After all, the nanny’s wish was nothing but wind.
And as I expected, Carnan never came to visit me.
Since then, I’ve only seen him a few times from a distance, and only gave him an insignificant glance.
I still lived in the same palace, and as I grew up, my scope of action expanded, so I sometimes accidentally encountered people I didn’t wish to see…
It was more insignificant than coming across a butterfly during a walk through the garden. There was no need to write it down in a diary or cherish the memory of it.
I was mostly alone in my palace, the Conberta Palace, the most cornered palace between the Imperial Palaces.
Then, I turned eight.
If this was my first life, I would have already been punished several times by Carnan.
It reminded me of the days when I was punished for screaming in defeat after trying to show better side than Ray.
I was a very sad kid. Always looking forward to being alone, to feeling the pain of my broken heart alone, and crying alone.
So, I cannot stress enough how good it is to know the future. If I didn’t come back with my memories intact, I would have probably clung to Carnan again.
I would have hated to see myself, unlovable, begging for attention, and finally turning into an ugly woman all over again.
Yes, to live a good life… I just need to do nothing.
I knew that the moment I tried to do something, I would attract people’s hatred and anger.
Then I’d kill Ray again, and lose the man I love…
Just as I was thinking that, a stupid voice called me from afar.
“Dorotheaaaaaaa!”
A voice that I hated.
How annoying!
Carnan’s interest didn’t even last a day, but I don’t know why Ray’s so obsessed with me.
“Nanny, say I am not here.”
I ran from Ray and hid inside the big forest.
As soon as I found a good place to hide, I heard Ray at the entrance of the Conberta Palace’s garden.
That was close.
“Nanny! Where is Dorothea?” Ray asked.
“I don’t know, my Prince. Where did she go?” The nanny thankfully pretended not to know like I asked.
Judging by the way she spoke, she seemed to know that I didn’t want to see Ray at all.
“Maybe Dorothea… is she perhaps upset because I don’t come to see her often?”
“No way!” the nanny answered.
Yeah, no way. Why would I get upset about you not coming here when that’s exactly what I want?
I shook my head, thinking about Ray’s absurd reasoning.
Ray had recently been recognized as qualified to succeed to the throne and had been busy preparing for the crown prince’s appointment ceremony that was going to be held in a few days.
So, things were nice and quiet around here.
“I was going to show her how to deal with the spirit of light,” Ray muttered.
Spirit of light?
It was the most important ability to have as a Milanaire and as the emperor.
The legend says that two spirits helped create the Ubera Empire.
A long time ago, the elemental master Milanaire borrowed power from the spirit of light to make the sun rise, and the elemental master Fried summoned the spirit of darkness to call upon the night.
While Milanaire gave life, Fried gave us time to rest. And while Milanaire illuminated the world with warm light, Fried gave us the possibility to recuperate from the light and heat.
Thus, the Ubera Empire was created.
The Imperial family is elementalist Milanaire’s descendant.
While the Grand Ducal family is Fried’s.
The two families were the great pillars that supported the empire.
But that was a long time ago.
I’ve never been able to summon the spirit of light.
Over the generations, the bond those two families had with the spirits gradually faded.
Milanaire’s power, which had made the sun, had weakened infinitely, and now, it was hard to even light a small fire with it.
And as time passed, some descendants were born with no ability at all to handle the spirit’s power.
I, Dorothea Milanaire, was one of those descendants.
A child who had not inherited the strength and qualities of a true Milanaire.
It was a long-standing tradition of the Empire that only those who could wield the spirit’s power were entitled to become Emperors–and I was naturally excluded from the succession line.
On the other hand, Ray, who was able to summon spirits from an early age, gradually became able to properly use that power and was finally recognized as a Crown Prince by the Emperor.
That was one more reason why people didn’t love me.
I once foolishly believed that someday I’d be able to also control the Spirit of Light, but this hope had already been crushed before my return to the past.
I was never able to summon any spirit until the day I died.
This fact made me even more jealous of Ray.
Spirit of light, what’s up with that?
In ancient times, Milanaires could make the sun rise and made life grow with the spirit of light’s help.
But can they even use the spirit to light up lamps to illuminate dark night roads? Wouldn’t it be useful for rummaging through an underground warehouse?
A trivial firefly that barely maintains its authority by relying on a story from the past, that all the Imperial Family has become.
And I could not acknowledge the authority of such spirit.
Even Ray, who stood on top of me with that frivolous authority, never had my recognition.
So I decided to pick up a sword and kill him, then I forcefully took the authority spirits had on the world for myself.
I declared, with a blood-stained sword in hand, that I would personally ascend the throne, end the era of legends, and start one of rationality.
But in the end, I failed.
Unable to summon spirits, I was named a tyrant and executed within a few years after taking the throne.
Perhaps it is true that the spirit of light decides who can be emperor. My miserable end must have been the punishment it inflicted upon me for my arrogance.
“Nanny, do you really not know where Dorothy went? My friend came to visit today, and I wanted to introduce him to her.”
As I crouched down in the grass to think about the past, I heard Ray’s voice near where I was.
Friend? If it’s a friend, they must be the same age as Ray, but if I were to meet them, they’d just drive me crazy.
I didn’t want to see the spirits that didn’t want me, or Ray’s stupid friend, so I decided to run away from the garden altogether.
“Dorotheaaaa,” Ray kept screaming.
An unexpected hide-and-seek game began between us, and I crept away to avoid Ray’s eyes. The good thing about being a little kid was that I was small and could hide anywhere.
I did scratch my tender skin against the bushes’ branches, but it was way better than playing with Ray. Carefully moving through the bushes, I was finally able to get out of the garden.
‘I’m sorry, nanny. I should go up to take a nap,’ I thought.
I tried to quickly run up to my room with my light feet, but…
Bang!!!
I was only concerned about getting caught by Ray and didn’t pay attention to what’s in front of me. So I bumped into a black object coming from the corner and fell on my buttocks.
“Ouch…”
Who else was in my place other than the nanny and Ray?
Servants came to this place only when they needed to clean it.
“Sorry. Are you okay?”
A hand appeared in front of my face.
It was white and pretty, but too small to belong to an adult. I quickly raised my head and looked at the person I bumped into.
When I saw who the hand was attached to, I couldn’t hold it and froze.
“Are you seriously hurt?”
A pair of beautiful red eyes were looking at me.
“Theon,” I whispered, shocked.
As the words left my lips, the boy before me opened his eyes as if surprised by the name that flowed from the tip of my tongue, but quickly smiled.
Every little change in his expression stuck to my eyes, making them sparkle.
“Do you know my name?”
His soft voice flew towards me.
He’s still young, but nevertheless, I missed the voice I haven’t heard in a long time.
Why are you here…
I felt like I should run away from him, but my body didn’t listen to me.
My heart was beating faster, louder than ever, and running toward Theon.
Theon Fried.
Someone who showed me how love made hearts beat.
Intense red eyes contrasting with his classy-looking dark hair.
Despite his scholarly eyes, he had a solid body that seemed to be able to run in the field all day.
But what shook my heart more was how gentle and polite his tone was while talking to me.
“Nice to meet you, Princess Dorothea Milanaire,” he nicely greeted me.
Theon Fried, who thought of silence as a virtue, did not talk much; he was a person who shined softly like the moon that illuminated the dark night.
And even right now, he
was still shining beautifully in front of me.
“Ah…! I am really sorry. It must be hurting a lot,” Theon anxiously apologized.
He knelt next to me with a slightly bewildered look on his face.
His white handkerchief gently wiped my cheeks.
It was only then did I realize that I was crying.
Tears, I didn’t feel, were dripping down and wetting my face.
“Your clothes got very dirty. Can you get up?”
Theon gently brushed the dirt and grass off my skirt, as if worried.
His kind words, which I wasn’t used to, made me collapse completely.
I shut my lips tightly to hold back the tears, but emotions slipped through the gap.
I was saddened and hurt so badly. But at the same time, I was filled with joy.
“Theon…Theon…” I cried his name out.
I was so afraid to meet him again, so I tried to forget about him and live my life. But I felt like I was going crazy because I wanted to see him so badly.
My love, my husband…
The one chose death, and abandoned me..
His last words were filled with anger and resentment towards me.
‘Remember, your greed killed me,’ he told me as he took his last breath.
But even after leaving me like that, he was now alive and so beautifully standing in front of me.
I ended up holding onto his collar, voicing my intense longing with pitiful cries. I knew he would think of me as strange, but I thought I would die if I didn’t say it.
“I miss you so much…” I said, choking with tears.
You left me, and I became a tyrant and I was executed. I went to see you so many times. I tried to paint your face into my mind for a very long time until now.
Theon gently wiped the tears from my cheeks with his hand, even though he didn’t understand what I meant.
Why are you so warm to me now?
You never gave me a glance. You didn’t even hold the hand I reached out to you.
How many people knew that the great tyrant, Dorothea Milanaire, had never actually kissed her husband?
“Hey…Don’t cry.”
Theon mumbled strange words as he hugged me. He tried to soothe me and patted my back.
His warm and soft arms wrapped around me.
Oh, Theon, please…
It was the first time that I felt his arms. The warmth made me cry louder, just like the child I looked like.
“Uh…uh..” I kept crying, unable to control the pain.
Just because he was alive and well, I felt like I had fulfilled my duty in this second life. He might even be the reason I returned…
“Dorothea!”
Then a bright voice came from afar. Ray, running towards us from the garden, stopped and looked at me then stared at Theon, before frowning.
“Theon, did you make Dorothea cry?” Ray asked, his eyes glaring at him with an uncontrollable coldness.
