EP: 102
Muriel walked as if running away. She couldn’t tell what kind of expression he had when she could not give him the answer he wanted and repeatedly said sorry like a parrot. She didn’t have the courage to meet his eyes. When she saw his chest shaking at the edge of her gaze, she closed her eyes tightly and ran away.
It was funny. It was pathetic. How hypocritical and ridiculous it was to try to save others while failing to protect her own person. She was striving to prevent the disasters she came across, but it wasn’t for justice or good. She just wanted to live, and help poor Kaiton.
Then it should be right to choose him no matter what. If she were to face such a cruel choice again, it would only be right to say she’d hold his hand and ignore everything else. But she couldn’t utter a word.
It’s not like she had such a great conscience. She wasn’t an apostle of justice, and she couldn’t live without Kaiton. She hesitated. She recalled Cici’s eyes that looked at her without any resentment, even though she was going to abandon her like a coward. It terrified her to realize how frightening it was to abandon that fragile child who worried about her until the end, even though her own life was at stake.
“Sigh….”
Muriel prayed, habitually placing her hand on her chest where the fragment of Ur resided. She hoped that she would never have to face such a cruel choice again. May all her decisions be for Kaiton’s sake. May she be able to choose him in the end.
***
“Ah, Muriel. I heard you woke up. How are you feeling?”
Muriel went to find Debbie. It was also an excuse to avoid Kaiton, who she feared she might encounter when going back to her room, but she also had questions about Debbie and the final fragment.
“I’m fine. But where are you going? I have something to say.”
Debbie, who was usually glued to the lab, was on her way out when Muriel arrived. If she had been a little late, they would have narrowly missed each other.
“It’s nothing urgent… Well, for now. What’s going on?”
Debbie responded somewhat evasively, but it didn’t seem urgent, so Muriel went straight to the point.
“Well… it’s about the fragment that you and the black wizards are researching. If you want, I’ll retrieve it.”
After Muriel had put the fragment hidden by Kasal into her pacio, there was now only one fragment of Ur left outside in the world. Considering the fear and caution the black wizards had shown towards Kaiton when there was a demon infestation, she thought it would be best to retrieve that fragment as well. But she wanted to first ask if Debbie still had an interest in studying the Essence of Dark Magic.
“You said you would let me continue my research.”
Upon hearing Muriel’s words, Debbie became flustered and blocked the entrance to the lab. She even cried, as if worried that Muriel might take the fragment right away.
“No, I’m not taking it. I’m saying if you want, I can take it back. If you want.”
“I don’t want that! I’ve made up my mind to unravel the magic involved with Ur’s fragment! I’ll dedicate my life to it!”
“…Well, if so, then-”
“And now you want to take it away? Did Kaiton ask you to take it? I’ve apologized so many times… even though I’ve been met with poisonous looks every time our eyes meet… no wonder he told me not to apologize anymore… just because of a misunderstanding… it’s so unfair… I haven’t even found a single clue yet… and already..”
“No, no! Debbie, I really won’t take it away. I only mentioned it because I thought you might feel afraid by having the fragment near Kaiton… or maybe if you felt burdened.. If not, then forget it.”
“It’s not… that I’m not afraid, but as long as you’re around, I don’t think Kaiton will take someone else’s pacio so easily… and besides, if you’re a true wizard, you should be willing to take on some small risks for the sake of your accomplishments and leaving a legacy.”
“Yes… become a mage who leaves a lasting legacy. I’m done with my business. Go your own way.”
Debbie let out a relieved sigh upon hearing that Muriel wouldn’t take it away, but when Muriel saw Debbie putting a sealing spell on the door just in case, she couldn’t help but laugh. She stepped back, thinking it would be best to make way for Debbie, but Debbie grabbed Muriel’s arm and stood her up.
“You come with me. Since I’m on my way to Ondal.”
“Oh… um… should I?”
Muriel nodded, thinking that maybe she wanted to let Ondal know that she had woken up. Debbie sighed when she saw Muriel’s reaction.
“As expected, you don’t know. Let’s go. You’ll understand once we get there. I’m on my way to treat Ondal.”
“Is Ondal… hurt?”
“Personally, I believe Ondal didn’t die because he’s a Sharan. Isn’t Sharan the most beloved bloodline in the Kingdom of Bulrion? He’s reaping the benefits of that this time.”
***
Ondal lay beneath a bright light. It was the healing light emanating from August and Sadie’s fingertips. Was it because of the colorless, snow-white hair and the blurry boundary of light? Ondal looked almost precarious, as if he would disappear into the light.
Ondal’s eyes were not covered by the black blindfold. Except for the bed on which Ondal lay, the room remained dark enough that the healing light was faint, but it was enough to make Ondal shiver. However, the fact that his blindfold wasn’t ready meant that he hadn’t opened his eyes even once since being brought from the forest.
Muriel couldn’t utter a word and clenched her lips shut. Ondal still had unhealed wounds on his shoulder. It was on the left side where his heart was. If Ondal hadn’t possessed incredible strength or if Sadie and Debbie, who had followed shortly after he ran towards Muriel because they were worried about him, were late even by a moment, his arm would have been ripped off. The wound near his left shoulder and chest area was massive.
“Can… Can you treat him?”
August said that since coming back, he’d been using healing magic on him without rest. Even though both Sadie and Debbie had been taking turns treating him, they were still worried that if the wounds remained, they might never fully heal.
This was because Jaron had mentioned that without painkillers, it was even difficult for him to breathe due to lingering aftereffects. While it was true that Jaron himself had missed the appropriate treatment timing and couldn’t receive proper care, she was afraid that even if they poured all possible treatments into him, it might not be enough for him to recover, and that Ondal might end up with such painful scars.
“The recovery is only slow because it’s like repairing a broken vase containing pacio, they will heal. Don’t worry too much, Muriel.”
August reassured Muriel tenderly. But his face looked extremely exhausted. His forehead was covered in cold sweat that hadn’t been wiped away, and haggardness was etched on his face from not having rested for a long time.
“Help… if I ask for Kaiton… maybe…”
“There’s no way he’d help Sharan. He can’t even touch his own cute familiar, it seems difficult.”
Sadie pointed to Fen lying under the bed with her chin. The white furry creature resembling Ondal was transparent, as if about to disappear.
“Ah… Because I fainted…”
Feeling sorry, Muriel bent down and stroked his cool fur. The creature, which had been closing his eyes as if trying to save his energy, raised its blue eyes and leaned his chin on Muriel’s hand as if greeting.
“I’m sorry, Fen…”
-Crrrr
“Let’s go to Kaiton. Now that I’m awake, Kaiton can use pacio again.”
“You should rest, too, Muriel. I will heal Ondal, I swear on Eklum’s name, and Kaiton’s familiar has been patient enough, so we can wait a little longer.”
So rest a little, August said, but he didn’t stop healing Ondal even in that moment. Sadie, who had switched with Debbie, let out a groan saying ‘Oh, I’m dying’ and slumped to the floor. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in August, but he must be tired too. She couldn’t just rest while he worked alone.
“I can’t do that. I’m the one who told him to go even when he didn’t want to.”
“It doesn’t matter. Thanks to that, Debbie and I are safe.. Well… Even if Ondal didn’t come, we would have been safe… But thanks to him, we saved my adorable shortie.”
“But still, rather leaving scars on Ondal for too long…”
“…Muri…el?”
“Ah… Ondal. Don’t open your eyes. If the treatment stops, the efficiency will decrease.”
The moment the name Ondal came out of Muriel’s mouth, Ondal opened his eyes as if reacting. Despite Debbie trying to stop him, Ondal raised his eyes and scanned the room as if searching for Muriel.
“Urgh…”
“Ondal! Close your eyes!”
“Is Muriel here?”
Despite Debbie and August’s dissaudition, Ondal persisted in his stubbornness. Even though his light-sensitive eyes quickly became bloodshot and shed tears, he tried to keep them open. However, unable to find Muriel within his hazy gaze, he started to thrash around to get out of the bed.”
“Shhh… Stay still. You need more treatment.”
Muriel quickly approached and covered his eyes. Even as she spoke soothingly, he clung to her hand blindfolding him, finally finding its place. The heat of his tears continuously flowed beneath her palm.
“Muri… Muriel… hng… Are you okay? I’m sorry… Sorry for not rushing over immediately… I should have protected you… No… I shouldn’t have left your side at all… It’s all because I’m stupid… Because of my useless actions, you were in danger…”
“No… Ondal….That’s….”
“What are you saying?! Is it stupid to save me, Debbie, and Shortie?”
“Sadie, stay still.”
Although Debbie quickly gave Sadie a warning when she interjected, she couldn’t calm herself down and nervously shifted her head, stomping towards the bed.
“And the captain fainted because her pacio output was too big at once! Not because of monsters or thieves! Whether you were by her side or not, it wouldn’t have made a difference! So, your choice to come and save your friend was excellent, it wasn’t foolish!”
“I don’t care about anyone else! I couldn’t protect Muriel!”
“What?! You don’t care about anyone else? Why am I anyone else? We are now a family, family! I was going to let you go since you’re a little pretty, brat, but you’re going to talk nonsense to your family?!”
“Ah! Sadie, stop…!”
As Ondal sobbed and shouted, Sadie went wild with the momentum to tear Ondal’s hair. Eventually, Debbie had to stop treating Ondal’s shoulder and pull Seidy into an embrace to calm her down. Despite Debbie holding onto Sadie with all her strength, she fluttered like a paper doll. Debbie was a typical researcher and anemic-looking sorcerer just by looking at her, while Sadie the type of energetic person who wouldn’t get tired even in a crowded train.
“I’ll quarantine this monster outside for now. I’m sorry, Ondal. I’m sorry, Muriel.”
When Debbie took Sadie out by dragging her while she teared at her own hair instead of Ondal’s, the room quickly fell silent. Ondal was still sniffling, but it was a very faint sound.
“Sadie must be upset. Why did you say that…. You were worried when she was in danger.”
“….”
Instead of answering, Ondal gave strength to his grip on Muriel’s hand, as if protesting that she had never been worried.
“And you don’t have to apologize to me… Ondal, you haven’t done anything wrong. If anything, I hurt you by pushing you to go… I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not because of Sadie… It’s because I wanted to show Muriel… I wanted to prove that I became a great knight… that I can protect Muriel well enough… Th-that’s why I went.”
“Is that so…”
Muriel, who was about to say that she didn’t need it, closed her mouth because her hand was too hot. Muriel’s hand covering his eyes grew hotter because of Ondal’s hot tears.
The tears that continuously welled up and moistened his hands were the expression of Ondal’s heart. Even without words, his feelings were transmitted through his skin.
“Me too… I understand how you feel, Ondal.”
It was Kaiton who let Muriel understand how that felt.
That’s why she just watched Ondal’s love turn into tears and flowed endlessly instead of blossoming into a smile. She only wished that those hot tears wouldn’t flow for too long.
***
“Kaiton, I need to ask you a favor…”
Kaiton glanced at Fen next to Muriel and murmured, “It must be about Sharan.”
It was a rare opportunity because Ondal was sound asleep. Ondal did not want Kaiton’s help either, but she couldn’t listen to him. She had vividly witnessed next to Jaron what kind of pain he would suffer for the rest of his life if not treated in time. Moreover, August was exhausted from continuously casting spells.
“Can you help me?”
Muriel didn’t come to Kaiton carelessly. Just a while ago, she couldn’t even meet his eyes and left as if running away, yet now she found herself in a position where she had to ask for a favor… She felt embarrassed, awkward, and above all, sincerely sorry.
“Why me? What’s more, it’s about Sharan.”
“…The wound was very deep. If it’s Kaiton, there won’t be any lingering effects… You can help.”
“My wound was very deep, too.”
“…!”
He spoke calmly and indifferently. It seemed as if he was saying that the book he had been reading before Muriel came in was very boring. If it weren’t for his resolute eyes that didn’t seem to waver, one might have mistaken his dryness for mockery or a joke.
“Someone who cried and confessed they liked me so much, said that I’m not the most important person to them. It seems like they value thieves they just met or rascals like Sharan more than me.”
“It’s not like that… You know that.”
“I don’t know. That someone just left saying sorry.. They left me behind. Abandoned me.”
“It’s an exaggeration…! You’re saying too much.”
Muriel shouted in a fit of rage, but her mind grew increasingly anxious. Come to think of it, she hadn’t heard Kaiton say that he liked her. Even though his feelings were adequately conveyed without words, the lingering unease of not hearing it verbally did not go away.
What if Kaiton got tired of her because she was so stubborn? Kaiton hadn’t even said he liked her, so there must be a reason for not saying it. Then suddenly, the thought crossed her mind that Kaiton might be feeling a similar anxiety and restlessness because of herself, weighing her heart down with guilt and regret.
“I like you so much… How can I abandon you? Why are you talking like that.. It scares me..”
He, who used to sweep her eyes as if consoling her even when she wasn’t crying, coldly kept his distance from Muriel, who was about to shed tears any moment. He raised his hand, but the place he went to was the ends of her hair. He just touched it with his fingertips, but there was no tender gesture of sweeping it away.
“You left me behind. I’m not as strong as you think, Mure. If you abandon me again, I’ll… fall apart with laughable ease.”
who is cutting onions here
angst so good it has me genuinely taking a deep breath
