The next morning, as I headed to the dining room for breakfast, I found that Ains had already arrived and was eating. I considered turning back to my room, but given that we were on the verge of divorce, there was no reason to avoid him. So, I walked into the dining room.
Ains’s hand paused briefly when he noticed me, but he resumed eating as I passed by him and took my usual seat to his right.
“Madam, would you like me to prepare your meal?” a maid asked, looking puzzled. It was understandable since I hadn’t shared a meal with Ains since he inherited the title of Duke from his grandfather.
“Yes, please,” I replied with a smile.
Looking back, I couldn’t understand why I had been so affected by Ains’s every reaction.
But then, I had truly loved him. I believed that not annoying him was the best I could do.
But that wasn’t the case. No matter how hard I tried not to bother him, I could never win his heart. Ains had disliked me from the start. Everything I did was just a thorn in his side. Foolishly, I hadn’t realized it.
The maid soon served the appetizer: thinly sliced ham and salad with a tangy dressing. The flavors blended smoothly as I took a bite.
It was almost laughable that on the last day of my ten-year-long unrequited love, I still had an appetite. I chuckled softly, and I felt Ains’s gaze on me.
Pretending nothing was amiss, I continued eating. Yet, Ains’s eyes remained fixed on me.
“Come to my office after breakfast,” Ains suddenly said.
I looked up at him for the first time. He was staring at me with his usual expressionless face. Just his gaze made my chest ache. It seemed my feelings for him still lingered.
But there was something I had to make clear. After today, we would be strangers. He probably wanted me in his office to finalize the divorce.
Ains had always hated me entering his office.
“Is the money ready?” I asked softly after taking a deep breath. Ains nodded, a charming smile playing on his lips.
“Yes. So we need to finalize the divorce papers.”
“If that’s the case, there’s no need for me to go to your office. Just send the papers through Jacob, along with the alimony.”
I turned my gaze away from him completely. If I kept looking at him, the remnants of my attachment might resurface.
“There’s no need for unnecessary back-and-forth, is there?”
“…”
“I said goodbye to Grandfather yesterday. I’ve packed all my things. Once I receive what I’m owed, I’ll never return to this mansion.”
Even as I spoke, my mouth felt dry, like chewing on sand. I took a sip of water, but it didn’t help.
“Right, there’s no need for us to sign together. I’ll send the papers, and you can sign them. The alimony will be sent through Jacob, as you said.”
“Do that.”
“But…”
Ains drew out his words.
“In the end, all you wanted was money. You’re willing to divorce for a million gold.”
“…”
“I noticed you’ve been eyeing the auction house lately. You should have told me sooner. We could have divorced much earlier.”
With that, Ains put down his fork and knife, wiped his mouth with a napkin, and stood up. I only watched him out of the corner of my eye, never meeting his gaze directly.
Ains left the dining room without a backward glance. I watched the door he exited through. His steps seemed light, as if a burden had been lifted.
Of course, he would feel that way. He had spent ten years with someone he disliked, and today, he was finally free. But seeing him so relieved in front of me, I couldn’t help but feel hurt.
‘Where did it all go wrong?’ I thought, recalling the first time I met Ains.
I was fourteen. After my parents died in a carriage accident, I was taken in by Ains’s grandfather, the former Duke, thanks to his friendship with my grandfather.
When I arrived at the Graham estate, I was constantly in tears, mourning my parents. A boy around my age stayed by my side. Having lost his mother to illness around the same time, he understood my pain and comforted me. Whenever I was lost in grief, he would come to console me, and when I shut myself in my room, he would drag me out to the city or the forest.
His kindness stirred something in my dark, descending heart. Thanks to young Ains, I learned to cope with the loss of my parents and found ways to overcome my sorrow.
Perhaps that’s why, in the depths of my despair, Ains seemed like my only light. His bright, fresh smile began to mean something more to me.
But everything changed when Ains’s father died in a large-scale monster subjugation.
Ains had come to resent his grandfather for forcing his father into the monster subjugation expedition, and by extension, he came to hate me, the girl his grandfather had taken in. And that led us to where we were now.
I felt too overwhelmed to continue eating, so I tried to stand up. But as soon as I did, a wave of dizziness hit me, and I collapsed back into my seat ungracefully.
“Madam!” The maids who had been standing by rushed to support me. With their help, I slowly got back on my feet.
“Shouldn’t you rest for a bit?” one of the maids asked, her voice filled with concern. I shook my head, giving her a reassuring smile.
“It’s just a bit of dizziness from standing up too quickly.”
“Shall I call for a doctor?” she persisted, her worry evident.
“No need. I have medicine in my room. I’ll take it and rest. Besides, I don’t want to cause any fuss before I leave. It’s not like this is the first time,” I said, trying to put her at ease.
“…Understood,” she replied, though her concern lingered.
With the maids’ support, I made my way back to my bedroom. Once there, I took the medicine the maid fetched for me and sent her away. The room felt empty, stripped of all my belongings. I lay down on the bed, feeling exhausted despite having just woken up.
* * *
“Madam, it’s Jacob. May I come in?” A familiar voice interrupted my brief nap. Recognizing it as Ains’s assistant, Jacob, I slowly sat up.
“Come in.”
Jacob entered cautiously, holding a folder of documents.
“The master has sent the alimony. Please check the amount and sign the divorce papers if everything is in order,” he said, handing over the documents. Inside was a check for one million gold guaranteed by the Graham trading company and the divorce papers, signed on Ains’s side.
“Jacob, do you have a pen?”
“Yes, here.”
With the pen Jacob provided, I signed the empty space on the papers. This was truly the end.
Jacob took the signed documents, bowed deeply, and left the room quietly.
Alone again, I looked around the barren room before standing up. Staying here would only make it harder to leave. It was best to go before my lingering feelings grew stronger.
As I stepped out of the room, Rachel, who had been waiting in the hallway, began to follow me.
“Rachel, what about my belongings?”
“I’ve already moved them to the Marves estate. Everything is set up, so you just need to arrive.”
“Thank you.”
Though I sincerely thanked her, Rachel kept her head down, looking somber. I turned away from her and descended the stairs to the front entrance.
Turning around, I saw Rachel still looking downcast. I smiled at her, trying to convey that everything was alright.
“This is really goodbye. Thank you for everything, Rachel.”
“…Madam.”
I had hoped to comfort her, but it seemed my words didn’t help much. Rachel looked at me with trembling eyes before finally speaking.
“I hope you get the medicine you need. Please take care of yourself…”
“I will. Thank you for worrying about me,” I said, holding her hand. Tears welled up in her eyes. Not wanting to prolong the moment and risk making her cry, I let go of her hand and turned away. It felt nice to know someone cared about me.
Stepping outside, I took in the familiar sight of the garden. I had walked through it countless times over the past ten years, but now it was time to say goodbye.
Crossing the garden with a newfound sense of finality, I saw the carriage I had reserved waiting for me. With the coachman’s help, I climbed in. He closed the door after making sure I was seated.
The carriage started moving slowly. Through the small window, I watched the streets pass by. It was a route I had taken many times before, but today it felt different.
Unless something extraordinary happened, I would never travel these streets again. I was no longer Cecilia Graham but Cecilia Marves. After my father’s death, I inherited the title and would now live as the Viscountess of Marves.
I should have done this sooner. Even though I had been taken in by the Graham family, I should have returned to my rightful place when I came of age. My love for Ains had delayed that realization for too long.
Our marriage was never one that could bring happiness to either of us. Admitting and accepting that had been painful, which is why I had held on for so long.
After about twenty minutes, the carriage came to a stop.
“We’ve arrived, Madam.”
“Thank you.”
The coachman opened the door and helped me down. I took a small purse from my bag and handed him his fare—10 silver coins, more than a day’s wages for him. He accepted it gratefully and left.
I turned to face my home, the Marves estate.
This was where I belonged.
