The Tyrant Wants To Live Honestly

“They say that fishing is won by the one who catches the biggest fish, and Today’s winner is a princess.”

Unlike Dorothea, Theon talked about fish casually.

He didn’t bother to mention the little accident that bumped his lip.

‘No, maybe Theon hadn’t felt anything at all.’

It was so fast that even Dorothea was confused as to whether it was real or an illusion.

“Shall we do some more, just until Ray gets back?”

“Okay.”

Dorothea nodded her head as if nothing had happened, embarrassed by herself and more embarrassed.

Dorothea sat down next to Theon and looked at the lake with her fishing rod again. Her eyes were on the lake, but her whole attention was on Theon.

The sound of pebbles rattled as he moved.

The sound of the wind in his soft breathing.

His dark hair flowed in the breeze.

His hands clasped together in his lap.

And the glass bottle and handkerchief are still in Dorothea’s pocket.

at that time.

“Princess.”

Theon is called Dorothea.

Dorothea, who was called by him, looked at him quickly, as if she had become his servant.

His eyes, which had been gazing at the lake, suddenly turned to her.

His eyes were red, yet calm and serene as if they still contained the lake he had just been looking at.

“Why did the princess accept my invitation?”

Theon asked Dorothea, who was waiting for him calmly.

Theon smiled as Dorothea glanced at him as if she had not understood the intent of the question.

“Actually, I thought the princess would reject my invitation.”

“Ah… !”

‘Didn’t he invite me as a courtesy?’

Dorothea, who was always so timid in front of Theon, thought.

Noticing Dorothea’s despondency, Theon quickly waved his hand.

“Of course, you were invited because I wanted you to come. But the princess has always had an invisible wall…”

‘invisible wall…?’

“The princess doesn’t show her feelings at all.”

“Me?”

“Sometimes I have no idea what the princess is thinking.”

‘Are you happy or sad, angry or happy, sick or okay? Should I move closer, should I step back, or should I stop?’

‘Am I out of line, or have I stepped on the line, or have I crossed the line?’

“So I was always cautious. I had a feeling that the hand I reached could become a blade for the princess.”

Theon smiled, but even that smile was a cautious smile.

Dorothea didn’t know that Theon was thinking that way.

‘Theon’s outstretched hand is a blade. No way…’

“I was just being careful….I’m afraid you’ll hate me.”

Dorothea said in a low voice, it could be carried away by the wind.

But Theon, who understood the words, widened his eyes as if in surprise.

“Me?”

Theon shook his head.

“Why do I hate the princess?” He said.

But Dorothea just smiled.

‘You don’t know how much you hated me, Theon, how much I made you shiver, or how unhappy you are because of me…’

“I…I want you to be happy, Theon.”

Dorothea said, making eye contact with him.

‘Even if you don’t love me if you’re happy, if you’re happy so you don’t kill yourself, if you live a life that makes you smile for the rest of your life, that’s enough for me.’

‘That’s why I came back.’

Dorothea swallowed her words in silence.

Theon looked at Dorothea and smiled.

“I also want the princess to be happy,” He said.

His sweet voice was enough to shake Dorothea’s heart. His words in Dorothea’s ear were suffocatingly hot.

‘It was so hot that it burned my heart, and the heat spread all over my body, and I felt like it would turn into hot tears.’

Happiness, was a word that was too much for her.

[‘Remember that. Your greed has killed me.’]

Dorothea still couldn’t forget the red eyes that were trembling and cursing.

She closed her eyes, she could see Theon as if he were about to break, and she could hear his resentment for her. The last curse he’d ever spoken to her.

‘Wasn’t it deceitful and not make sense to chase happiness while remembering that?’

Then Theon grabbed her hand and made her look at him.

Dorothea tried to pretend to be calm, but she couldn’t hide her trembling lips, so she had to bite her tongue.

Then, a touch touched her cheek. When Dorothea lifted her eyes which looked like tears were about to fall, Theon was in front of her. Close enough to feel his breath.

“It’s the same face you have now when my words seem to be a sword to you. I wish you happiness, and you make the saddest face in the world.”

Theon said with a slightly contorted face as if in heartbreak.

He was worried about her, Dorothea Milanaire.

‘Ah…Theon. You shouldn’t be so kind to me.’

It felt like someone was clutching her heart.

‘You can’t break me down like this when I’m trying so hard.’

‘Don’t shake the heart that you barely hold on to.’

But in the end, a tear she couldn’t hold back fell down on the pebble.

“Princess…?”

Dorothea hastily wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

“I’m not sad, why would I be?”

Dorothea said, pushing away the affectionate Theon.

After taking a moment to catch her breath, Dorothea smiled brightly.

“Theon, I just had something to give you back.”

Dorothea held back her tears and looked up, smiling.

Then she held out a glass bottle wrapped in a handkerchief in front of him.

Theon didn’t understand what they were for a moment, then realized that they were the things he had given Dorothea.

“This…”

“I was thinking of throwing it away, but I think I have to give it back.”

Dorothea forced a handkerchief and a glass bottle into his hand.

Theon wouldn’t even remember, she could just float it on the lake, bury it in gravel, or throw it in the fireplace, but Dorothea was reluctant.

‘It was selfishness that didn’t want to see my last heart abandoned.’

In other words, it was the desire for Theon to deal with her last heart.

“Because it’s yours. you can throw it away. I’m sorry I’ve had it for so long.”

‘I’m sorry for not giving up on you sooner.’

Theon held it and looked at it for a long time.

and.

“You still have this handkerchief.”

Theon smiled.

He remembered the handkerchief she thought he would have forgotten because it was so trivial.

“Ah…The handkerchief is a little dirty. It was because of the blueberry stain, even after I washed it, it didn’t come off well.”

“It’s a pretty old handkerchief, but it’s clean.”

Theon said, looking at the handkerchief stained in pale blueberry water.

“And this…Is it the ointment bottle I gave you?”

Dorothea was surprised. He also recognized the glass bottle. 

It wasn’t the reaction Dorothea had expected.

“Ah…yes.”

“Why are you giving this to me?”

“I’m trying to get organized, and it’s a bit much to throw away.”

‘I don’t want to see them being thrown away in a shabby way while organizing my mind.’

“These are the things I gave to the princess, so there is no need to return them.”

Theon glanced at Dorothea.

“Are you no longer need it?”

Dorothea nodded her head.

“Yes… I don’t think it’s necessary now.”

‘I think I’m ready to let you go.’

‘I heard kind words from Theon, fished with Theon, I’ve tasted his lips, I sat beside him. He wished for my happiness and worried about my tears.’

‘Before returning, I want to accomplish the little things I wanted to do with him. So I don’t want to be greedy now…’

“It’s yours, and even if I throw it away, I want you to throw it away.”

At that, Theon stared at Dorothea, then nodded.

“Then…I’ll take it.”

“Thank you, Theon.”

‘For letting me love you so much. For letting me see you through to the end.’

Dorothy raised her head and smiled.

‘I thought it would hurt to cut off the end, but it felt better than I expected.’

‘Except to say “I love you”, I’ll never be able to say.’

* * *

The aftereffects of ending things with Theon weren’t as bad as Dorothea thought it would be.

‘I felt a little heartbroken, but I didn’t cry, and I didn’t regret it.’

After her death, Dorothea’s life was a process of accepting the end of her life with Theon.

Perhaps it would be more correct to say that it took too long to accept the end.

‘Well done.’

Dorothea saw the empty spot where Theon’s handkerchief had disappeared.

‘It felt like something was missing, but it was right.’

‘An empty place, an empty heart.’

“Princess. Princess?”

“Ah. yes?”

Clara called Dorothea.

“What are you doing these days? Your mind keeps going somewhere else.”

Clara pointed to the book Dorothea was holding. The book that was opened earlier was upside-down. 

It was then that Dorothea hurriedly read the book.

“Yesterday, you rolled your spaghetti into balls on your fork, and this morning, you took a bite out of every cookie Po made for you. What happened in Friedia?”

“No, nothing happened.”

“You’ve been like this since you went to Freedia!”

‘Isn’t there no aftereffects?’

“Knight Stefan, tell me. What happened to the princess!”

“….”

No matter how hard Clara tried, Stefan’s mouth didn’t move.

Clara sighed, thinking it would be easier to move a mountain than to move Stefan’s mouth.

“It was nothing, really.”

Dorothea waved a hand in the air and opened her eyes.

If she looked gloomy and distracted, Clara would worry again.

“Isn’t the wolf doing something to the princess?”

“A wolf?”

“Young Master Theon Fried!”

Dorothy almost hiccupped at Clara’s fierce words.

“Well, what happened?! Did I tell you to be careful?”

Clara’s sharp eyes narrowed and she looked at Dorothea.

Dorothea was a little scared of Clara, who was able to guess it as if Clara had been watching her from Friedia.

‘Is this enough to lay a mat?’

“Nothing happened, Clara.”

“Are there human souls flying next to you even though nothing is happening?”

“Because it’s not like that.”

“When you travel, it is easy to get caught up in the atmosphere and fall in love. Don’t be swayed by your immediate emotions, and think carefully about whether Master Theon is a really good person.”

“I told you nothing happened, don’t worry.”

“Hmm…”

Clara’s eyes narrowed, so Dorothea avoided her gaze and pretended to be reading a book.

* * *