~Chapter 06~
The House of Kailas is a family worthy of respect, having led the Kifren War to victory.
When no one else stepped forward because there was nothing to gain, the House of Kailas led their troops solely out of loyalty to the imperial family. If it hadn’t been for them, who knows how far the Kifren War would have spread into the empire’s mainland? The losses they endured to achieve victory were also enormous. The Saint Clarissa Monastery, which had sent medical personnel to the front lines, knew this very well.
“My goodness…! What a shameful act!”
“Even the Viscount Listerwell family asked for strict guidance so that Lady Harriet could repent,” Agnes said, recalling the letter that had a very different tone from other requests for young ladies to enter the monastery.
“It seems we need to brace ourselves. A lady as willful as her won’t calmly endure monastery life.”
Impersonating someone else, stealing a brooch at the celebration of the Duke of Kailas’s victory, being nearly given up on by her family, and coming here for an unusually long period of reflection—just from these clues, Catherine and Agnes could already picture the struggles that lay ahead. They both closed their eyes tightly at the same time.
“We’ve treated the young ladies who have come to the monastery with special care up until now, but we’ll have to deal firmly with Lady Harriet.”
“Should we make her live the same way as the monks since she’ll be staying for a long time?”
“That would be best. Especially since the Listerwell family specifically requested it.”
“What if she complains about being treated differently from the other ladies?”
Catherine’s brow furrowed slightly.
“Tell her to take her complaints to the family that sent her here. And if she doesn’t follow the monastery’s rules, tell her we won’t be able to provide meals.”
“Really? But what if she collapses from hunger…?”
“Sigh… We’ll deal with that when the time comes.”
No matter how they looked at it, tough days seemed to be ahead.
With a clattering sound, the carriage came to a complete stop.
“Miss, we’ve arrived!”
Harriet took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Sitting in the jostling carriage had been uncomfortable enough, but she was sure the days ahead would be even more difficult.
“I never imagined I’d be living in a monastery.”
A sense of dread toward the unknown world seemed to tighten around her throat. But she couldn’t afford to hesitate any longer. Shaking off her hesitation, Harriet smoothed her wrinkled skirt, picked up her luggage, and stepped out of the carriage.
“Oh, I could have taken your bags down for you!”
“It’s fine. They’re not heavy enough to need anyone’s help, and from here on out, I have to do things by myself.”
“Even so…”
“Really, it’s okay. I’ll be going inside now, so you should head back. If you want to grab lunch nearby, you’d better hurry.”
Though she’d eaten a light snack in the carriage, the coachman, who had been driving without having breakfast, must have been hungry by now. Harriet bid him farewell, turning toward the monastery.
The monastery building had high walls, few windows, and a pointed roof. The gray stone structure was covered in patches of black moss, giving it an old, shabby appearance. The only thing indicating it was a monastery was a stone plaque above the entrance.
“Elrowan’s 128th Holy Shrine, Saint Clarissa Monastery.”
“I thought a famous monastery would be big and grand…”
She found it hard to breathe just looking at its exterior, which seemed more fitting for a royal prison. Surrounded by olive groves and rocky hills, it wasn’t particularly scenic either.
Sighing deeply, Harriet knocked on the door with the knocker attached to the entrance. After a brief wait, a small window on the door swung open, and someone inside peered out at her.
“Are you the young lady from the House of Listerwell?”
“Yes. I’m Harriet Listerwell.”
“We’ve been expecting you. Please come in.”
The door opened, revealing a dark hallway despite it being broad daylight. The shadowy corridor, along with the sharp-faced monk who had let her in despite his young appearance, only added to Harriet’s anxiety. But she had no other options.
Following the monk, Harriet glanced around at the bare monastery interior. Normally, a guide might explain things to a visitor, but the monk said nothing at all.
Finally, they arrived in front of a room. The monk suddenly turned and gave Harriet a warning.
“You are about to meet the abbess. Stand properly and be mindful of your behavior. Do not raise your voice or show any disrespect.”
“…Alright.”
The monk frowned slightly, seemingly displeased with Harriet’s delayed response, and knocked on the door of the abbess’s room. His expression softened into a gentle one, quite unlike the face he’d shown Harriet moments earlier.
“Mother Superior, I have brought Lady Harriet Listerwell.”
“Come in.”
The door opened.
Inside the room, an older nun sat at a desk reading some papers, while a younger nun stood beside her. The younger nun looked somewhat kind, but the other woman, who was undoubtedly the abbess, had black hair, silver-rimmed glasses, a thin frame, and a stiff posture, making her seem quite stern.
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Harriet Listerwell. I’ll be staying here for a year.”
“You must have had a hard time getting here. I am Catherine Emilosa, the abbess of Saint Clarissa Monastery. This is Sister Agnes Valeri, the deputy abbess.”
Harriet smiled awkwardly as she greeted them, but the mood did not lighten. Catherine quickly moved on to explain life at the monastery.
“Life here will not be as comfortable or plentiful as in the capital. Since you’ve come here to reflect, I assume you’re prepared for that.”
Harriet swallowed nervously. She had imagined many scenarios about what life at the monastery would be like, but it seemed her worst fears were coming true.
Ignoring Harriet’s obvious anxiety, Catherine continued.
“The monks here eat simple meals, wear only monk’s robes all year round, and use goods made from the gifts God provides—like the olives and herbs we harvest. You, too, will live the same way as the monks.”
“Oh…”
“I understand that, as a noblewoman, physical labor may be unfamiliar to you. However, through this, you’ll be able to reflect on the luxury and indulgence of your past.”
Harriet had never truly experienced such luxury or indulgence, but all she could do was nod in agreement.
“Emma, who brought you here, will explain the details. Emma, I’ll leave her in your care.”
“Yes, Mother Superior.”
Emma bowed obediently, then shot a sharp look at Harriet.
“I’ll show you to your room.”
“Yes, then…”
As Harriet was about to turn to leave, Catherine added one final remark.
“Oh, and from tomorrow, we will address you as ‘Sister.’ Think of yourself as a true monk and live a life of reflection before God.”
The word “reflection” kept repeating, stirring up feelings of frustration. Harriet wasn’t the one who should be reflecting.
“Why am I being treated like a criminal? I didn’t do anything wrong, so why am I…?”
She pressed her trembling lips together, but she couldn’t stop the tears from welling up. Harriet quickly wiped away the tears that had slipped down her cheeks with the back of her hand, lowering her head.
“I… understand.”
She couldn’t say anything more. If she opened her mouth, more tears would fall, and crying here would only make her look worse.
Sure enough, Emma sighed, clearly intending for Harriet to hear.
“Follow me.”
Without meeting the gaze of Catherine or Agnes, Harriet turned and followed Emma. It was clear that there was no warmth in the way they looked at her—just like it had always been.
“Oh, look! She’s crying! Does she think someone’s going to feel sorry for her?”
“Even Bella, who was troubled because of her, is handling this so well, and yet she has no shame.”
The voices that had once criticized her echoed vividly in Harriet’s ears.
But her sadness quickly turned to shock when she reached the room assigned to her.
“How can anyone live in a room this small?”
The room was so tiny, it only had space for a single bed, a small dresser that seemed to double as a wardrobe, a small table, and a simple wooden chair. The floor was bare stone, with no carpet to cover it. This was to be Harriet’s room from now on.
As she stood there, mouth agape, looking around the room, Emma spoke in a dry tone.
“I’ll bring you your monk’s robe and meal shortly. But starting from dinner, you will need to come down to the dining hall at the scheduled times. Meal times are at 7 a.m., noon, and 6 p.m., with a light snack at 3 p.m.”
Harriet snapped out of her daze at those words. Eating and surviving were important matters, after all.
“Where is the dining hall?”
