The Tyrant Wants To Live Honestly

“It seems that the answer is also quite controversial among the Episteme professors.”

Robert showed Dorothea’s answer to Carnan.

The answer sheet, which perfectly matched the amount and format required for the question, was not scored.

She Couldn’t get it to score.

Carnan’s forehead, which was scanning the contents, grew more and more wrinkled.

When asked about the truth, she criticized Episteme by comparing it to a frog in a well, and when asked about the anguish of a character in a novel, she asked if they had ever pondered so desperately about the anguish of a real character.

The quality of the writing itself could have been better, it missed the items that would be the criteria for scoring, and it was impossible to get good grades from Episteme professors in terms of content.

It was an irresistible resistance.

“Call Dorothea.”

Carnan said nervously, laying down Dorothea’s answer.

Moments later, Dorothea was called into his room.

“You called me.”

Dorothea already knew why she was called.

“Episteme test, can you explain what happened?”

“You told me to take the test, so I did my best.”

“The Best?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Dorothea’s casual reply made Carnan angry.

“Is this your best? You made a 0 point that was not in the history of Episteme by getting all the answers wrong!”

Carnan shouted, throwing her answer sheet on the floor. The white paper fluttered wildly and scattered in all directions. Dorothea looked at her answer sheet as it fell, with calm eyes.

“Isn’t that a good thing? I set a new record that was never before in a great Episteme.”

Even as Carnan was angry, Dorothea’s voice was as calm as ever.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know why I’m angry, Dorothea. I must have told you to think about the dignity of the imperial family.”

“I did my best during the Episteme exam. However, it seems that the direction of my efforts was different from that of His Majesty.”

Dorothea said as she looked down at her test papers that fell to the floor like garbage.

Dorothea thought that the answer sheet was ‘Dorothea-like’ in her own way.

‘I did my best. It is only wrong to choose the best I can.’

It will go down in the history of Episteme with unprecedented fame. Like a tyrant who made fame in Ubera’s history.

Carnan looked at Dorothea standing there with her eyes down with a blank expression. There seemed to be no emotion on her face.

“What the hell do you think I am?”

“Your Majesty the Emperor of the Great Empire Ubera.”

“I am also your father.”

Dorothea’s expression twitched as Carnan wrinkled his brow and added. She almost laughs.

“Father… You say?”

“What?”

“Did Your Majesty ever really want to be my father?”

Dorothea tilted her head and asked, wondering.

‘I was really curious. Because I’ve never felt or thought of Carnan as a father.’

“Didn’t Your Majesty think of me as a pothole that couldn’t even summon spirits?”

“It doesn’t make sense to talk recklessly with a penetrating mouth, Dorothea.”

“Do you know my birthday?” asked Dorothea.

Then Carnan’s expression hardened bitterly.

“I know. I Remember clearly.”

“Ah… My birthday is also the anniversary of Her Majesty the Empress’s death.”

Dorothea smiled.

Dorothea’s birthday and Empress Alice’s anniversary. So Dorothea never had a birthday celebrated.

Because she was a child born with death. She was a child born after she killed her mother and drenched her blood. Because of that, Dorothea has never been held in the hands of her parents since the first day she was born.

For Carnan, the death of his wife was more important than the birth of his daughter.

‘Before the return, I couldn’t understand it. On Raymond’s birthday, he throws a grand party, piles up presents, and smiles. Why doesn’t my father give me even a small flower?’

The nanny explained the reason to Dorothea.

‘It’s the day Your mother, the Empress, passed away.’

The death of a mother, Dorothea can’t remember a single face. So, everyone mourned the birth of Dorothea. 

But was it because Dorothea was a bad person?

She hated the dark melancholy that filled her birthday.

‘I could never mourn my mother’s death as much as others. No, it was sad that no one congratulated me and cared about me than sad that my mother died.’

‘The feelings I felt for my mother, whom I had only met through portraits, were worse than that of the nanny.’

Rather, resentment is greater than love.

Dorothea, as a child, hoped that her birth would be more delightful than her mother’s death.

‘It’s sad, but can’t you take a look at me? I live here like this.’

When Dorothea complained like that, an arrow of anger and criticism returned to her.

An immature, naughty, heartless, selfish child. That was Dorothea.

“On that day His Majesty would have wanted me to die and my mother to live.”

Dorothea looked at Carnan and said calmly.

‘The anniversary of the Empress whom I was born. You would have wanted to save the Empress, even if you were to sacrifice me to her.’

And Carnan couldn’t deny it. If a doctor asks if he wants to save the woman he loves or the child in her womb, he will definitely kill the child and choose his wife.

It’s not that Carnan is bad, most people have made that choice. Maybe Dorothea didn’t even know she would make such a choice.

‘Before returning, if they asked me to save either the life of Theon or the life of my unborn child, I would choose Theon himself.’

So Dorothea agreed.

It wasn’t Carnan’s fault. She was just born wrong from the moment she was born. The buds of tears in the land of tragedy. a seed that has been wrongly rooted.

“Do you still think about that when you look at me? You wish I had died and my mother came back alive.”

Carnan’s eyes shook at her.

‘Well, I already knew that.’

When Dorothea was facing Carnan, she could feel that feeling even if he didn’t say anything.

“When did I say that… ”

“When I was kidnapped years ago, did you want me to die?”

Plak!

As soon as Dorothea finished speaking, he turned his head.

“What are you talking about?!”

Carnan’s voice trembled.

A face as if one were boiling inside as if he had been hurt.

Dorothea’s heart seemed to have been cut by a sword in Carnan’s eyes like that.

‘I prefer you to be ruthless to the end, why…’

There was more pain elsewhere than her red cheeks.

“I can still hear the sighs of His Majesty at that time.”

With innocent eyes as if he had never done so, Dorothea hated him for turning the blame on her.

“Your Majesty kept your mouth shut about me being kidnapped as if it had not happened. for shame in the face of the imperial family.”

The sigh and expression on his face as if he had one more task to deal with are still clear.

Obviously, I was so tired and sick that my mind was clouded, but I can remember that too clearly.

“That…!”

Dorothea waited for the back of Carnan’s words.

‘What do you want to say as you look down at the red cheeks of your daughter that you slapped with your hand?’

But there were no more words after that.

“Have you ever hugged me once?”

‘You never said a word to your nine-year-old daughter who returned from being kidnapped, even saying you glad she’s back.’

There wasn’t even a single stroking of hair or a single hug.

“Dorothea Milanaire.”

“You don’t have to call me that. Because the name Milanaire has never felt like a blessing.”

‘If I had been born normally, I might have lived unaware of my dream of becoming an emperor, my inferiority complex toward Ray, and my father’s indifference.’

Because it’s Milanaire, precious blood that doesn’t fit the dirty veins has flowed out… So Dorothea had a dream that didn’t suitable for her.

‘I didn’t even have the qualifications of Milanaire, but you mistook me for the real Milanaire.’

“So now I don’t have to force myself to care that it’s Milanaire. You don’t have to invite me to major events or ceremonies because I don’t want to.”

There was definitely nothing stabbed, and it was so obvious that it became dull, but for some reason, Dorothea’s voice trembled.

Dorothea clenched her fist because she didn’t want her voice to tremble again.

“Then I will go back. your majesty.”

Dorothea hid her blushing cheeks and bowed her head, waiting for a moment for Carnan’s permission, then just left.

Carnan’s door closed, and Dorothea lowered her head and strode down the empty hallway.

She was relieved. She pours out everything she wanted to say to Carnan.

Although she didn’t become a ‘good person’, Carnan will no longer bother her by citing Milanaire in any way. It must have fallen off to the extent that it was attached to him a little bit. 

‘It’s good.’

Dorothea thought so.

But she could not lift his head, which had fallen to the ground. It’s because the cheek that was hit by Carnan hurts so much.

‘It hurts more than a sword cut…’

She didn’t want to show anyone her red cheeks. 

Then, someone grabbed Dorothea’s shoulder and pulled her up.

It was Stefan who was waiting for Dorothea outside the door.

“Stefan…!”

Seeing him, Dorothea hurriedly turned her head and hid her face. She looks so embarrassed now.

Stefan looked at Dorothea with His mouth shut and hugged her.

As Dorothea was buried in his wide arms, she felt the body’s warmth wrapped around her. Dorothea’s emotions that she had been holding back exploded at the temperature that pierced her chest.

“Stefan… I want to go back to the detached palace. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Trying to hold back her tears, Dorothea cries.

She wished that Stefan would take her out of here. Even though she knows that it’s impossible.

“I… I want to disappear from the world. I don’t know why I have to live. I want to leave everything.”

In the end, Dorothea burst into tears.

Dorothea cries like a child, staining Stefan’s chest with wet tears. Stefan hugged Dorothea tightly and patted her back.

Until she stopped crying, without saying a word, by her side as always.

* * *

Hello! if you want to buy me a coffee you can click here thank you(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

Comment

  1. Suz says:

    Thank you💕

  2. Jonathan says:

    Stephen you are the best

  3. Maceo says:

    Hello, where can I get a Stefan? Asking for myself, not for a friend.

    Stefan just seeing that she’s hurt and just… immediately hugging her and patting her back to show that he’s here with her, without uttering a single word, is beautiful. He gets to comfort her in his own way even when he has issues with talking.

    And at the same time, the fact that she trusts Stefan enough to share with him her darkest thoughts is so significant. She finally found someone to lean on, even if he isn’t powerful enough to protect her from Carnan😭

    That’s it, Carnan won’t ever get a redemption arc after this episode, Idc if he regrets his action or whatever, he literally doesn’t deny the fact that he wanted and still wants her to die.

    Thank you for translating!

    1. Maceo says:

      Ah, I thought this comment wasn’t uploaded. Oh well.

  4. Maceo says:

    Hello, where can I get a Stefan? Asking for myself, not for a friend.

    Stefan just seeing that she’s hurt and just… immediately hugging her and patting her back to show that he’s here with her, without uttering a single word, is beautiful. He gets to comfort her in his own way even when he has his own issues with talking.

    And at the same time, the fact that she trusts Stefan enough to share with him her darkest thoughts is so significant. She finally found someone to lean on, even if he isn’t powerful enough to protect her from Carnan😭

    Dorothea : “Have you ever hugged me once?”
    Stefan : *hugged her repeatedly throughout the story*
    I SMELL A FOUND FAMILY TROPE YALL

    That’s it, Carnan won’t ever get a redemption arc after this episode, Idc if he regrets his action or whatever, he literally doesn’t deny the fact that he wanted and still wants her to die.

    Thank you for translating!

  5. jai00 says:

    You go girl, let it all out! There is no point keeping it in when it is just hurting you, well done!

  6. drivepurple says:

    Dorothy 😭😭😭, i give you hug too 🥺

  7. GreenJade says:

    Stefan looks like a father figure this chapter.

  8. kay.e11 says:

    Damn this whole chapter is so powerful. I love Stephan!!

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