TISND Chapter 94

Chapter 94

Helena, who had given Aiden time to talk with Mrs. Baron, silently leaned against the wall. Until now, she had delayed the decision of leaving to Aiden. But now, it was clear that it was time to let him go. While waiting for Aiden to return, she started thinking about what she should say to him. She needed to send him off without hurting him too much. She had to avoid saying anything too harsh.

She tried her best to accept the situation calmly. Yes, in a way, this was something she had expected. It wasn’t the first time she had gone through something like this. She was used to people judging her not by her character, but by her connection to the Eskel family.

Still, there was no denying that her heart felt like it was crumbling inside her. Every time she closed her eyes, she remembered the words Mrs. Baron had said to her. The look in her eyes, how she refused to believe her no matter how much she insisted…

Just because it was familiar didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. But she couldn’t let herself crumble. She couldn’t show weakness now; not at this moment. If she did, it would only hold Aiden back.

“Helena.”

After a long wait, Aiden entered the room, looking exhausted, having finished his conversation with Mrs. Baron.

“You’re here, Senior.”

She greeted him calmly and observed him carefully. Until now, Aiden hadn’t hesitated about staying, but now he would have no choice but to hesitate. Helena understood his feelings.

Unlike Helena, who had carefully thought about what to say, he seemed to still be struggling to find the right words. He couldn’t bring himself to speak and simply stared at her. The mixture of guilt, conflict, and despair in his eyes made his thoughts feel tangled and unclear. So, before he could speak, Helena decided to break the silence.

“…Senior.”

“Why?”

When she spoke, Aiden responded with a despondent expression, as though he already had an idea of what she was about to say. He expected her to coldly urge him to leave.

Of course, Helena had thought about that possibility as well. But for some reason, she didn’t want to say it now. Perhaps because she felt that this could be the last time.

It wasn’t easy for her to speak coldly and crush his words in the final moments.

“It’s okay.”

So, Helena decided to say something completely different from what he expected. Aiden, taken aback by her unexpected words, widened his eyes in surprise.

“You said this before, right? That you could abandon your family. That I shouldn’t worry, that you’d be fine on your own. I remember you saying that.”

“…”

“But I don’t think you can abandon your family.”

And then, Aiden seemed to realize that these were the last words she would say to him, spoken in a calm manner.

“You see, Senior, you truly love and care for your family. Even though sometimes it’s hard because of the burden and responsibility, you still care about your mother and younger sister. How could you abandon a family like that? I know you were trying to reassure me, but I can see through it.”

In the quiet room, the sound of Aiden inhaling deeply could be heard.

“So, Senior, you can go and protect your family.”

“…Helena.”

“They’re the family I could never have, no matter how much I wished for it. Please protect them, at least for my sake.”

Helena didn’t cry. But as she spoke, Aiden’s face slowly began to show the signs of tears.

His decision to stay by her side, putting family second, was driven by stubbornness. He thought this might be his last chance.

It had been painful when they grew distant at the academy. It was unbearable when he had to ignore her when he accidentally ran into her in the hallways.

He had hoped things would be different once he joined the medical institute after graduation. But as time passed, all that grew was regret. Perhaps they could have been like other couples, happy together. He thought only he could truly understand her, someone who was often lonely.

That’s why he couldn’t stop himself from sending her letters, asking to meet, and eventually going to Frantor. He didn’t regret that decision, but at times, he couldn’t help but worry about his mother and younger sister. They needed him.

Still, maybe one more year wouldn’t hurt. By then, if things worked out with Helena, everything would be okay. Maybe a little selfishness wouldn’t be so bad. After all, he unconsciously thought that his feelings for her should come first.

“So, I’m okay, Senior.”

“Aren’t you angry at my mother?”

“Who? Mrs. Baron?”

Upon hearing the news that his mother had barged in, Aiden quickly came here. And finally, he was confronted with Helena’s pale, frightened face. He knew his mother wasn’t exactly known for being kind. She had probably said harsh words to her.

“I told you, I’m okay.”

Helena replied faintly with a smile.

“I understand. When I say I’m okay, it’s not a lie.”

In the end, the same thing that happened at the academy occurred again. Seeing her standing silently, Aiden called for the servants. He then asked them to organize his belongings, just in case anything was left in the mansion.

***

There was almost nothing left in the mansion. Aiden had never planned to leave much behind. He had only wandered around her like a traveller. There was just a small bag.

He didn’t even clearly remember how he left the mansion. Helena had arranged a carriage for him, and Mrs. Baron and Aiden took it, leaving the capital to return to his hometown.

Aiden probably wouldn’t be able to stay in Gilgallen for long either.

They rode in the carriage, leaving the mansion behind. Mrs. Baron busily inspected the carriage.

“Hm, is this the kind of carriage nobles usually use? It doesn’t seem as luxurious as one from a Duke’s family. But the cushions are quite nice, I wonder if it’s expensive?”

She spoke to her silent son.

“Darling, do you know what the butler gave us earlier? A check! With this amount, we could live off it for months. We should think about what to spend it on from now on!”

“Do whatever you want, Mother.”

“What?”

“You’ll do whatever you want anyway. You decide what to spend it on.”

“Really? Hmm, I appreciate the thought. You’re my one and only good son. I’m glad you finally came to your senses. How do you feel? You must have been jolted back to reality seeing me. Aren’t you relieved to be leaving the mansion now? If you’d waited any longer, something terrible might have happened. From now on, just trust me and follow me, okay?”

She seemed pleased that her son had left the mansion without any issues. Still, Aiden just lowered his head in silence.

“Oh, is she tired? I guess she must be.”

After a while, the Baroness fell asleep, snoring loudly. The carriage, which had left the capital some time ago, was now speeding toward Gilgallen.

Aiden, still unable to sleep, let out the tears he had been holding back, crying silently.

“Damn it, damn it, damn it…”

He had desperately wished to be with her, hoping that by staying by her side, he could form the bond that had never made back at the academy.

At first, he had resented her for pushing him away. Did she dislike him? He couldn’t understand why she kept telling him to leave.

They were so well-suited to each other. Now, he was confident he wouldn’t leave her side. What did it matter what anyone else thought?

But now, he thought he understood.

Even if they had been together back at the Academy, even if he had been happy, he wouldn’t have been able to make her happy.

Both in the past and now, he realized he could never protect Helena. In fact, he would only become an obstacle for her. No matter how hard he tried, the wall of reality was too strong to break.

Especially since there were people he had to protect, it was an even harder thing to bear. Helena had realized that truth before he did. Even though he had sworn to protect her, he had only ended up relying on her care. How could he, who had been so weak and incompetent, confidently say he’d stay by her side? His weakness and inability overwhelmed him.

It was truly the end now.

‘Helena, my Helena.’

To prevent his mother from hearing him, Aiden pressed his mouth shut and struggled to hold back the sobs. He couldn’t stop the tears running down his cheeks. His heart felt like it was being ripped apart.

Hey Guys you can read advanced chapters on Patreon
If you liked my work and want to support me then you can visit my page for tips. As I can’t create Kofi because of the unavailability of Paypal in my country, I’ve made this tier which is being updated every week so that you won’t be charged again till you want to donate again by yourself or you can exit the tier after donating 🙂.

Happy Reading 🩷