The Tyrant Wants To Live Honestly

Dorothea got into the carriage with Theon.

sitting on a swaying carriage, Dorothea’s emotions also rattled and shook uncomfortably.

After Ethan Left, the shaking seemed to get worse.

Dorothea remembered the dark spirit that Theon had shown her.

* * *

“I like you, Princess.”

Dorothea stopped breathing and froze in surprise at Theon’s sudden confession.

Theon looked at Dorothea like that and continued.

“Of course, it may not be passionate and hot love.”

Because the word I like you is a combination of various emotions.

Theon’s emotions were closer to mysterious purple than passionate red. The blue of friendship and the red of love, an ambiguous emotion that lies somewhere in between.

Theon didn’t know exactly how to name it. Even in the episteme he never learned the definition of this emotion.

What is clear is that this is a deep affection.

At first, it was simply affection for Raymond’s younger sister. A pretty and cute little sister of a close friend.

But gradually other colors began to seep into the clear light that was only blue.

The first time he met her, she burst into tears. The night she picked up Fried’s handkerchief that she had missed. The way she swung her sword, shimmered with beauty. The day she struggled to hide her tears after fighting with Carnan. Their lips touched while fishing together in Fredia.

And Dorothea, who colored the debutante with a dazzling light.

The red color that was mixed in drop by drop gradually turned into a mysterious light that could not be named.

A person whose heart keeps breaking. Someone you want to reach out to. Someone to love.

A feeling that has grown deep to be seen only as a friend’s younger sister.

It is neither blue nor red, so it is a more subtle and fascinating light.

“It may sound vague, but it’s true that I like the princess.”

His confession was honest, and that made Dorothea even more confused.

He’d rather tell a raw lie that he loved her, or draw the line at not loving him.

‘Why are you asking the other person a question with an unanswered emotion?’

‘What is the reason for presenting something that is neither hope nor despair?’

Theon, who was staring at Dorothea, who was confused, spoke again.

“There’s only one reason I’m being honest with you.”

Theon also knew that his confession would further confuse Dorothea and him.

However, there is only one reason to honestly confess feelings that are not clear.

“I need the power of the princess.”

To tell his deep secret, he needed honesty.

He revealed a long-hidden secret in front of her.

The spirit of darkness came like night and erased the light of the romantic incense candle that lit the table and swallowed the sunlight that fell on the white plate.

At last, Dorothea faced his deep darkness.

As blind as the spirits of light, which were so blind as to be hard to open their eyes, the spirits of darkness were so dark that they were afraid to close their eyes.

Theon’s figure in front of him disappeared in pitch black, and Dorothea couldn’t even call his name, as if even her voice was eaten by the deep darkness.

A dark night without a single star or moon. The vast darkness, as if nothing would be there even if you stretched out your hand.

So Dorothea was about to cry.

‘Did Theon endure this fear alone? When I killed Raymond, didn’t you want to kill me?’

Her eyes, which were so dark that she could see nothing, could only cry.

She knows she needs to help with the Spirit of Light, but she wants to give him her hand first, but she was afraid that he might see her ugly face when the darkness disappeared, so she buried herself in the darkness and cried.

And when Theon withdrew the dark spirit, Dorothea buried her head in her hands and could not raise her face.

“Princess…?”

Theon stood up in surprise, he found Dorothea crying in the dark.

He approached her and looked at her.

Theon felt sorry for Dorothea, thinking that she was very surprised by the sudden darkness.

“I’m sorry, Princess. The spirit….”

As she tried to appease Dorothea, she grabbed him by the sleeve.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier…A little earlier…”

Dorothea bit her lip as he looked at her.

‘Then it wouldn’t have happened in my first life. Why didn’t you tell me? I was your fiance…’

Perhaps it was because Dorothea before the return was not good.

‘Because I am not good, because I am not trustworthy, because I am selfish and greedy.’

‘I resented him and felt sorry for him at the same time, even though I knew he had his reasons for not telling me.’

* * *

And Theon asked her to marry him, just as he had before in the first life. If there’s one thing that’s different from before, it’s that he’s honest with her.

So Dorothea just has to accept his offer.

Marriage is a family business, after all. Besides, his feelings are purple, and he’s a pretty sweet guy.

Not a bad choice. No, the best, just a good choice that would atone for feeling sorry for him.

So Dorothea didn’t have to think about it.

For the sake of being good, for the sake of Theon’s life, it was ‘right’ to be engaged to him.

But…

“I’m sorry, Theon. It’s too sudden.”

Dorothea couldn’t answer his proposal and finished her meal at Caro.

Theon did not further urge her, who shed tears in the presence of the Dark Spirit.

So the two got up from their seats and climbed into the carriage.

The carriage carrying Dorothea and Theon was heading towards the Imperial Palace.

She didn’t even understand why she was hesitating.

‘It’s a marriage to Theon that you wanted so much, I just had to do it. What’s so hard about that?’

“Princess.”

Then, Theon called her as if he had something to say.

His deep, red eyes weighed Dorothea’s heart down even more.

“Everything I said today was serious.”

He stared at Dorothea with unshaken eyes.

‘I know, your life depends on it. That I have to do this.’

“So Theon, I….”

“So I want the princess to think seriously about it. I want the princess to not regret it.”

Dorothea hesitated and tried to part her lips.

“What do you mean…?”

“Marriage is…not something you just do for me.”

Theon’s words snapped Dorothea back to reality as if she’d been hit in the head.

“I’m proposing, not threatening.”

Theon smiled faintly at Dorothea, who was engulfed in conflict.

He didn’t want to marry as a means of pity, compassion, or atonement.

He was being honest with Dorothea because he wanted her to be honest with him about her feelings.

He was serious about marrying her, and he meant it.

“Marriage is also for the princess. It is also what determines the life of the princess. So, even if you say no, it will not change that the princess is precious to me.”

It was then that Dorothea realized that her thoughts were in the wrong direction.

Perhaps she was trapped in the simple word ‘kindness’ and she was doing what Theon had done to her.

marriage without love. An unwanted pity.

Dorothea was doing the same things to Theon that tormented and hurt her.

Dorothea clenched her fists tightly in her lap

“But what about the spirit of darkness…?”

‘Still, you’ll need me.’

“There must be another way. and…even if we are not engaged, can I ask the princess for help?”

Theon smiled softly.

But Dorothea felt the smile turn sour.

‘Mixed feelings, could we have loved so passionately if only we had been honest earlier?’

As Dorothea’s expression darkened, Theon asked.

“Are you concerned about Ethan Bronte?”

Theon is a smart person.

The reason Dorothea’s answer didn’t come out right away can be inferred.

“Do you love him?”

‘I love Ethan…?’

Dorothea looked at Theon in surprise.

She had never before ever connected Ethan with the word love.

Ethan told her that he loved her, but it was still a feeling of floating, unrealized emotion.

Ethan was nothing more than a loyal servant and friend to her from before her return until now.

It was strange to put the word ‘love’ to Ethan like that.

“As I said, I want the princess to seriously consider this marriage. therefore… I want the princess to confirm her feelings for sure.”

Dorothea has only avoided her feelings until now. Because she always thought her own feelings were bad and wrong.

‘I thought it would be wiser to live in achromatic colors because if I try to paint on white paper the way I want, I always end up with the wrong color.

I was afraid of liking something and afraid of hating something.’

TL: Achromatic colors are neutral colors such as white, gray, and black.

Like a machine, she kept repeating to herself, “I have to be good,” and she tried to make everything about being good.

But Theon was really focused on Dorothea. Besides living a good life, what do you really want to do?

‘what I want…?’

‘My desire, my greed… No, my hope or my wish. What is that?’

Dorothea is faced with an unexpected problem.

Theon didn’t press Dorothea, who was confused.

“I’ll wait for your sincere answer.”

‘Whether it’s a yes or no.’

* * *

After dropping Dorothea off, Theon burst out laughing as he went home.

‘What the hell were you talking about, Theon Fried.’

‘What a great way to validate my feelings…’

The soft smile he’d worn in front of Dorothea was gone, replaced by a hard darkness on his face.

He knew. That Dorothea’s heart was already leaning toward Ethan Bronte.

‘What do I do when I don’t have enough time to survive and ask her to marry me?’

‘I even tremble like this.’

* * *