice, and Kaiton said in a slightly roused voice.
“You heard it right. I liked you…! Hell, how many times do you want me to say it?”
In truth, Kaiton had only wanted to startle Muriel. That’s how it started. Muriel had surprised him with strange questions before, both last time and this time, so this time he wanted to see her reaction.
So, partly out of mischief and partly with genuine feelings he hadn’t realized himself, he said he liked her.
Words were truly mysterious. After saying them, his heart started to ache. He wanted to say it in a cold and indifferent tone, but when he saw Muriel’s mouth hanging open in a daze, his face flushed.
So, contrary to his original plan to tease Muriel, Kaiton found himself frozen and unable to speak.
The moment he averted his gaze, Kaiton felt dizzy. How could his heart race like this? In the midst of his despairing gaze, Kaiton shouted, “Hell,” and Muriel, as if she had heard unexpected words about a topic she had directly asked about, blinked like a goldfish.
It would have been better if she had just stayed quiet like that, but Muriel, for some reason, asked, “Is that so…? Did, did I feel the same way? Did we both like each other?”
She did so without changing her expression even a bit, so it felt like she was teasing him when she asked, but he couldn’t maintain his composure. He should’ve felt unpleasant, but he felt dizzy. He sprang to his feet, unable to hold back
Buzz…
Kaiton was blushing, and frantically shook his head to cool down the heat in his agitated mind. He felt embarrassed to show such a pathetic appearance alone to Muriel, who was so calm and at peace. Embarrassment bit his tail and grew in size.
However, contrary to Kaiton’s misunderstanding, Muriel, who was hardened like a statue, was swallowing screams inside. If Kaiton turned red like blood when embarrassed, Muriel turned pale like snow the more embarrassed she felt.
The silence stretched on for a long time.
And Muriel realized. She was comforted by Kaiton’s confession, so pure like a boy’s. The softened atmosphere, his honest sincerity, comforted Muriel.
One realization led to another.
Should he have been comfort…
Looking back, she always had to be cautious of the demon king, Kaiton Ur. She had to hold onto his leash and rescue him only when she could fully control him. Despite being cautious of him, deep down, she secretly believed in him. Without any plausible reason or justification, she believed that he wouldn’t harm Muriel. That’s how it seemed.
That’s why she was hurt. When he mercilessly inflicted pain on Muriel. Ironically, she was genuinely hurt. When she realized that the nightmares that haunted her for days were Kaiton doing, and that he’d wiped out her memories completely. Muriel felt bitterly heartbroken and betrayed.
How could you do that to me? This absurd thought lingered deep in Muriel’s heart.
“Can you not erase my memories today?”
So Muriel spoke. Despite thinking it was a brazen demand, she demanded Kaiton’s acknowledgement.
“I…there’s not much I’m scared of. But losing my memories scares me.”
“…”
“The more gaps there are in my memories, the more there’s an unknown past I don’t know. Then who am I… It becomes frightening.”
“…”
“Please. Can’t you let me remember everything about today?”
Kaiton had no answer. His lips seemed to move as if he wanted to say something, but Muriel couldn’t wait patiently. She became impatient and added hastily.
“Can’t you? I made you wait for 12 years, and I still don’t recognize you… Can’t you just do it because I’m shameless and despicable…?”
Muriel was being cheap. In truth, she already knew at least his name. Even though she didn’t know what happened between them, she knew that he was Kaiton Ur, that he was a black wizard, and that he was using Ur’s sculpture to fill his pacio. She wanted to cling to him, begging so she could keep today’s memories, saying she knew everything.
It was then.
The space began to fall apart. Kaiton glared at Muriel as if he was going to drive her away without answering. He was clutching his chest and breaking out in cold sweat.
“…Are you okay? Is it because of pacio…? Look, I told you that we had to get out…”
In his space, where only darkness existed like holes in worn-out fabric, light began to seep in here and there.
It should have been a relief to come out of the suffocating darkness and feel a sense of liberation. But Muriel became restless instead. The bright light, so intense that she couldn’t even open her eyes properly, was unpleasant and burdensome. As if she’d been calm in the darkness he’d created.
“I… I won’t blame you even if you erase my memories… Just take care of yourself, okay? Don’t become an unhappy ghost…”
Muriel said that, knowing that her plea not to become a demon could lead to the evil of him taking someone else’s pacio with Ur’s fragment.
Because she truly didn’t want Kaiton to become a demon. The peaceful darkness fell in tatters by the fierce light. As the space became brighter with nowhere to stand, Muriel eventually fell down, as if plunging into an abyss from a cliff.
She thought it was over, but a hand reached out and firmly caught Muriel as she was falling. In the crumbling world, Kaiton whispered to Muriel, who was hanging on the edge of the cliff.
“I’ll tell you my name next time. I won’t erase it, so remember it then.”
There was still an abundant hesitation in his voice, but it carried an expectation and excitement that he couldn’t erase. That dry voice flowed into Muriel’s ears and lodged itself in her heart.
If it’s that, even now…
“Kaiton!!”
She didn’t think of a way to explain how she knew his real name. She just… because Kaiton’s gaze was too sorrowful, because she was grateful for the courage he mustered to speak up. She wasn’t alone in not wanting to be kicked out of this darkness. She simply shouted his name.
However, the dark room ultimately disappeared without catching Muriel’s cry.
The distant voice reached Kaiton’s ears with great effort, but it scattered and vanished like waves crashing against the shore.
Kaiton opened his eyes and clenched his cold chest.
Because he had forcefully pushed his magic too hard, his pacio had become dangerously faint. His body was drenched in sweat, and his body, once warm with the breath of God, was chillingly cold like a ghost. But he smiled faintly.
It always felt like a waste to erase Muriel’s memories, but this time especially so. But he had made a promise to reveal his name. Despite thinking it was impulsive, he couldn’t help but feel excited with anticipation.
Yes, he’d be happy if at least one person called him Kaiton. He admitted that honestly. And if that one person was Muriel, well, he would be quite, in fact, very happy.
“In the end, you…”
However, Kaiton’s expectations crumbled.
A fragment of Ur had disappeared.
Tyler Hunt said that the fragment was taken by a blue-haired woman with fierce eyes and a man with a bear-like build. His heart went cold. He tried to blame it on his fading pacio, but it was a feeble attempt.
Kaiton you fucking *@$#$&#%&$&% idiot you &%%$$%#$#
Muriel Storm’s delulu and stan era stays and love it for her
She really does care for him though. Knowing she’s the only one probably drives that care a lot too.
please leave comments if you read this series waaa I love to read them.
Hai . I read this novel.
This story start off interesting, but it kinda slow in pace.
I cant wait when mur and kai finally become together and defeat sharan