TISND Chapter 80

Chapter 80

Calligo leaned back against the sofa, mulling over Rosalith’s words.

Until now, he had meticulously crafted his image to ensure he was never underestimated by enemies or those who might become enemies one day. He had relentlessly pushed himself, striving to maintain his composure at all times. To achieve this, he had undergone rigorous training as a ruler, always choosing the greater good over personal desires.

In the midst of all this, he had earned the reputation of being “perfect.” Though he had worked tirelessly to achieve such an evaluation, it left him with a bitter taste. Outwardly, he might appear flawless, but he knew better than anyone that this was far from the truth.

He had struggled constantly to keep his rationality intact, but deep down, he knew he was still like a child. Looking back, he remembered how impulsive and fiery he had once been, unable to conceal his anger. He was greedy, too, always wanting to acquire what he desired by any means necessary.

He had merely suppressed and hidden these flaws.

But that didn’t mean he had lived an impeccable life. If one examined closely, his life was riddled with failures and filled with an overwhelming sense of loss. Those he had loved were all gone, leaving only the weight of responsibility to press down on his shoulders.

“I trust you, my child.”
“Take care of Frantor.”

Before he had even reached adulthood, his rash decisions had cost him his parents. The ones who had once protected him were gone. He had felt the void of their absence most acutely when the world’s reproach began to rain down on him.

He had failed to protect his older brother simply because he was not considered the perfect heir. His brother’s death, too, was entirely his fault.

“Take care of the children.”

His brother had thrown himself into harm’s way to protect him. Even recovering his brother’s body and returning to Frantor had been an agonizing ordeal.

Dodging death countless times on the battlefield, Calligo had carried his brother’s bleeding body as arrows rained down and swords flew toward him.

Even as a commander, he had stubbornly fought at the front lines, which made retreating from the battlefield a slow and dangerous process. Let alone carrying a corpse—it had been far from easy.

“My lord! Leave this to me and focus only on moving forward!”

“Under no circumstances can you fall back from here!”

His comrades-in-arms had sacrificed themselves for Calligo.

He was the sole ruler of Frantor, and losing him would have put the entire nation at risk—a fact Calligo knew all too well.

The people he had to protect—Frantor’s citizens, his comrades, his friends—had all thrown themselves into the fray to protect him. They took the arrows meant for him, their bodies torn apart by blades.

He ran, witnessing his cherished ones give their lives for him. He couldn’t even retrieve their bodies, forced instead to keep moving forward. He ran, shedding tears, screaming in anguish and helplessness, and fled the battlefield with a broken heart.

He couldn’t even recover from the sorrow of losing his family, and then he lost others as well. His life was saved by the sacrifice of many.

He swore to live without shame for their sake, to ensure that those who had sacrificed would never regret it.
He believed that was the meaning of his life.
But then why…

“Eh? Why aren’t you answering me? You still think you’re perfect, right?”

“Well…”

Rosalith Eskel was the daughter of a man who grew up on the blood and suffering of others, flourishing through power and manipulation. She seemed ignorant of the workings of power and politics, yet ignorance was no excuse.
Someday, this woman, too, would have to pay for the people she had trampled on to get where she was.
She was a repulsive woman.

Even so, the reason I kept her around was simple. I feared I might get useful information from her. Or perhaps she could become a puppet, serving my purposes. Though, given the circumstances, I doubted she’d be of any real use.
It didn’t matter if Count Eskel knew. That was none of my concern.

“Tch, this is boring.”

She was the daughter of the Count, a force that I would have to destroy eventually.
For the sake of those who sacrificed for me, I had to bring down this power.
But why… did this simple logic not apply to that woman?

Calligo suppressed his smile, watching the shadow through the door of the reception room.
It didn’t matter whether it was Helena Eskel or Rosalith Eskel. They were both daughters of Eskel, both figures who had trampled on innocent people to rise.

Just as Rosalith Eskel’s innocence could not absolve her,
I knew that Helena’s goodness could not serve as an excuse either.

Just as I showed indifference toward Rosalith Eskel, I would have to draw a line with Helena and take what I wanted from her.

Because I knew she was no different from the others.
Having lived a painful life myself, I wanted to see that woman suffer, to be wounded and tormented just as I had been.

Just as I had burned with the desire for revenge, I needed to bring that same vengeance upon her.
For the sake of those who bled for me, this was the only right thing to do.

The woman I had to take revenge on seemed to be constantly oppressing and tightening around me.
Even though I had done nothing, her innocence and kindness made me hesitate.

She was a woman I had to break, yet I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Even though I had thrown harsh words at her, I couldn’t bring myself to take harsh actions.

I didn’t mind shedding my own blood, but I couldn’t bear the thought of blood spilling from her delicate skin.

Until now, he had maintained an ambiguous relationship with Helena, unable to act one way or the other.

He allowed her to be near her family but kept her at a distance from him.
He only kept her within his sight.
But now, he had to stop doing that.

She was a woman who had someone else, a man with whom she was to build a future.
It felt guilty to have these thoughts about her, leaving behind those who had sacrificed their lives for him.

He was exhausted.
Desiring alone, and feeling guilty about it, was exhausting.
Pretending not to care when seeing her close with another man was exhausting too.
The intense jealousy at her scandal with that man was exhausting.

Pretending to push her away, trying to be indifferent and uttering cruel words, was tiring.
He was also curious, wondering if she would react, as he made sure to appear friendly with a woman he found disgusting.

He was simply tired now.
He wanted to be free from it all.
From a woman he could never have.
The ambiguous relationship with her had to end.
If it didn’t, it seemed like it would drag on forever.
Like a wound gained in battle.
If he acted indifferent, the relationship with her would simply become another trivial matter.

“your Grace, what if we had met earlier?”
Rosalith spoke up.

“I’m not sure what you mean, Lady.”

“You know exactly what I mean. Don’t pretend you don’t.”

The shadow still lingered outside the room.
The shadow, which had been wandering like a lonely ghost, stopped abruptly. Perhaps it had overheard the conversation inside the room.

“Perhaps if I had met you first, would you have married me?”

With no change in his gaze, Rosalith leaned closer, almost as if to tempt him, speaking in a soft, sultry voice.

“Wouldn’t I be better than Helena?”

“…?”

“I’m an honest person. And I’m devoted.”

Even now, the shadow lingered at the edge of his gaze.
It was a shadow that didn’t even move.

“That might be true.”

He struggled to break free from the metaphorical shackles. The more he struggled, the sharper his words became.

He no longer cared whether she was hurt by what he said.

“Perhaps honesty would suit me better.”

“Oh, really?”

“I’m sick of hiding and pretending.”

Yes. Perhaps if he had met Rosalith Eskel for the first time, she might have been easier to handle.
This woman, who had a romantic side, might have been easier to use.

She would have been simple to manage.
He wouldn’t have felt these uncomfortable emotions, nor would he have spent time worrying about what she might be thinking.

Even though he was well aware that she was listening from outside, Caligo didn’t stop speaking.
He just wanted to get away. From this tiresome desire, from the responsibility and guilt.

“Maybe it would have been much better than now.”

“I think so too, my lord!”

Rosalith’s face flushed, clearly pleased with his answer.

“But fate exists for a reason, doesn’t it? Even if our paths diverge, we will meet again eventually.”

Caligo, without turning his head, focused on the shadow that lingered in front of the reception room. The shadow trembled slightly, almost as if it were his own.

“Fate and love have great power. They can melt the hearts of others. Perhaps they can even stop fights and conflicts. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the world moved toward a better direction this way? Don’t you think so, Duke Caligo?”

Like a candle flame flickering in the night wind, the shadow finally disappeared in an instant, as if fleeing. Had it completely disappeared? Even though there was no more sign of it, his eyes relentlessly tracked the narrow gap of the door.

“…Duke?”

When he didn’t respond, Rosalith looked at his face, her expression slightly pouty. He had been answering easily, but it seemed like he was lost in some other thought.

What exactly was he looking at? After a moment, she turned her gaze, but all that was visible was the firmly closed door.

Hello Guys, you can read advance chapters on Patreon and if you liked my work and want to support me then you can visit this link for tips. As I can’t create Kofi because of the unavailability of Paypal in my country, I’ve made this tier which will be updated every week so that you won’t be charged again till you want to donate again by yourself or you can exit the tier after donating 🙂.

Happy Reading 🩷