Episode 40: Rendezvous In Dreams (2)
Muriel could not give any answer, for she was hesitant whether to call him Crawford or Kaiton.
Since he’d really identified himself as Kaiton Ur, she really thought he was going to kill her now.
It was an unexpected confession.
She had speculated that Muriel and Kaiton might’ve known each other in the past, but she didn’t expect his feelings to be in this direction.
After entering the “dream,” Muriel only looked at Kaiton, forgetting about the pain that couldn’t she couldn’t get rid off no matter how hard she tried. His resentment was conveyed so clearly in his gaze that she couldn’t take her eyes off him.
Resentment…
What kind of relationship did they have?
What did Muriel, whom she didn’t remember, do to him to make him have such an expression?
“I’ve been waiting for you to remember me.”
“I forgot about you?”
“…You did.”
Kaiton’s voice was too soft. Muriel felt it was fortunate that the surroundings were calm now. If the chaotic wind from earlier was still blowing, his words probably wouldn’t have reached Muriel.
“…When? When did that happen? Are you talking about when we met at Sharan’s palace?”
Muriel felt anxious, wondering if this had happened because of her possession.
“…”
Kaiton’s eyes seemed to be looking far away.
Just recalling that time caused his jaw to tremble.
“Twice. You forgot about me twice. The first time was when I made you cry, and the second time… it was when I almost lost all my pacio.”
What Kaiton was talking about seemed to be long before Muriel opened her eyes in this place. She thought this would make her heart feel lighter, since it was practically unrelated to her, but instead, her heart became unbearably heavy.
“You came to me when you lost your pacio?”
Muriel knew the first time Kaiton used the sculpture of Ur. She thought it was just because of Sharan’s pursuit that was after him. She thought it was only because of his desire for revenge against Sharan.
But was Muriel also involved in that?
Instead of answering, Kaiton just looked at Muriel quietly before giving her a bitter smile. It was a smile she had seen countless times, and only now did Muriel understand its meaning.
It was a self-deprecating smile.
Was Kaiton thinking that Muriel would forget even if he told her?
“Did I… forget even if you told me? That’s why there was a second time? If you tell me this time, I won’t forget, I…”
“No. I didn’t believe your words about forgetting me before, but now I’m not so pathetic.”
“It will be different this time!”
“…Should we stop now? There’s no need to tell long stories you’ll forget anyway.”
“I won’t forget. I will remember you properly…”
“No, you will forget.”
He was resolute. She needed to refute quickly, but his firm response left her speechless. It seemed to show his words were as firm as he was hurt, which made her heart ache.
“I-I’m sorry…”
Words of apology slipped out of nowhere.
Even though she didn’t consider herself as Muriel. Even though words of deceit often effortlessly leaked out of her mouth, she wanted to apologize. Despite that self-depreciating sneer he had. She wondered if they would keep him from making that expression.
“I don’t remember why I forgot Kaiton, but… I’m sorry. But this time will be different… Can’t you believe me?”
Without being able to gather her thoughts with a dizzy head, Muriel stumbled through her apology. However, Kaiton, who was silently listening to it, spoke dully. His voice was very dry and raspy, as if there was a huge chunk of ice lodged in his throat.
“You don’t have to do that. This time, I’ll be the one erasing memories.”
“…What?”
“I’ll erase this memory. When you wake up from the dream, you’ll think you had a bad nightmare.”
“Why would you…”
“Maybe you’ll break out in a cold sweat because of the pain you felt after a long time. But you’ll forget all of our conversation.”
There was no wavering in his cold gaze.
Only now did Muriel realize that the reason Kaiton had opened up to her in the first place was because their conversation was going to be erased anyway.
“Then… will Kaiton lose his memories too?”
“No.”
Kaiton’s silence was long
He scanned Muriel, who stubbornly waited for his response, with a low, subdued gaze. Then, he exhaled as if giving up on something and spoke.
“Because I’ve never forgotten you even once. I’ll remember everything this time, too.”
“…!”
Like the air burst, a sigh-like groan escaped Muriel’s lips. Kaiton, who was quick to get angry or burst into frustration, looked at Muriel with a melancholic gaze. His eyes calmly but persistently scanned Muriel’s expression, as if he wanted to check whether she’d speak lies or not.
Thanks to that, Muriel couldn’t help but feel a heat rising in his face and had to ask.
“Did you like me, by any chance?”
It was a question that took courage to ask. It wasn’t a question meant to mock or provoke. Kaiton’s eyes showed a wounded look. His black pupils, sharply contrasting with the whites of his eyes, quietly shook and shifted away.
The corners of Kaiton’s eyes were particularly deep and clear, capturing Muriel’s attention. It was the only area on his pale complexion, where a hint of color remained, and at first glance, the reddened area looked like he was going to cry.
He wasn’t going to cry, was he? The image of Kaiton coming out from behind the fountain with red eyes overlapped in Muriel’s mind. She’d assumed Kaiton would cry like a beast, with a little more anger.
So quiet and pure.
She never knew it could be so quietly devastating, to the point of breaking the hearts of those who see it and make them hold their breaths.
What excuse could she possibly give?
As Muriel searched for words that could soothe him in his depressed state, her lips trembled. At that moment, the surroundings began to crumble.
At first, it seemed like her vision was blurred due to the pain, but it wasn’t that. The sky was literally collapsing. The ground that supported the two of them crumbled away, and pure white snow rushed in through the cracks.
Muriel was being pushed out of the space he had created.
“Wait a moment, Kaiton! I will never lose you this time!! Please, don’t erase my memory!”
Muriel shouted earnestly as she fell into the black darkness. Kaiton, who’d been hiding his expression, showed a pained look as if he was coughing for breath, but it was impossible to tell if her words reached him.
Instead of saying, “I won’t forget,” Muriel said, “I won’t lose you,” but it was a difference she herself didn’t realize.
“See you again tomorrow, Muriel. I’ll be satisfied knowing that you still dislike the cold…”
When Kaiton finished speaking, he woke up in his laboratory in the palace of Sharan. His body, which had fallen asleep in a small chair, was drenched in sweat.
He called the place he had told Muriel was a dream the “Chamber of Consciousness,” but creating that place had consumed an enormous amount of magical power. As a result, he was now so exhausted that he couldn’t even lift a finger.
Kaiton felt a familiar chill on one side of his chest and quickly checked his remaining pacio. It seemed that forcefully drawing on magical power had taken its toll, as his pacio was much more worn than expected.
Although it was time for his heart to become used to the weakened pacio, the chilling sensation that made him shiver was always the same.
While thinking that he should refill the pacio, he couldn’t move a muscle. To replenish the Paseo, he had to go find those he’d let the fragments to, and endure their terrifying expressions as he retrieved them. But right now, he didn’t feel up to it.
Still, he wanted to see Muriel’s fluttering expression a little longer. Her expressions, which changed constantly according to his words, were sometimes just as he had imagined, and sometimes completely unexpected.
I’m sorry. The apology made him less angry than he had imagined, and the question of whether he liked her was one he had never thought about.
He’d erase the memory anyway. What would she have looked like if he’d simply said ‘yes’?
Would she have looked uncomfortable? Or maybe scared? When the thought that she might have bent the corners of those fierce eyes and laughed crossed his mind, he wanted to go see Muriel as soon as possible.
The sweat cooled and a cold chill covered his body inside and out, but it wasn’t bad. It was because he felt like the snowstorm on the plateau where he had been with Muriel had followed him.
⚜ ⚜ ⚜
“Eat it all up. Isn’t this why you’re so weak and can’t use your strength properly?!”
Jaron yelled angrily, but Muriel ignored him and continued to pick out the carrots.
“Now you’re even being picky? You should eat a balanced diet to recover from your cold, shouldn’t you?”
“The texture is unpleasant.”
The soup, filled with chunks of meat, had a strong smell. Since Muriel couldn’t taste the food, the texture and aroma of the food were important to her. However, the food they ate at the inn all had a greasy smell or a mushy texture from being overcooked, so she didn’t feel like eating more.
“Are you finally going to imitate a young lady who grew up spoiled?”
Jaron held Muriel’s chin and forcefully opened her mouth viciously, as if he was going to force-feed her the carrot.
“What are you doing?”
As Muriel spoke, her cheeks were tightened and her lips puffed like a floundering fish. Jaron, with a mischievous smile, pushed the carrot into her mouth.
“Yuck…”
Jaron was a hell of a nagger. At first, he seemed indifferent to Muriel, but gradually, he started interfering in everything, from what she ate to her sleeping schedule and even the smallest details of her clothing.
Most of the time, it seemed like he was yelling and getting angry, but in reality, he was just worried about Muriel’s health, just like he was now.
Muriel caught a cold, and as a result, their plans were slightly delayed. Muriel couldn’t rest properly at night, was easily exhausted, and she was going to bed earlier than usual.
“It can’t be helped today. I’ll be with you, so get some proper rest.”
“At night?”
“Yes. I’m not saying this out of any strange thoughts! I’m just worried that if your stamina keeps dropping like this, we won’t be able to find all the fragments!”
She didn’t even say anything, but he was already yelling again. Jaron blushed for no reason and glanced at Fen who was lying under the table.
“You say you can’t sleep properly because of the coldness of that creature. Does he know how your face looks right now?”
“…That Fen never goes away. It’s so stubborn.”
She didn’t know if it was because he wasn’t interested in chatter about him or he just didn’t understand, Fen glanced back at Muriel, who called his name, but elegantly crossed his legs and made no attempt to get up.
“If it can’t be helped, I’ll cut him down.”
“…I don’t think he’ll die, though. No, you can’t do that. I told you it’s a family heirloom my father personally gave me.”
Unable to explain the sudden appearance of Fen to Jaron, Muriel claimed that it was a family heirloom given to her by her deceased father. Jaron, who had doubted how a spirit that couldn’t use portals could find Muriel so quickly, seemed convinced after he saw Fen’s swift yet light and fluffy movements.
Fenrir, left behind by Kaiton, bothered Muriel in a different way than Jaron. While Jaron’s concern for Muriel was just intense in its approach and good-hearted, Fen was truly a mischievous creature.
Sometimes, when Muriel woke up, her bed would be covered in fur, and when she tried to eat, Fen would suddenly jump up from under the table and knock over the dishes. It even turned off the fireplace that Muriel lit before going to bed.
Thanks to this, Muriel suffered from a cold throughout the four days they were together. Her dreams were also gloomy, and her body didn’t easily recover.
It felt like she was having nightmares, but upon waking up, only an unpleasant feeling remained, and she couldn’t remember what kind of dream she had.
“I’ll endure it until today.”
Jaron shot a look that said, ‘Stop being stubborn and listen to me’, but Muriel awkwardly smiled and avoided his eyes.
“By tomorrow, we should be able to find the second fragment. Once we find it; let’s take a proper rest then.”
“…Why? Do you not trust me? I have no interest in you whatsoever! Don’t misunderstand me!”
Jaron shouted angrily and gulped down the apple juice he ordered instead of beer. Jaron was still practicing abstinence from alcohol, so during meals, he would often order fruity drinks that had a pleasant aroma that did not get well with his fierce face.
Muriel struggled to make excuses, regretting that he’d downed the drink in an instant.
Although it hadn’t been long since they started staying together, she had become surprisingly comfortable with, but sharing the same room somehow felt burdensome.
It was because of the thought that Kaiton might suddenly appear, just like in the inn room where she first stayed.
“…I’m worried about you. I have a cold at best, but you say you feel pain that makes you want to rip your throat off. You need to rest, too.”
“…I thought you forgot since you haven’t said anything since then. I see you remembered. How annoying.”
“I have a good memory. I remember everything important.”
Flutter, flutter.
Upon Muriel’s words, Fen’s ears started to flutter vigorously. Its movements were twitchy, as if a bug had crawled inside and was causing irritation.
“Hmm? What’s wrong, Fen? Do your ears itch?”
-Crr!
Fen was frustrated that Muriel, who was so confident, had forgotten all the truly important things.
If it could, he wanted to shout, ‘Stupid, foolish Muriel’ like Kaiton.
“Oh dear, your ears are itchy. Just give me a signal by fluttering your ears in the future, and I’ll scratch them for you. I’ll remember.”
-Crkring…!
Lmao I dont even know what to say aaa
