TISND Chapter 35

Chapter 35

The moment I realized the emotion enveloping me was jealousy, I froze in place as if struck.

It was a feeling I had believed irrelevant to me.

I was born with everything, destined to rule. Life had granted me so much that it often felt dull and monotonous. Thus, I thought jealousy was an emotion reserved for children.

As the heir to Frantor, I was raised under strict discipline, valuing reason above emotions. A monarch’s gesture could determine the life and death of countless soldiers. To save those lives, I had to follow reason over emotion.

Never once had I imagined my reason faltering. I believed every part of me was as stable and unwavering as a straight, polished blade.

Or so I had thought.

And yet—

‘Could it be that good?’

Watching the man casually standing by Helena’s side, pure rage ignited within me.

The thought that he might be her lover filled me with a blinding, overwhelming jealousy.

I wanted to tear him apart and leave his body to rot slowly in the land of Caeyar.

It was a clear intent to kill. Though I had spent my life on the battlefield, never had I experienced such sharp murderous intent.

“Your Grace, I apologize for dropping by unannounced.”

I had resolved to ignore her.

But whenever I looked into her eyes directed at me, that resolve crumbled effortlessly.

“I heard you’re reorganizing before the next campaign, so I thought you might be running low on the medicine I gave you last time. I brought some more.”

Even as I took a deep breath or averted my gaze as if fleeing, I couldn’t help but remain rooted in place.

“I also brought some ointment for athlete’s foot, though it probably won’t be much use during a battle. So I packed some wound dressings for emergencies instead. I also brought a little antiseptic.”

Jealousy. The idea was absurd.

Turning away, I averted my gaze from her.

She was someone I was bound to let go of anyway. Our marriage was a product of pure reason, nothing more.

If we were to part ways, there could be no trace of emotion between us.

I mustn’t dare to covet her.

For her sake, it was better to draw a line.

Yes, this was the right thing to do.

“…Your Grace?”

For a long while, there was no response. Helena tilted her head slightly and looked up at him. After briefly gazing at her, Caligo stood before her.

When her eyes met his, Helena flinched and took a step back. His fierce eyes bore down on her, and his cold voice followed.

“This is a place for knights prepared to lay down their lives on the battlefield.”

He was the lord of Frantor. The weight of countless lives pressed heavily on his shoulders. Even in the face of his dying brother, he had vowed to fulfill his duties. And to avenge him—without fail.

He had no intention of passing his desire for revenge onto his children. He had no right to stop them from loving her.

But at the very least, he believed he could suppress his own emotions.

“Refrain from coming here uninvited.”

He bit back the emotions threatening to spill out. The more he held them back, the colder his words became.

“Oh.”

Helena’s startled eyes trembled.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“I just wanted to be of some help before you departed.”

Her wounded gaze quivered pitifully. Caligo stifled the instinctive urge to step toward her.

Every word he uttered felt excruciatingly difficult. Even seeing her trembling eyes before him was unbearable. If only she would lash out at him instead.

But she couldn’t even do that. She seemed so foolishly kind.

If only she had demanded he not ignore the effort she put into preparing this, screaming at him with bloodshot eyes. If she had cursed him, both of their hearts might have felt lighter.

But Helena never did.

Thinking back, not once had she ever looked up at him with resentment in her eyes.

He felt sorry. But he still believed his decision wasn’t wrong. If this was going to end anyway, it was better not to start at all.

Before harboring any clumsy emotions, their relationship had to be cut off. He thought that by retreating like this, he would eventually forget her.

“I’ve never asked for your help. If I had, I would have said so beforehand.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“So don’t come here anymore.”

He had to forget her. For his brother, for the twins who called him father, he had to.

For Pedro, who lost his daughter and his sight. For the subordinates who willingly followed their monarch’s dangerous revenge plan, blinded by vengeance.

For those fighting on the battlefield even now.

He realized that the hostility he felt toward Aiden was, in truth, jealousy.

He had turned away from it, but it was a fact he could no longer deny.

“You haven’t forgotten, have you? Our deal.”

“……”

“Don’t overstep your bounds. Fulfill your duties.”

Before I could fully grasp the name of the emotion I felt toward her, I had to sever it. How could I feel anything but vengeance for the daughter of my enemy?

“How could I forget? I’m sorry for coming here so recklessly,” Helena said with a forced smile. It was obvious she was trying to hide her hurt.

“This won’t happen again. I truly apologize.”

“Your Grace!”

At her apology, Aiden called out to me, his tone almost protesting.

“Senior, don’t,” Helena said softly, looking up at him with an awkward smile. Then, as if whispering, she added,

“…Your bangs.”

“…”

“I just wanted to tell you that you look really good with your hair brushed back. It’s a silly reason to come all this way, isn’t it? I shouldn’t have done it…”

“I’m sorry, Your Grace.”

With that, Helena turned and walked away.

‘You look good.’ It was a compliment I had secretly wanted to hear. That must have been why I impulsively cut my bangs.

Caligo let out a hollow laugh, running his hand through his hair.

“Father.”

Jeremy, who had stayed behind, called out to me. He had not followed Helena out of the training ground.

The child looked at his father with an expression he had never shown before.

“Helena belongs to me.”

“…”

“Even if you’re my father, if you hurt her, I’ll never forgive you.”

“Jeremy.”

“Right now, I really hate you.”

With those words, the boy, glaring at me, turned and ran after Helena.

—

“This wasn’t supposed to happen…”

She fled as if running away. It felt as though she had been running endlessly without a destination before finally coming to a stop.

Realizing that Aiden, perhaps out of consideration, had not followed her, she found herself completely alone.

Helena looked up at the sky and drew a shallow breath.

A pained sigh escaped through her clenched teeth.

Caligo wasn’t wrong.

“I forgot for a moment.”

He had merely reminded her of the truth she had momentarily set aside.

It was her father who had killed Caligo’s brother, who had taken the twins’ father from them.

No matter how much she tried to escape it, it was an undeniable fact.

She was Eskel’s daughter.

No matter that she had settled in Frantor—her father’s sins wouldn’t disappear.

Maybe I was mistaken, thinking we had grown closer.

She had let herself get carried away, hoping that meeting face-to-face would somehow draw them closer.

It was foolish. All she had done was burden Caligo unnecessarily.

“How stupid…”

Loving him, as Aiden had said, was proving to be a heavy burden.

At first, she thought she could keep her feelings to herself. She didn’t expect him to return her affection; being near him had been enough.

But feelings are strange things. Little by little, she began to want more—a glance, a word, anything that might connect them.

Was it even right for her to love him?

Could the daughter of a criminal dare to harbor feelings for him?

He wasn’t an ordinary man. Her father had taken his brother from him, and yet… could she still love him?

She had never doubted her love before.

But now, for the first time, she was wavering.

Should she give up?

She looked up at the sky, thick with ominous clouds.