Chapter 116
*
At some point, Caligo realized that he was searching for the memory and traces of the woman who had already left.
What was the point of searching for the traces of a woman he had let go? It was already over.
It was a pointless thought. There were too many things he should be focusing on, things that required his attention, without thinking about that woman.
That day, Caligo was having a conversation, as usual, with the crown prince and discussing various factions in the imperial court.
The emperor, the noble faction, and the noble faction aligned with the emperor…
To elaborate, it was a conversation about the incompetent emperor, the nobles who only sought their own personal gains, and the movements of other unseen forces.
“Du——ke.”
In the middle of their conversation, Raul suddenly called out to him.
“Yes?”
“Why have you become so sensitive lately?”
“What do you mean?”
“You, your tone of voice has become sharp, and you seem really on edge.”
“It’s just your imagination.”
“No, I’m telling you, I see it. You’re just like you used to be! When things didn’t go your way, you used to glare at people as though you were going to eat them alive! If you keep this up, you’re going to hurt someone! Let your eyes relax!”
“Your Highness, please lower your voice.”
“Look at that! Just like in the past!” Raul pointed at him dramatically.
Caligo frowned at the finger in front of his face. “Please remove your finger.”
At his sharp words, Raul became even more animated, as if his point had been proven.
“I’m just being a bit rough because of the topic at hand. I’ll correct it.”
“No! I’m telling you, you’ve been more sensitive lately!”
“No, I haven’t.”
“You see! You’re just like before! Those eyes you had when you were about to snap! Just like when you were ready to kill anyone who crossed you! I bet you’re thinking of hurting someone right now! Relax!”
“Your Highness, please lower your voice.”
“Ah, I can see it! Those eyes are making me nervous!” Raul clicked his tongue and grumbled.
Whether it was because of lack of sleep or not, there were times when Caligo’s emotions slipped out uncontrollably. Normally, he could hide his expressions well, but at times, his sharp words came out before he even finished thinking.
This wasn’t the way it should be. It was childish. His impulsive and fiery past that he had wanted to overcome so badly—his immature, greedy nature, and the way his actions often rushed ahead of his thoughts.
It was time to stop thinking about that woman.
“So, any news on the forget-me-not? That anonymous sender you’ve been trying so hard to find?” Raul asked.
Right, the forget-me-not was the perfect topic to help him forget about her.
“Nothing yet.”
“That’s strange. If anyone could find out, it would be you. Do you have any suspects?”
“I suspect it might be someone close to Count Eskel. Recently, I heard the first news from them about getting involved in maritime trade. A letter arrived saying they’re in urgent need of money.”
“Maritime trade? A cowardly count like him would never dare venture into such a field.”
“That’s what’s odd about it.”
Raul asked, “Who do you think might have told the count about the money-making opportunity?”
“I don’t know either.”
“Salizar? Laviel? Hmm, no, they’re just greedy. They don’t have the count’s talents.”
It was well-known that Count Eskel lamented that none of his children inherited his abilities. It was even rumored that he had many children in order to have one who could inherit his knack for sniffing out money.
“Could it be that he has a sharp-eyed subordinate now?”
“That’s something we won’t know unless we check in person.”
“He might attend the next Empress’s birthday celebration. If anyone can get the rotten tooth out of the count’s mouth, he’ll surely bring them along to brag.”
Raul spoke casually.
“Maybe that woman will come too.”
“Who?”
“Helena.”
The crown prince casually mentioned the name with a playful tone. The childish crown prince watched with amusement as his friend’s face shifted constantly at the mention of the name.
“Since it’s the Empress’s birthday, it’s natural for her to attend, right? Aren’t you excited? If you meet her again, at least greet her, okay?”
Once again, Raul exaggerated his gestures to provoke his friend. But Caligo was no longer paying attention. No matter how much Raul babbled, he couldn’t focus.
*
When I left Caligo and the children and returned to Eskel, it was much harder than I expected.
I had anticipated it to some extent, but I didn’t know it would be this difficult.
At one point, Jane even brought up the idea of returning to the Frantor Mansion.
I had nightmares every night, and loneliness was so sharp it felt like it was cutting into my soul.
But,
Now, I was okay.
Helena had adapted to her current life.
A daily routine. Though calling it a routine felt odd, considering it involved bringing down her own family. But still, that’s what it was.
At first, it had been difficult, but now, things had gotten much better.
By thinking of this as the final stretch and focusing only on what lay ahead, it actually became easier to clear her mind.
‘There isn’t much time left anyway.’
‘I don’t want to have regrets, not even until the moment I die.’
‘Struggling won’t change my life.’
‘So, let’s not hold on to anything.’
And so, she pushed through the initial hardships and lived with her eyes fixed forward.
She had always had a surprisingly simple side to her.
When she let go of her feelings for Aiden, she did so cleanly.
Conflicts arising from differences in personality or values could be managed through compromise.
But the life they had each lived—that was something she could never change.
She couldn’t replace the Eskel blood that ran beneath her skin.
Since she had known from the start that it would never work, it was easier to move on.
This time was no different.
Thinking that Caligo was never hers to begin with made things easier.
There was no lingering attachment.
‘From now on, I will live only looking forward. Just looking ahead.’
“Madam, things are going to get much easier from now on.”
Jane had noticed Helena’s change. Compared to before, she seemed much more stable and at peace. Feeling cheerful, Jane chattered away.
“Now that you’ve gained the Count’s trust, everything will start falling into place step by step.”
“Not yet.”
“What?”
“There still aren’t many people who trust me.”
“But you have the Count.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m his right hand yet.”
For now, she was simply someone useful. She hadn’t fully secured her place.
At the very least, she needed to become close enough for her father to naturally reveal the secrets he was so desperate to keep hidden.
Considering the information she had gathered so far and the things she’d heard from Bahen, the role of an internal informant was more important now than ever.
Even Caligo was in a situation where he couldn’t move freely.
If the Emperor’s faction wasn’t even able to fully support Caligo, then there was a chance her father had already formed alliances with certain members of that faction.
Her father was cautious and highly wary. On top of that, the Countess was keeping a close eye on her.
“Would you like some tea?”
“No need.”
The Countess treated her as coldly as before but never left her unsupervised.
Especially when Helena was with Count Eskel, the Countess remained even more watchful.
If it were up to her, she probably would have preferred that Helena had simply died alone of illness in Frantor.
But now, seeing Helena return to the Eskel estate so quickly and earning the Count’s trust—she must have been feeling desperate.
‘It seems Father doesn’t know that the Countess tried to poison me.’
Helena wondered what kind of reaction he would have if he ever found out.
The Countess would continue to monitor her.
If she ever discovered Helena’s true goal—or the fact that she was secretly sending letters to Frantor—it would be a disaster.
She might even end up interfering with Caligo’s plans.
‘I can’t let that happen.’
For now, she needed to keep both Count Eskel and the Countess occupied.
That would make it easier for her to move in secret.
‘It’s still not enough.’
Helena took a small sip of tea, her eyes cold and unwavering.
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