TISND Chapter 162

Chapter 162

After Helena smiled, the children felt relieved, thinking she had opened her heart at least a little. It was her birthday. Just for that day, they forgot everything else and celebrated loudly. They forgot, even if just for a moment, that Helena was sick, and pushed aside the anxiety of having to leave Horion. They spent the whole day playing and drinking. After a hearty dinner, Helena explained in detail how to transplant plants with their roots intact.

After spending time outside, Helena brought out persimmons. They weren’t dried ones like the kind they had eaten last winter—just fresh persimmons. But they weren’t dried or fully ripe yet, and were far too astringent. Jeremy, who remembered the sweetness of dried persimmons, took a bite and immediately spat it out with a scream. Seeing that, Helena laughed again. Even though the bitterness lingered in his mouth, Jeremy was so happy to see her laugh that he deliberately twisted his face to make her laugh more.

But at midnight, after her birthday, Helena said she felt like she was catching a cold and went to her bedroom early. She slept straight through until noon the next day. Joshua, thinking this odd, went to check on her and was so startled—thinking she was dead—that he frantically tried to wake her. Though she did eventually wake up, her condition didn’t improve. She started dozing off after meals, and even a short walk to the market became too much.

Worse, the frequency of her fainting spells, which used to happen every few days, drastically increased. Now, she was passing out multiple times a day and couldn’t leave the house at all. They had to remove all potentially dangerous objects and furniture from her room—mirrors, side tables, even the wardrobe—leaving her bedroom stark and prison-like. But it was unavoidable.

Morning or night, Helena always had to be accompanied by at least one person. In the end, she grew resentful of the situation and refused to leave her bedroom altogether. She had once loved basking in the sunlight, but now all she could do was look at the scenery beyond the window. The rest of the time, she simply slept.

She had once struggled with forks and knives—now even holding a spoon was difficult. She couldn’t even clench her fist or move her fingers the way she wanted anymore.

“Is Helena… really going to die?”

Eventually, even the children began to notice how rapidly Helena’s health was declining. They could no longer ignore that the end might be near. Until then, they had tried to stay by her side, pretending things might improve, holding on to hope.

But as time passed without any solution in sight, the reality they had been avoiding began to sink in, painfully clear.

“Are we really supposed to just sit here and watch her die? She can’t even eat properly anymore. She can’t digest anything and just throws it all up.”

The saddest part was that, despite Helena being so ill, there was nothing they could do for her.

“How can someone’s body just break down so fast? It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Jeremy, do you still not understand Helena’s personality?”

Joshua spoke, clucking his tongue softly.

“She was pretending to be okay this whole time. She must’ve been hiding her symptoms since Frantor. Jane said she was already in bad shape when they arrived in Horion.”

“But why… couldn’t she rely on us, even a little?”

“Because she didn’t want to show weakness in front of us. Just like Father.”

Joshua said,

“Even when Father tore a muscle, he never showed a hint of pain in front of us. Helena’s the same!”

“I can’t believe Father’s bad habits rubbed off on Helena!”

Jeremy protested, but it didn’t last long. He soon fell silent, unable to hide his sorrow for Helena.

***

As Helena’s condition deteriorated rapidly, Jane, Caligo, and the children remained somber all day. Helena, on the other hand, was slightly different. Even while facing her own death, she remained calm. She seemed to have accepted everything.

Even after fainting and regaining consciousness, while everyone else was full of worry, she alone was unfazed. Perhaps she knew what had happened—she simply asked for a glass of water.

Amid all this, Caligo quietly stayed by her side. He no longer asked for forgiveness or pleaded like before. He just stayed there silently. Helena liked that. Not too close, not too far—a comfortable distance. Their relationship had always been like that.

Caligo also turned out to be the best caregiver for her. Unlike Jane or the children, he didn’t look at her with eyes full of worry. And during the times she slept, he would sit at the desk and quietly do his own work. Helena would sometimes listen to the sound of his quill scratching and wonder what kind of tasks he might be doing. She never imagined that the man she had once tried so hard to push away would become her most suitable caregiver.

One day, Helena tried to write a letter in reply to her lawyer, but her hands wouldn’t cooperate. Eventually, Caligo couldn’t stand it and gently took the quill from her.

“Give it to me. I’ll write it for you.”

“It’s okay.”

“If it’s something confidential that mustn’t be seen by anyone else, we could call Jane from downstairs.”

“Jane’s too busy handling all the kitchen work alone… then, please.”

A moment later, Helena began to slowly dictate the content of the letter. Since she had already taken care of the important matters beforehand, it was more of a casual, friendly letter. Caligo listened as she spoke slowly, almost like reciting poetry, and began writing on the letter paper. “I look forward to your continued support. I hope you’re having a peaceful day as well.” Just typical formalities.

Or so it should’ve been. But as he took down her words, Caligo’s hand trembled with the quill. He had written the same lines in a business letter that morning. But hearing Helena say them now, he felt that their farewell was drawing near—right to the tip of his nose.

“This will likely be the last letter I send. Please have a warm winter.”

At last, the letter was finished and handed to her. Helena carefully inspected it, as if proofreading it. Then she gave a faint, tousled smile.

“Thank you. I knew it already, but your handwriting truly is elegant. Far better than mine.”

He should’ve asked her sooner, she seemed to imply. The woman who once refused to let him near her out of fear was nowhere to be seen. Now, she joked and smiled as if nothing had ever happened. Just as Caligo hadn’t forgotten what had transpired that day, Helena surely remembered what she had said, too.

She had simply let everything go—her fear, her hatred, her resentment… all of it.

A few hours after fainting, Helena had unexpectedly said she had too many belongings, and despite already having so few clothes, she never got rid of anything. She finally cleared it all out, leaving only her worn boots and old clothes behind. Handkerchiefs embroidered with pretty flowers and colorful bonnets were given away to neighbors.

It was just like before. As if none of it could be taken with her once she died. She was tidying up all of her feelings toward him, too.

He felt as if a tortured groan might escape through his tightly clenched teeth. He thought nothing could be more painful than his body breaking into fragments—but this was.

“…Helena.”

He could say nothing else but her name. Sensing his unrest with her usual sharpness, Helena averted her gaze with a bitter smile.

“Thank you for helping me write the letter. If you give it to Jane, she’ll take care of it. Thank you. Really.”

“…”

“I’m a little tired, so I’ll take a nap now. I’ve gotten so lazy lately, haven’t I?”

Helena quickly ended the conversation and lay down. Caligo had no choice but to leave her bedroom. He didn’t know what state of mind he was in when he handed the letter to Jane, nor what kind of expression he had on his face. One thing was certain: something had burned into him—something that would never fade.

What could he do with the time that had passed, now far too late to turn back? The hand she had reached out—he hadn’t taken it. The time he had foolishly let slip away. Would he now have no choice but to lose Helena in vain?

With such devastation, Caligo couldn’t even lift his head.

“Your Excellency.”

Just then, Pedro—having checked the homing pigeon in the yard—approached him in a hurry, his face noticeably grave.

“A letter has arrived from the physicians.”

“…”

“They say they’ve found a cure.”

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