TISND Chapter 44

Chapter 44

The butler began to explain the events of the past.

“At the time, His Grace likely felt he had no choice. Frantor was on the verge of being breached, and the remaining forces had already been lost in battle. Before the enemy could launch another full-scale attack, he insisted on hastily gathering more troops, even at great risk.”

“But because of that…”

“The late Duke and Duchess were killed.”

Helena couldn’t even begin to imagine the immense grief Caligo must have felt.

“After that, His Grace changed significantly. The fiery recklessness he once had subsided, and he strove to never show any weaknesses.”

The butler’s voice trembled.

“Though in the end, he also lost Master Adrian.”
As he continued, tears streamed down his face.

“In the past, His Grace seemed so genuinely happy. The late Duke and Duchess loved Master Adrian as if he were their own child. It was such a joyous time.”

“Why… why are you telling me all this?” Helena murmured, her face clouded with guilt.

“Like you said, Master Adrian lost his life because of my father.”

“I know that. But, Madam, whenever the Master is with you, he seems at peace.”

“…What?”

“I simply came here to ask you to stay by his side.”
The butler smiled sheepishly.

“And by the sides of Young Masters Jeremy and Joshua as well.”

“…”

“Whenever I see the two young masters, it feels as though I’m looking at both the Master’s past and his present.”

“I hope all of you can find happiness,” he added sincerely.

“It seems I’ve rambled on for too long,” the butler said, bowing his head. “My apologies for taking up your time.”

“There’s no need to apologize.”

Helena’s face showed a mixture of emotions after hearing his story. Seeing this, the butler offered her a gentle smile.

“His Grace is napping in the study right now.”

Then, almost out of nowhere, he made an unexpected suggestion.

“Would you mind checking on him to ensure his blanket is properly covering him?”

“Why are you asking me to do that?”

“I’m old, and my legs aren’t as strong as they once were. I know it’s a bold request, but I would greatly appreciate it.”

Wearing an enigmatic smile, the butler bowed politely before leaving abruptly.

—

Helena made her way to the study.
As the butler had said, Caligo was lying on the sofa, fast asleep.

She picked up the blanket that had fallen to the floor and carefully draped it over him again.

The butler must have been mistaken.
At peace?

Helena couldn’t reconcile the idea. Even just sneaking a glance at him made her heart race.
She held her breath, afraid her movements or even the sound of her breathing would give her away.

The word “peaceful” felt like the farthest thing from her feelings. At least, that’s what Helena thought.

Could it be that he looks so peaceful because he doesn’t have feelings for me?

Hmm. If that were the case, it would sting a little.
But that didn’t mean she would give up on her feelings for Caligo.

She chuckled quietly to herself at the thought.

“Ugh…”

Was he having a bad dream?
Caligo furrowed his handsome brow, beads of cold sweat forming on his face.

Helena hadn’t intended to learn about his past, but now she knew.

It was a past far more painful and sorrowful than she had imagined.

The actions he had taken to protect Frantor had instead put his family in danger.
A past where he had no choice but to fight desperately, with no retreat.

Her heart ached for him.

“We must grow stronger.”
Caligo had certainly said that to her.

And now, after hearing about his past from the butler, she could faintly understand what he meant.
How hard must he have worked to gain strength, to protect the ones he loved?

“I hope you can be happy,”

Helena whispered, placing her hand on his sweat-drenched forehead.

“Truly.”

He deserved to be happy.
She knew all too well how much effort Caligo put into protecting the people around him.
How he risked his life in countless battles for the sake of Frantor.

Someone who had lived so desperately surely deserved a bit of happiness.
She truly hoped he would find it.

—

It felt as if he were dreaming.
The moment he saw the figures before him, he knew it was a dream.
Because the people standing there were those he would never see again.

The dream showed Caligo his past.
A time when he proudly walked with his father, mother, and brother, gazing out over the mountains.
The happiest time of his life.

His much older brother had taught him horseback riding, and they often went on outings as a family.

But Caligo didn’t necessarily miss his younger self.
As a child, his thoughts and emotions were written plainly on his face.

Even his intent and plans were all too obvious, making him a person with many enemies. But it hadn’t mattered back then—he was confident in himself.

“Frantor will fall if this continues!”
He had shouted at his father in fury after losing all his subordinates.

His father hesitated, then finally spoke.

“Yes. Protect Frantor. No matter what happens, protect this land and its people.”

At the time, he hadn’t understood what those words meant.

He couldn’t comprehend why his father wouldn’t gather more troops, even in such a dangerous situation that might lead to Frantor’s fall.

It was only after his parents’ deaths that he finally understood.
He understood the hostility that higher authorities bore toward Frantor.

As a child, he had believed that protecting Frantor would make everything whole.
Those were the foolish thoughts of his younger self.

The feeble emperor feared competent nobles, and even now, endless power struggles continued.

“Caligo, protect the children.”

“I swear it. Even if it costs me my life, I will protect them.”

He vowed never to return to the frailty of his younger years.

He resolved to think of the man named Caligo as someone who had never existed in this world to begin with.
He would live only as the ruler of Frantor.

Occasionally, he found himself longing for the past, recalling the days spent with his brother.
But he believed that such a life would never come to him again.

Until that day.

“Are you the Duke of Frantor?”

The day he heard the emperor’s proposal to marry one of the noble faction’s daughters for the sake of political harmony.

He headed toward the forest often visited by the daughter of Eskel.

A peaceful forest, untouched by the elaborate greenhouses or roses tended by nobles—just wild grass growing abundantly.
It was in this place that he first met Helena.

As they exchanged a few words, Caligo found himself drifting into sleep. Perhaps it was the exhaustion from years of battle.
Falling asleep beside the daughter of Eskel, of all people—now, thinking back, it felt absurd.

“Goodbye for now?”

It was there that he began to find peace again.

“You were sleeping so soundly, I couldn’t bring myself to wake you.”

Before he knew it, a blanket was draped over his body, and a rolled robe served as a makeshift pillow beside him.

He should have remained alert. Yet,
“Have you eaten?”

“What?”

“If not, would you like to eat together?”

She didn’t ask much—just if he had eaten, or mentioned how the weather was warmer and the wild grass grew better now.

Watching her, Caligo found himself thinking of the past—the peace he once thought he could never have again.

A simple life, made up of trivial moments and meaningless words.

Yet, it was these very ordinary moments that had been stripped away by the man who once disrupted his peace.

Now, the daughter of that man had returned that sense of calm to him.

It was a laughable irony.

—

“I hope you find happiness.”

The voice, spoken softly in his half-dream state, stirred something deep inside him.

It felt like a distant echo, a fleeting moment from a dream, yet it cleared his mind.

Caligo slowly realized there was someone beside him. Though he didn’t open his eyes to see, he knew exactly who it was.

The familiar scent surrounded him—a scent so distinct that it clung to him even after she left the room.

Moments later, Helena quietly rose from her spot beside him. Caligo watched her leave with a dazed look, his gaze following her carefully.
She must have stayed for a while, as the lingering scent continued to linger in the air.

Unaware that he was awake, Helena slipped out of the study.

Caligo sat up, staring out the window. Through it, he could see her—along with the children, laughing in the distance.

“What kept you out there so long?”

“I was keeping an eye on you, making sure you weren’t slacking off.”

“What? You think you can just watch me like that!”

It was a moment—a simple, fleeting moment—but it felt perfect.

A life he had long sought after, one he thought was impossible to reclaim. Yet here it was.

Caligo couldn’t look away. Her presence, her essence, felt as if pulling him toward something deeper—something beyond reason.
It was like the sun didn’t rise in the morning, or the moon disappeared at night. Without her, the world felt incomplete.

Initially, he had approached her to seduce and win her favor. Yet, in truth, it was Caligo himself who found solace and warmth in her presence.
Her vitality, her ability to see the world with kindness—it made him yearn for something more.

Despite all his efforts to resist, despite his deepest desires, he couldn’t deny the truth any longer.

He wanted her—desperately, madly—to possess her.

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