TISND Chapter 88

Chapter 88

That night, when Helena returned to her room, she tried to wash the bonnet that had become a mess, but it was no use. Due to the material, stains couldn’t be easily removed. It was the bonnet Emma had bought for her, thinking it would suit her. Trying to push aside the bitterness, Helena was about to put the bonnet away when, just as the sun was setting, the mansion became noisy.

The servants, who had been gossiping about her, hurriedly went about their business. Could something have happened? Helena noticed one of the servants and asked, “The mansion is in an uproar… is something wrong?”

“Oh, well…” The servant seemed hesitant, as if the matter was difficult to speak of. “They found the traitor. His Excellency is making the decision himself…”

The bloodshed was about to begin in earnest.

So, the “man” Jane had mentioned was indeed a traitor. Helena thought. Given Caligo’s past actions, there must have been countless traitors along his path. However, judging by the serious atmosphere, it didn’t seem like an insignificant person had turned out to be a traitor.

Helena followed the servants as they gathered. They were heading toward the stable behind the mansion.

There, she found Caligo, covered in blood. From a distance, his menacing gaze was evident. The cold anger burning deep within his soul was palpable.

Helena slowly looked down his blood-covered face. She had seen him a few times before but didn’t know him well. He was a member of the elite guards that Caligo personally raised, she recalled. So, this man was the traitor.

Maybe he hadn’t been a traitor from the start. Even so, it was likely Eskel who had turned him into one. Everyone present surely knew this fact.

As the servants stared at the body on the floor, their gazes turned toward Helena, as if wondering if this might be her future. Helena looked at the bloodstains on the ground and turned her head away.

“Get rid of that disgusting corpse quickly. I don’t want to see it for even a second longer,” she commanded coldly. With the sound of her voice trailing behind her, she walked away.

*

Caligo watched silently as Helena walked away. Someone offered him a handkerchief to wipe the blood splattered on his face, but he refused it, too focused on watching her.

His body felt as if it was burning. Whether it was due to anger or something else, he didn’t know. One thing was certain—it was because of her.

After severing the traitor’s head, she had turned and left, but his body was still aflame, almost making him dizzy. Caligo clenched his fist, trying to calm the unrest within him.

Only recently had he realized that the subordinate who had sworn loyalty to him was a traitor.

It had been from an anonymous letter sent by the “Forget-me-not.”

The betrayal of a subordinate he had never suspected. Though he had thought it would be a familiar occurrence, it still hurt. He wondered what kind of scheming had led his loyal follower to change so suddenly.

His resolve to completely ignore her came from that. Even though she seemed so innocent, he couldn’t help but think that someday, she, too, would turn her back on him and leave. After all, what could he expect from a woman already involved with someone else?

His emotions, unrelated to logic, burned with desire and turmoil, but he vowed to cut them off without mercy.

He had learned recently that she had met Aiden after fleeing the hunting grounds, and though he had been told to attend the banquet by Raul, he returned to the mansion and saw them together. It was a hollow feeling.

She seemed to have no lingering attachment to him at all. Despite the situation where she was being scorned by others, she still stubbornly went to meet the doctor. He felt empty.

Though he had promised not to get involved with her scandal, it was clear he cared more about it than he had initially admitted.

Even as he tried to suppress his feelings, they surged uncontrollably.

Once again, he planned to simply clench his fists and suppress his emotions.
Whether he ran into her by chance and lashed out with harsh words, or ignored her and walked away,
he thought he could suppress his feelings like that again.
That’s what he had intended.
But he could no longer do so.

Not once had he ever lost his composure.
Yet his feet refused to listen to him.
The impulsive, fiery part of himself that he thought he’d buried kept resurfacing.
Strangely, it always seemed to happen when it involved her.

“I have something to tell you.”

After a quick wash, Caligo headed straight to Helena’s room.
It was said to be the sunniest room in the mansion.
But perhaps it was just his imagination—her room felt shadowed and dim.
The curtains weren’t drawn, yet the space felt dark.

“Go ahead,” Helena said.

She poured tea for him herself, seating him across from her on the sofa.
Despite the mansion buzzing with rumors about her, she appeared calm and composed.

“It’s about that doctor,” he said.

“……”

A crack appeared in her composed expression.
The thought of the woman he desired reacting to another man made him feel unpleasant.

But Caligo didn’t want to reveal how much her affairs affected him.
At the very least, he didn’t want to show her how foolish she made him.
Even if it meant biting back his sharp emotions, he had to suppress them.

“I told you before that I wouldn’t interfere in your affairs, but with rumors spreading this far, I can’t just sit back and do nothing.”

“Why… why does this concern you?”

The more he suppressed his jealousy, the more bitter his words became.
Unlike the typically reserved Caligo, sharp remarks spilled from his lips like arrows.

“I told you before—I don’t care what sort of disgraceful things you do.”

“……”

“But if you don’t protect your position, it’ll be a problem. You’re bound to me for a year, whether you like it or not. Have you already forgotten that?”

Is it really that hard to keep to the agreement? Caligo asked.

Even then, Helena avoided meeting his eyes.
Does she hate the sight of me that much now? A sudden surge of emotion flared within him.

“I asked you—do you find it so hard?”

“……”

“Do you want me to kill that man, Helena?”

Only then did her gaze return to him.
Her tear-filled eyes, faint but unmistakable, made him sigh softly.

Does she only look at me when I say such things?
Otherwise, she’s always turning away, never meeting my gaze.

He thought he knew everything about this woman.
But whenever he tried to grasp her, she slipped away.
Even when he looked for her in the fields she frequented or by the children she often visited, she wasn’t there.

Maybe that’s why—why I keep wandering around her.

“I’m not asking for anything unreasonable,” he continued.

“All I’m saying is to fulfill your duties as the Duchess.
It’s not as if you’re being unfairly treated.
I’m affected by these scandals just as much as you are.”

“……”

“Why don’t you answer?
Do you hate speaking to me that much?”

“That’s not…”

“Then answer me properly.
Say what you need to while I’m still willing to hear it.”

“……”

“Wasting time on something like this is tiresome.
It’s an issue that could be resolved quickly by dealing with the cause.”

“……”

“But you wouldn’t want to see that doctor dead, would you?”

“…You’re right,” she whispered.

It was the response he had expected, yet his hands trembled with anger.
He hated how her kindness was directed toward someone else.
Toward the doctor. Toward anyone.

He wanted to claim her completely.
Every word she spoke, every gesture—he wanted it all to himself.
He wanted no one else to even see her.
For her kindness and goodwill to belong to no one else.

Even though he knew he should rid himself of her, the conflicting desire burned fiercely within him.

A brief silence to steady his emotions.

Helena seemed to think he was angry because, when their eyes met, she immediately looked away again.

Again.
She won’t even look at me properly.

Caligo knew what would keep her gaze on him.
He understood her guilt all too well.

If he could hold her gaze for just a moment, it wouldn’t matter what happened to that damned doctor.

“Dismiss him. Do it yourself.”

As expected, her gaze returned to him.
Caligo let out a silent, satisfied sigh and waited for her answer.

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