TISND Chapter 103

Chapter 103

Caligo heard the news in the middle of his training session with the Crown Prince.

After finishing his duties, the Crown Prince had called him over, suggesting they have a sword duel for the first time in a while. To an outsider, it would have seemed like an intense and rough training session. Raul, having honed his swordsmanship for years, was skilled enough to surpass most knights.

Perhaps it was because they had crossed swords since childhood. Each time their blades clashed, and sweat poured from their bodies, the tangled thoughts clouding Caligo’s mind seemed to dissipate bit by bit. At least for now, he wanted to focus solely on his sword. To forget everything.

“Yes, forget it all.”

If he didn’t concentrate on something, her face would keep resurfacing in his mind.

“I also wish Your Grace would forget everything.”

Forget? Was it that easy for her to forget? To Caligo, her words sounded as if she was saying she wanted to forget. As if she wished to erase everything they had shared—from Frantor until now.

“Ugh.”

Before he knew it, he had put too much strength into his blade, forcing Raul into a precarious parry. Only then did Caligo stop their fierce duel. Raul, panting heavily, gulped down water while glancing up at him with a look of disbelief. Not a single drop of sweat had fallen from Caligo’s face—he stood there like a stone statue.

It stung Raul’s pride. He knew too well that Caligo had stopped the match purely for his sake.

Of course, Raul already knew his old friend was the kind of man who wouldn’t bleed even if stabbed. But he hadn’t expected him not to sweat either.

Then, as Caligo rummaged through his pocket, his expression twisted slightly. It was rare for him to show any emotion at all.

Curious, Raul approached and saw what had caught his attention—a broken watch.

“Oh, that’s unfortunate. Wasn’t that a keepsake you cherished?”

He was all too familiar with his friend’s peculiar tastes. He could never tell whether it was thriftiness or stubbornness. It had always puzzled him how Caligo held on to such an old, worn-out watch. Even when given rare, imported timepieces as gifts, he never spared them a glance.

“Did I accidentally strike it during our duel?”

Assuming he was responsible for the damage, Raul scratched his head awkwardly.

“I can take care of the repairs for you. I’ll find a renowned craftsman to fix it.”

“It’s fine.”

“But the crack makes it hard to see the second hand properly. You’re really going to keep using it like that?”

The Crown Prince clicked his tongue.

“It won’t be long before it stops working altogether.”

“I’ll handle it myself.”

With that, Caligo bowed formally.

Even though they were alone, he still clung to formalities. The Crown Prince had told him time and again to drop the rigid manners, but Caligo never listened. It was admirable in a subordinate but frustrating as a friend.

As Raul watched his friend’s retreating back with a conflicted expression, a sudden commotion broke out.

“Your Grace!”

One of Caligo’s subordinates came running toward him.

As soon as he heard the news, his face darkened, and without hesitation, he sprinted off.

“Hey! What happened?” Raul called after him.

But Caligo was already gone.

—

“Duchess, she had fallen down the stairs.”

At that moment, the image of her lifeless face from earlier in the Imperial Palace flashed through his mind. Seeing her in such a state had filled him with guilt.

Yet, another emotion stirred within him.

‘Why? Why do you act like you’ve lost everything?’

‘You were born an Eskel. You must have lived without lacking anything. Even in Frantor, you had everything you needed. Are you really acting as if your entire world collapsed just because you lost a mere physician?’

Looking back, the thought of it was almost absurd.

What happened to that woman was none of Caligo’s concern.

In a way, it might have even been for the best.

Even if their marriage had been a mere transaction, she was still an Eskel. Even if they divorced, she could always find a way to cling to him, just like Melissa York had. Like a lingering ghost, she might hover around him, becoming a nuisance.

One less person to deal with should have been a relief. He should have been pleased.

But her pale, lifeless face didn’t bring him the slightest satisfaction.

Instead, he felt exhausted. And angry—angry at her.

But despite it all, he never wished for her death.

Watching her wither away beside him, like dry hay losing its color, was something he simply couldn’t endure.

The moment he heard that she had fallen down the stairs, he abandoned all remaining work and ran like a madman.

It felt surreal—like his own body was moving ahead of his thoughts.

‘Is she still alive?’

‘What if she never opens her eyes again?’

A wave of worst-case scenarios crashed over him, drowning out all other thoughts.

—

After falling down the stairs, Helena didn’t immediately grasp what had happened to her.

‘What just happened?’

‘Ah. I fell down the stairs.’

‘Am I dead?’

The idea that she might be dead brought an unexpected sense of relief.

Thinking that she was better off dead felt… peaceful.

But the world around her was far too noisy for her to be truly dead.

She could feel someone touching her, a hand brushing over her forehead again and again. She could hear sighs, and even faint sounds of sobbing.

She had hoped that, when she died, no one would be there beside her.

“Madam, can you hear me?”

“Madam!”

She barely managed to open her heavy eyelids.

The first things she saw were Emma and Jane, their faces streaked with tears. Behind them stood a man she had never seen before.

‘Who…?’

Her head throbbed. The nausea was overwhelming, and their voices rang in her ears like distant echoes.

‘I’m alive. Still.’

Realizing this, she felt no joy—only an overwhelming sense of emptiness.

‘I survived. And yet…’

Hadn’t she vowed to make these past months meaningful? To live with purpose?

And yet, seeing herself still clinging to life filled her with an inexplicable sense of despair.

“Hold on, the Duke will be here soon.”

Caligo must have heard the news by now.

What kind of expression would he make when he saw her awake?

Would he be disappointed?

Perhaps more than anyone, he had wanted her dead.

When he returned to the estate, maybe he had been waiting—not to hear that she had regained consciousness, but that she had died.

“Madam, can you hear me?”

“This won’t do, Jane! Bring some water, quickly!”

“Yes!”

She could hear the servants bustling around her. Emma’s worried voice reached her ears.

“Madam! Do you remember what happened? You fell down the stairs! They said you have no major injuries aside from bruises, but is there anywhere that hurts?”

Her eyes were open, yet she remained silent.

Emma’s frustration grew as Helena simply stared ahead, vacant and unmoving.

Then, the man standing hesitantly behind them stepped forward.

‘Ah… he must be the doctor.’

Emma had mentioned bringing in a new one.

For some reason, the man kept glancing at her nervously, his unease palpable.

Perhaps he had noticed something about her condition.

Because this body wasn’t merely injured from falling down the stairs.

Emma, oblivious, continued fussing over her. But the doctor—perceptive as he was—seemed hesitant to speak.

‘A sharp one, isn’t he?’

If she had just died, he wouldn’t have to struggle with this dilemma.

Thinking that way, she felt an overwhelming wave of sorrow for herself.

She had survived.

Yet all she could do was feel hollow, unable to even be relieved.

How had she ended up like this?

“Madam!”

“Hic.”

And then—though she had remained silent, though she had barely reacted—Helena suddenly burst into tears.

Emma was so shocked she nearly dropped the handkerchief she had been holding.

She had never seen her cry before.

Shy but deeply affectionate, Helena was the type to feel things deeply—and to be wounded just as easily.

Yet she had never shed a single tear.

Even when she was followed.

Even when rumors spread about her.

She had smiled through it all, insisting she was fine.

But now, she was sobbing like a child.

Once the tears started, they wouldn’t stop.

“Madam…”

Even without words, Emma felt the weight of her sorrow.

How much had she been enduring all this time?

Tears welled up in Emma’s own eyes as she glanced at the doctor. Understanding, he quietly left with her, giving Helena the space to grieve.

And so she cried.

For a long, long time.

By the time she finally lifted her head, Caligo was standing in the room.

She didn’t know when he had arrived.

His expression was dark.

Perhaps he really had wished for her death.

She was so tired.

So exhausted from merely existing beside him.

Even looking at his face drained her.

He must have wanted her gone just as much as she wanted to leave.

There was no reason for them to stay together any longer.

“…Caligo.”

He didn’t reply.

But she knew he had heard her.

His once motionless gaze slowly turned toward her.

“I want to leave.”

And just like the tears that had burst forth, Helena’s voice—trembling and full of grief—spilled out as well.

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