Chapter 102
The emperor enjoyed making all sorts of demands of heroes who had just returned to the capital.
They weren’t particularly difficult orders.
Just unpleasant ones.
Most of the time, it was an order to bring one of his mistresses to the palace or attend one of his lavish banquets—tasks more suited for a servant than a duke.
It was a childish game.
Like breaking in a hunting dog, dragging it around at will, forcing it into obedience.
Or perhaps it was an attempt to drag a capable young man down into the same depths where the emperor wallowed.
After all, there was no easier way to corrupt a man than through wealth and debauchery.
And so, upon returning to the capital, Caligo was now fulfilling one such command—escorting the emperor’s mistress to the palace.
“There are so many new statues since I last came! His Majesty must have quite the artistic taste!”
“…….”
The emperor had countless lovers.
He often went out drinking, seeking out beautiful women from struggling families, bringing them into the palace, adorning them with extravagant finery.
Every single one of his mistresses received lavish gifts and jewelry.
The woman Caligo was escorting now was just another among them.
At first, she had gawked at the palace in wide-eyed amazement, unable to even speak to him.
But now, she had grown bolder.
“Why won’t you answer me? Did I do something to upset you? If so, I’m sorry.”
She pouted, sulking when she received no reaction, no response, not even a glance.
Eventually, she gave up and fell silent.
The emperor’s banquets were grandiose displays of wealth and excess.
“Duke Prantor, if you don’t mind, why don’t you join us?”
Caligo understood the emperor’s intentions all too well.
But he neither resented nor pitied himself for it.
He simply accepted it.
“I appreciate the invitation, but I must decline. His Highness the Crown Prince has entrusted me with urgent matters.”
“How dull.”
The emperor clicked his tongue.
“I despise men like you. The ones who act so noble, as if they’re some righteous savior.”
Caligo had no desire to cross the line.
He refused to live in a way that would bring shame to himself or his family.
“Tch. No reaction at all.”
The emperor scoffed, irritated by his unwavering composure.
That damn man—always so formal, always so proper—somehow, it made him seem all the more arrogant.
As if he were merely tolerating the emperor’s whims.
And so, Caligo continued carrying out the emperor’s commands, escorting women to the palace.
He shut his eyes and ears to it all.
He erased any thought of the emperor from his heart.
All that mattered was his loyalty to the Crown Prince.
And then—
That was when he met Helena.
“Helena.”
That was when she saw him with another woman.
A sharp pain pierced his chest, as if he had been pricked by thorns.
Though he had done nothing wrong, he felt uncomfortable.
He hated that Helena had to see him with another woman.
He despised that she had to witness him being toyed with by the emperor’s childish games.
So he lashed out at her once more.
Told her to leave.
To stop looking at this weak, pathetic side of him.
No.
He wanted her to get angry.
He wanted her to say something, anything.
He wanted her to ask who the woman was.
“You’re right. This isn’t something I should be involved in.”
But Helena showed no reaction.
Ever since Aiden had left, she had been slowly crumbling.
As if something inside her was breaking apart.
So that’s how it is.
It doesn’t matter to you what I do.
It doesn’t matter who I see, where I go.
“I apologize for the discourtesy, Your Grace.”
She spoke as if she had no attachment to him at all.
That infuriated him.
It was obvious now—she truly felt nothing for him anymore.
Was it because of that doctor?
A bitter laugh escaped him.
Here he was, burning inside with frustration, resentment, and helplessness, while she remained cold and indifferent.
“Then, I’ll be taking my leave.”
She turned away.
Fine. Leave. You were always going to leave anyway.
Then, she stopped in her tracks.
“But there’s something you should know, Eskel.”
“…….”
“You will carry the weight of all your misfortunes and sins for the rest of your life.”
“…….”
“I will forget you. I will never remember you again.”
Would he finally be free from this hell once she was gone?
He wanted to forget her.
He wanted to wipe her from his memory.
Just like he had said.
“Yes. Forget me.”
“…….”
“I hope Your Grace forgets everything as well.”
Her quiet response shattered him.
Every word felt like it was breaking him apart, piece by piece.
Like his heart was being torn to shreds.
Because he knew.
No matter how much resentment or hatred he held toward her—
He would never be able to forget her.
“Have you said everything you needed to say?”
Ha.
Her expression remained unchanged.
Come to think of it, he had never really seen her express much emotion.
She never truly smiled.
She never truly grieved.
Was it because he meant nothing to her?
Fine.
She had always been like this.
A woman who seemed to have killed off all her emotions.
Someone who gave a glimpse of warmth, only to disappear the moment he reached for her.
“If you have nothing more to say, then I will take my leave.”
Helena bowed once more before turning and leaving the palace.
She wasn’t even sure how she had managed to climb into the carriage.
Leaning her pale face against the window, she stared out in silence.
She hadn’t meant it when she told him to forget.
In truth, she had wanted him to remember. That was why, without realizing it, she had always enclosed ‘forget-me-nots’ with the letters she sent to him.
But Caligo—he wanted to forget.
He wanted her gone as soon as possible.
She had wanted to love him until the very end.
Even if he wasn’t by her side when she died, she had hoped she could at least disappear with her heart still fluttering for him.
But now…
“That was foolish of me.”
At this moment, she wished she could shatter her own heart.
The pain in her chest was unbearable, making it difficult to even breathe.
Staying by Caligo’s side had become too painful.
At first, she had tried to endure.
But now, the longer she stayed, the more she realized—she wasn’t in love anymore. She was only getting hurt.
He wouldn’t remember her anyway.
Even if it hadn’t been her, any other woman would have ended up the same way.
She was nothing more than an accessory to him.
Had he ever even seen her as a woman?
—
“Madam, you’ve arrived?”
Emma greeted her as she stepped out of the carriage.
“Madam, there’s something I need to tell you. I know you said you didn’t need a personal physician, but… just in case, I brought one. He’s quite skilled, so you should meet him—”
“Emma.”
“Yes, Madam?”
“Later.”
She forced a small, fragile smile.
“I’m too tired right now.”
Emma hesitated before nodding. As they walked toward the bedroom, she reached out a hand.
“Let me help you.”
But before they could move further, a familiar figure appeared.
Joshua.
It had been so long since she had last seen him.
Before, she would have been happy just to see his face.
If he had come all the way to the carriage for her, she would have ruffled his hair in gratitude.
But now—
Now, her heart ached at the thought that she would see him even less unless he made the time.
“…Thank you, Joshua.”
Her voice lacked strength.
Joshua lowered his gaze.
He had tried. He had tried reasoning with Jeremy, had tried to smooth things over.
The servants’ gossip—those he could handle.
But this…
This, he could not fix.
Even he could see it.
Helena’s eyes no longer sought Caligo.
Joshua swallowed his sorrow and silently walked with Helena toward the mansion.
Every time he saw her gaunt face, it felt like he might burst into tears.
Halfway up the central staircase, he suddenly stopped.
Then, cautiously, he spoke.
“Helena.”
“Hm?”
“…Don’t give up.”
“On what?”
“On loving my father.”
He wished things could go back to the way they used to be.
Warm meals shared together.
Moments filled with quiet, comfortable happiness.
But every time he saw the deep resignation in Helena’s eyes, it crushed him.
Once, he had accepted her love because it had made Caligo happy.
But now—
Now, he wanted her to stay for their happiness, too.
“…Please, don’t give up. Promise me?”
“…….”
Helena stared at him, stunned.
She had never expected to hear those words from him.
He had always known about her feelings for Caligo, but she had assumed he would never acknowledge them—never encourage them.
She never thought he would hold on to her.
But—
She couldn’t answer him.
Her lips parted slightly, but no words came out.
‘I’m sorry, Joshua.’
‘I can’t love him like I used to.’
‘I can’t stay by his side anymore.’
And then—
Her vision blurred.
Like spilled ink, the world around her wavered and distorted.
“Helena!”
Her body lost all strength.
In an instant, her balance tipped.
Through her hazy sight, she saw Joshua’s panic-stricken face as he reached out—
But before he could catch her, she collapsed, tumbling down the stairs.
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