The Tyrant Wants To Live Honestly

My body didn’t get better easily.

After taking sleeping pills and starving for three days, I could barely quench my hunger with milk and bread. 

Well, I did fight a grown man, walked in the wilderness for an entire day, so it was only natural that my body had reached its limits.

After safely returning to the Imperial Palace and suffering from a high fever for nearly a week, my body temperature finally entered the mild fever stage.

While I did gradually recovery, there were no noticeable changes in my condition.

“Princess, are you okay?” asked the new nanny.

Yes, the nanny who had taken care of me so far was fired from the Imperial Palace because of the kidnapping.

It wasn’t even the nanny’s fault. 

There’s nothing that she could have done.

And I felt like what happened to her was my fault.

But, fortunately, she was not punished any further.

“I think it would be better for the Princess to go somewhere else to recuperate.”

“But after what she just went through outside, shouldn’t she stay in the Imperial Palace, where it’s safe?”

The doctor and the new nanny whispered in small voices.

Recuperate?

The two of them were talking very carefully, but that word caught my attention.

If I were to go somewhere else, I couldn’t stay away from Carnan, Ray, Theon and Julia.

And…

I need to regain my former strength.

This whole catastrophe made me realize that even if I wanted to live a good life, I also needed to be able to defend myself.

I needed to be strong.

Until now, I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to properly handle that power again.

I feared that I would use it to take lives and enter the path of tyranny once again.

But power was like a blade.

If used incorrectly, it would harm others, but if used well, it can help cook delicious meals, or save lives.

I could use what happened as an excuse to go somewhere far away from here, and build my strength up.

I couldn’t do here because there would always be eyes watching me.

As long as Carnan, Ray, and Theon were close by, I would never have the courage to pick up the sword again.

“I want to go somewhere else to recuperate.”

“Princess!”

“It’s so suffocating here.”

This is the first time I have properly expressed my opinion after the kidnapping, so the nanny and the doctor looked at each other with a surprised gaze.

Then someone knocked on the door.

“Knock, knock. Hello, I’m a flower~”

The door opened and Ray, whose face was covered with a rich bouquet of flowers, came in.

“Ta-da”

Ray showed off the flowers with a soft smile on his lips, but I didn’t smile at all.

His behavior only seemed foolish in my eyes. He’s been visiting me every day since I went through the kidnapping, so today was not a big surprise.

“Are you here, your Highness Raymond?”

“Dorothea, are you okay today?”

Ray handed a bouquet of flowers to the nanny, asking if she was embarrassed by my non-response.

He was wearing an episteme badge on a white shirt, so he probably came here right after finishing his classes.

“What were you talking about?”

He came naturally to me, sat down, and smiled. But I didn’t look at him.

“We were talking about how to help the princess recuperate because she is not feeling well.”

“Recuperate?”

“There is a separate palace in Ceritian that wpuld be perfect for her Highness. The climate is mild and it is near the beach, so the princess will feel refreshed there.”

“Still, Dorothea’s health has improved a lot. Does she need to go?”

Ray seemed to be subtly opposed to me leaving.

“I want to go,” I finally said.

“But Dorothea, if you go there, you’ll be alone.”

“I don’t care.”

It’s not like I’m not alone here.

“Dorothea…” Ray whined, staring at me.

His eyes were like those of a puppy begging for food, and the sight made me frown.

Why are you looking at me with those eyes?

As he moved his gaze away, he suddenly said:

“Right. You will soon go to Episteme. You are just the right age to take the entrance exam this year.”

Ha, why do I have to stay here and episteme?

I burst into laughter.

“I’m not going to Episteme.”

“Why? Dorothea, if you take the exam, you’ll be able to enter Episteme as a senior since you are smart…”

“I can’t go.”

“yes?”

“I can’t go,” I repeated.

“Why do you think you can’t go…?”

Why do I think I can’t go? Is he serious?

“Are you intimidated because people say it’s difficult to study there?” Ray asked innocently. 

He looked so pure that it’s annoying.

Ray had quite a hard time getting into the Episteme. He passed the Episteme entrance exam with the minimum score level.

And even that mediocre score was thanks to the private and strict education he received beforehand in the imperial family.

The long history and tradition of the imperial family make it clear that a Prince can drop out of Episteme at some point, but he had to enroll there.

Ray suffered from that tradition, and there were several times when he whined in front of me that he didn’t want to study.

Yet, he doesn’t even know how I feel.

“I’m barely able to do it, but Dorothea is smart enough, so you can definitely do it. Don’t give up easily.”

“Giving up easily?”

My lips twisted at his gentle words of comfort.

Am I giving up easily? On Episteme? Do you know how hard I initially studied to get in there?

Do you know how much I cried and protested the day Carnan ordered me not to go?

There have been times when I escaped through the palace to take the entrance exam, but got caught and locked up in my room.

It happened over and over again, until I gave up on Episteme completely… 

How much things I had to put up with, and how long did it take until my determination was broken?

But he’s here talking about me giving up easily? The person who always got everything handled on a silver platter to him? 

“I have nothing more to say to you, Ray. Get out.”

“Dorothea…”

“GET OUT!!!”

As I shouted sharply, Rey’s eyes shook and lit up with a bewildered light.

The nanny and the doctor were also looking at me with the same look.

“I’m sorry, Dorothea… I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want you to stay here and be with us.” Ray bowed her head and apologized. 

Making the nanny and the doctor’s expression change to sympathy.

Ha…look at this, I’m a mean bitch again.

What a delightful picture we make; a good older brother who worries about his younger sister and a younger sister who is hysterically annoyed by said brother. 

This was the relationship between the legitimate Crown Prince and the unwanted princess.

I really wished I could be as kind and pure at heart as Ray.

I bit my lip and didn’t answer to his apologies.

“I’ll just leave, ”Ray looked at me one last time before he quietly stood up.

After Ray left the room, the nanny approached me, saying,

“His Majesty Raymond did this because he was worried about the princess.”

I know! I know!

Ray is good and I am bad. It’s a truth everyone knows.

I didn’t want to hear the nanny’s sweet comforting words, so I covered my head with the blanket.

Now, I had a real reason to leave.

* * *

For the first time, I was grateful for Carnan’s indifference.

He threw my demand away as if he couldn’t care less whether I left to recuperate or not.

Soon after discussing the subject with the nanny and some of the servants, everything was decided.

So, I headed to the south palace, which occasionally serves as the summer vacation home for the Imperial Family.

“Welcome, Princess Dorothea.”

The manager of the detached palace welcomed me and opened the door.

A white stone building stood, facing the emerald sea.

There was no Ray and no Carnan in sight, and there were no old memories buried in every corner.

The Imperial Palace in the capital was not only the place where I was born and raised, but also the place where I killed Ray and where my love Theon died.

It was also where my people and servants came in and made me kneel like a criminal and dragged me to the square.

Looking back, I was amazed at how I had survived that palace until now.

But, I did avoid places where the bad memories were more present…

I’m glad I came here.

The more I thought about it, the more satisfied I was, and I took a deep breath of fresh air.

I needed a place without old scars.

“My name is Clara, I will be the one to accompany the princess here,” A woman in a white apron greeted me.

Clara was the first maid who came down from Lampas and was not originally in charge of me.

Even though she looked young, she seemed to have come to this corner of the country after being pushed out of the handmaid ranks.

“From now on, you will be staying in this room.”

I was led to a room with a terrace overlooking the sea. It was a clean, sunny room, with a cool sea breeze blowing in from the open terrace.

I was satisfied because the scenery was completely different from my room in the Imperial Palace.

While I was looking around the room, someone knocked on the door.

And I turned around to find a man big enough to fill the door’s space standing there.

“This is the knight Stefan Greenwall, who will be with the princess in the future,” Clara said, introducing me to the escort knight who would be by my side while I was staying in this private palace.

The knight had short black hair, tan skin,and a scar crossing over one of his eyes. 

He was overwhelmingly tall, with broad shoulders, and strong muscles.

“Stefan…!”

I almost acted like I knew him.

My escort knight was Stefan!

A man who will rise to the rank of deputy commander of the Brilliance knight order, the best knights in the Empire.

He was one of the top five most talented people I’ve known my entire life.

But I didn’t like him.

So much so Stefan also died at my hands.

Before returning, my relationship with Stefan was not that deep.

At that time, after leading my army throughout the islands and taking over the Imperial Palace at once, the last thing left was Raymond.

And Stefan was the knight who was guarding the last gate between me and Ray.

“Nice to meet you, Sir Stefan,” I greeted him then, wiping my blood-soaked sword.

I had never actually met  him before that day.

I was interested in him because he was quite famous among Knights, but Stefan was not the kind of person I could get along with.

The haughty and tightly closed lips he had now were the same back then too.

“The princess said hello, but you didn’t answer. You still are not polite,” I remarked.

“….”

“How arrogant!”

I didn’t like Stefan who stayed silent until the end.

When I looked at him, he didn’t bother to answer, I felt like he didn’t think the princess’s words were worth listening to.

It reminded me of all the silent treatments I received my whole life.

And instead of answering to my words, Stefan took out his sword that was much longer than that of an ordinary knight.

* * *