EP: 103
He was angry. Muriel finally realized that he was punishing her. He wasn’t yelling, or resenting her, just subtly keeping his distance, but she felt strangely and intensely anxious. It was ridiculous. She’d endured Kaiton’s coldness for so long, she couldn’t believe that him acting like the old days felt so unfamiliar. Just because of the fact that for this short time, she’d experienced his affectionate side.
“Do you know how pathetic my thoughts have become? Because I just can’t get past your pity for me. I was agonized too, for being so pathetic.”
“Kaiton…!”
“Now… I don’t know if I want to steal your attention even if it means having your pity… or if I want to become a person so great that you can’t even dream of such sympathy.”
Although his expression was clearly cold, to Muriel, he looked terribly sad. In the end, it was game over. Muriel immediately raised the white flag and surrendered. From the moment she realized he was angry, she was eager to listen to whatever he wanted. He even unexpectedly expressed his sadness, so she couldn’t think of anything else anymore.
“I was wrong. What should I do? What should I do so you won’t be angry?”
She cautiously reached for his hand. Afraid he might push her hand away or avoid it, she timidly held onto just one of his fingers. But Kaiton simply just looked on.
wiggle.
As she continued to wiggle her fingers and hold his fingers one by one, they increased in number, but he remained silent. Muriel glanced at Kaiton, hesitating for a moment, then kissed the back of his hand. She wasn’t sure why she suddenly wanted to do that. She just wanted to make him feel better, and she just wanted to touch him while thinking what Kaiton would have done in her position.
“I like you,” she wanted to say. She had said it enough with her words and her eyes, but it felt like another way she knew emerged. Kaiton watched as Muriel awkwardly kissed the back of his hand, then smirked. It was still a smile that seemed stiff and somewhat wicked, but Muriel felt content.
If he gets more upset, she’d pull him close and try it on his lips.
“What do you mean… you must take some responsibility.”
Fortunately, it seemed Kaiton was relaxing a bit. Though not an incredibly affectionate tone, it was a generous and forgiving voice that felt like gentle rain to the anxious Muriel. She wondered if the reaper standing in front of the gates of hell, offering her another chance, would look like that.
Nodding.
“All right.”
So, without asking what exactly she should take responsibility for or how, Muriel nodded her head right away. Kaiton’s smile deepened as he watched her obediently nod. That was enough for Muriel.
“Say that I’m always the person you’ll choose first.”
Nodding.
“Always… Kaiton comes first.”
“Can you promise?”
Nod.
“…I promise.”
“More than Cece’s band of thieves?”
Nod.
“More than that useless Sharan?”
…Pause.
“Don’t call him useless.”
“…”
“He has another name, Ondal.”
“Yeah. Then just Sharan.”
Muriel looked at him discontentedly, but Kaiton raised an eyebrow as if he wouldn’t yield.
“Answer me. You’ll choose me even if Sharan cries and clings on to you, right?”
“Well… Ondal isn’t the type to cry and force himself onto others. There’s times when he’s cried because of worrying… but he never tried to force me to not be there for Kaiton….”
“….”
“No, it’s not that I don’t want to…. I mean, I’ll do it. I said I would always be there for Kaiton.”
“Can I trust you? I told you to always keep Fen by your side, but you gave him to Sharan.”
“As much as I believe in Kaiton… It would be easy if Kaiton believed in me too. Trust me a little.”
“…I see.”
At last, Kaiton smiled. When Muriel received the blunt but reassuring response she liked, she smiled first, and Kaiton, who was quietly watching her, followed suit with his upward-curled lips.
Phew. It worked.
Muriel let out a sigh unconsciously. It was just a brief conversation, but she felt exhausted. It felt more like a standoff with swords than a conversation, exchanging magical attacks and competing in strength. She felt like her pacio had been depleted. In hindsight, she felt a little unfair, but what could she do?
“Somehow… I feel like I’ve been tricked by Kaiton… but there’s nothing I can do. The side that likes the other more always loses.”
It looked like Kaiton suddenly felt better. Only then did his sharp and fierce energy ease, replaced by a smile and a bent in the corner of his eyes that felt good.
“Do you like me more?”
“Well, isn’t it obvious?”
Hmm… Kaiton seemed to ponder as he gently stroked Muriel’s hair. She wanted to retort, asking what he could possibly be worried about when he hadn’t even said he liked her, but his large hand gripping her neck made her involuntarily close her mouth. The sensation of his thumb brushing against her lips as he wiped her cheek was too vivid.
“…That’s right.”
He lowered his head as he answered, and the moment Muriel managed to say, “Look,” his lips gently touched down on hers.
***
“Are you sure you’ll be okay? Using up so much of your pacio must be hard on you, Muriel.”
When August heard that Kaiton had agreed to help, his concern immediately turned to Muriel. Despite grinding his own pacio for Ondal, he was still so considerate. Muriel nodded her head, thinking that she had made the right decision to convince Kaiton to come, even if only for August.
“We agreed to stop if it becomes too difficult. It won’t be too much for me.”
That was Kaiton’s condition. If she felt like she was going to faint, she had to speak up and stop. She had confidence in herself. Thanks to being a backup battery for Kaiton, who used magic as effortlessly as breathing, she had been undergoing intense training. If there hadn’t been so much going on in the forest, she believed she could have returned on her own two feet without fainting.
“I’m glad to hear that, then.. I’ll be in your debt, Kaiton.”
“….”
Ignoring August’s polite greeting, Kaiton stood in front of Ondal. Muriel had no time to complain about Kaiton’s harsh demeanor. A sense of loss engulfed her, as if her heart had suddenly stopped. But she couldn’t show her surprise. Kaiton’s gaze was fixed on Muriel even as he began to treat Ondal. Afraid that any slight change in her expression would make Kaiton stop the treatment, Muriel hid her startled face and forced an awkward smile.
“Wow… that’s amazing…”
August seemed embarrassed when Muriel looked at him at his unintentional matter and explained.
“Ah… I mean, Kaiton. Isn’t it amazing? Look, the wound is already turning into a scar. I thought it would take him at least three days to recover with Debbie and Sadie’s help. It’s truly remarkable, almost miraculous.”
“You seem amazing to me, too.”
“Hmm… I feel like I now truly understand the reason why we needed three guardians, including Sharan, to capture just one Ur.”
Kaiton placed his hand on Ondal’s shoulder with a solemn expression, not making any particular movements. August watched him with serious eyes. His remarks of wonder weren’t just empty words; his perceptive eyes sparkled with astonishment.
“If the Urs had such power throughout generations… I wonder what it would have been like to have them work for the kingdom. If they hadn’t been labeled as Demon Kings and monitored, but served the kingdom like the guardians… What would Bulrion look like right now? I can’t help but think of that.”
“You’ll find out. Because Kaiton is changing.”
August looked at Muriel. He was lost in thought for a moment, then faintly smiled.
“Yes.”
***
“Go up first.”
“What?”
“I can’t just leave Ondal like this. I have to soothe him… and properly explain that my pacio is fine.”
It was all because Kaiton had put Ondal to sleep. Ondal, who had started to recover from his injuries, woke up in the middle, but when he began to refuse treatment and scream, Kaiton put him back to sleep with magic without properly explaining the situation.
Muriel wanted to send Kaiton away and comfort Ondal, who must have been startled and upset. It was clear that having Kaiton, who wore an uncomfortable expression, by her side would not be helpful.
“I don’t want to.”
“What?”
It was so childish and absurd that Muriel asked again, thinking she might have misheard it. But Kaiton didn’t change his facial expression at all and continued monotonously.
“I don’t want to. What are you two going to do?”
“Then be kinder to Ondal. Kaiton keeps… ignoring and provoking him… and Ondal gets angry, too.”
“Now that you mention it…”
Kaiton narrowed his eyes, crossed his arms, and frowned. It seemed like something was bothering him. Such a narrow-minded person. Why was he so cute even though she knew he was a troublemaker? Her condition was really severe.
“Why do you talk like that only to me?”
“What… What?”
“Ondal… Ondal… You treat him so affectionately and don’t use any honorifics, you even tease him, but the way you talk to me is still distant.”
“…What?”
“You speak friendly even to that Eclam, but with me, it’s always ‘I don’t like it’ and speaking so fornally.”
“What’s that supposed to mean…”
This was a bizarre sense of jealousy, wasn’t it?
As her jaw dropped in surprise, August next to her also looked bewildered. He let out an awkward cough, trying to divert his gaze, afraid that if Muriel or Kaiton caught his eye, he would catch fire.
“Try it with me, too.”
“What… What?”
“Pretend to be close and talk as if you like me to death. Since even in reality, you said you really do like me to death.”
“Ha…!”
Unable to bear it any longer, August called out to Kaiton, saying, “Hey, Kaiton.” to turn his attention towards him. He was so embarrassed and urgent his voice cracked. Still, he wore a superficial smile that was characteristic of his sociable nature, but if you looked closely, his cheeks were subtly twitching.
I’m sorry, August.
Thanks to August, Muriel was momentarily freed from Kaiton gaze, which was brazen and somehow even glistening. But she still felt a tingling in her throat.
This person… Was he really the Kaiton Ur she knew? Could it be that someone else’s soul had possessed him? Or perhaps a dream butterfly was playing a trick, pretending to be Kaiton.
“Ah… Well… I’ll go first. I’m quite exhausted from focusing on Ondal treatment all day.”
August’s sudden change in expression wasn’t solely due to Ondal’s treatment, but he didn’t mention Kaiton’s impudence, as a gentleman of the kingdom, startled him.
“Thank you, Ur, for treating Ondal… and Sharan of the kingdom. I sincerely appreciate it.”
August extended his hand, asking for a handshake. However, Kaiton only looked at the outstretched hand with a sullen expression, ignoring August’s gesture. August smiled as if he didn’t care much, and politely bowed once more before hastily leaving the room as if fleeing.
“I’m glad.”
Muriel smiled as she met Kaiton’s gaze asking ‘what?’
“August and you seem to be on good terms. It seems like August has opened up to Kaiton a lot.”
“Don’t try to brush it off. Just call me comfortably.”
“Why…? There must be a reason for this…”
“In the past, you used to call me comfortably.”
Ah… I see.
Muriel murmured softly, suddenly overwhelmed by a rush of bitterness and loneliness.
The past that Kaiton mentioned must be a time that wasn’t in Muriel’s memories. The time they spent together at the house in the plateau… the Muriel from that time that Kaiton longed for.
“When the memories… come back. When that time comes, naturally… I’ll be able to, right?”
“Why?”
“It’s not that I don’t want to speak informally…”
“No. Why do you sound like you’re crying?”
Ah… was it that obvious? She thought she reacted as calmly as possible.
Kaiton was always sharp like this. Why did he bring up the topic of the lost memories despite being so sharp and delicate? It made her resentful and upset, but instead of shooting back, considering the many sins she’d committed, she just smiled. And she let it out. After confiding in him once about the anxieties of lost memories and the blurred line between fantasy and reality, she found it surprisingly easy to open her mouth.
“Just… I don’t know? There’s a possibility that the m-me from the time you remember and the current me are… completely different people. Someone else’s soul could be inside… “
“Nonsense.”
For Muriel, it was a problem of long serious consideration, but Kaiton dismissed it in one word. Nonsense.
“You’re the same. My Muriel from then and now, they’re the same.”
She wasn’t offended or angry by the way he treated her serious contemplation as nonsense. On the contrary, she felt relief hearing him say so firmly that she was the same person he knew.
“Yes.”
She didn’t know if it was because it was him or because she needed this firm anchor. In fact, there was no need to differentiate. For now, Kaiton meant all that to Muriel.
“But I don’t like it if you’re telling me to talk informally because of those old memories. When I find my memories… at that time… I want to say, ‘I’m back.'”
Kaiton looked a bit dissatisfied, but said little. Muriel tiptoed and raised her head in front of Kaiton. Just like he would habitually play with the ends of her hair. Muriel lightly as she swept his hair behind his ear.
“So, don’t be jealous until then and wait nicely… okay? Hm… hehe… Got it?”
“…”
She mustered up the courage to speak informally for a bit, but Kaiton didn’t react. He even stopped Muriel’s hand brushing hair and blocked her. Thanks to this, his face was obscured and couldn’t be seen. Would he be making that habitual scary face with eyebrows furrowed?
Muriel tilted her head and tried to check his expression, but Kaiton cleverly covered his face with her hand, preventing her from seeing. He didn’t release his grip on her hand.
“Kaiton?”
“For now… let’s go up together. When that Sharan wakes up, there’s no way he wouldn’t come see you.”
“Still… I don’t want him to wake up alone in an empty room.”
“So, you want the two of us to be alone in a dark room with the curtains closed? Huh?”
Kaiton spoke as he abruptly lowered his arm.
“Oh my…”
Surprised, Muriel let out an astonished sigh. It was because Kaiton’s lowered hand revealed a face turning bright red. His ears were so red they seemed like cherries, and his cheeks were blushingly flushed like a shy boy.
“Come out quickly…!”
Kaiton, who confirmed Muriel’s eyes were shaking, yelled in an incomprehensible voice, swearing under his breath. He snatched her hand and strode out of the room.
Muriel was dragged along quietly, unable to resist. What did she just see…? She was stunned for a moment, and when she belatedly realized the meaning, she couldn’t regain her composure because of the shame which made her cheeks burn.
All the way back to the room, Kaiton’s face was clouded with embarrassment. When Muriel, who had belatedly regained her senses, chuckled, his back flinched. It was cute. Very, very, very cute.
this novel will be going on hiatus for a month or two so I can take a breather! see ya 🙂
