The Tyrant Wants To Live Honestly

The lessons I learned throughout my life were mostly bad, although there were also some good ones. Well, I guess I deserved it; after all, I was evil.

I had everything I ever wanted.

Money, power, even men.

I got rid of anyone who bothered me and granted power to those I liked.

The whole world rested in the palm of my hands.

But in the end, having it all ruined me. 

Who would have thought that the life I believed could bring happiness, would end in a handful of shabby ashes?

But, perhaps the things I believed to be mine never truly belonged to me in the first place, as they vanished like a mirage…

The man I loved despised me and chose death over being with me.The friends I shared my power with betrayed me.

People pointed fingers at me, calling me a tyrant, and in their anger, they burned my palace to the ground.Yet amidst the destruction, it looked beautiful–shining splendidly as it went up in flames.

That’s when it hit me, and I realized this was good enough.

Yes, I finally learned my lessons.

Therefore, I gladly accepted death.

* * *

“Uh-uh, peek-a-boo!”

But what is this situation? I thought as I saw a familiar face fluttering in front of me.

Wait, is this my old nanny?

I struggled, trying to move my limbs but I had no control over my body.

And instead of the adult hands I was used to, a pair of small and chubby baby hands–as white as cotton wool–helplessly stirred in the air..

“Princess Dorothea, look over here,” the nanny said, twirling some toy above my head but I was too distracted by what she just said to pay attention to it.

Dorothea? Did she just say Dorothea?

As in my name, Dorothea Milanaire?

As in me, the reigning Empress Of Ubera–who was born a princess and ascended the throne after killing my brother,the crown prince, with my own hands?

But, how can this be? I was just executed in front of everyone.

 I died..

“Princess Dorothea, you are so pretty. How can you not smile even once?” the nanny said while looking at me with a sullen expression.

Well, moments ago, people were calling me a tyrant and demanding my death. It’s no wonder I can’t laugh!

Yet, that wretched and regretful ordeal vanished like an illusion..

Did I imagine it all? Was it just a nightmare?

Honestly, I’d prefer If it was all a dream…

But, the vivid memories still chilled my neck, haunting me like a painful reality.

Overwhelmed by unbearable distress, my heart felt heavy and tears surged from the vulnerable eyes of this youthful shell.

“Oh, My God! Are you hungry, Princess?”

The nanny quickly hugged me as I cried my heart out. Suddenly surrounded by the warmth I never received but craved for a long time, my worries instantly melt away.

And I thought that perhaps what I saw was a premonition.

A warning to live right.

A chance to escape a life stained with misery and regret.

Though exhausted and lacking the burning passion for life I once had, I had no choice but to embrace this second chance.

That’s right, I cannot let things end the same way this time around. I have learned my lesson, and will definitely not repeat the same mistakes.

So, let’s live well.

That is my goal for this second life.

* * *

However, I quickly realized that as a helpless baby who couldn’t even speak or walk, there wasn’t much I could achieve. 

All I could do was lie in a cradle, squirm while looking at the spinning toy above me, eat when someone decided to feed me, and sleep. 

So, I decided to stop lamenting and be grateful for this comfortable life I was given.

These past few days have been blissful and enjoyable..

It’s been so long since I slept this well, so those moments felt like a true paradise for my insomniac adult self..

And as I was about to surrender to sleep once again, which was more precious than jewels to me, a sudden noise shattered my peace.

“Doro….Dorotheaaaa!” a weird voice called out to me..

“Oh, my little sister!” exclaimed a little boy with excitement as he appeared above my cradle.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked.

My brother Ray’s blue eyes–clear like the sea on a sunny day–wavy platinum blonde hair, and chubby cheeks filled my sight. 

This boy was my older brother, Raymond Milanaire, who died by my hands.

“I missed you, baby!” Ray continued with a bright smile. His rosy cheeks looked like peaches, and a scent of fresh milk emanated from him.

His pure, defenseless round eyes looked at me lovingly.

Ah, I forgot that he had those eyes. The eyes that led me down the path of tyranny; they were disgusting to look at.

“I will protect you baby,”he continued.

Yeah, he was always like this.

The rightful prince, Raymont Milanaire, always said he’d protect me but never really did.

His eyes, burning with such earnestness, looked so ridiculous to me that I snorted.

He might not remember but I killed him, my own brother, with my own hands and took the throne that was meant to be his. So, hearing him say he’ll protect felt like a joke.

The day I stabbed his heart was still tattooed in my mind. The sensation of his blood dripping down my hands remained so vivid, I could feel it even now.

‘I can’t make the same mistakes again.’

Killing Ray was the starting point of all my regrets.

It can never happen again.

I can’t take the pain a second time.

I need to let go of the hate I had for Raymond and tolerate whatever he does…

“It’s so chewy and soft.” my brother exclaimed again, patting my face with force until my cheeks felt torn.

‘I have to be patient, I have to endure and not kill him. I have to be patient…’ I kept reciting this as a mantra to calm myself down.

“So cute!”

But Ray kept pulling on my cheeks and stretching them out.

So, my patience naturally reached its limit.

“Aww!” I cried as loudly as my baby lungs permitted me, and pinched Ray’s hand.

“Baby! Don’t cry!”

Maybe the pinching really hurt him because Ray let go of my face in a hurry, then ran out. 

 And since I was finally at peace, I stopped crying as soon as he left.

‘Ahhh, I’m trying to live a good life, but he won’t stop touching me!’

Unfortunately, not long after, he came back with the nanny who looked startled and immediately took me in her arms to comfort me.

“Prince Ray!” she said with an accusing tone.

“I didn’t touch it hard…”

“The princess’ cheeks are burning red. So do not lie to me, my Prince!”

At the nanny’s scolding, Ray made a pouting face and puckered his lips.

“But she’s so cute.” he whined, then grabbed the nanny’s arm and stepped closer to gaze at me.

My round, pale face filled his vision.

‘Oh please, can someone take this kid away?’

Since I killed him myself in our first life, I think it’s pretty obvious that I didn’t like my brother very much. I despised his dullness, frustrating kindness, and stupidity. I couldn’t make him see how better he had it compared to me, and how unbearable life was for me.

And while I felt sorry for ending his life, it didn’t mean I would happily accept his hot breath on my face.

‘It’s unpleasant. I feel like a donkey was sniffing right on top of me.’

As I wrinkled my eyebrows in disgust, Ray smiled and asked before pushing out his pink lips, 

“Baby, give me a kiss!”

‘What?’

He then made the most terrible sound I’ve ever heard in my life. Horrified, I looked at him as his pouting lips, full of saliva, kissed my cheek so deeply that it made a disgusting wet and squeaking sound. 

Hell spreads out in my eyes.

‘Ugh! dirty!’

“Aww! Huaa!” I struggled with as much dissatisfaction as I could. And fortunately, Ray was startled enough by my crying to step back.

‘Please,God, take this guy out of my sight so that I can live a good life this time!’

But I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be an easy task with him here.

* * *

My growth was rapid.

 I was still the same height as my peers, but I spoke and walked much earlier than them.

Well, It was only natural that I, who already knew how to do it and practiced intentionally, was faster than others.

Needless to say, the nanny  and Ray were amazed at my amazing abilities.

“Humanism? What does that word mean?” Ray asked loudly next to me.

“It’s a philosophical stance that highlights the importance and value of human beings.”

“How does Dorothea know that? Waw, look at our little genius!”

Ray hugged me tightly.

He smelled of fresh grass, and his frizzy blonde hair was all over my face so I grumpily told him, “Get away from me.”

“Dorothea, you are so small and cute. How do you know all those wonderful words?”

“I told you to let me go.”

“There is no other baby as sweet and smart as my Dorothea in the world!”

Ray ignored my rebuttals, grabbed the three-year-old me and hugged me again. My tiny body was lifted in the air like a rag doll before being trapped in his arms..

‘Why is he so strong?’

Ray, who was now five years old, was so strong that he could even lift me, and shake me up and down.

 As I was a bit unfocused, he sneakily stuck out his pink lips and kissed my cheek Five times!

But, unlike when I was merely a newborn, I could speak and express my opinions accurately now.

So, I did just that.

“Ughh, repugnant!” I half-screamed as I wiped where Ray’s lips had touched with the back of my hand.

* * *