Chapter 4
It had truly been a long time since Jeremy had worked up such a sweat. Being cooped up in the estate left little room for physical activity until he was drenched in sweat.
After lying on the ground, panting for a while, Jeremy finally recognized Caligo.
“Father!”
He shot up and ran into his father’s embrace.
“You’ve come back! I’ve missed you so much.”
Caligo, who had been gently running his hand through his dirt-covered son’s hair, seemed slightly surprised.
“By the way… when did the two of you become so close?”
“Me? That can’t be right! We’re not close at all.”
From the looks of it, they were merely playing in the dirt. Helena, glancing around awkwardly, answered in place of Jeremy.
“He helped with the farming.”
“I didn’t help! She tricked me into doing it!”
“What do you mean ‘farming’? What’s that about?”
Caligo questioned as he noticed the well-kept backyard.
“It felt like a waste to leave such a large open space unused.”
Yet, just moments ago, she had complained about the chore being bothersome. Jeremy found Helena’s sudden change of demeanor odd as she stood before his father, clearly tense, unable to meet his gaze directly.
Her hands were clasped neatly, and her voice trembled slightly as she spoke.
“I just got bored. I wanted to try farming.”
That wasn’t the only strange thing. Jeremy knew Caligo.
He was closer to a warrior than a typical noble. Honest with his emotions, he didn’t beat around the bush with words.
If he didn’t care, he didn’t care. If he was angry, he showed it clearly.
Even with his ex-wife Melissa, he acted coldly, yet with his comrades in battle, he acted like a child.
But now… something felt off.
“…Is that okay?”
“I didn’t say no.”
“So, I can do it?”
“It’s not something you need my permission for.”
Jeremy couldn’t tell if they were friendly or at odds with each other.
“The lord of the estate is His Grace the Duke, so naturally, I’d need his permission.”
“Technically, for now, you’re the lord of the estate, so you don’t need my permission.”
Is this what people call ‘close’? Or does it feel as cold as ice?
With Melissa, conversations rarely lasted more than a few words.
It was all business, all formality, checking only the necessary details.
“Alright, if you say so, I’ll take it as your permission.”
Still, there was a strange atmosphere between the two.
It felt cold yet somehow thoughtful, like they were constantly aware of each other, talking endlessly.
Naive Jeremy wondered if they had briefly forgotten his presence entirely, so engrossed were they in their conversation.
“Do whatever you like.”
It wasn’t a clingy look like other couples or lovers, nor was it distant and aloof.
What kind of relationship did they have? Jeremy couldn’t help but wonder.
“Looks like you’re back sooner than expected.”
Meanwhile, Helena discreetly brushed the dirt off her fingers, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
She didn’t expect love.
But showing her dirt-covered appearance to someone she secretly admired was still slightly embarrassing.
“Is something going on?”
“There will be a northern conference soon.”
“Already?”
“It seems there’s a lot of dissatisfaction spreading everywhere.”
The southern part of the Empire is vast, with both land and sea. To the north lies a fierce battlefield, bordering enemy territory.
Thus, the northern lord had to muster soldiers for the battlefield. While military training costs were supported, the resulting dissatisfaction was significant.
Frantor, being the most influential force in the north, attended the meeting as the chair.
“You need to prepare as you will also attend.”
Caligo’s brief words were followed by him turning away.
War.
The mere mention of the word made Helena’s expression harden. Even though she had lived most of her life in the west, war was not something she could remain detached from.
“You.”
Once Caligo left, Jeremy tugged at Helena’s cloak.
“Don’t you get along with Father?”
Even a child could sense the oddness between the two of them. Helena gave a faint, fleeting smile.
“Why? Does it look like I do? Do you find it strange?”
“Why would I care?”
“Or do you want me to be close with His Grace the Duke?”
“Stop joking around!”
Seeing the child’s eyes widen and voice rising without understanding, Helena felt a pang of guilt.
Two years ago, in the battle of Faralda.
During the endless wars, Count Eskel chose to pass military secrets to survive.
Some who saw Caligo as a thorn in their side eventually handed these secrets over to the enemy.
Eskel’s leaking of military intelligence led to the annihilation of his battalion.
In the process, Caligo lost his beloved older brother, Adrian.
“Don’t ever try to get close to Father! Don’t approach him at all! Got it?”
For Jeremy and Joshua, their father had been taken away by her family.
“…Okay, I understand. I’ll make sure His Grace is well taken care of.”
“You don’t need to tell me that!”
Thus, it was impossible for her to seek love or compassion from them.
Perhaps it was natural for Caligo to dislike her. At any moment, he might want to tear her apart.
“Father! Let me go with you.”
She always thought living under such guilt was her destiny. She couldn’t be part of that warm and loving family.
This was the best she could do—watching from afar.
That’s why she readily refused to take on the role of a mother to Jeremy.
In fear of ever causing them harm… they deserved a perfect mother, not someone like her.
“Are you not coming?”
Caligo spotted her at a distance and asked.
Looking into his gray eyes, Helena felt her head spin.
It was like staring into the eyes of a wolf.
“Me too?”
Helena tilted her head in confusion at his unexpected offer of company, and he added,
“There’s something I need to talk about regarding the meeting.”
“Then I’ll go. Just wait a moment.”
She hurriedly packed her tools and followed the two.
*
“Is Joshua returning soon?”
Joshua.
Jeremy’s twin brother. However, for the past year, he had been attending a boarding school in the north.
Naturally, Jeremy had planned to attend the school alongside his twin, but Joshua insisted on going alone.
Eventually, Jeremy was left to guard the vast mansion alone.
“It’s only natural for you to attend the meeting.”
“Really? I’m so excited! Joshua, that little rascal. Even when I send letters, he never replies.”
“Maybe he’s busy with academy life.”
“If he went with me, it would be much better. Why insist on going alone?”
Helena followed them, keeping a slight distance as they talked. Her mind wandered to what Joshua might look like.
Perhaps he was a mischievous, playful child, even more so than Jeremy.
“Regardless, I should prepare a gift for when Joshua arrives!”
Excited at the news of Joshua’s return, Jeremy hurried upstairs, bounding down the steps.
“Helena.”
As Jeremy descended, Caligo suddenly called out to her.
Caught off guard, she stumbled slightly, her mind flashing through the idea of falling in a clumsy heap down the stairs.
She reflexively closed her eyes, bracing for the impact.
“This is ridiculous.”
Before she could hit the ground, Caligo caught her. His hand gently wrapped around her waist.
She hadn’t expected him to help. The sensation of his touch sent a jolt through her.
Even though his hand rested only on her side, her entire body felt electrified and heated.
“I’m sorry. I was lost in thought. Thank you… for catching me.”
Still shaken, she awkwardly pulled away from his grasp, fumbling to regain her composure.
“…Don’t look away.”
Caligo’s gaze was intense as he held her, his brow furrowed slightly in warning.
“Yes, I won’t. Sorry, but why did you call me?”
“Prepare something light before Joshua arrives.”
“I’ll let the servants know.”
But a question lingered in her mind. What did Caligo really think about her?
Did he truly despise her? Or was there something else?
His deep, unreadable eyes made it difficult to discern his thoughts. Helena couldn’t even summon the courage to meet his gaze.
As the servants had said, the most plausible explanation was that he saw her as a convenient option for a contract marriage.
Yet, what if there was a different reason? She couldn’t help but entertain that thought.
It was only natural to despise her. Yet, part of her wished he didn’t. A contradictory desire.
“Oh?”
Helena’s focus was suddenly pulled by a sight on Caligo’s shirt—a smear of dirt.
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I must have gotten it on you.”
She quickly wiped her hands with a damp handkerchief, trying to remove the remaining dirt.
Still, some traces remained. It seemed she had unconsciously grabbed his chest as she fell.
“There’s dirt here…”
When he asked where, she instinctively reached toward his chest with her fingers.
In an instant, Caligo seized her wrist.
Her eyes widened in surprise, not expecting him to grab her so firmly.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to touch you.”
Perhaps it was because she thought he might dislike physical contact. She offered a quick apology.
“This is something I’ll take care of.”
Caligo exhaled sharply, his voice a sigh.
“…Alright.”
Though it seemed insignificant, her heart pounded uncontrollably. Helena held her breath to avoid showing her nervousness, but her clenched fists trembled in spite of her efforts.
