The Reason We Must Divorce

“You love me, but want to divorce?”

 

Gray, who had been silent for a while, let out a self-deprecating laugh.

 

“It sounds like a cliché you’d find in tabloid gossip. Marriage vows are, after all, a contract, Regina.”

 

“You were the one who broke the contract first.”

 

“You’re saying it’s my fault?”

 

“You swore before God, didn’t you? That you’d always love me, that you’d stay by my side when I was struggling or in pain.”

 

But he didn’t. During the mere three years of their marriage, Regina had shed enough tears to last a lifetime.

 

Instead of wiping away her tears, Gray was the man who sent her expensive handkerchiefs in all sorts of designs. So, they couldn’t be happy together.

 

“I didn’t marry you because you’re Waylin’s greatest businessman. Gray, I married you because I believed you loved me… because I wanted to build a happy home together.”

 

Even without looking up, she knew. She could feel his gaze, likely one of disdain as if he were looking at a foolish child.

 

“Your naivety, Regina, never ceases to amaze me.”

 

“What… did you just say?”

 

“Are there nobles who don’t know that society is a marriage market?”

 

The man who had passionately proposed throughout the social season now denied all his actions, as if wondering why she couldn’t see it was just a staged performance.

 

“It’s common sense to prove your qualifications if you want to pass a test. Be it employment or marriage, it’s the same. I had to prove that I was better than my competitors. For instance, my qualities as a loving husband, financial stability, and generosity to your impoverished family.”

 

“…You mean you pretended to love me just to win me over?”

 

“Pretending isn’t quite right. Let’s call it courtesy.”

 

No, that confession wasn’t courteous at all. Regina felt her breath catch, and her vision turned yellow.

 

I had a vague suspicion. That you might not love me. 

 

But still, you proposed and made me your wife, so I thought I must be special. That was enough for me. I believed I could make you love me over time.’

 

However, three years of marriage had slowly broken and eroded her. The final blow to her crumbling resolve was the year she spent as a vegetative patient.

 

That’s when Regina finally realized. To him, she wasn’t special at all.

 

In truth, it didn’t matter who it was, as long as the woman met the “requirements” to be his wife.

 

“Before the wedding, you sent me flowers every day, wrote letters borrowing romantic poems and phrases, and asked for permission to date me from my annoying chaperone and family every single time. It was clear that the one who performed the courtship rituals better would be chosen.”

 

He spoke cynically, then asked as if puzzled.

 

“Didn’t you also compare and consider all the conditions before choosing me, Regina?”

 

“…No.”

 

Before she could drown in the tears she was holding back, Regina exhaled one last breath.

 

“That’s why I’m saying we should divorce, Gray. Because I didn’t marry you for that reason.”

 

This time, it was Gray who was at a loss for words. For the first time, there was a logical error he couldn’t understand in his meticulously constructed reasoning.

 

His wife, who he had arrogantly assumed was simple and emotional, someone he could easily “control.”

 

“I know I’m not the wife you wanted. If I were the kind of woman who didn’t demand the absurdity of love and was grateful for everything you gave me, then you wouldn’t have any trouble with me.”

 

“Then act like it now.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

Love can’t be achieved through effort alone. Likewise, no amount of effort could make her cut off her love for him. In the icy silence, she swallowed thickly, the bitterness corroding her throat like acid.

 

But she had to say it, no matter what.

 

“I love you. And I desperately wish that you’d love me, even just a little.”

 

Had she ever uttered the word “desperately” before? It felt like begging for scraps, the heart of a beggar.

 

Regina wasn’t naive enough to think that love would remain as fiery as it was in the beginning. But weren’t there different kinds of love? Even if it wasn’t burning hot, she hoped he’d think of her as a quiet, steady spring of water, always there for him.

 

She was confident she could pour out her overflowing love endlessly without growing tired… if only he allowed her to.

 

“I am a busy man, Regina.”

 

His shadow overlapped with the floor as if bored. Reclined back, his large frame exuded the same dismissiveness he showed when he used to turn down trivial offers back when he was a less famous businessman.

 

“You came into this marriage with nothing but yourself. I’ve worked ten times harder than others to support you and your family. To demand I partake in love games in such a situation…”

 

“Would be inefficient and shameless.”

 

Regina laughed weakly. During the year she lay in bed waiting for him, she endlessly hoped and endlessly despaired.

 

He’ll come to see me. He’s worried about me. He’s just busy with work right now. Maybe tomorrow. If not tomorrow, next week. Next month would be fine too.

 

But Gray never opened the door to her bedroom with a concerned expression.

 

“How about we find a compromise?”

 

Ah. A familiar strategy. Push the other party to their limit, then graciously suggest a compromise when they falter.

 

“A married woman can’t keep speaking of love like a girl. Focus on your duties. If you need something to love, I can get you a dog.”

 

As he spoke, a constant buzzing filled her ears. Strangely, the sound reminded her of the sea.

 

Regina felt like she’d been building a sandcastle alone on the shore. Each time it was swept away, she cried, but she never hesitated to roll up her sleeves and gather sand again.

 

And now, her final sandcastle had crumbled.

 

“Gray, as long as you breathe and exist in the same house as me, I will always love you. And that’s not what you want. So we… it’s right for us to part.”

 

His shadow straightened, sharp as a knife. The pointed figure approached as if ready to pierce her, and she closed her eyes.

 

“Regina.”

 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he invaded her space, his elegant, long fingers gripping her cheek, forcing her to face him.

 

“Look at me.”

 

Reluctantly, she opened her eyes to see his face. He was smiling, cold and serene like the moon.

 

“I will never divorce you.”

 

“…Why not?”

 

“Because it would be stupid.”

 

Because of their close proximity, every syllable he uttered tickled the fine hairs on her cheek and tore her heart to pieces.

 

“You know it too, don’t you? Even if people bow and scrape in front of me to borrow money, behind my back, they sneer, calling me nothing more than a ‘nouveau riche who struck it big’.”

 

Gray didn’t care. The first to pave any road was always pointed at. The scorn of those too cowardly or incapable of carving out a path themselves was laughable to him.

 

“But having my child ostracized is a different matter. There’s no chance that someone lacking would come from my lineage, but still… It’s a parent’s duty to build a safe haven, just in case.”

 

That was why he had married Regina O’Dear—a daughter of an old noble family, descended from those revered founding contributors the aristocracy adored, even if she had no money.

 

“No one would dare look down on a child born of your noble womb. At least, not here in Waylin.”

 

As he spoke in a soft tone, he placed his hand on Regina’s flat stomach.

 

“Do you think I’d let you go without seeing the fruits of my investments? After all I’ve poured into this?”

 

No matter how much she loved him, Gray was uninterested. To him, Regina was merely a bothersome, useless appendage attached to an insufficient womb.

 

“If you bear a child, even your incomprehensible declarations of love might prove useful. When a woman loves her husband, she’s more likely to develop affection for their child. Studies show that children who receive their mother’s love tend to achieve greater success.”

 

Should she consider herself lucky?

 

That her love for him could at least serve some ‘usefulness’.

 

***

 

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