#20. & Blues
“Kaiton, why don’t we go out to make a snowman?”
Muriel asked, swiftly flicking down Kaiton’s book. Normally, she would spend her time leaning against Kaiton’s back and reading myths or tales of heroes, but for some reason, today, she rolled around the carpet without sparing a glance at the book and instead made such a random suggestion.
“…Where do we have the time for that? I have to lift the curse on your back.”
In truth, Kaiton was also interested. He was holding a book in his hands, but he couldn’t concentrate because he was concerned about Muriel, who seemed bored unlike usual. If he went out with Muriel to make a snowman, she would be happy, and then she would come to the plateau to play tomorrow as well – so, he wanted to run right out and make a hundred snowmen for her.
However, Kaiton remembered Muriel, who frowned and twitched frequently these days. She always said she never tells lies, but she never showed any signs of pain or exhaustion. Perhaps she’d been pale and distracted this whole time because of the pain from the curse he had put on her… He couldn’t be making a snowman in peace. He had to find a solution as quickly as possible.
“I can bear it. It doesn’t hurt that much.”
“Hmph. You have a habit of twitching the top of your nose when you lie. Didn’t you know?”
It was a lie he made up because he couldn’t say that he’d been watching her condition all day long, but Muriel, surprised, covered her nose with both hands and widened her eyes. Clearly, it did hurt… Kaiton’s shoulders felt even heavier at Muriel’s stark reaction.
“I want to make a snowman. Aren’t you tired of just reading books all the time?”
“Not really.”
It was tormenting. He was scared and anxious. He was trying his best. Despite the lack of sleep, or that he’d even started dreaming of books when he did sleep, he poured all his efforts into it, yet there had been no progress. Sometimes, the overwhelming sense of pressure and defeat felt suffocating. But that would be incomparably lighter than the pain Muriel was experiencing. He was in no position to play weak.
“Tch… I want to play with you.”
“…People from the Plateau don’t make snowmen.”
Instead of saying “me too,” Kaiton made a good excuse. To Muriel, Kaiton wasn’t a loser struggling to find a way to lift the curse, but a genius wizard who could do anything. He didn’t want to sound feeble, as usual.
“Who cares about what others do? we make it if we want to.”
“Why don’t other people’s opinions matter? That’s the most important thing. Why else is my family on the plateau? Why we must never reveal the name ‘Ur’?”
“…Sorry.”
“I’m not saying that to you…”
He hadn’t meant it like that, but his words kept getting twisted. Kaiton fumbled to make excuses, but Muriel’s grimly stiff face didn’t soften. He felt upset and nervous. He wished he could just apologize honestly. But instead, Kaiton snapped.
“Don’t just play around, you should study too! If you carry the name of Storm and can’t even do basic magic, people will laugh at you!”
“I don’t care about that…! I’m already great.”
Muriel also turned sharply towards Kaiton and said so, perhaps offended. Concerned that she might just leave without even looking at him, Kaiton spoke words that turned her inside out. Muriel’s eyes rose sharply, but at least she looked back at Kaiton.
“Hmph, you can’t brag about being impressive just because you climbed the plateau alone, can you, Lady Muriel? Why are you so great?”
“I… I… I know you!”
“What?”
“I know how great you are…! So, I’m great too!”
“What’s that supposed to mean? That would be my pride, not yours!”
When Muriel was called out for being unreasonable, she stiffened, but unwilling to yield, shouted louder.
“Yes, I did do something great! I’m not jealous of you just because you’re a great wizard. I don’t cling to you to covet your power or to use it. I just acknowledge that you’re a great wizard, that’s all.”
“You said I’m going to be the kingdom’s best wizard, then everyone in the world will know how great I am! According to your logic, does that make everyone in the world great?!”
“Those people aren’t your people! Don’t be stupid!”
Who says that! Kaiton, who was about to yell back, realized the meaning behind her words and slowly shut his mouth. His people? Did that mean something like a couple…?
His Muriel. Her Kaiton. Something like… that?
Kaiton’s face slowly began to flush, but Muriel, still not letting go of her anger, glared at him.
“You will become a great magician known to many, but that’s not only a good thing. You’ll have to help more people and bear more burdens. What’s the use if more people come and pretend to know you without really understanding you? But I’m different! I… I’m not going to leave you alone. I’m on your side… I like you, and I’m your friend! So, you shouldn’t look down on me. You should be grateful to me…!”
“Okay. I swear, I’ve never once looked down on you.”
Kaiton, who had just been raising his voice, replied meekly, and Muriel looked at him in surprise.
“Do you really understand what I mean?”
“Yeah. I mean, I’m… very… very fortunate, that you’re… my person.”
“Uh… well…”
“The fact that you’re my person is more amazing than a miracle.”
“…Right?”
“It’s a blessing. You being my person.”
Looking at Kaiton, who was smiling brightly, Muriel tilted her head as if in a daze for a moment, then she lay down on the carpet, stretching like a contented cat, seemingly feeling better.
“Do you want to go make a snowman?”
Kaiton looked at her like that and asked with curled lips. Though he was still worried about the curse tormenting Muriel, he was already feeling elated. He wanted to create something worthwhile to celebrate as he pressed down on his uncontrollable joy.
“Don’t you have to study?”
“…Unless you’re in too much pain… if I don’t study, it might take longer to lift the curse…”
Before Kaiton could finish speaking in low confidence, Muriel suddenly got up and pulled his hand.
“I’m fine! I can stand it as long as I’m with you!”
⚜ ⚜ ⚜
“Are you really going to be okay, my baby? You will have no immunity to pain, so it’s going to be really tough. You might die of shock.”
Katrina’s face, looking at Muriel, was smiling, even though she spoke tenderly as if she was deeply worried. Her expression seemed ecstatic just by looking at Muriel. Katrina Nox, reminiscent of a poisonous flower with her deep green eyes and crimson lips, had come to the ghost estate herself. She said she thought she would go crazy missing Muriel while they were apart, and when she saw Muriel, she seemed genuinely delighted, her cheekbones blooming red.
That’s why he thought it was even more repulsive. If only he could get rid of that disgusting face right now, except for the fact that killing Katrina meant never being able to lift the curse on Muriel – even though he wanted to sever that repulsive face from its body immediately.
“I’m not as weak as you think. So, give them to me, my memories.”
“I’m just trying to protect you, baby. How much did you suffer because of the curse mark? How frightened you were because of the terrible disasters you saw night after night. I’ll protect you. You don’t have to see anything harsh and scary.”
Bang!
Muriel snapped as she slammed at the bars of the dungeon cell Katrina was being held.
“You’re the terrible one! I’ve lived like a fool long enough thanks to you. Give them back now.”
“Are you really sure you’re going to be okay? You might lose your mind if we do this all at once.”
As Katrina, who had been sweetly smiling in the sticky atmosphere, hardened her face. Uer cold gaze was fixed on Kaiton. It was the gaze of someone who knew exactly who had left the mark of the curse on Muriel’s back. And she asked mockingly, ‘Are you really going to be okay?’
“How about this then? If I release them all at once, you truly might die from the shock… We’ll do it one by one. First, I’ll lift the blockage on your sense of pain, then the memories, and then we’ll release your pacio. We’ll do it step by step, letting you adapt before moving on to the next one.”
“…Release my pacio? What does that mean?”
Oh, you didn’t know? Katrina burst into laughter as if she were enjoying herself.
“That thief… it seems the cat didn’t tell you about that. Oh my… My Muriel has such a careless side to her.”
It felt like a judgement was being passed down. Ondal’s warning not to touch Muriel’s pacio from long ago rang dizzily in Kaiton’s ears.
“I, your teacher, tied up your pacio to prevent our precious saint from going berserk. I blocked the entrance so that you don’t consume too much pacio at once. My precious child shouldn’t become a demon, right?”
“…A demon that suffers never-ending, eternal torment.”
Kaiton was furious. He had almost made Muriel into a demon with his own hands. Unaware that he was being played with by Katrina, and believing Muriel’s Parsio was truly infinite, he almost turned her into an unhappy ghost. While Kaiton himself was the most unforgivable person to him, Katrina, who’d now become useless, wasn’t worth tolerating either.
Because there was no need for Muriel to endure pain to retrieve her memories. Kaiton remembered every moment with Muriel. If he remembered, it was enough. He hoped for Muriel’s peace. Moreover, if Katrina’s seal had prevented Muriel from going mad, then it was right to kill Katrina to maintain that magic forever.
“Kaiton.”
No. Kaiton’s heart raced at Muriel’s quiet and resolute call. A foreboding and sharp sensation tore at his heart.
“I will take back my memories.”
No, please.
“You will have all the pieces of Ur.”
His earnest prayer went unanswered. At Muriel’s gentle decree, Kaiton descended into the sweetest despair in the world.
“Let me remember you.”
“No, I don’t want to.”
“Let me love you, Kaiton.”
“But you… already love me.”
“That’s right. That’s why I want to remember everything.”
As Kaiton’s heart crumbled, Muriel chuckled softly. Unapologetically, that bright smile imprinted itself in his eyes. Like a small flower drenched in dew, that indifferent smile carelessly swayed his heart. Don’t smile. Please, don’t smile like that.
Unable to tell whether he wanted to embrace Muriel or push her away, Kaiton closed his eyes tightly.
“I love you.”
⚜ ⚜ ⚜
“Ondal, I’m coming in.”
Sadie knocked insincerely and then opened the door without waiting for a response. To begin with, she’d only shown this much consideration because it was Ondal, but if it were someone else, she would have opened the door without knocking.
“Oh….”
Ondal wasn’t particularly surprised because he’d adaptedn to Sadie’s randomness, but he let out a regretful sigh as a blue butterfly flew out through the open door gap.
“Oops, sorry. Were you trying to keep it?”
“No, it’s okay. I just… brought it in case it wanted to stay…”
Despite feeling regretful, Ondal shook his head slightly. Then, he locked eyes with Sadie as if to ask about her business. Ondal was faithfully keeping to his agreement with Kaiton. He would look at everyone. He no longer shied away and went out into the light. He was directly capturing the world with his own eyes.
“Really? Well, that’s a relief. Well, there’s a lot, so it should be fine. The blue ones, I mean.”
Sadie scanned the entirety of Ondal’s room. Just as she had said, it was filled with objects of blue color. Tiny periwinkle flowers picked only one each morning, dried hydrangeas quickly gathered after they fell in the wind, blue feathers from a chance encounter with a blue bird in the woods, small shards from a broken stained glass, a discarded toy with a missing ear, a massive lapis lazuli known as the “sky stone”…
“You’ve really worked hard to collect a lot.”
Like a crow collecting anything shiny regardless of whether it was a gem or junk as long as it sparkled, he seemed to have collected the butterfly like it was a jewel because of it’s blue.
“It would be easier to just Muriel’s hair and bring it back.”
Startled and taken aback by Sadie’s extreme suggestion, Ondal, who had been quietly waiting for her to finish rummaging through the room, reacted strongly.
“No!”
“Why not? Hair grows back anyway.”
She could distract Kaiton while he was cutting it. As Sadie spoke of the details in her plan, Ondal, as if Muriel’s hair had already been cut, jumped up, shaking his head.
“No… then, there’s no point.”
“Why is that?”
You can sell it later! In fact, Sadie had already secretly cut and preserved some of Muriel’s hair. Muriel was sure to become famous later, and she calculated that she could sell it at a high price. She wanted to cut Kaiton’s hair as well, but she couldn’t risk her life for money, so she was holding back.
“Muriel’s hair… it’s the prettiest when it’s with her.”
Twisting and hanging on her thin neck, sticking to her arm and gently scattering – it was most beautiful like that.
“That’s true. Let’s go for now. We’re going to see Muriel.”
“Wh…Why?”
“Muriel is sick.”
“Why is Muriel sick? Does she need healing? Isn’t Kaiton there with her?”
“I don’t know. We’ll just have to go and see.”
