TISND Chapter 156

Chapter 156

Sitting in a chair in the yard, engrossed in a book, Helena suddenly felt a chill in the air. Oh, it might not be the wind that’s cold. She stopped reading and, with the intention of heading back inside, began looking for her cane. Where had she left it? As she scanned the area, she saw someone quietly extending the cane towards her.

“Is it alright if I help a little?”

It was Joshua. He stood there, holding the cane with a slightly tense expression, his face rigid. He couldn’t even meet her gaze, his hand trembling faintly.

“I just wanted to help, even if it’s just a little…”

Helena didn’t feel at ease pushing away Caligo and the children, either. It wasn’t easy to see the faces of the children, clouded by her actions.

Not long ago, they had smiled so brightly, and now she was the one who had twisted their faces. In the end, they hadn’t done anything wrong. She had made them cautious and hurt them for no reason.

Helena gazed at Joshua’s trembling hand for a moment, then quietly took the cane from him.

“Thank you.”

“Sure.”

As Helena accepted the cane without a word, Joshua’s expression brightened. But when she stood up from the chair without saying much, his face fell again. Normally, they would exchange at least a few words when she accepted something from him, but this time, she drew a line, which left him disappointed.

Helena was relieved that she was now taller than Joshua. If he had been taller than her, perhaps she would have noticed the sadness on his face as he watched her. She had been paying close attention to his expression without him knowing.

The distance between them had grown, and Joshua couldn’t hide his sorrow. But for Helena, there was no other way. She didn’t want to give the children false hope. She didn’t want them to carry any expectations that would only lead to disappointment and sadness.

…Rather than wait for an antidote they would never find, it was better to say goodbye here.

***

Although her heart was heavy, Helena thought she was holding up well. In just a few days, the children would leave, as promised. Perhaps the words she had said before had worked, because neither Caligo nor the children had brought up staying or asking her to get treatment anymore.
However, it was still strange for her to look at Caligo.

“If I had known this would happen, I should have bought a bigger house. Jane, I’m sorry to say this, but…”

“Why are you bringing this up all of a sudden?”
“Because I see his face so many times a day…”

Helena spoke with a gloomy expression.

“Are you talking about Duke Frantor?”

Jane quickly picked up on what she meant.

“Yes.”

Because the house was small, she often found herself facing Caligo several times a day. In fact, she knew that he often passed through the paths near her house. And each time, she saw his pale, almost lifeless face.

The once pristine man now looked worn. His face was pale and drained of color, like someone whose soul had been drained. The man who used to hold a sword at the front lines and charge forward now seemed fragile, on the verge of collapsing, his condition making her anxious.

His chin was unshaven, and his eyes looked foggy, as if lost in a daze. Every time Helena saw the wrecked face of Caligo, she found herself gasping for breath and biting her lip in distress. His eyes were swollen from crying, and she couldn’t help but feel sorrow every time she looked at him.

The man who was always so composed was now standing there in a pitiable state, and all Helena could feel was sadness.

He was the one who was more entangled in emotions than the children. From the very beginning, they had been at odds. After leaving the Frantor estate, things had become twisted between them.
Now, he wanted to apologize and seek forgiveness. But Helena didn’t want to untangle the knot. She was fine with things as they were.

“When Salizar Eskel was safely sent back to the capital…”

Whenever their eyes happened to meet, Caligo would say a few words like this.

It was the same with the other children. Unable to bring up the subject of leaving or receiving treatment, they resorted to talking about other things.

Helena had imagined such a scenario before. After successfully defeating Eskel and miraculously surviving, she had imagined resolving the long-standing issue with Caligo. She had imagined the days when she could freely embrace him without hesitation.

But now that the day had come when she could untangle their twisted connection, it wasn’t as joyful as she had imagined. Although many misunderstandings had been cleared up, and they had reached a moment of reconciliation, her head kept tilting down like a heavy weight. She found it difficult to face him, and her body instinctively tensed up.

Even though she had reconciled with him, she feared that he might be hurt again. She was now afraid of him, having realized that her feelings for him were no longer the same as before. She no longer felt comfortable around him.

“…I’m glad.”

Her dry voice seemed to make Caligo pause. It appeared that her response wasn’t what he had been hoping for. Trying to hide his emotions, he turned his gaze away and avoided eye contact with her.

Helena, on the other hand, didn’t try to continue the conversation. She thought that if she dragged it out like this, he would eventually give up and leave for the capital. After all, Caligo Frantor couldn’t stay away from the capital or Frantor for long, and he would surely know that. He probably didn’t want to waste time due to unnecessary guilt.

Helena, too, didn’t want to waste time or emotions.

After checking the time, Helena went upstairs. She knew someone was following her, but she didn’t acknowledge it. She then entered her bedroom, rummaged through the nightstand, and took out a small vial of medicine. It wasn’t the antidote from Asehimmo. Helena had realized that as the poison progressed, she would lose consciousness more frequently. The medicine she was taking now helped reduce the frequency of fainting. However, it didn’t eliminate it entirely. If she had been fainting ten times, it would reduce it to about six.

“This is the medicine. It keeps me from fainting.”

Since she didn’t want to spend her remaining days lying unconscious, Helena took this medicine regularly. Noticing that Caligo was curious about the medicine, she awkwardly responded to him while looking around.

“Where is the water?”

The medicine was so bitter that if she didn’t drink it with water, she would almost immediately feel nauseous. She remembered that Jane had changed the kettle water that morning. Helena scanned the room, looking for the kettle. Had she placed it somewhere else when she got up to drink this morning?

Realizing what she was looking for, Caligo quickly grabbed the kettle from the desk. He began pouring water into a glass that had been sitting on the nightstand. The whole thing happened so quickly that Helena couldn’t refuse and just watched him do it.

“Here.”

After pouring the water, Caligo handed the glass to her without hesitation.

“…Thank you.”

Although nothing had happened, Helena nervously fidgeted with her fingers and cautiously reached for the glass. She had thought it would be fine to take it now.

But the moment her fingers brushed against his while accepting the glass, her thoughts changed. When their fingers touched, she jerked her hand away, dropping the glass. The glass fell to the floor and shattered into pieces.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?”

Caligo, startled, reached out to her, but Helena instinctively swatted his hand away. His hand, now pulled back, trembled with mixed emotions as he looked at her.

Though only her feet were wet from the cold water, she felt as if her whole body had been soaked and her body temperature had dropped. It felt like someone was choking her.

Helena wasn’t frightened by the touch of his fingers, which were neither too cold nor too warm. No, it wasn’t that. She quickly realized the reason for her reflexive rejection.

“Actually…”

A sad smile escaped her.

“I’m scared of you.”

“…”

“When I close my eyes, I still hear what you said back then…”

No matter how hard she tried to pretend she was fine, the memories of that time kept pricking at her like a needle. Helena struggled to control the tremor in her voice.

“I’m so scared to be alone with you like this.”

Lifting her head, as heavy as if a rock had been placed on it, she saw his dazed face. Helena bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears that had risen to the tip of her nose. It felt as if someone were carving into her chest with a frost-covered blade.

Hey Guys you can read advanced chapters on Patreon
If you liked my work and want to support me then you can visit my page for tips. As I can’t create Kofi because of the unavailability of Paypal in my country, I’ve made this tier which is being updated every week so that you won’t be charged again till you want to donate again by yourself or you can exit the tier after donating 🙂.

Happy Reading 🩷