Chapter 167
The treatment process required three steps.
First, she had to ingest the poison. It was a toxin that, under normal circumstances, caused massive hemorrhaging. Its name was Oratio—a poisonous mushroom whose name meant “prayer.” When Helena first heard it from the physician, she found it an unfitting name for such a deadly mushroom. The name “prayer” hardly suited a mushroom that could cause such dreadful bleeding with just one dose.
Oratio was a rare mushroom with characteristics unlike other poisonous fungi. Unlike those that grew parasitically on dead animals, Oratio grew mainly on cliffs in hot regions. Not just on cliffs, but improbably on withered trees clinging to the rock faces. The combination of those conditions made it extremely difficult to obtain.
Moreover, Oratio was as tough as sinew and had such a tenacious life force that it grew through the rock like a vine. There was even a story of a traveler who fell off a cliff and happened to grab hold of an Oratio vine, saving his life. Some believed this story to be the origin of its name, “prayer.”
While creatures like poison frogs and snakes acquired toxins through their diet, Oratio produced its poison all on its own. The only threat it faced on those remote cliffs was the harsh wind, and yet it carried a deadly venom. People who enjoyed storytelling would often say the lonely Oratio bore its poison like a grudge.
The fascinating thing was that someone had once used Oratio as medicine.
In a distant land, a person had survived a venomous snakebite—where the venom stiffened muscles and blood vessels—by using Oratio to induce severe bleeding. Though it was a story passed on by word of mouth, scholars believed it was worth trying, even if physicians were more hesitant.
Second, after ingesting Oratio, a wound was made to let the poisoned blood flow out.
Third, and most dangerous: after expelling all the poisoned blood, the wound was treated to stop the bleeding, and then the Oratio toxin was neutralized. Fortunately, there was an antidote to Oratio.
Additional medications would help the body recover from the severe blood loss. It was essentially a gamble. You bled yourself out, then hoped you could stop the bleeding and survive the recovery. The physicians were more afraid of death from hemorrhagic shock than from the poison itself. And modern medicine had yet to discover a safe way to perform blood transfusions.
***
Because of how dangerous the treatment was, the twins could not stay by Helena’s side. On the day of the procedure, Caligo told this to Joshua.
“Why not?”
Joshua shouted, unable to accept it.
“You said it’s a dangerous procedure! That’s exactly why I should be with her. I have to stay by her side!”
“That’s why you can’t be there.”
“I don’t understand you, Father! I could help! If the doctors need an extra hand, I can assist. I can memorize the medicine names and fetch them when needed.”
“There are plenty of others who can do that.”
“Is it because you’re afraid I might cause trouble? I’m not a child anymore! If you tell me to stay still, I’ll stay still. If you say not to talk, I won’t say a word until it’s over. Please, Father!”
“It will be brutal.”
“I’ve already seen blood in the mercenary guild. I’ve been wounded too. I’m not afraid anymore.”
Joshua knew. He knew this might be the last time he’d see her. That’s why he desperately wanted to stay by her side, to convince his father.
“…Helena was the one who asked you not to watch.”
“…”
“I know you want to be there for her. But please try to understand her wishes too.”
If it had only been his father’s decision, Joshua would have kept trying to persuade him. But since it was Helena’s own will, he couldn’t argue anymore. And somehow, he understood her feelings too.
She didn’t want them to see her like that. Possibly for the last time.
“There will be resistance, I’m sure. Explain it well to Jeremy too. If there’s any change… I’ll send word immediately.”
Seeing his child’s face twist as if he were about to cry, Caligo gave a bitter smile. After gazing at him for a while, he gently raised his hand and patted Joshua’s head.
***
While Helena received her treatment, Jeremy and Joshua were to wait nearby. Of course, Joshua had to work hard to convince Jeremy, who also threw a fit, saying he couldn’t leave Helena’s side.
Jeremy eventually gave in, but he insisted on saying goodbye. Helena accepted this, and Jeremy went up to her bedroom, gazing at her silently. He wished she could receive treatment in a better place. But Helena had insisted on staying in Horion.
Her bedroom, which would now serve as an operating room, felt cold and barren. Like a chapel prepared for a funeral. It kept giving them the feeling that this might really be goodbye. Even though they shouldn’t be thinking that way. They should believe she’d be fine, that they’d see her again when it was over.
While Jeremy looked around the room, Joshua stepped forward with a grown-up air and spoke first.
“Don’t worry too much, Helena. I’m sure it’ll go well.”
“…Okay.”
“It will. Because you’re a hero. Right?”
He tried to sound strong, but his voice trembled with tears. In the end, he couldn’t say much more and had to leave her side. At the same time, Jeremy rushed to Helena and hugged her tightly.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For so many things. Too many to count.”
“…”
“For saying mean things. For being stubborn. For getting angry and trying to keep you all to myself… and for hurting you.”
“…”
“I won’t be selfish anymore. I won’t hurt you again. So please… please don’t hate me.”
Helena smiled and tapped Jeremy lightly on the cheek with the back of her hand.
“I’ve never hated you. Not even once.”
“Then promise you’ll tell me that again when you wake up.”
Whispering while looking into her eyes, Jeremy kissed her on the cheek. Helena’s eyes widened—he had never done something like that before.
Once the boys left the room, the physician finally approached.
“We’ll begin.”
He explained the treatment again.
“As I said, you’ll be drinking Oratio. But we’ve added a sedative, so you’ll fall asleep. At least during the bleeding, you won’t feel any pain.”
After the explanation, Caligo handed her the bottle—poison, to be exact. Helena looked at his hand as he passed it to her, then carefully took it. She peered into the bottle’s contents.
It felt ironic. She had always compared herself to a poisonous mushroom, spitting on the thought. And yet, it might be this poisonous mushroom that could save her.
Would it save her—or drive her to death?
As she brought the bottle to her lips, she caught sight of Caligo’s stiff face watching her. He looked even more nervous than she did. She recalled how his hand trembled when he handed her the bottle.
Even when he explained the treatment. Even now. This must’ve been just as hard for him.
This might be the last time she saw his face.
And with that thought, the fear, resentment, and anger she’d held toward him faded for a moment. The fear of death, the sense of resignation—it all lifted. Her head and body felt light, like she was floating above the bed in a vacuum.
If this really were the end…
“Just in case…”
“…”
“If something goes wrong… it’s not your fault. Ever.”
She hoped she could leave it all behind. Her body, her soul. And the shackles of guilt that might weigh down his heart.
As she spoke calmly, she saw his face contort, as though he were about to fall apart. Strange—it was meant to be a reassurance, yet he looked so heartbroken. Just like he comforted her last night, she had wanted to do the same for him.
With that fleeting thought, Helena finally drank the medicine without hesitation.
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