TISND Chapter 144

Chapter 144

Helena searched the mountain range all night. Even when she dropped her cane and collapsed to the ground, she kept walking. If she lost her cane, she was prepared to crawl, combing through every inch of the mountains.

The farther she got from the cave she had stayed in, the more evident Jane’s traces became instead of disappearing. It was clear how hastily she had fled—crushed leaves, deep imprints in the muddy path. Footsteps following behind hers. Scattered arrows and daggers littering the ground.

These were not weapons used by hunters. Since they lay intact on the ground, it seemed the pursuers had only just missed their prey.

“Jane!”

The more weapons Helena found, the more she forced herself to keep walking. Her feet were blistered from the long trek, and her hand gripping the cane was beginning to crack, yet she pressed on. The physical pain was nothing compared to the anguish in her heart.

She could imagine Jane, wrapped in Helena’s robe, running from armed men desperate to kill her. How terrified she must have been. She had always been a timid child. And yet, she had willingly made herself the bait to protect Helena.

How long had she been walking? Wandering aimlessly, Helena suddenly lost her balance and staggered. Without her cane, she might have fallen flat. Her foot had caught on an exposed tree root. But she wasn’t the only one to have stumbled here.

The soil bore the imprint of someone else’s fall. Instinctively, Helena brushed the dirt aside. It was damp. When she ran her fingers through it, a different texture clung to her skin. Though darkened and clotted with time, it was unmistakably blood. The scent of iron tainted the earth.

“Oh, Jane, please…”

A blood-stained handkerchief lay abandoned on the ground. Picking it up, Helena clutched it tightly and wept. Jane had always taken great care of her belongings, using the same handkerchief over and over, patching it whenever it wore thin. And yet, here it was, left behind in the cold dirt.

Perhaps fortunately, perhaps unfortunately, Jane’s traces disappeared after this. But there was still the possibility that she had been captured. Even so, Helena clung to the hope that Jane had survived and continued searching the mountains.

By nightfall, Helena stumbled upon a small hut deep in the woods. She cautiously surveyed the surroundings, but there were no signs of recent visitors. The old door creaked as it barely swung open.

She wanted to keep moving, to continue searching for Jane without rest.

But… but…

Her body simply refused to move.

Once, climbing these mountain paths had been effortless. But now, every step was agony. Her breath caught in her throat, and her entire body screamed in protest.

She shouldn’t be resting.

Jane was suffering far more than she was, wounded and on the run. Jane was the one who mattered.

What if she was already dead?

Helena had been avoiding the thought, but it circled in her mind like a vulture.

She had lost so much blood.

And if she had been caught…

Jane had blamed herself for giving away their location. But Helena thought differently.

This was her fault.

She should never have brought Jane with her in the first place.

No—she should never have let her get close at all.

Jane had a family to care for. She shouldn’t have been dragged into this.

If only she had lived a quiet life, she would never have been caught up in this mess.

And now, here Helena was, too weak to help her. Her body—her wretched, useless body—failed her at the moment she needed it most.

She should never have let Jane into her life.

She had dragged her down a road filled with thorns.

Her life had never been meant for happiness.

She had destroyed her own family with her own hands. Did she really think she could change, even at the end of her life?

She had foolishly believed she could find something like love, and in doing so, she had put Jane in danger.

“Jane… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

This was all because of her.

Just as that thought consumed her, Helena spotted a patch of deadly mushrooms growing by the mountain path. Their grotesque shapes made her let out a bitter laugh.

Even the most useful herbs could turn into poison in the wrong hands.

Perhaps, to Jane, she had always been like those poisonous mushrooms.

Yes.

She had been a poison from the very beginning.

Everyone who had ever gotten close to her had suffered.

She had tried to be a healing herb, something good and useful, but in the end, she had always been nothing more than a deadly fungus.

To Jane.
To the children.

“What could the children possibly learn from a woman like her?”

To the mother who had given birth to her.

“Your mother must have been the same way. When she found out she was pregnant, she was terrified.”

She had no right to long for kindness.

Helena Eskel, the poisonous mushroom.

A cursed existence that dragged down everyone around her. A being so wretched that even her mere presence was a threat. A life never meant to be anything more than a burden.

I was alone from the moment you were born, anyway.

And now, I’m about to die.

For Jane’s sake, I shouldn’t have done this. How much pain will she go through, being left behind alone? My suffering will disappear with the flames, but Jane’s suffering, Jeremy’s, Joshua’s, and even Caligo’s… will remain.

I shouldn’t have agreed to that contract marriage in the first place.

…But I had no choice.

When I received the terminal diagnosis, the first face that came to mind was Caligo’s.

For the first and last time, I wanted to make a decision for myself.

No, but what about Jeremy and Joshua? How much pain will they go through? Even if I spent a year with him, Caligo would never love me. At most, he’d pity me.

Tears and sweat mixed on my face, making a mess of it. My mind was just as tangled, a chaos of thoughts and emotions. Sadness, longing, resignation—I didn’t even know what I was feeling anymore.

“The door to the hut is open.”

How long had I been lost in my sorrow, shedding tears? A man’s voice reached my ears. With his movement came the faint sound of metal clinking.

Maybe because I had exhausted all my emotions, I didn’t feel fear, even as armed men surrounded the hut. Instead, laughter slipped out. More than fear, loneliness and guilt weighed down on me.

“There she is!”

The creaking of the door was followed by the sight of Salizar’s furious face. Judging by his disheveled appearance, he had been wandering through the mountains for quite some time. A sword hung at his waist.

Death was truly near.

And once again, Caligo’s face came to mind.

Why is it that, every time I stand on the brink of death, his face appears? I no longer feel the same tenderness when I think of him, yet he still comes to mind, stirring my heart once more.

My emotions were dull now, my mind occupied by someone else.

So when I looked at Salizar, my expression was not fearful, nor angry, but calm—almost serene.

“You’re here, brother.”

Foolishly, her brother must have expected her to beg and plead for her life. When she greeted him so calmly, he flared his nostrils in anger and huffed.

“Aren’t you afraid of me?”

“What’s there to be afraid of?”

She let out a chuckle, as if she had just heard an amusing joke.

“People who have lost everything have nothing left to fear.”

“……”

“That goes for you too, doesn’t it, brother?”

“You—You insolent—!”

“Congratulations, brother.”

She said, her voice steady.

“For the first time, you managed to accomplish something entirely on your own.”

When he was given my death sentence, he lived with nothing but revenge in his heart.

Salizar was no different.

In the end, he was an Eskel too.

No matter how much I denied it, I carried the blood of Eskel within me.

“Yes! I’ve come all this way to capture you. I’ll tear you to pieces and feed you to the beasts!”

Salizar growled, his face twisted with murderous rage.

“You bastard-born wretch. Then and now, you should have stayed locked away in some dark corner like the ghost of that mansion!”

I think so too, brother.

I should have lived alone.

I shouldn’t have let anyone close.

From the beginning to the end, I should have been alone.

If I could go back in time, that’s what I would do.

Caligo, Joshua, Jeremy… maybe it would have been better if I had never let them near me.

‘I’ll follow you soon, Jane.’

Accepting my death, I closed my eyes.

‘No, I hope you’re still alive.’

‘Even if I had to give you the rest of my life, I don’t want you to follow me. Not now, not even a hundred years from now.’

‘Let it be just me. Let me be the only one to go alone.’

“Rot in hell.”

Salizar spat his final curse, raising his sword high.

But just then, chaos erupted outside the hut.

A scream of agony rang out.

“What the—?!”

Salizar turned, shouting in alarm.

BOOM!

A massive explosion rocked the air as the hut’s door burst open.

The door, split in two, crashed to the floor amid a cloud of thick smoke.

“…Impossible.”

Before I could stop myself, the words slipped from my lips.

Through the swirling smoke, a pair of fierce, piercing eyes emerged.

Caligo stepped into the hut.

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