TISND Chapter 120

Chapter 120

The woman who appeared in the ballroom was Eskel, but not the usual Eskel. As everyone knew, Eskel was always a target for gossip. More than anyone, there was no one more fitting to be talked about than her, who had been kicked out of the Frantor family.

But the Helena who appeared now had shed her plain, unadorned appearance and confidently entered the banquet hall. Her impression could seem cold at first glance.

“Happy birthday to Her Majesty the Empress,” Count Eskel said, crossing the hall as if he were enjoying the attention, and bowed to the Empress. Helena, standing a step behind the Count and Salizar, also politely followed his lead.

“Your Majesty, it’s an honor to meet you,” Helena greeted.

She stood a little behind Count Eskel and Salizar, seemingly trying to avoid the gaze of others. But a closer look revealed something different. She was the center of the Eskel family now. Occasionally, the Count would smile at her, and even the arrogant Salizar would start conversations with her.

“It’s nice to see such a change in you,” the Empress said, noticing Helena and speaking to her with a friendly tone.

“Thank you for your kind words,” Helena replied.

It was her. Caligo realized instinctively. The one who had somehow revived the Eskel family and resolved their financial issues in a hurry.

The depressed figure she had shown in the mansion was gone, and especially the submissive demeanor she had shown in front of Rosalith was nowhere to be seen now.

“I think that’s her, the Countess.”

It wasn’t just Caligo who had noticed Helena as the new focal point of the family. Even other nobles from the Emperor’s faction were caught off guard by her transformation. Count Lifebon, one of the Emperor’s supporters, approached and whispered, his face tense.

Now, the Eskel family had clearly become a public enemy. Having revived their collapsing estate, they would be under close scrutiny from now on.

But for some reason, Caligo felt a chill in his heart. Even though he knew she was now a threat, the fact that she didn’t even spare him a glance disturbed him more than it should have.

“Now that I think about it, after the Duchess left, the Count’s family has been getting back on its feet.”

It was Caligo who had been unable to sleep, as though he were trapped in a mirage after she left. But she seemed to have forgotten the past. Caligo recalled the hollow expression in her eyes when she left the mansion, as though she had given up everything.

“Do you think she might have gotten some information from the Duke’s family? If that’s the case, it could be dangerous.”

“We’ll talk about that later.”

“Shouldn’t we come up with a plan right now?”

“Enough. Later.”

Caligo spoke, his tone final.

“…Later.”

He understood how contradictory his situation was. After all, it was Caligo himself who had asked for a contractual marriage with her, a woman who had become a center of attention and was now a significant player in the family’s revival.

But he wanted her, and he was angry at himself for it. He couldn’t accept it. How could he desire the daughter of the man who had killed his brother?

Moreover, how could he allow that woman to become the mother of his children? It was something that should never happen. So, he had tried to distance himself from her. But the presence of another man around her made him angry. In a moment of impulse, he…

Ultimately, he had pushed her away. And he had been satisfied with that. It was the right thing to do, wasn’t it?

But why was he so angry that she didn’t even look at him now?

Whenever he thought he had moved on from her, her image would appear in his mind, lingering like a shadow. In the mansion. In the open fields. In the rustling grass. He thought he had erased it, but it still haunted him.

However, whenever he tried to reach for her, she was always just out of his grasp.

She had always been someone who kept her distance from him.

He had always acted impulsively. Especially with her. He had been angry, locked her away, and even driven her out. Childish actions. So, this time, there could be no more of it. He had to calm his emotions. He couldn’t go back to the past. Acting on emotion would only lead to loss, not gain. He had children to protect.

He couldn’t accept it. Not her.

The body of his brother, slowly growing cold in blood. The loyal servants who had sacrificed themselves to save him. His brother’s final words about the twins. The villagers who still believed in him. He had to protect them all. For them, he had to stay strong…

“But, Your Grace—”

“I said enough!”

For a brief moment, Caligo raised his voice.

“…Didn’t I? Enough. We’ll discuss this later.”

He quickly suppressed his outburst, but he couldn’t hide the stiffness in his expression. He clenched his fist. This wasn’t right. He had to endure. He forced himself to suppress the emotions threatening to escape. His desires, his anger, his emotions—none of them could be his anymore.

—

“You’ve done well. Everyone is looking at you.”

Count Eskel, pleased by the attention Helena was receiving, praised her without hesitation before leaving.

But Helena had not dressed up for the Count.

It was for the children.

She couldn’t bear to appear before them looking sickly and weak.

I’m sorry. I tried to do something, but it wasn’t easy.

She still remembered Joshua, crying uncontrollably as he apologized during their last farewell. That was why she didn’t want to show them a miserable version of herself.

Joshua blamed himself for everything. If she went to him looking unwell, he might be consumed by even more guilt.

“Madam, this dress is really heavy,” Jane murmured.

The Countess’s gift had been put to good use. The precious accessories went to Helena, while Jane wore the expensive dress tailored from fine fabric. But since there weren’t many dresses in Helena’s size, she had no choice but to wear a velvet dress despite the warm weather.

Because she was so lavishly dressed, few people noticed that something was wrong with her health. Instead, people focused on the notion that Eskel even dressed his servants extravagantly.

“It suits you,” Helena said.

“I should buy you some nice dresses too.”

“You don’t have to, Madam.”

“I will. Because they really do look good on you.”

“…Thank you, Madam.”

Jane blushed slightly and murmured,

“You look beautiful too, Madam.”

“Thank you.”

Helena had never been comfortable with too many eyes on her. She didn’t enjoy attention.

“Everyone’s looking at you, Madam.”

“I know.”

“Aren’t you scared?”

“…Not really.”

Surprisingly, it didn’t seem like a big deal.

“It just makes me think about a lot of things.”

Helena mumbled as she looked at Rosalith.

There was a time when she had envied Rosalith. She was adored by everyone and had monopolized their father’s love. Back then, receiving love had felt like the most important thing in life.

But now, her perspective had changed.

You’re not so different from me, are you?

Rosalith, who had once been so confident, now looked at Helena and Salizar with uneasy eyes.

Had Helena looked the same back then? Desperately craving affection, constantly comparing the love she received from her father with others’?

A father who only valued his children based on their usefulness.

You’re useful. You’re not.

His love, changing unpredictably like the wind, forced them to be endlessly cautious, always struggling to prove themselves.

Looking back, it all seemed so meaningless.

“Hmph.”

Rosalith, realizing Helena had been staring at her for a while, snorted and turned away with a sharp movement.

“If I find that kind of rude behavior endearing, I guess I’ve changed too.”

—

“Um, Madam. Do we need to greet His Grace separately?”

Jane asked cautiously.

“Maybe we should take this opportunity to tell him about Forget-Me-Not.”

“…Tell him?”

“Yes.” Jane nodded.

“We could tell him that we’ve been working all this time to help him. Now that you have the Count’s trust, we can provide even more important information.”

Jane spoke excitedly.

“If we do that, won’t people eventually learn of your efforts? Maybe it could even help in your favor someday, Madam.”

“Help in my favor?”

Helena chuckled softly.

“What does it matter if someone like me is given leniency?”

“…Madam.”

“I should remain as nothing more than Eskel’s insane woman.”

She murmured.

“If my identity as Forget-Me-Not is revealed, my father will use it as an excuse to find a way out. I don’t want to give His Grace even the smallest reason to hesitate.”

Helena said firmly.

“You know, Jane… When everything is over, I just want to finish my life quietly, on my own.”

“….”

“Somewhere no one knows me. Alone. Just like that.”

She let her gaze drift toward Caligo in the distance.

But only for a fleeting moment.

Helena turned away from him, as if refusing to acknowledge him at all.

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